He hex's her mouth open as wide as it can go and ties her arms with the rope always attached to the posts of the bed.
"You love me, pet. I know you do."
Once he is sure they are tight enough, he moves over her, looking angrier than she has seen him in a long time.
She screwed up. She hesitated. Her voice had broken as she said the word, making it sound more like lurk than love. And he was now punishing her for it.
She can't even beg as he liked sometimes. She can't even scream with her mouth hexed like this.
He comes back into her vision and has a tool that she knows all too well due to her parent's occupation.
No, No, he isn't going to... No, please no.
Her thoughts are cut off as she feels the cold metal press into her gums as he situates the device around one of her molars.
"You love me, pet. I know it. Your body tells me every day, now we just need to train your mouth to do the same."
She starts screaming.
"Granger! Granger, wake up!"
She feels someone shaking her body, and she opens her eyes.
She is still screaming.
It was just a dream.
It was just a dream.
No pet. It was a memory.
She shuts her mouth as her eyes adjust to the dark, seeing Malfoy looking down at her. His blonde hair is all over the place from sleep, and he must have torn down the thin sheet divider between their sections of the tent.
"You're okay; it was just another nightmare. You're safe, you're safe, Granger." His hands wrap around her face and wipe away the tears. "Come here."
He pulls her into his lap, and she takes a deep breath of his mint scent as she wraps her arms around him.
He pulls away from her for a second to hand her a Draught of Peace, and she takes it.
This was now the 8th night in a row she had a nightmare.
The first one happened the night Theo left to cover Blaise's position at the base due to the France attack, and now it seemed they would be a nightly occurrence.
She had been hopeful at the beginning that she wouldn't have nightmares. She had gone two weeks without one. But it seemed like the less she heard the other hers voice in her head during the day, the more nightmares she had. Theo told her to take a dreamless sleep potion before falling asleep, but she was trying hard not to rely on potions. She was almost at her breaking point tonight, though. Maybe tomorrow, she would just take the damn thing before bed.
Her limbs start to shake less as the potion kicks in, and her crying settles to silent tears as she continues to see Dolohov's furious face staring down at her as pain radiated through her body at what he was doing.
"I'm here. I got you, Granger."
She feels his words against her neck at the place he always went to while holding her.
"It was the same one as yesterday."
"The tooth?"
She nods her head into his bare chest. He started sleeping without a shirt on, to her wonderful surprise. He admitted that usually, he didn't sleep with much on but had changed his sleeping attire since she had been joining him at night. She didn't think curling up in his arms could get better, but being pressed against his bare porcelain skin... yeah, it was better.
As those thoughts fill her mind, she feels the fear fading away.
Does he know how much he helps?
Does he know how much easier he makes every moment to breathe?
"Thank you, Malfoy, I don't think I've ever told you this, but you help me. You help me so much, and I am grateful for how kind you have been since I have been here."
She feels his body tense around her at her words.
"I should have been this kind to you always. I am sorry I wasn't."
He wasn't wrong. He should have been. She had never given him a reason to treat her as he used to. Mocking her, making fun of everything about her, even calling her that horrible word.
She had actually been interested in meeting him. As soon as she received her letter and learned that she was a witch, she had consumed as much information on this new world as possible.
True to character, she bought book after book, subscribed to Witch Weekly (that was a mistake), and the Daily Prophet. Skimming through the paper, she had seen his photo and name many times. His family was a big deal, super-rich, basically royalty. His mother was always hosting galas supporting organizations and underfunded ministry work, which she found inspiring. She thought she would like the woman. They were always stated as something called purebloods. At 11, she didn't really understand what that meant, but she read how their son Draco Malfoy (she had pronounced it all wrong, sounding out the 'a' in his first name the same as the 'a' in Malfoy) would be attending Hogwarts along with her, and she was hopeful that maybe they could be friends.
When the day came, he was the only face she recognized at the station since she knew no one else from this world yet. Well, she recognized the hair first.
"Dear, is that the little boy from the paper you told me about?"
Hermione felt her cheeks turn crimson for a reason she didn't really understand. She hadn't mentioned him much, right? Maybe once or twice when her parents asked what she was learning about the wizarding world, perhaps. Maybe three or four times about the color of his hair. Wondering if it was a common look in the magic world. Okay, maybe five or six times about the library his family had and how she hoped they would become friends, so he would invite her over to see it.
"Yes, I believe so. Mum, Dad, I think it is time to board."
He was entering the fifth train car, and she wanted to make sure she found a seat in the same one.
Her parents gave each other a look she didn't recognize, and then they both bent down to give her big hugs and kisses and words of encouragement. She saw the tear in her father's eye as he bopped her on the nose.
"Go change the world, sweetheart."
She gave them a big smile and ran towards the car she had seen the blonde head enter.
She already had their conversation planned out. She would introduce herself and extend her hand, he would take it, and then she would go into incredible detail about one of the rare collections she had read that his library held. That would impress him. That would engage him. And then he would invite her over to examine it herself over one of the breaks or summers. And then they would be friends.
Hermione didn't have many friends growing up. She tended to get along and connect with older people better than her peers. She had always felt different, less than, or just wrong in the world. Now she thought maybe that was because she belonged in this one.
She entered the alley and saw that the car had sectioned off sitting areas. She made her way down, glancing in each box for the platinum hair. As she was looking, she ran into someone in front of her.
"Oi! Blimey! Sor-sorry there. I didn't see you."
She looked up and saw a taller brown-haired boy looking at her shyly and then darting his eyes to the floor around them.
"It's okay. I'm Hermione Granger." She extended her hand out to the boy, who hesitated before taking it and shaking it quickly.
"I'm Neville. Have you seen a toad around here? I... I seemed to have lost him. Trevor! Trevor!"
He got down on his knees and looked under the radiator unit on the wall. Hermione matched his actions, loving all types of animals herself, to help him find his toad.
"Does he respond to his name?"
The boy shook his head before looking behind a curtain. "No, I... I am not very good at training him I guess. Maybe he got into a box, or maybe he is in the loo?"
She stood up and brushed off the dirt from her jeans.
"I'll look in the boxes. You look in the lavatory."
The brown-haired boy nodded his head, turned, and started to yell the toad's name.
She walked down the aisle to the first sectioned seating area. The curtains were drawn, so she couldn't see into it, so she knocked.
"Bugger off!"
Well, that was rude, she had thought. The tone and attitude used behind the words didn't help her mood either.
Instead of doing as the voice told her, she pounded on the door harder and didn't stop until the person inside opened it.
She blinked at the familiar blonde hair.
"What do you want?"
She watched as the boy looked her up and down, a dumbfounded look appearing as he took in her jeans. Something she had noticed not too many of the other kids wearing.
"Are you mute or just stupid? I asked what do you want?"
She blinked and shook her head. "I... Have you seen a toad anywhere in your box? His name is Trevor and..."
A dark-haired girl behind him and three boys all started laughing at her. She was used to that. The other kids from her old school laughed at her all the time too. That didn't mean she liked it.
"Maybe he is in her hair. Could probably hide a lot of things in that monstrosity."
She felt her cheeks redden as the blonde in front of her snickered at the cruel girl's remark.
"Yes, good point. Have you checked your hair, if that's what you want to call it?"
Well, I don't think I want to be friends with him or them.
"Have you seen him or not?"
She didn't have time for cruel people. She had better things to do. She rolled her eyes, placed her hands on her hips, and looked straight up at the boy, trying to make her feel less.
You have met your match.
He glared back at her, and his smirk turned into a sneer again.
"The only toad I have seen is you. Now bugger off."
Then he had slammed the door in her face.
"Do you remember how we met?"
She pulls out of his arms to sit on the floor in front of him as she thinks about the memory. At her words, he looks down as she looks up at him, not wanting to meet her eyes.
"Yes."
She leans back on her hands and looks at the pattern of the duvet lying across his legs. "You know I wanted to be your friend?"
"What?"
"I didn't know anyone from the wizarding world. Didn't even know it existed until a couple months before I went to Hogwarts. So I read a lot about it to grasp anything I could. I got the Daily Prophet, and your family was in it a lot. And it said you would be attending Hogwarts, and I remember thinking, well, I will recognize one face. Maybe he will want to be my friend."
She watches as he grows more and more uncomfortable as she speaks. He moves his weight from one arm to the other and closes his eyes to the floor. He raises one hand and starts rubbing the side of his face back and forth.
"I actually pronounced your name all wrong too. I thought it was pronounced Draco Malfoy, and I..."
"I called you a toad. And insulted your hair. And you rolled your eyes at me for the first time."
She blinks and nods her head at him, even though he still won't look at her. She is surprised he remembers the encounter so accurately. She hardly thought it meant anything to him at the moment, let alone close to 9 years later.
"I told you to bugger off, and then I slammed the door in your face."
"Yes, you did."
"I...."
His voice cuts out as he releases a deep sigh and finally looks up, meeting her eyes.
"I am so sorry, Granger. I am sorry for my cruelty. I am sorry for my actions. All of them. I wish I could go through every infraction I have made against you and apologize, but we would be here for hours possibly, and that fact sickens me. I hope I am proving to you I am not that boy anymore and that I will never be him again."
She stares back at him. He had apologized before. In 6th year, when they had a run-in on her way to the library. He told her he was sorry for how he used to treat her, how he didn't believe anymore. It was days before the Battle in the Astronomy Tower. Days before he thought he was going to die, she now believes he was righting all the wrongs he thought he needed to.
She had known something was going on with him but had no idea what was about to happen. All she had given him was a simple thank you, agreed to put the past behind them as long as he proved he truly had changed and offered her help once again. Like she had in the infirmary, but the apology was interrupted by Crabbe, and Malfoy walked away.
"You said something very similar to me in year 6. When... when did it all change for you?"
"When I called you that word and knew I didn't believe it."
"But why didn't you believe it anymore?"
He looks away from her eyes again and moves them back and forth at the blanket. She always wondered what had caused the change in him. It seemed to her the deeper he was pulled into the beliefs, the less he believed them. Maybe it was the evil he had seen. Yes, he used to be cruel, and petty, and a git, but he was never evil. She learned there was a big difference.
"How honest do you want me to be, Granger?"
"As honest as you can be, Malfoy."
He runs his hand over his face, and she finds herself leaning forward.
"You. You are the main reason I stopped believing in all that nonsense. It didn't make sense logically or intellectually. If muggles and muggle-borns were so inferior, then why were you beating me in every fucking subject? Why were you constantly getting Potter and Weasel and the rest of us out of situation after situation? Why were you better than most of us at magic? None of it made sense, and the older I got, and the more I saw what my parent's belief system entailed, I didn't want any part of it."
He twists his left forearm over to the Dark Mark and looks down at it. "I never wanted any of this."
"I know that."
He looks up from the tattoo and pulls his eyebrows together. "You do?"
She nods her head and tucks a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "You have been trapped for a long time, Malfoy. I knew that year 6."
He just stares at her, so she continues. If they are finally going to have a moment of honesty and vulnerability between them, she needs to say more.
"You... I don't know if it is all in my head, but I noticed you stopped being cruel to me around 5th year. You weren't overtly nice to me either. It... it just seemed like you wanted to stay away from me, or you were avoiding me. Was that because you were struggling with walking away from your parent's beliefs then, and I was a reminder of that?"
He scoffs at her and shakes his head down at the floor.
Okay... so I'm not right about that...
"You are a reminder of a lot of things, Granger."
"Like what?"
"All my regrets, for one. I see them all when I look at you."
She rolls her eyes at him and leans back on her hands again.
"I told you I forgave you, Malfoy. If you think I am going to hold actions you made when you were an ignorant child, that you have apologized for, that you have stopped for the most part. I mean, you are still a prick sometimes..." They both smile at her jab, agreeing silently at its truth. "If you think I would believe in those moments over the actions you have made, and are continuing to make now, then you don't know me. I meant it when I told you I think you are brave."
He scoffs at her again, stretching his arms above his head, flexing his chest and muscular arms. Hermione looks down to keep herself from staring.
"Maybe you don't know me either, Granger."
"And who's fault is that?"
"It's dangerous to know me and my secrets."
Now it is her turn to scoff at him. That was a sorry excuse in her book. He chose to be alone. He chose to hide his true self from people. Yes, she could see that he had been in an environment where he would have to hide away his new beliefs as they would probably get him and everyone he cared about killed, but she wasn't dangerous. She would never use his secrets against him. She would never exploit his vulnerability.
"But telling me is not dangerous."
He physically twitches and barks out a humorless laugh at her words. Why does he think they are ridiculous?
"Granger, telling you would be one of the most dangerous things I could ever do."
She huffs out in frustration at his non-answer.
"So does that mean we will always have this divide between us that you created? That I have never wanted in the first place? If it is staying up, Malfoy, it is your choice. And if you decide to keep it up, I am not going to fight my way through to try to change things."
Since she had been with them, he had been so different with her. He was similar to how he was in those private moments they had over the years. He acted like the person who left her those notes on her mugs. He had been consistent, well, for the most part.
"I do not want a divide between us, Granger. That is the last fucking thing I want."
"Then why?" She throws her hands up in the air as she feels that fire come to the surface.
"Why are you making one? I feel like there is so much you don't tell me, that you keep me in the dark. I feel like you do that with everyone, thinking it is easier to always do it alone, to always be alone, to never trust anyone. But you can trust me, Malfoy! I want to know you. I have always wanted to be your friend. From the very damn beginning. You were the one to make us frenemies."
"Frenemies?" He leans forward and smirks at her secret description she always labeled their relationship.
"Don't try to change the subject. I'm pissed at you."
"Oh, I understand that, and please feel free to continue to be pissed. But frenemies? I like it. A very accurate description. When did you come up with that?"
He gives her one of her favorite smirks, and she feels her resolve faltering.
"A secret for a secret, Malfoy?"
He likes to play games with her. They always played games with each other. All those little banters and matches where that fire that only came alive for him would take over her. Maybe she could get something out of him if she made it a game.
"Deal. Ladies first."
She rolls her eyes and bends her legs underneath her, sitting on her knees.
"I came up with it after The Quidditch World Cup. Out in the woods. When you, in your very Malfoy way, told Ron and Harry they were after people like me and told them I needed to leave. I remember being pissed but grateful and thinking how I could feel that way. And the phrase popped into my head, and it is the label that stuck to you ever since."
He smiles up at her, and she sees how much he is enjoying this little story, much more than the memory of how they first met. "So you understood that it was a warning?"
She nods her head. "Of course I did. I knew you were trying to convince them to take me away and protect me. In your own very crude way, of course."
She smiles at him, reaches out, and jabs his shoulder. He makes a show of her pushing him off balance, being the dramatic one as always.
"Now your turn."
She watches his smile falter, and his eyes start working across her face. She knows he has a lot of secrets. Which one would he tell her?
If he tells me something like his favorite color is green, I seriously may punch him again.
"My favorite color..."
She starts forward as soon as the words begin to leave his mouth, but he quickly grabs both of her arms and pivots her down to the ground. He presses half of his body on top of her to keep her from fighting.
"I'm joking, Granger. I knew you thought I would give you some half-arse answer." He chuckles so close to her face she feels the little breaths against her lips and cheeks, and she feels the fire begin to smolder.
She sticks her tongue out at him, and he laughs, still holding her arms down at her sides.
"So a secret, what kind of secret do you want to know?"
"Something no one else does."
She doesn't have to think about it. She knows what kind of information she wants. He stares above her head, contemplating for a few minutes.
"Moaning Myrtle and I were friends."
She feels her eyes widen at his confession. That was not what she was expecting at all. "What?"
He smiles down at her shock and nods his head. "She annoyed the shit out of me at first. Actually looked up a few ways to get rid of her entirely at the beginning, but I spent a lot of time alone in lavatories 6th year, and while her voice was shrilling, to say the least, she was actually quite funny and a good listener."
He pauses and looks over to his Dark Mark.
"She was the first person I showed this to."
Well, that definitely was a secret. One that held a lot of information in it, actually. Her chest feels a little lighter at the realization that he hadn't been entirely alone during year 6. He had at least one hidden friend he talked to, who he was honest with. Even if that friend was a teenage ghost who didn't like her very much.
"That... That's really sweet, Malfoy. Thank you for sharing. I promise your secret is safe with me."
It makes her insides feel all sorts of ways to know that she holds information on the man above her that no one else knew. It makes that fire go lower as well.
He smirks at her. "Nothing is safe with you until your occlumency gets better. You should practice today, between sleeping."
He raises his body off of hers, and she shakes her head in agreement.
He reaches forward, takes her hair into one hand, and holds it up so the sweat from her nightmare can cool on her neck and upper back. Something he had been doing for her every morning he was with her.
"Do you want another one of my t-shirts?"
She shakes her head.
"No, the sun is about to rise anyways. I think I am going to stay up. When do you have to leave?"
He looks over to the larger-than-life, and intricately designed, grandfather clock in the corner of the room.
"Soon. I should probably get up as well. Theo will be back before I leave. You should get some more rest today. You haven't slept well in over a week."
He was right. She had been feeling worn out and tired the last two days, and she knew today would be even worse if she didn't get some rest. It wasn't just the nightmares keeping her up. Malfoy had been gone about half of the time the past 8 days, ever since The Order attacked a group of Death Eaters in France. He had meetings, commissions to follow up on, and relationships to build. Theo also was gone, but they always tried to make sure at least one of them was home at night. The one night neither of them could be there, they sent Pansy to stay with her. She didn't get any sleep, but she did have a whole new wardrobe that included proper fitting undergarments, some much too intimate for her needs, thanks to Pansy.
She watches as he gets up and runs his hands through his disheveled bedhead. Unlike Theo and her, Malfoy looked great first thing in the morning. No, great wasn't the right word. He looked like a model. His eyes and facial expressions were always softer in the mornings, too, in a way she had never seen before.
She knows she is ogling, but with the room dark, she lets herself indulge. His chest is littered with scars from the curse from 6th year, along with others she is sure are from either his aunt, or the Dark Lord himself.
But the scars didn't take away from his beauty. No, it was like they enhanced it. Made it more of a painting rather than just a canvas. His body had a story, a horrible story, but breathtaking nonetheless.
His sweatpants are hanging dangerously low. What is holding them up is beyond her. She notices his very light, thin strip of blonde hair traveling from his navel and disappearing underneath the waistband of his pants. Right down to the outline of a larger than normal...
"Granger?"
She blinks and looks back up at his face.
"Yeah?"
"I asked if you wanted a cup of tea."
He turns to give her a puzzling look.
"Oh uhm, sorry, yes, yes please, that would be great."
He nods his head and walks out of the room, and Hermione hits herself square in the face.
Pull yourself together, Granger.
You shouldn't want this... him after what you have been through.
It's just the trauma talking.
That's what Theo's book says at least.
But I was attracted to Malfoy before...
Nope don't open that can of worms, Hermione.
She shakes her head slightly and lets out a frustrated grunt as she starts to stand up. She freezes as she feels a slickness in between her legs she hadn't felt in a very long time.
For Merlin's sake, Granger!
She runs into the closet and changes quickly for the day. She places the shorts and knickers underneath the other dirty clothes in the closet to hide the evidence of what he did to her.
"Hermione, you in here?"
She looks out the door and sees Theo walking in, looking as exhausted as she feels.
"Hi. How did your night go?"
"Uneventful, thankfully."
He lets out a huge yawn as Malfoy walks in behind him with her mug of tea and his Death Eater robes.
"I have to get going. I should be back before tonight as long as nothing happens. I will try to let you know if things change."
She takes the tea from his hands and stares down, watching the floating bubbles stuck to the side of the mug slowly disappear. She can't look up. She would start crying if she did. She hated when they left.
"I hate this."
"Me too."
"I hate this war."
"Me too."
"I hate when you're gone."
"Me fucking too, Granger."
She smiles at the tea as he repeats the same line he always did. She looks up as he pulls on his robes and starts walking towards the floo.
"Stay alive, Malfoy."
He gives her a smirk, and then he is gone.
She stares at the fireplace for a few moments until Theo lets out another loud moan-like yawn.
"Hermione, you look like shit."
"Well, nice to see you too, Theo."
He walks over and glances at the contents of her mug, wanting it to be what he called burnt chocolate (she would never correct him), and grimacing at the sight of tea.
"So here's the plan today. You and I are going to reorganize my whole library. I researched a better system and want to give it a try. Then, once we are done with that, we will discover the way to defeat the Dark Lord and take care of him hopefully by lunch. Then we will come back, and I will teach you how to finally hold a fucking stick right. Maybe we will throw in solving world hunger if we have the time before dinner. What do you think?"
With the last words, he swings off his robes and elbows her in the side.
"So we are napping all day?"
He looks over at her and smiles widely. "Abso-fucking-lutely we are napping all day! I'll resize the tent so we can sleep in there. I call the loft."
He waves his wand and grows the tent back to its original size.
"Okay, I'll go make us some burnt chocolate and grab a muffin."
"Ugh, have I told you I loved you today? Because bloody hell I do! Having a girl around is really way better than just two blokes. I am hopping in the shower, and I am using yours because technically, it is mine."
She rolls her eyes at him and makes her way through the tent and into the kitchen.
She places the pot on the stove and turns it on as she pours in the mixture she made in bulk after finding out Theo could drink two gallons a day. She grabs two blueberry muffins from the fridge and puts them on a tray as she takes another sip of the tea Malfoy made her. He always made her tea perfectly, but she doesn't remember ever telling him how she liked it. She puts the red mug and Theo's old-lady-porcelain teacup, he swore made what he was drinking taste better, next to the plate and pours in the liquid.
As she enters the room and places the tray on the only available surface that the tent does not take up in the room, she notices Theo is still in the shower.
And the door is open due to the massive tent that takes up the whole room.
And she can see he is facing away from her by the outline of his body through the glass-paned door.
And an idea hits her.
"Okay, Theo, time to make it even."
She gets down on her hands and knees, crawling through the tent to the entrance that opens to the bathroom.
She stays down as she makes her way to the shower door, trying not to make a sound to alert him she is present. He is mumbling something; it sounds like the ingredients to a potion.
She slowly stands up and places her hand on the handle of the bathroom door, and quietly, slides it open.
He doesn't notice.
Payback time Theo...
She moves forward, pokes her head through the door, and gets the full view she had been trying to get ever since the 'Night of the Naked Granger' as Theo had started to call it.
He has a cute little bum. Somehow it is the same shade as the rest of his skin. It is hairless, which was a disappointment because she was really hoping to make the 37 hairy arse jokes she had been forming over the past couple of days. He does have a little mole on his left buttcheek close to the side. And he has what she believes people call back dimples.
Damn it, he does have a good arse...
It honestly might be better than mine.
She looks it over one last time to ensure she isn't missing some hideous detail she could use and abuse later.
"Well, I have to say, Theo, you do have a nice arse."
Before he can turn around and she sees more than she ever wants to, she shuts the door and dives into the entrance of the tent, afraid he may come after her completely naked.
"You voyeuristic evil witch!"
She scurries through the tent until she is back in her section, and pulls her knees up to her chest as she laughs. She keeps her knees up to her chest until she hears the water shut off. She looks over at the sheet barely hanging on to the string that Malfoy used to separate their two sections, and starts tucking it back in, leaving a couple inches open that would allow her to see him throughout the night when she wakes up.
"Told you I have a nice arse."
She turns and sees Theo crawling in with a towel aggressively rubbing at his hair.
She gives him a questioning look.
"Mhhhmm I think mine is better. Maybe we should both show Malfoy and let him decide."
Theo barks out a laugh as he throws the towel back through the entrance into the bathroom. "Oh yeah, that's fair. Like he would choose any arse over yours."
Her smile falters for a second, but he shoves a muffin into her face before her mind gets away with her.
"So, no news?"
She looks over as he drinks basically the whole glass of burnt chocolate due to the ridiculous small size of the teacup, and takes a bite of the muffin.
"Moooffing." He swallows. "I meant nothing. Not even any gossip. I don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. When you disappeared, there wasn't a peep for weeks, and even once the gossip did begin, it was shit and few and far between. We were going off of Draco's assumptions for probably two months."
She takes a sip of tea as his words hit her. "Wait, what do you mean?"
Theo freezes with the muffin half in his mouth, and squeezes his eyes shut.
"Hermione, can you please fight your nature on this one and let it go? Trust me, I am sure he will tell you someday, but it is for him to tell, not me."
"Who, Malfoy?"
Theo nods and stares at the space between them, waiting for her to launch all of her questions his way. But she doesn't. They let things go. Neither of them dig when it is obvious she is uncomfortable, so the least she can do is return the favor.
Plus, she trusts them. They will tell her when the time is right.
She nods her head and takes another sip of her tea. His shoulders relax, and he downs the rest of his drink in one gulp.
"Thank Merlin. Listen, I am passing out, and it looks like you need sleep as well. I have to go again tonight, but Draco should be back at some point today. I believe he just has a few meetings. If he doesn't, we'll have Pansy come stay."
Hermione agrees and sets their cups on the tray.
"Did you have another nightmare last night?" Theo asks as he moves over to the loft.
"Yeah."
"Tooth again?"
"Yeah."
Theo rummages in the loft and pulls out a vial.
"I'm not going to make you take this, but I really think you should, Hermione. I understand your hesitation to rely on potions and all, but giving yourself a break every few days is not relying. And you need sleep to prove to the blonde bastard you are strong enough at occlumency, so we can tell you all our dirty little secrets, okay?"
He was right. She had been practicing her occluding basically 24/7 when they weren't around, but she had found her walls easily breakable recently. Malfoy was being ridiculous as usual, and not pushing her very hard, which was infuriating.
I asked you not to act like I'm broken, Malfoy.
She takes the potion from his hand, takes off the cap, and swallows.
"Okay great, well, like I said, I'm crashing. Sweet dreams, Hermione! Oh no, wait, no dreams, Hermione."
He jumps up into the loft as he laughs at his own horrible joke.
She moves to get comfortable, grabbing the pillow Malfoy always uses, and switches it with her own.
It smells like him.
That's the trauma talking.
Shut up, bitch.
She presses her face into his pillow and breathes him in. She loves the way he smells. She doesn't remember when exactly he started to smell like that.
She noticed it during one of the trips to Hogsmeade. He had reached around her to grab the last chocolate frog she was planning to buy. Hermione turned, finding his face inches from her own, and she remembers being overwhelmed with his natural scent.
Whenever it was, she already looked up at him, and his classic smirk was plastered across his face.
"Gotta be quicker than that, Granger."
He walked away already eating half of the sweet.
She thinks maybe............
What happened?
Where am I?
She feels a breeze of cool air against her ear.
She opens her eyes, sees the many mismatched patterns of the tent, and takes a deep breath in. She always felt disoriented after taking a dreamless sleep.
She feels that breeze on her ear again.
It is coming from behind her.
Hermione turns her head slowly and is met with his lips. They are inches from her face. She sees the sheet is still up, but now, it is pushed farther down. Giving her the ability to see his entire face and shoulders.
She notices his hand laying underneath the sheet in her section, with the tip of his index finger grazing her back. She leans into his hand, and it twitches, resting more against her back. He twitches again at something, and his fingers twist the fabric of her blouse.
She turns more, wanting to ensure he doesn't have any injuries or marks on him that might give an idea of how today went. It was starting to get dark, and she doesn't hear Theo rambling in his sleep, so he must have left.
As she tries to turn, his hand doesn't let go of her shirt. The movement must have registered to him as his eyes flutter open a few times before squinting at her. She watches as they begin to take in the space around him.
"Hey." He says.
"Hi, glad you're still alive, Malfoy."
He gives her a soft, sleepy smile before rolling over onto his back and pressing his palms into his eyes.
She looks him over. He had already taken his shirt off again, back in a very similar outfit like this morning. There are no marks, bruises, or cuts on any part she can see, and she lets out the breath she had been holding.
"It stayed a day full of pointless meetings, with pointless people, spouting out pointless ideas."
"Sounds miserable."
He stretches his arms above him and lets out a yawn. "It could have been worse."
He turns his head and looks her over. "Theo said you solved world hunger today, so I am guessing you slept."
She smiles and nods her head, pulling the curtain farther down to talk to him.
"Yeah, I took a potion."
"Good, you needed one. Are you still tired?"
"Yeah, are you?"
"Always."
"Did you hear anything more about what happened or what's going on?"
He shakes his head and rubs the side of his face. "No. They are securing facilities, and strongholds at this point, but the genocide has slowed down, so that's good."
She chews on her bottom lip as she takes in the information. The Order had done nothing else within the last two weeks. And no one within the Death Eater forces were talking about what exactly happened. Not even Pansy knew, and she had lost her father in the raid. Not that she cared.
"What did you do today other than sleep?"
"I saw Theo's arse."
She sees his body tense next to her.
Is that a six pack?
"Oh?"
She rolls over to lay on her stomach with her arms crossed underneath. "I thought you'd prefer to hear it from me, so he doesn't spring it on you and get you all murdery."
"Murdery?"
"Yes, murdery. It may not be an actual word, but it correctly explains what happens to your face."
He doesn't say anything for a few moments as he stares up at the blanket ceiling. "So, you saw Theo's arse."
"Yes, unfortunately, he does have a nice bum. No hair at all to my disappointment. But now we are even. I still think mine is better than his. I told him we should have you judge, but..."
"Yours is better." She tries to hold back the smile that takes over her face, but she can't. He looks over at her and smirks. "You get off on being the best don't you?"
Why yes, yes I do, Malfoy.
"I don't know what you are talking about. And how can you say mine is better when you haven't even seen it?"
"Because the other option is attached to Theo."
She lets out a laugh at that. He is so quick with his comebacks. He was definitely better at them than she was. She would never admit it, but she always struggled to keep up with his cleverness when they started going at it.
"And how did you happen to see Theo's arse? Because I know he talks a lot, but I also know the bastard would never show it to you on his own."
"He was getting a shower and left the door open."
Malfoy's eyes dart over to her with a look of surprise she doesn't understand. "The shower?"
"Yeah."
"So you saw more than just his arse."
She rolls her eyes. "No, I didn't, nor do I have any desire to. He was facing the other way, mumbling some list, and I ran before he turned around."
"A list..."
"Yeah."
She is confused at the change in him within the last few seconds. It looks like he is battling two different kinds of reactions to give her.
"Was it by any chance ingredients for a potion?" He asks.
She pulls her eyebrows together as he becomes more amused.
"Yes... why do you know that, and why does it matter?"
His smirk begins to grow. "I don't know if I should tell you."
"Tell me."
"You're going to regret it, Granger. There is such a thing as too much information."
"I have never disagreed with a sentence more."
He lets out a laugh and sits up, pushing his upper body back against the settee. "He was wanking off, Granger. You interrupted the guy wanking off."
It takes a minute for the words to sink in.
He was wank... oh my gods...
And then, she is completely mortified. She feels her cheeks begin to burn, and she quickly hides her face in the crook of her arm at the realization of what she had done.
Malfoy begins to laugh. A real laugh. A laugh she hasn't heard since school, when Ron received a Howler from his mother during one of their meals. She looks up to watch his display as one hand rests on his stomach. The muscles keep contracting with his gasps of air, making his abs flex and then unflex. His other hand is flat on the ground, inches away from her head, holding himself up as he continues to laugh.
I'd walk in on Theo again if it made you laugh like this.
She can't help it as a large smile and a giggle start escaping her lips. "You have to be wrong! He didn't say anything to me when he..."
"Of course he didn't. It's Theo."
"How do you know he was doing... well that?... just because he was listing..."
"Because he always lists potion ingredients to try to make it last longer. Trust me, Granger. I have lived with the bloke most of my life. I know his wanking off habits."
She gives him a disgusted look and rolls over onto her back, holding her hands over her face and groaning loudly. He continues to laugh.
"But he was in the shower!"
"Your point?"
"Blokes do that in the shower?"
His laughter starts to dissipate, and his face turns from a joy filled smile, to an amused smirk again.
"Yes, Granger. We do it anywhere we are alone with our dicks."
"I would think the water would be annoying and distracting."
"You really want to have a conversation about our masturbation preferences?"
Damn it, he is right.
You should not want to have this conversation.
That is passing a boundary for sure.
She does have a lot of questions, though. Masturbation never agreed with her. She wasn't capable of doing it. All the girls in the dorms would talk about the act, and the toys they used to help them get there.
Hermione tried quite a few times, but found she could never get her mind to stop, so she gave up on that escapade years ago.
She lets out a sigh, drops the hands from her face, and starts playing with her shirt hem as her mind continues to go. "I guess not."
She looks over as he moves to prop himself up on one elbow. "I have no problems with sharing if you don't."
"What do you mean?"
The corner of his mouth raises, and she watches as his eyes travel down her body. He can't see much. His t-shirts are basically dresses on her. "I mean, do you not enjoy taking care of yourself in the shower?"
Her eyes widen and turn away from his.
Did he just ask me...
Yes, yes he did.
That fire he always lit in her belly falls a bit lower as she processes his words. She stares at the blanket above her, deciding how she should respond. A part of her wants to snap at his crassness, while the other wants to play along a bit longer. Maybe if she does, she could get some answers to her questions without seeming too interested.
"I don't take care of myself. Doesn't work for me."
His face changes. "What do you mean?"
She shrugs her shoulders as she continues to stare up and play with her shirt. She never talked about this type of intimate information with anyone. Not even Ginny, who seemed to be the masturbation master from the way she talked.
"I mean, I can't do it. Never have been able to. My mind doesn't shut off, I guess." He doesn't respond for a long time, so she continues. "I am guessing you do though?"
"Yes."
"Do you do it a lot?"
"No, not compared to some blokes, but I have recently."
She doesn't have time for his last words to sink in as a thought takes over, and she looks at him debating on asking or not.
You are playing with fire here, Granger. Don't do it.
"Have you... while I was right... in the same room?"
He starts to smirk at her again. "Do you really want the answer to that question?"
She slaps her hands onto the floor. "Yes Malfoy! If I ask a question, I want the answer."
"Then yes. Yes, I have."
Huh, that is interesting.
I should be upset, shouldn't I?
Hermione would be upset.
Granger though...
"I see." She doesn't say it with any emotion due to the internal battle taking place.
He slides back down, but turns his body towards her, bringing him closer. The sheet is still up, and she can only see about a quarter of the way down his bicep before the rest of him disappears behind the sheet.
"When was the last time you tried, Granger?"
They shouldn't be having this conversation. They really shouldn't. They have been skirting the invisible line for days now. If they kept it up, one of them was bound to jump over it.
But the risk... well the risk, and the give, and the pull, and the temptation... They make her feel great, weightless for just a short bit of time. She found she was becoming addicted to it.
"Uhm, maybe a little over a year ago? I tried often for some time. Researched and studied the best practices, talked and listened to others who were successful. I tried everything they told me, but this," she points to the side of her head and meets his eyes that are still swimming in the silver that appeared last week. "It doesn't shut off for me."
They both go silent again, and she looks back up at the ceiling, believing the conversation to be over.
"Close your eyes, Granger."
She turns her head over and gives him a questioning look. He is staring at her with that intensity she likes so much. It drug her in, and consumed her when he looked at her like that.
"What?"
"I said close your eyes."
Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the potion still making her disoriented. Maybe it was an assortment of other things she can't name at the moment that makes her listen to him. It most certainly cannot be his demanding tone and authority making her respond the way she is. Absolutely not.
She closes her eyes as the fire he sparked earlier begins to twist.
"I can get that big brain of yours to shut off if you want. Do you want that, Granger?"
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Wait, what? No, Hermione Jean Granger, you do not!
Stop this insanity right now.
"Yes."
Oh bloody hell, we are doomed...
She feels him stir next to her, but keeps her eyes shut like he instructed.
His cool breath travels across the side of her face where goosebumps begin to appear.
"You are going to listen to every word I say."
She nods her head to show she has heard him.
His hand wraps around her own, and he brings it up to her breast.
"Touch yourself."
What the?
Was he... oh my gods...
Her hand presses down and starts kneading her breast. She feels as her nipple hardens and responds to the touch. Her breasts have always been very sensitive. Her breath hitches as she continues to press and circle her hand against herself.
"That's it, Granger. Now, place your nipple in between your fingers. Imagine other fingers. Fingers you want touching you. Fingers that start pulling and twisting."
She moves her hand and starts twirling the hardened tip in between her fingers, and she feels as the sensation travels down to her lower abdomen, and a small noise she should be mortified of escapes between her lips.
She feels his cool skin against her other wrist as he takes her other hand and places it on her lower abdomen.
"Touch yourself."
She responds immediately, letting her hand travel under the waistband of her shorts and in between her legs. She already knows she is wet just from his voice, the things he was saying, and the things she was doing to herself. She lets her fingers slide between her folds and into her warm wet center.
"Do you want me to tell you what to do with your fingers?"
"Yes... yes please."
She should want to curl up and disappear at the ridiculous sound of the voice leaving her. But his words are making all those thoughts, all those inhibitions, self-doubt, and self consciousness disappear.
"I like it when you beg, Granger. Do it again. What do you want me to do?"
One hand is still working her breast, kneading it harder as she starts to do the few things she knows how with her other hand between her legs.
"Please, please, Malfoy. Tell me what to do with my fingers. Please."
"Are you wet, Granger?"
She nods her head vigorously as the fire in her continues to build and her breath becomes more shallow.
"Good girl."
Oh my gods...
She feels the fluid between her legs increase immediately. Her body is responding to his voice in a way it never has before. The things he is saying, and the way he is saying them... Maybe she was wrong earlier when she told him 'the way he said things was ugly.' Because right now, she is loving it. Living for every single sound that comes from his mouth, and the unspeakable things he is telling her to do. No one has ever talked to her like this before.
It is hot.
Merlin, it is hot.
"Take two of your fingers and start circling around your clit."
She does as he instructs, and her breathing quickly turns into little whimpers and moans continuously leaving her mouth.
"So responsive... listen to yourself, Granger. Listen to how you moan and writhe as those fingers work around your clit. Is it soaked with you?"
She nods her head again. It seems she can't make her lips move into anything beyond the noises that keep slipping out.
"Pinch it."
She takes her two fingers, places them on her sensitive area, and pulls up.
"Oh my gods!" The words leave her as she feels that warmth build to a sensation she has never been able to bring upon herself before. It is low, and all consuming, and she needs it to explode. She needs to release it.
"Fuck Granger, that's it. Now... now press down right on that wet clit of yours, and circle again."
She takes her middle finger and presses down on her center, circling in the way she had earlier, but now, directly on the nerves. The fire travels to her upper legs.
"That's it. That's it. Merlin, you look beautiful touching yourself. Writhing on those fingers of yours. I could watch this all day. I could watch those fuckable tits bouncing, and that mouth of yours moaning, and that hand of yours spreading yourself all day. All day, Granger."
His praise is doing something to her. She loves it. He had been right earlier about getting off to being the best. She feels a smile form on her face, and that pressure seems to reach a wall. It is right there. Right there.
"I'm close... I'm... keep talking."
She increases the pressure and speed of the finger on her core. Not picturing her finger anymore.
"You like to hear me talk like this, don't you? Then let me see you come, Granger. I want to hear those pretty little noises, and watch as your body arches, and your toes curl. I want to watch as you soak the floor underneath you. I need to know what that looks like."
As he is talking, she feels the pressure push past that wall and consume her.
It explodes in her abdomen, but doesn't stay there. The sensation travels through her whole body, making every single one of her muscles respond and contract at the pure bliss of the moment.
"Oh! Oh, yes yes..."
Her back leaves the floor as she turns her head to the side, and she lets out a series of moans that turn into a scream as her hand squeezes her breast to the point of pain. She feels amazing as she crests the top of her orgasm and then starts to come down. She feels her hands shaking, and her breath continues to come in shallow bursts.
"Fuck." Draco lets out a grunt as the curse leaves him. They sound forced. Like he was in pain. Like he was...
Is he?
Did he?
She looks over to him. His eyes are now closed shut, with one hand holding his head, and the other down past the sheet. The sheet still covers his lower body, but as she watches his face become sharper, and his breath hitch, she knows her suspicions are correct.
You masturbated in front of Malfoy.
He masturbated in front of you.
You both came in front of each other.
You... You just destroyed that line.
She turns away, moving her hands off of her breasts and out of her shorts. Her hand is soaked, and so are her inner thighs.
"Granger, you okay?"
She keeps her eyes shut. How was she supposed to look at him after what they just did? Should she pretend it never happened? Should they have a discussion about it? Maybe they should tell Theo, or maybe not, that sounded like a horrible idea. They definitely shouldn't be sleeping next to each other anymore. She orgasmed in front of him. He told her how. That... that was her first orgasm she wanted to happen.
"Granger, do you need me to shut off that brain of yours again to get an answer from you?"
"I... I'm okay. Are you?"
She is not okay. That felt... That had been... Malfoy was right. It was different. The actual orgasm honestly felt the same, but the build up was a completely different experience. She had made it happen. She had wanted it to happen. She wasn't fighting against her body, hating herself as it happened; wanting to disappear as her body betrayed her. She had done it, and she has never felt more in control, more able, more... dare she think it, hopeful.
She feels a smile take over her whole face.
"Yeah, now that you're smiling. How do you feel?"
"Powerful." The word leaves her before she has time to really think of a proper response. But she does. She can make her own body feel so much better than it ever had. Dolohov didn't own that ability like he tried to convince her. He wasn't the sole holder of her history with coming anymore.
Take that, fucker.
"You are."
Her smile grows at his agreement. She hears him shrinking the tent around them, and moving to stand.
"Granger."
She opens her eyes to him standing with a smile she has never seen before. It looks endearing. Like this moment was special to him too.
He holds out his hand to help her up, and she takes it. It isn't until she is up that she realizes she placed the hand she had used to masturbate with, still wet from her ministrations, into his. As it hits her, she yanks her hand out of his, noticing the shine left behind on his palm and fingers.
"Oh my gods! I, I, I am so sorry, Malfoy! Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my..."
"Granger, relax. It's fine."
She expects him to wipe it off against his joggers. That's what she would do, but he keeps the hand, glistening with her fluid, away from him. Like he doesn't want it even touching his clothing. She doesn't blame him.
This beats the: turning-yourself-into-a-cat moment for the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you.
And of course, Malfoy is here witnessing it all.
"I'm going to grab a shower in the hallway, so you can use this one. Are you up for another lesson afterwards?"
She jerks her head up..
He wants to teach me... again?
But I think I know now, and we just did it.
And...
He lets out an amused noise. "Granger, I am talking about occlumency."
Hermione blinks and shakes her head. "Oh, okay yeah. Yes."
He gives one of her favorite smirks before turning and walking away, never letting his hand touch his clothing. He must want to wash it off in the bathroom. She should do the same.
She runs into the bathroom, going straight to the sink to wash off her hands. She takes a long time in the shower, enjoying the warm water on her body. Dolohov had only used cold water on her. Even though he had hot water. And he never let her take a shower. A couple of times he forced her to clean him off while he got one, but those were the only times she was allowed.
As she steps out, she hears the floo pop. Theo wasn't supposed to be coming back tonight. And Blaise and the other Slytherins weren't expected. She ties the cord around her robe, and opens the door to a Theo she has never seen before, gesturing wildly at a freshly showered Malfoy.
"They expect you in a few hours! A few hours, Draco! And the things he said they did to her... What, what are we going to do? How do we..."
Theo's crazed eyes finally notice her. He looks like he is about to lose it. His eyes are wide, and his skin is pale as his arms and limbs start to shake with the nerves coursing through his body.
"Theo, what's..."
She cuts off her words as he falls on the ground, pulling his legs up to his chest, and closing his eyes.
"1...2,3......4.....5..6,7."
She stares at him as he continues to count out loud, not understanding what is happening or what to do.
"Granger."
She moves towards Theo on the ground as she looks up at Malfoy, seeing a similar look of fear and utter desperation.
"What's going on?"
She bends down and rests her hands on Theo's shoulders, massaging them as he continues to count and rock back and forth on the floor.
"It's the last day of the month."
Her hands freeze on Theo's shoulders.
Nononononononono!
How had she forgotten? How had they never talked about this? How had they not prepared for this? What... How... She... she doesn't know how to solve this problem.
"I need you to tell me what happens, Granger. I know before you didn't want to talk about it, but I need to know."
She falls onto the floor next to Theo who is up to number 122. Malfoy appears before them with a Draught of Peace, giving one to Theo before pouring one into her mouth, and then his own.
They need to know. Merlin, how are they going to get out of this?
"He would have Master rape me. He would watch. He would say things in a way that made it obvious he was talking to The Order as Master did what he wanted to me. After he was done, they would put the memory in a vial. They... They are going to want you to do the same."
She looks up and meets his eyes. The silver is gone again. But they don't look dead, they look in pain. She has never seen his eyes look this way.
"No."
"Draco, that's what I heard too! They send The Order memories of him taking advantage of her, of the whole fucking act. And after what happened last week, Carrow said they have big plans for the memory exchange tonight. They are going to want you to..."
"No."
"Draco, mate, if you don't, someone else will. He will probably let Dolohov, or Carrow, or both for Merlin's sake or..."
"No! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!"
Malfoy begins to fall apart. He grabs his hair with his hands, and he starts pulling and shaking his head vigorously. He falls to the ground in front of them, continuing to yell, scream, and curse as he starts to pound his hands into the side of his head.
She reaches over and tries to grab his wrists to stop his assault on himself.
"Malfoy, Malfoy! Calm down, please calm down."
She grasps his wrists and tries to pull them down as he continues to shake his head back and forth.
"Not this... I can... anything but this..." He groans out.
Once his hands are away from his face, she moves into his lap and wraps her arms around his shaking shoulders. He doesn't hold onto her though. His arms stay out, open in defeat.
She presses her face into his shoulder and feels the tears streaming down her face. "It's okay. It'll be okay, Malfoy."
"How do we get out of this?" The question comes from Theo behind her.
"How long?" She asks him.
"He said 2 hours, but that was probably a half-hour ago."
Damn it. They couldn't implant false memories into all the people who were usually present. There is no excuse the evil wizard would accept for disobeying direct orders. She... she doesn't have any ideas.
"I don't think we can. There isn't enough time, and the time I do have, I need to occlude. I need to build walls that hopefully will stand against him. He usually does a quick sweep before... before the spectacle. I have to get ready."
Theo sits in front of her. "But what do we do about, about..."
"Nothing. We just have to do it."
Theo starts shaking his head, and Malfoy's body starts to twitch harder in her arms.
"Granger, I can't."
She feels the words against her neck and pulls away to look at him.
She cups his face to make him look at her. "It's okay, Malfoy, I promise you. I'll be okay. It'll be different than..."
"No! I have, and can do a lot of things, Granger. But I... I can't... rape you. I can't, I can't..."
"It won't be rape, Malfoy. Don't think of it like that. I want it to be you. I would rather it be you than..."
"It is rape!" He yells.
She holds firm to the sides of his head as he tries to jerk away.
"No it is not! It is survival, Malfoy! We have to! You have to or he will have Master do it. If you hesitate, Master will jump at the..."
Malfoy pushes her out of his lap, and stands up looking furious. "Stop fucking calling him that! And stop fucking saying it isn't rape. It is, Granger. You are asking me to rape you!"
She starts to cry harder, and she has to look away from his anger. She doesn't want this. She doesn't want to have to ask him to do this, to become this for her. But if he doesn't, Master will... and that... that was so much worse.
"Draco, do you want to watch Dolohov do it to her!? Because shit, that is the other option. Either you do it, or he does. Those are our choices. That is the reality we have been given." Theo says.
She continues to sob into her hands as Theo stands up and walks in front of her.
"I can give you a performance potion, and maybe give her a lust one if you want, Hermione. It could make it easier for both of you. And maybe the Dark Lord would allow her to take it. To send a memory of her being drugged, and having... that done to her. Maybe to change it up..."
She hears loud steps and a door slam so hard, she is convinced he must have broken it.
"Shit... Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Theo sits down next to her, and he starts to rub her back. "Hermione, I am so sorry. I..."
"We have to convince him to do it. We have to. I can't, I can't have Mas... Dolohov touch me again. I can't, Theo. I..."
"I know, I know, Hermione, but we are asking him to do something that... that might destroy him."
She knows that. She knows she is being selfish by asking him to put her well being before his own. To ask him to destroy himself to save her.
Hermione wipes at her face. "It wouldn't be rape. I would never look at him as someone who..."
"But he would look at himself like that."
She opens her eyes as he starts to stand. His gaze is fixed on the closed door.
"I need to go to him. I think it's best if you stay here. You were right earlier, you need to work on occluding."
She really does. She knows that, but she also knows Malfoy was not okay.
Like he knows what she is thinking, Theo shakes his head. "You can't be the one to talk him down from this, trust me. Are you okay, though? I don't want to..."
"Go, Theo. Help him, please. And if he can't do it then... then that's okay. I understand. Tell him I understand, please?"
Theo's eyes travel between her own before giving her a slight nod. "I'm so sorry, Hermione."
He leaves the room without saying anything else. She sits on the floor curled up for too long. She needs to put this behind her. She needs to work on what she can control. What she can do, and change, and solve.
You survived this for six months. You can survive one more training session with him, Hermione Jean Granger. But if you don't control your mind, you're not going to survive the night.
She wipes her face clean before sitting up and determining herself to occlude. She closes her eyes and cracks her neck as she tries to control her breathing. She has to protect them. She has to protect herself. Everything good and happy needs to be hidden on the shelf.
Hermione continues to work on the other memories from the last few weeks, hoarding and sectioning them off. She pulls forward the moments of fear, switches, and hard times, but occludes the sweet moments of both men comforting and helping her.
She does this for what feels like hours before a tap on her shoulder brings her back. Theo has his wand pointed towards her as he averts his eyes.
"So, not to make all this even shittier, but I need to cast some spells on you to make it look like... Like we haven't been treating you very well."
She knows what he means. She looks healthy, and she couldn't go in front of the Dark Lord tonight looking like she was okay. She nods her head and Theo raises his wand, reciting charm after charm. She doesn't feel anything happening.
"They are like backwards disillusionment charms. Instead of making things disappear, it makes things appear."
Before she can respond, Malfoy walks into the room and their eyes meet. He looks over her face quickly and then, back down to the floor.
"It isn't real, mate, I promise."
"It looks fucking real."
"Well, that's the point. It'll last around 6 hours, so long enough for what we need." Theo stands up and looks between the two of them. "I'm going to give you two a minute. I'll be back when we need to leave."
She looks up at Malfoy as Theo shuts the door. He still won't meet her eyes. He still looks defeated, devastated, and ill. She never thought he could look worse than during 6th year, but right now, he does.
She wants him to speak first, but she knows he won't.
"Malfoy, no matter what you decided. It's okay. I understand. I shouldn't have asked you to do that. It isn't fair for me to ask you something like that, and..."
"I'm doing it."
Her breath catches in her throat.
He still won't look at her. She can't help but feel relieved. It will be so much easier for her with it being him. It will be so much easier having someone do it that she knows doesn't want to. Who she knows cares for her.
"Are... Are you sure?"
He nods his head quickly. She watches as he closes his eyes for a long moment. When he opens them, all emotion is gone. His face is blank, hard, cold. He occluded. Occluded all this away.
"Thank you, Malfoy. I..."
"Stop." His harsh word cuts her off. "Don't fucking thank me for agreeing to rape you, Granger. Just stop."
"It's not rape! Please stop calling it that!" She feels the tears in her eyes as her anger takes over. "We have both been raped, Malfoy. We both know what is about to happen is not the same. So, you stop! You stop calling it that right fucking now!"
Theo walks back into the room with their robes in one hand and an assortment of vials in the other. "It's time."
Malfoy grabs the robes out of his hands and pulls them on as he walks over to the floo, waiting for them.
She makes eye contact with Theo and gives him a look, knowing she is about to make this even worse with what she is about to say. "I have to take my clothes off. I can't be wearing these clothes."
Theo's eyes widen at her, and she sees Malfoy tense, but he never turns around.
"Put on one of those nightgowns Parkinson bought you." He bites out.
"But I never..."
"Now, Granger."
She blinks at his anger. She knows he isn't mad at her. She knows that, but his words are hurting her. She quickly changes into one of the black slips Pansy bought for her, noticing the large bruises, scabs, and cuts all over her arms. Now she understands why Malfoy looked away when he entered the room.
She walks out of the closet. Theo places his robes around her as she goes to stand next to Malfoy.
He hands her a potion and she takes it without question, feeling calmer even before he throws the powder into the fireplace, and they disappear.