I just discovered how much I love the Nordic countryhumans so I made a shit ton of quotes
Characters: Finland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Iceland, Estonia, Greenland, Russia
Sweden: hey how about I-
Finland: no
Sweden: but I-
Finland: no
~~~
Estonia: do you think a girl can propose in a relationship??
Iceland: you wanna marry Finland??
Estonia: no I just... I'm asking for a friend
~~~
Finland: no more Star Wars
Norway: why?
Finland: because I'm tired of getting hit in the head with a fucking LIGHTSABER
~~~
Denmark: so was that a no?
Sweden: no
Denmark: so was it a yes?
Sweden: no
~~~
Estonia: ...hi
Finland: hi
Russia, screaming in the background: JUST DATE ALREADY
~~~
Iceland: uwu
Norway: OwO
Sweden: TwT
Denmark: -w-
Finland: what the-
~~~
Finland: for the last time, NO
Sweden: but you keep saying life isn't real so why won't you let me die?
~~~
Norway: *walks into the kitchen*
Finland: *standing in the middle of the kitchen downing a bottle of vodka*
Norway: awh I wanted to blow up the kitchen.
~~~
Estonia: it's ice skating season!
Finland: ok have fun
Estonia: who said I was going alone?
~~~
Sweden: okay bee, Denmark is allergic to bees, so you know what to do
~~~
Norway: merry Christmas!!
Finland: *scowling and drinking a bottle of vodka* don't tell me how to celebrate Christmas!
~~~
Sweden: how would dinosaurs react to the modern world
Denmark: idk eat people probably
Norway: get a reasonable job
Finland: they wouldn't they're extinct
Iceland, in a dinosaur costume: *crying in the corner*
~~~
Russia: ...hey Finland?
Finland: *on the chandelier* what?
Russia: why are you on the chandelier?
Finland: 1 2 3 1 2 3 DRINK
Russia: wha-
Finland: 1 2 3 1 2 3 DRINK
Russia: Fin-
Finland: *rocks on the chandelier* IIII'M GONNA SWINGGGG FROM THE CHANDELIERRRR
~~~
Iceland: *singing quietly to himself* don't stop. Believing.
Sweden: I won't I promise.
Finland: I stopped years ago
~~~
Iceland: I'm Iceland.
Greenland: I know, you've told me I'm not sure how many times
Iceland: ...hi I'm Iceland
~~~
Norway: BREAKING NEWS *rips newspaper in half*
Sweden: interesting...
~~~
Finland: *downs a whole bottle of vodka in one sitting*
Sweden: how are we related?
Finland: well you see-
Sweden: I don't want to hear your reasoning
~~~
Norway: would you kiss your best friend for 50 dollars or your enemy for 100 dollars
Finland: I expect my 150 dollars tomorrow
Norway: ...?
Finland: *walks over to Russia* Rus I need a favor
~~~
Norway: the microwave isn't working-
Iceland: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Norway: so I'll have to use the stove
Iceland: AACEEPTAAABLLEEEEE
~~~
Sweden: *picks up something*
Sweden: wait no I don't need this *sets it back down and takes several steps back*
Sweden:
Object:
Sweden: *runs over to thing and picks it up* I NEED IT
~~~
Norway: what would you like to see in a zoo?
Denmark: I would like to see all the idiots I know in an exhibit then I sit there watching them all try to escape when all they have to do to escape is ask me but they wouldn't because they're idiots. In the exhibit it would play all the most annoying songs so they could suffer even MORE!
Norway: ...I was going to say a cheetah...
~~~
Denmark: hey Estonia how was your honeymoon?
Estonia: Finland got drunk off vodka and tried to destroy our marriage certificate.
Estonia: he said "good luck trying to return me without the recept."
Estonia: I love him
~~~
Norway: if I drink 36 energy drinks, would I be highly sensitive or would I just die?
Sweden:
Denmark:
Sweden and Denmark: Hey Finland-
~~~
Finland: *finished up a bottle of vodka* good. *slams bottle on table* I WANT MORE
Russia: you could've said so-
Finland: AND I DID
~~~
Sweden: hi I'm Timmy and this is my friend Timmy
Norway, in a slightly higher voice: hi I'm Timmy and this is my other friend Timmy
Denmark, in a higher voice: hi I'm Timmy and this is my other friend Timmy
Iceland, in a really high voice: hi I'm Timmy and this is my other friend Bob
Finland, in his usual deep voice: hey I'm bob
~~~
Estonia and Finland: *walking down the street holding hands*
Person: such an ugly couple. The girl is so ugly, he deserves better
Finland: *stops dead in his tracks and turns around* what did you just say?
Person: uhh
Finland: *pulls out a knife* SAY IT TO MY FACE YOU BITCH
~~~
Iceland: what is someone handed you a box of all the things you lost in your life?
Sweden: my childhood innocence! Where have you been?
Finland: my will to life. I haven't seen this since high school.
Norway: I knew I lost my potential somewhere!
Denmark: mental stability! My old friend!
Iceland: could you guys lighten up?
~~~
Denmark: I wouldn't do that
Sweden: yes you would
Denmark: yeah, I would.
Denmark: I would do it at the drop of a hat. I would do it for 3 dollars and a snickers
~~~
[Discussing the IKEA Empire]
Finland: the king is Sweden the Shitty
Sweden: can I just be Sweden?
Denmark: Sweden the Scammer
Sweden: ok or-
Norway: Sweden the wheely wheely legs no feely
Sweden: okay I kinda like that one
~~~
Denmark: how can I fall asleep faster?
Norway: read a book before you sleep. It should relax you
Iceland: get a glass of warm milk
Sweden: just get really tired I mean REALLY tired
Finland: get a knife
Denmark: I-
Finland: stab yourself
Denmark:
Finland: eternal sleep
Denmark: no
~~~
[Context for the next skit: five o clock on Friday is the Nordic drinking time and everyone just gets drunk except Finland (because he's built up an immunity on vodka) so for this next skit everyone's drunk as fuck except Finland]
Sweden: IM PREGNANT
Finland: you're not pregnant
Norway: wait who's pregnant
Sweden: me
Norway: CONGRATULATIONS
Finland: no one's pregnant
Sweden: EASY FINLAND IM WITH CHILD
Iceland: I'm gonna be an uncle!
Finland: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE AN UNCLE
Iceland: Well then who's going to teach the little guy how to ride a bike?
Finland: calm down everyone Sweden isn't pregnant
Sweden: THEN WHY AM I SO MOODY AND NAUSEOUS
Finland: because you're drunk
Everyone: ohhh
Denmark: *kicks Sweden in the back*
Sweden: OW
Finland:
Sweden: I T K I C K E D
Finland: *sharp inhale* foR THE LAST TIME—
~~~
Sweden: okay you're phone's all set up what do you want the password to be
Finland: vodka
Sweden: it can't be that obvious
Finland: it has to be something I remember and I always remember vodka. Unless I drink too much vodka and then I forget everything....
Sweden: what's your girlfriends name?
Finland: woah woah why are we bringing her into this?
Sweden: it has to be something other than vodka. What's your favorite word?
Finland: uhm.. vodka?
Sweden: alright what's your favorite food
Finland: frozen vodka
Sweden: what's your favorite color?
Finland: what color is vodka—
Sweden: *sighs* what's your favorite movie
Finland: I just saw this neat documentary on vodka
Sweden: *sighs exasperatedly* let's just make it vodka backwards
Finland: okay, that's not confusing at all....
~~~
Iceland: *slaps a penny on the table* guess who's rich
Norway: ...is it me?
Iceland: no
Norway: is it Denmark?
Iceland: yeah he's rich but it's someone else-
Norway: is it Sweden?
Iceland: yes he is but someone else
Norway: America?
Iceland: still, someone else
Norway: well it's not you
Iceland: wai-
Norway: I mean you only have one penny
Iceland: *glares and chucks the penny at Norway*
~~~
Finland: *drinking his vodka*
Denmark: hoe don't do it
Finland: *slams bottle down and begins twirling a knife in his fingers then stops with the knife pointing at Denmark, throws it and hits Denmark's Lego sweater pinning him to the wall*
Denmark:
Denmark: show off...
~~~
Sweden: I see the glass half full, and Denmark sees the glass half empty. That's why we make a good team when we're paired up together.
Sweden: Finland, on the other hand, drinks straight from the bottle, Norway wonders why it has to be a glass, and Iceland usually breaks the glass by pushing it off the table.