You guys know the drill! No copying! Hope you guys enjoy this. ;)
And might I add I've kept my word to update it on Sunday. ;)
DISCLAIMER: I OWN THIS STORY'S PLOT AND CHARACTERS.
New beginnings.
One year. One whole year.
One year since my birthday.
One year since that fateful day when I met the prince.
One year since I found out I was betrothed to the crown prince.
One year since I fell in love.
One year since all the things we went through; the drama, the sweet and the bitter memories combined together in a way that made them bittersweet.
One year since that horrible night that made me realize what I had, so I could keep away all my fears and embrace, that one thing that I wanted, needed the most in my life.
One year since I let go of everything and gave myself away to David in such a way that I had never given myself to another.
I doubted everything in my life since my parents faked their death. Everything except David.
It's been one year... since he left me heartbroken.
I felt a sense of Deja-vu as I sat in my room waiting for the clock to strike 12.
To signify that I was 19 years old.
As similar as it all may seem, it was nothing like last year or the year before that.
This time I had no friends waiting to surprise me.
This time I had no letters that I anxiously waited for.
This time I had no reason to live for.
How can my life change so drastically? Even though I protected myself from every possible heartbreak that I could have had. How could I not see this one?
For a minute I found myself wishing that everything was the way it was a year back. Even if it meant that I never met David. Even if it meant that my parents would still be dead.
At least I wouldn't have felt this magnitude of pain; as if someone had ripped me in two. At least my life would be what I called normal. At least I was satisfied with it.
Now nothing seems to matter anymore.
I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't dream, I can't do anything.
I feel so lost.
What to do? Where to go? How to ease this pain that should've stopped months ago?
Why does the world seem so different now?
Why does the sun rise from the same place, set at the same place, the same time every day, yet lost its glow?
How could the colors of the lovely leaves during autumn disappear?
How could the rain feel so cold when it was once so comforting?
How could the blue clear sky loose its meaning?
How could winters feel so cold and menacing?
How could the flowers lose their smell?
How can I forget and ease my sorrow?
I knew the answers were easy.
It was just a matter of perception. But was it sadistic of me to think that this pain felt so good?
Was it crazy of me to hold on to my sorrows, even though it destroys me second by second?
Was is absolutely absurd of me to hold on to everything in a chance to keep, even if a small part of my memory alive, of David, of us, even if it was just a lie?
I left the pen inside my diary that I had started writing a month back. It helped a lot. It was a better way to sooth myself instead of complaining all the time. Not that I did it anyway, who would I do it to? But it was just too much to keep in.
It had almost been a year, how long would it take for the wound to heal?
I walked down my big staircase with my hand on the expensive wood that made the railing of the stairs. I tried to feel its smooth surface like I used to but I just couldn't bring myself to actually feel it.
Half way down the stairs the lights switched on in the big open area at the base of the staircase- could be called a spacious room for guests if they had to wait, right after the entrance from the big doors.
I had grown rather accustomed to the dark in the past few months.
I squinted as the chandelier blazed its light in my eyes and saw a room full of people, or rather Vampires.
It took me a few more minutes to realize that they all were wishing me a happy birthday.
I seemed to be a bit slow again. But that's nothing new. I felt dead. For I was no longer the happy, exotic, vibrant girl everyone seemed to remember.
I met people I had met at my engagement ball. Seeing them flooded back memories that plagued my mind; unwanted ones of course. I'd be a masochist if I wanted to inflict pain on myself, maybe I was.
I met everyone sooner or later saying the same thing again and again. "Thank you for coming"
Although those words seemed to be the same ones I said last year to my friends, yet this time it held no meaning. A dead tone had settled in my voice.
Leaving the royalties for the last I made my way towards the King and the Queen.
The Queen, in her ever so welcoming and soothing voice said "Happy birthday dear."
"Thank you."
She just smiled a sad smile and the king said the same thing receiving the same reply.
I saw Lindsay standing behind them and with a polite 'excuse me' I made my way towards her.
"Happy birthday!" she hugged me.
I hugged her back. "I didn't expect to see you. How have you been?" she was probably the only person who I wanted to talk to in this whole room; particularly because I didn't know anyone else personally as much as I knew her.
"Good, what about you?"
"Great."
She paused. "Honestly?"
"Of course" I lied through my teeth. I had gotten better at it.
I didn't feel bad about it because to be honest I didn't really care or feel like I knew her well enough anymore.
I hadn't seen her in a year even when she tried to meet me. I just wasn't ready.
"Umm" she tried to fill up the awkward gap. "The Salvatore brothers wished you a happy birthday too. They wanted to come but didn't want to overwhelm you"
I nodded "I understand, give them my thank you."
After a pause I said "so... When's the wedding?"
She looked like she was about to cry.
"It's in a month and I really want you to come! Please don't say no! I think of you as much a sister as my own blood sister. I would love it if you came. I'd love it if you became my maid of honor. I can't express how much I worry about you. And with the wedding preparations I feel like it's a full time job. I love you, I really do, and I can't see you like this.." she whispered in the end hoping I wouldn't hear it but alas I was so used to the quiet that anything else seemed too loud.
It hurt me to have her ask something of me that I couldn't do. A year back I would've jumped up and down and cried my eyes out. But now.. I just didn't know how to react. I just couldn't face the Salvatore family anymore.
"Please understand if I say-"
"No! This is my wedding day we're talking about! I will understand if you refuse to meet me for a whole year. I will understand if you don't want to come visit me. I will understand if you never want to talk to me or any of the Salvatore members. But I will not understand if you miss my wedding which will never come again. I missed you. I truly did. But if you do this... Then..." she stopped trying to control her shaky voice. Had she been human, she would be in tears.
I hugged her. "You didn't let me finish. I said, please understand if I say I'd be honored to." of course I lied if it made her as happy as she now looked. If I couldn't be happy at least I should try to make others happy. She helped me so much when I first arrived at the castle, I owed this to her.
"Really?" she squealed.
"Yeah.." she hugged me and I shared her enthusiasm, except mine was fake. I really was happy for her. At least she got her happy ending that she deserved.. What did I do wrong? No Elizabeth! Don't even go there.
I couldn't even start to imagine what an outsider I will feel in a house that I had once called my home. Where I thought I would spend my forever with David.
Then I met my parents who said "Surprise!"
"Mom, Dad, you guys didn't have to do this.."
"Of course we did honey! It's your first birthday with us!" said my mother.
"Mom, I appreciate it. But I hardly think it was necessary."
They had climbed the social ladder quite a lot.
"But we wanted to. You're our only child..."
"Okay, let's try this another way. I'm tired and I'm going upstairs to sleep. And if you didn't notice, it still hurts."
I whispered. I didn't care whoever heard it. They probably won't get it either. I couldn't help but note again how insensitive my mother had become after climbing her social ladder, and the quiet person dad was, he hardly said anything to me at all. Except of course the 'happy birthday' everyone wished me. But why would they say this? Didn't they know there was nothing happy about it?
I had started walking up the stairs when a cold hand stopped me.
I looked at the hand, reminding me of so many things. Then I looked at the face.
"But we have another surprise for you! Please don't say no!"
"Have I ever said no?"
She smiled. I had never said no to her. Not even the time when I should have. A year ago, if I said no when she cried like that... Maybe, just maybe, things could have been different. Maybe I wouldn't have had to go through this headache.
"Move into the King's mansion with us! It's so much better than our house and you've stayed there for over a year and a half, it was nice, just like home. So the King offered us to stay with him. We are best friends after all."
I couldn't even believe this.
"No."
"Why?" she asked sadly. I will not let her manipulate me again.
"Just the fact that you have to ask me that question is absurd mother."
She looked at me sadly. "It's almost been a year. Get over it already, it happens."
I held her hand in my hand no matter how much that sentence hurt me and calmly said "Mom, I've never interfered in your life and now that I'm 19 I don't want you to interfere in mine. I am happy the way I am. I will stay here as long as I want in my father's house and you, as you have always been, are free to go live there."
"Really?" her face lifted up as she embraced me.
I felt like a rag doll. How could she?
I turned and made my way towards my bedroom letting the vampires socialize as much as they wanted because I knew better, they weren't here for me.
I couldn't help the tears that escaped, or the shaking sobs that came out as I slipped down my door. I had somehow managed to keep my sobs quiet enough that vampires couldn't hear them.
Soon after I felt tired enough to sleep and why wouldn't I?
I went to my university, my job, the gym and I ran outside for as long as my legs could take me.
I had lost weight, mainly because I didn't eat much and probably because of the rigorous exercise I did to tire myself enough to sleep.
I usually felt so depressed but sometimes, just sometimes I thought I could feel David's feeling too. But I knew I was just fooling myself into being delusional.
Exhausted I climbed into bed and fell asleep, only to wake up at the crack of dawn with the creeping nightmares.
:O :O Whaaaat? I did not see that one coming. Did you?
Don't forget to R&R. Dying to know your views! Please don't kill me? You'll know soon hopefully what's going on!
Love, Z.