Valerie’s POV
I had to do this. I left him hanging and now I had to fix this. I owe David an explanation. I wanted to end whatever we had as soon as possible. Nagpunta kami sa isang restaurant para makapag-usap ng maayos.
He sat across me and smiled at me. I felt my throat dry in anxiety. My hand reached for the glass of water in front of me and I took a sip from it.
“How have you been?” He asked.
“Fine.” I answered, putting the glass down.
He nodded his head. “Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon makasunod sa’yo dito. I’ve been wanting to see you but dad needed me there.”
“Naiintindihan ko.” I forced a smile.
“Valerie, why did you leave the hacienda?”
I took a deep breath before answering. “I followed my heart.”
“What do you mean?”
“I followed the man I love.”
“I… I thought we had something special.”
“That’s what I thought too. I wanted to love you but my heart is not with you.”
“It it Axel?” His voice took a darker tone and so did his face.
“Yes.” I croacked out. “I love him.”
“He isn’t the right man for you. I am. We’ve known each other since we were little. Hindi ba ipinangako ko sa’yo noon na babalik ako para sa’yo? We’re meant for each other.”
“David, bata pa tayo noon. Things have changed.”
“But Val…” His hand slid to mine that was resting on the table. Agad kong binawi ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya.
“I’m sorry, David. I’m so sorry.” I said and got up from my seat. I loved David but it was nothing like the love I had for Axel. I had only seen the best of David. I fell in love with the idea of him, the illusion of him. I had seen the worst of Axel, every imperfection he had, every flaw, every quirk, and I loved him even more. I could feel the love I had for him in my bones and not just in my head.
I hurridly walked out of the restaurant. It didn’t take long for him to follow after me. “Valerie!” He grabbed me by the arm and spun me around. “I love you, Valerie. What do I need to do to make you love me again?”
“There’s nothing you need to do. I only fell in love with what I made you out to be. I only fell in love with the idea of you.”
“Then I’d be the best damn idea you’ve ever had!” He pulled me to him and before I could even react, he crashed his lips to mine.
“Mm!” My hands clenched to his chest as I tried to push him away from me.
“You fucking whore!” My whole body froze when I heard his dark and deep voice. David’s lips finally separated to mine as he tried to catch his breath. I looked at Axel, his eyes burning with hatred, anger and disgust.
“Axel…” I said in a low voice. I took a step towards him and he took a step back. He walked away and I tried to catch up to him. Sumakay siya sa kotse at bago pa ako makahabol, nasara niya na ang pinto. I banged on the car window and begged him to talk to me but he ignored me. He started his car and I couldn’t do anything but watch him as his car sped off. Hot tears began stinging my eyes.
“He’s an asshole, Valerie. He doesn’t deserve you.” Sabi ni David. “You don’t need him.”
“I don’t need him but I want him more than anything and that’s worst than needing him.” I said as I wiped away the tears that trickled down my cheeks.
“Val…” He tried to reach for me but I moved away.
“Do not touch me.” I said through gritted teeth as I glared at him. I left him there and got a cab to Axel’s condo. My hand shook as I reached for the door handle to his unit. I opened it and slowly walked in. I found Axel sitting on the mini bar with a glass of what seemed like an alcohol in his hand. I slowly walked to him and hugged him from behind.
“What you saw was not what you think. You know how much I love you.” I rested my forehead on his shoulder as I sobbed.
“Pack up your things and leave.” He said in a hard, cold voice.
“Axel, please… hindi ko ginusto iyon.” I cried. “I don’t want to leave. I love you and I won’t leave you.”
“Pagbalik ko ayaw ko ng makita ka dito. I would call the security guards to throw you out of here if I have to.” He unclasped my arms from his torso. “Save yourself the humiliation.”
Tumayo siya mula sa kinauupuan niya at lumabas sa unit. I burst into tears as soon as he left. My legs felt weak, unwilling to stand any longer, I sat on the couch and cried. My elbows rested on my thigs and I buried my face on my palm to muffle my sobs. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. I loved and I tried and it was enough. I loved him and it was exhausting.
I took out my phone and dialed dad’s number. After a few rings he picked it up.
“Daddy…” My voice shook.
“Princess, what’s wrong?” He asked, worried.
“Nothing. I just miss you and I want to go home.” I sobbed.
“Princess, tell me what’s wrong.” He pressed. “What did he do to you?”
“Mahirap ba akong mahalin, dad?”
“No! Baby, no.” He immediately answered and took a long pause as if he was thinking. “It’s just that you can’t love someone into loving you. You can love someone with all your heart, skin and bones and it won’t change a thing. Remember this, relationships can’t be carried by only one of its half.”
Axel’s POV
“Atticus.” Dad looked surprised when he saw me. I decided to go to my parent’s house to spend the night. I wanted Valerie out of my home but I couldn’t bear seeing her go either.
“Hi, dad.” I forced out. “I don’t feel like going to my condo. Can I crash here tonight?”
“You’re my son. You know you’re always welcome here.” He said.
“Thanks.” Pinilit kong ngumiti,
“Is something wrong? May problema ka ba?” He looked at me with worry in his eyes.
“I just had a hard day. I’m going to my room.” I said as I started walking towards the stairs. My chest felt heavy as if it weighed a thousand pounds. I went to my room and threw my body to my bed. I closed my eyes and all I could see was the image of Valerie and David kissing in my head. I let out an angry curse. This felt more painful than the time I caught Guiliana having sex with another man.
It was so painful that I didn’t even got to be angry. I just drove home in silent tears. I never cried when Guiles left me but with Valerie I felt like a pussy. I had been made out of a fool the second time around and I fucking cried over it.
There was a knock on my door. “Axel honey, can I come in?” I heard my mom’s voice. The door opened and I saw her standing there, holding a tray. I sat up from the bed as she walked towards me. She placed the tray on the bedside table and sat on the edge of my bed. She lovingly stroked my hair and smiled at me. “Dad’s worried about you, he sent me here to talk to you. What’s wrong, honey?”
“Nothing.” I shrugged.
She silently looked at me for awhile before she spoke. “Anak kita, nanggaling ka sa akin. Alam ko kung may problema ka. I can feel it.”
“Am I… am I not enough?”
“Honey…” There was pity in her eyes. “You’re more than enough. What made you think that?”
I felt weak and vulnerable. For a moment, I felt like a little boy again. I told my mother about Valerie and what I saw earlier and what she said before I left her.
“Hindi ko pa nakikilala si Valerie pero sa mga kwento mo pa lang nararamdaman kong mahal ka niya. Babae din ako, kaya alam ko. She wouldn’t do all those things for you if she didn’t love you.” She smiled. “And I know you love her too. I could see tell by the way you talk about her.”
“I know you’ve been hurt once but that shouldn’t stop you from loving again. You need to stop getting angry at the world when it falls apart. Iba si Valerie kay Guiliana. You always get the choice of staying or leaving. If Valerie wants to leave you she will. Eventually, she’ll find a way out, whether she breaks the door or smash the window. If she doesn’t love you, if she wants to leave, she’ll be gone. But, honey, she wants to stay with you. And you shouldn’t push her away. If you keep pushing her away, somebody she won’t come back. Guiliana left you but you can’t hold that against Valerie.”
Valerie’s POV
I had already put half of my clothes in my luggage when I heard the door outside open and close. It was followed by heavy footsteps that got louder and louder with every steps. It stopped right outside the room. The knob turned and the door pushed open. Axel stood there with a stoic look on his face. Our eyes met and I quickly avoided his gaze. I turned my attention back to the luggage in front of me as I carefully put my clothes in there.
“Inaayos ko lang ang mga gamit ko. I’ll leave right away after this.” I said.
I could see from my peripheral vision when he started slowly walking towards me. Huminto siya sa likod ko. His arms wrapped around me. “Don’t leave. Huwag mo akong iwan.” He whispered to my ears as if almost begging.
He buried his face on my neck and began kissing me there. “Goddamn it, Val. I love you!”