"It's just that everyone is taken back by me but you."
☾
We meet Clark and Finn at some point. We had been walking for a while now.
"How do we know this is the right way?" Murphy asks them.
"We don't. Spacewalker thinks he's a tracker." Bellamy replies and I chuckle.
"It's called cutting sign. Fourth year Earth Skills. He's good." Wells speaks up.
"You wanna keep it down or should I paint a target on your back?" Finn argues and I roll my eyes.
Suddenly we hear a loud moan.
"What the hell was that?" Murphy asks not to anyone in particular.
"Now would be a good time to take out that gun," Clark tells Bellamy and we follow her and Finn as they run towards the origin of the sound.
"Jasper," Clark mutters.
I look in front of us and I notice Jasper tied to a tree, bloody and a moaning mess. I take my ax almost immediately, grabbing it highly.
"Oh my god, Jasper," Clark says as she walks towards him, I touch Murphy's shoulder slightly.
"It could be a trap," I mutter to him making him slow down.
"What the hell is this?" Bellamy asks Clark.
Suddenly, Clark almost falls into a hole in the ground, my heart stops for a moment but goes back to his normal pace when Bellamy grabs her arm, they look at each other, but none of them move.
"I told you." I look at Murphy and we both run towards her and Bellamy, helping him pushing her out.
Finn and Wells help us and she's out.
"You okay?" Both me and Finn ask her at the same time.
"Yeah," She looks at us and Finn helps her up.
"We need to get him down, I didn't walk for half an hour for nothing," I tell them and Finn nods.
"I'll climb up there and cut the vines." He says.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm with you." Wells agrees but I stop him.
"No, stay with them," I tell him and then look at Murphy motioning him to come with us.
He doesn't follow me right away, first, he looks at Bellamy, asking for permission. Only when he tells him to follow me, he starts to climb the tree behind us.
"You're his dog." I look back at Murphy but he doesn't reply.
Finna and Murphy are cutting the ropes around his torso while I'm cutting the ones around his wrists.
"Hurry up, Murphy," Bellamy says and I roll my eyes.
"Hestia, be careful," Clark tells me and I wink at her when she calls me making her roll her eyes.
We suddenly hear a noise coming from the bushes behind us.
"Grounders?" Bellamy asks unsure.
Up from the tree, I can catch the glance of what should be a black panther, but the animal looks off.
"Bellamy, gun!" Clark says but when he goes to get her, nothing.
I hear gunshots and look at Wells, who's with Bellamy's gun, only hitting the animal once, in the leg.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me," I mutter when I notice that Bellamy's trapped and that Well's out of bullets.
The animal jumps towards Bellamy but fails, due to the wound on its leg.
When my parents were alive, my father would tell me stories about the animals on earth. I knew them all. They used to say that if Earth was still a thing, I would have been a vet. Weird how a kid that dreamed of healing animals, end up killing humans.
I get off the tree motioning to Finn end up cutting the rope and walk towards the animal. I take Bellamy's knife from his hand and stuck it into the animal's neck, ending his suffering.
"I'm sorry," I mutter, not loud enough for anyone to hear. "We have dinner," I say getting up and fixing my posture, handling Bellamy his knife.
Everyone's looking at me with weird looks on their faces.
"Don't look so surprised I'm not that much of a bitch." I snap at them walking to somewhere I'm needed.
Wells stops looking at me and goes to grab Jasper's legs to help them bring him down.
As soon as Jasper's on the ground, Wells and Finn carry him to the dropship, while Murphy and Bellamy carry the animal. I would do it but I like to see the men doing all the work for once.
Clark's freaking out over Jasper's condition while I go on the back, doing my best not to look at the dead animal in front of me.
We arrive, Jasper's taken to the dropship while the animal is taken to the fire.
I can't be with any of them right now, so I walk to the place I had found. I lay on the fallen tree as I look at the sky, finding the constellations. My mother used to tell me about them. She said if she died she would find a star and that she would look upon me. I'm hoping that the star her soul chooses is unable to see me here. Cause if she sees me, she hates me. All I did. All I'm cable of doing.
I feel tears falling down my face, something I haven't felt in a long time. I wanna scream, but I can't. For the first time, I let my feelings sink in, the feelings that have been here since they died. I lost them in a week. I was seven, I couldn't deal with it. I never had time to mourn them. When I notice I was living with the neighbors. With a family who would treat me like shit.
I spent these ten years thinking about what I would do if I was free, and now that I am, I don't know what to do. No one ever told me what to do.
Before I notice I see someone on my side. I look and I see Clark making me clean my tears and look away, unable to keep them from falling.
"I was looking for you." She says sitting on the other fallen tree.
"How did you know I was here?" I ask between sobs.
"Murphy told me you might be here," Clark replies getting up and sits on my side. "He likes you."
"It's been three days, he doesn't know me," I say not looking at her.
"Thank you. For helping us."
"Yeah." I nod. "How's Jasper?"
"Not good. He's sleeping, I did the best that I could." She swallows hard and I take a deep breath.
"Will he live?"
"I'll try my best." She assures, more to her than to me. "They're only giving food to who takes the wristbands."
"Then take it off. Is that why you're here." I finally look at her. I can imagine how red my eyes must be by the look on her face. "You want me to change their minds? That's you came here?" I snap at her but she doesn't reply. "Fuck you."
"I..." She shutters.
"Leave," I tell her, and she does as I ask.
As soon as she leaves, my head drops to my hands and I sob uncontrollably.
* * *
I've been crying for god know's how long. I'm not even sad anymore, but the tears just kept coming.
About an hour ago, I decided to start trying to throw my ax into a tree. The first time it ricocheted and almost took my eye off. The other few times kept hitting the tree and falling. After some time, I got it. I don't mean to grab but I'm pretty good at it.
I should be sleeping but I'm not, I'm with my feet on the water and sitting on a rock.
I start hearing someone approaching and I grab my axe tighter. Only to see Murphy.
"First Clark, now you. What do you want?" I look away from him and back at the fireflies close to the river.
"Calm down, tiger." He teases making me smile a little and roll my eyes. "I came to bring you this."
He walks towards me with a stick and a piece of the animal from earlier on it.
"Scoot over." He tells me as he sits on my side, on the rock.
"Thanks," I mutter grabbing it and starting eating it.
"Someone's hungry." He teases again and I scoff slightly feeling the urge to support my head on his shoulder but not doing anything about it. "What's wrong?"
I don't answer his question and he looks at the lake. I don't know what to say. I don't want to make myself vulnerable but I still wanna tell him. I don't.
We stay there in a weird silence. I hate silence. I never got used to how all the screaming turned into silence in a matter of days.
"Why did you got arrested?" I ask him looking at him.
"You don't answer any o my questions, but you're hoping I answer yours." He smirks, looking at me.
Our faces were inches from each other. I can see him looking from my eyes to my lips and to my eyes again.
"You know why I got arrested," I tell him.
"Everyone does, but nobody knows why. I've seen your scars." Murphy keeps looking at my lips.
"They were assholes, that's why." I look away from him and back at the lake.
"What did you did alone for four years anyway?" He looks away as well.
"I read. I got a guard wrapped around my finger and he brought me everything he could." I explain to him. "I used to write quotes from each book on the wall. I ran out of space eventually."
"What was your favorite book?"
"Lord of the Flies."
"Never heard of it."
I laugh slightly and he looks back at me.
"What?" He asks.
"Nothing," I mutter "It's just that everyone is taken back by me but you."
"I'm not scared of you, Inanna." This time he's the one looking away.
"Why?"
"I don't know." He looks back. "Everyone seems to be taken back by me too."
"I'm not," I tell him, and his expression changes, not to a smirk but to something else. As if he didn't believe me. "Hey." I slightly put my hand on his face making him look at me. "I'm not."
Suddenly his lips meet mine. His hands are all over me and I don't even notice that I've never done anything like this before.
He kisses me harder. Almost passionate. My hand grips his face tighter as the other one goes to the back of his neck, slightly touching his hair.
He has one hand on my waist and the other pushing me closer by the back of my neck.
I feel his hand finding its way under my shirt and I flinch slightly.
"Slow down, tiger." I slightly push him away, not wanting him to take an even closer look to the marks around my body.
"What's wrong?" He smirks at me.
"Nothing. Let's just take it slow." I slightly smile at him and he takes the hint that I'm no longer joking.
"Okay, I can be patient if that's what you want," Murphy tells me, his hand still on my waist.
"Thanks."
"No problem." He pushes me closer and I smile. "She smiles." He teases.
"I've smiled before," I tell him, my head on his shoulder.
"Not like this." He looks down at me. "Did Clark let you sleep on her tent?"
"Nope," I say popping up the p. "Are rescue services still available?" I ask slightly afraid he'll tell me to go sleep on the dropship.
"What do you think?" He smirks looking at the lake.
"You're an asshole." I joke and he laughs slightly. "He smiles." I tease, using the same words he used earlier.
"Fuck off." He laughs again and I place a kiss on the neck. "Don't tease me." He smirks looking at me again making me kiss him and go back to laying my head on his shoulder.
Suddenly, Earth seems less bad.