For me, perfect moments used to come from grand gestures and epic monologues. Don't get me wrong, they still do, but I focussed so much on waiting for these moments to call them 'perfect' I lost out on realises that so many little moments in my life had been perfect. For example, now.
I let out a long, quiet sigh, feeling my heart beat steady as I snuggled further into Roman's chest. I knew it was morning, but I couldn't help but long for it to be night. I wanted to be here just a little longer.
Everything I felt in this moment clouded me in soft heavens of peace. The light songs of birds mixing with the calm melodies of the gentle breeze seeping in through the cracks of the window serenaded me. Rays of golden sun trickling upon the wooden floorboards, illuminating small slithers of air where dust molecules floated in slow, ethereal dances. Then there was the warm chest below my cheek, radiating its heat throughout my body, sending every muscle into a soothing comfort.
This was perfect.
I closed my eyes once more, savouring the strong, steady thumps of his heart, listening to it pick up as I ran my bare fingertips across the ridge of his muscles. Perfect.
I reopened my eyes and gazed up at him. Roman always looked so peaceful when he slept, I couldn't understand it. The boy probably had thousands of things running through his head by the second and yet in his sleep it seemed not a single thought swam through his mind. I wondered what he dreamt of. Was it me? Us? I dreamt of us.
We were driving around in his car, talking, singing to random songs, laughing at when we got the lyrics wrong. We went to the middle of a field, picnic blanket set up as we laid on it, both reading books, feet tickling legs, hands wandering, over clothes, then under. We peeled off our clothes. We had sex. The slow, tantalising kind that made your body ache in need but your heart burst in emotion. He whispered all kinds of things in my ear, sinful, sweet, teasing. And then we watched the sun go down, and all I could think was how happy I was.
I was sad to leave the dream, but as I felt him beneath me, all sadness was replaced with happiness. Love.
Roman's eyes began to open, and I quickly closed mine, pretending I wasn't creeping on him in his sleep. I felt the soft rise and fall of his chest as one of his hands brushed some strands of hair away from my face. His fingertips ran down my back, tracing small shapes before circling up to play with the ends of my hair.
"I know you're awake." He whispered in that insanely sexy morning voice. I still refused to open my eyes. "Sienna..." he cooed and let his hand travel over my shoulder. I buried my head into his chest so he couldn't see my smile. His fingers slipped under my shoulder and began to tickle me under my arms.
I jumped and squealed, wiggling around in the sheets in small giggles and buried myself under the covers to get him to stop. His light chuckles followed me, and I pocked my head out slightly from the covers to see his radiant smile and grinning eyes. The same eyes that caught mine and gleamed when he saw me.
"Hi." I whispered shyly, still buried in the duvet with only my head popping out.
His hand cupped my cheek, and he brushed his thumb over the soft skin, "Hi." He smiled back.
His fingers gently gripped my chin and guided me up to him, so he could place a long, simple kiss on my lips.
"Good morning." I whispered once more when he pulled away, so our lips were mere millimetres apart.
"It is now." He hastily whispered back and pulled me in for another long, gentle kiss.
"Mmmm..." I hummed against his lips. "It's a perfect morning." I said as soon as we pulled away.
He chuckled and brushed a few strands of hair away from my face again. "Sleep well?"
"Yep." I couldn't hide my grin. I did sleep well. After the whole kissing in the rain fiasco, we ran inside and dried ourselves off, he let me get changed into his clothes. I loved wearing his clothes. We decided to order in a pizza and watch a movie, and the whole night we stayed cuddled up in each other's arms. The weird thing was that there wasn't anything sexual that happened between us, expect for stealing quick kisses as much as we could and one long makeout session before we went to bed. Yet, there was no wandering down south. Alas.
However, I didn't mind it. It was nice to know that everything between us was so emotional. Despite that, he looked insanely hot in just a pair of grey sweatpants. And I mean just a pair of grey sweatpants.
I pulled myself up and straddled his thighs, capturing his lips in mine with a fierce passion. The groan he made didn't escape my senses as I allowed one of my hands to teasingly run up and down his bare, hot abdomens and the other to slowly run through his hair. I noticed how it was growing longer, not too long but there was more for me to run my fingers through and pull at the dark, dirty blonde locks.
He groaned and I hummed in pleasure. God, this felt so good. I wanted to do this for as long as I could. My thighs moved to straddle over one of his thighs and I grinded myself on it, feeling the pulsing of my core beat heavily with satisfaction.
"Sienna..." he mumbled into my mouth. I kissed him harder, our tongues caressing one another, lips battling for bliss. I let my hand running over his abdomen drop and gently graze the swell of his now growing erection.
"Yes?" I sighed against his lips and grinded myself harder against his thigh, slowly working myself on him, trailing my lips from his to his neck, kissing the burning skin, swirling my tongue, sighing into the crook of his neck.
"We need to stop." He whispered slightly but his hands said otherwise as they gripped my hips hard and guided them to move in sweet rhythms against his thigh.
I guided my lips up to his ear and desperately whispered, "I want you inside of me."
He groaned at the words and closed his eyes. "Fuck, baby." I rubbed him through his sweatpants and felt him grow harder.
A moan escaped my lips as his fingers dug into my hips and I slipped my hand under his waistband before he quickly grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled it out.
"Mmm, no." he groaned and lifted me off him before rolling over on his stomach, face planted in the pillow as he groaned some more in frustration.
I giggled and moved to straddle over his back, running my hands over the tense muscles.
"My parents are downstairs." He mumbled in the pillow. I chuckled and kissed his shoulder. "You're killing me." He mumbled again.
"Poor thing, now you've got blue balls." I joked and he groaned again. My fingers dug into his skin and worked their way between his muscles, using my thumbs to massage slightly. Every muscle in him was so tense. This boy was like the embodiment of stress.
"Mmm, that feels good." He sighed and I worked my hands up to his shoulders.
"You feel so tense. Are you stressed or something?" I couldn't help but question with worry, furrowing my eyebrows as I worked my hands harder.
"Oh, you know, got into Penn and now they've sent me a shit ton of tasks and research projects to do before I even attend, my hospitalised baby sister is moving to Germany for God knows how long, this box-dyed redhead is trying to ruin my life, and my girlfriend is giving me a horrible case of blue balls."
I laughed and then a word caught me off-guard. Girlfriend.
"Girlfriend?" girlfriend. Girlfriend?! Stay calm, Sienna. Stay fucking calm.
He stilled and then turned around, holding me so I now straddled his stomach. "Sorry, I... I just assumed. There's no rush, whatever you're comfortable with, I just really liked the sound of it."
I liked the sound of it too. Girlfriend. His girlfriend. 'Hi, this is Sienna, my girlfriend'. Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend. Okay, I needed to stop.
"Girlfriend." I smiled. "I love it."
"I love you." He smiled back.
I bent down to kiss him and pulled back up, "I love you too... boyfriend."
"Hmm, I love the sound of that too." He pulled me down to kiss him again.
"Are we going to be one of those lovey-dovey cringy couples?" I laughed lightly against his lips.
He laughed too and kissed me again, only a light peck, but I loved it. "If you want to be. I've never done this before; you know the ropes."
"I only know the toxic ropes." I corrected.
"Then we'll figure this out together. Wait, does that mean I'm your first in something?" his eyes lit up teasingly.
I hummed happily, "Yep, first love. First proper love."
"Only proper love." He corrected and kissed my forehead. Damn, I loved it when he did that. I pulled myself back up.
"Only." I assured. "Only and everything."
"Only and everything." He repeated with a lazy smile on my face.
My fingers began playing with the strings on his sweatpants. He watched tentatively as they did so. "You didn't tell me you got into Penn." I didn't want it to bother me considering we were fighting at the time but still... We could have celebrated or something. I bet he celebrated with his family. I selfishly wanted to be there too.
"I got into Penn." He replied.
I rolled my eyes, "Har. Har. Maybe we can go out sometime and celebrate?"
"Are you asking me on a date?" He pretended to act shock. I lightly, playfully slapped his cheek.
"I was thinking more along the lines of waking you up with a blowjob but if you want a date —"
"That works too." He said a little too quickly, "Erm," he coughed to try and cover it up, "I mean, yeah, whatever, blowjob, no big deal."
A giggle escaped my lips and I rolled my eyes. Boys. And I was madly in love with one.
"Now can you get off me because I'm in desperate need of a cold shower. I'm dying down there."
I laughed with a cringe and climbed off him. He got up and walked around the bed to his closet to grab a towel.
"I'm gonna have a shower now and then I'll drop you off at yours so you can have a shower and get changed too." He said and pulled out a towel. Shit, I forgot we had school today. Dammit.
"Or we can shower together?" I suggested hopefully. He glanced over at me and raised an eyebrow. "Okay, fine." I huffed. "Enjoy your blue balls."
He walked back around to the shower door, and I followed him, not to join him but because I liked being close to him.
"We can drive-thru Dunkin' if you like, get some breakfast before school?" he offered.
"Ooo, you've got me on board." I chirped. He leant back against the doorframe and smiled down at me, eyes blatantly checking me out and I knew he loved the sight. I was wearing a pair of his black boxer briefs and a grey hoodie.
"I love you." He said, smiling like an idiot. I could never get enough of him saying that.
"I love you too." I said, also smiling like an idiot. "Think of me whilst you jerk off." I teased. Wow, way to ruin a moment, Sienna. Hey, the thought of it was sexy as hell.
He tipped his head back and laughed before leaning down to kiss me on the forehead and then bent down to whisper in my ear, grabbing my hand and cupping it against his throbbing erection. "Call me when you touch yourself tonight." Well. Fuck. Me. I almost died on the spot.
With that, he turned around and closed the door behind him, leaving me to the explosion of butterflies in my stomach and between my legs. A little squeal left my lips and I jumped back into bed, snuggling into the sheets that were infatuated with his scent. This was real. This was really real.
❦❤︎❦
After Roman drove me back to mine and I got ready, we drove and got breakfast before driving to school. I was nervous to say the least. High school had changed so much for me over the past months and now I only had little time left in it left. Yet, it seemed bearable. With my best friend back and now my boyfriend –
Boyfriend. I couldn't stop saying that. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend – okay, now I needed to stop.
Everything seemed like it was going to be okay.
Roman looked over at me from the driver's seat, eyes examining my body.
"What?" I asked, sipping on my iced coffee.
"You haven't worn a skirt in a while." He commented on. I looked down at myself, he was right. It was a basic skirt and top, but I had been living in sweatpants and leggings for a while. I didn't really see why I needed to put effort into my look for school, but now I kind of wanted to. Not for school, not exactly for Roman..... kind of because of Roman, but I also just wanted to wear what I wanted to wear even if it meant I put effort into my look or not. And today I wanted to wear a skirt. I was in a happy mood to wear a skirt.
"I wanted to." I replied back. "You like?"
He slithered his hand from the steering wheel and rested it high on my thigh. Dangerously high on my high. Breathe, Sienna, breathe.
"I like." He looked back at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
I've decided to wear skirts forever now.
We pulled up to school and hopped out of the car. "Can we go to my locker first? I need to get some books for Chem."
"Sure." He locked his car and walked around it to grab my hand.
Hand holding. Have we ever done hand holding? Why am I freaking out about hand holding? It's just hand holding, Sienna, calm down!
When I tell you that everyone was looking at us as we walked in, I mean pretty much everyone. It wasn't that classic, stop dead and stare as if you're a zombie like that one scene from Twilight, but everyone sneaked up glances and whispered to their friends. I didn't care. I wanted them to whisper, I wanted them to know that Roman and I were together, that I was his and he was mine.
We reached my locker, and I began collecting my books. "D'you know if Skye's around some time?" I asked mindlessly as I carefully placed the books in my bag.
"Yeah, she's free pretty much all the time unless she's packing with my mom." He answered. I could tell that Skye was still a tricky topic for him, but he wasn't objecting to talking about her completely which was better than nothing. "Why?"
"I don't know, I just feel like I haven't seen her in ages. I want to have some girl-time with her before... you know."
"Yeah." He sighed sadly, catching on to what 'you know' was. "She's been missing you a lot."
"She has?"
"Yep." He chuckled. "She actually told me she would sibling-break-up with me so she could talk to you again." Oh my God, I loved her.
I laughed, "She's amazing. I honestly can't wait to see her again." I turned around and glanced up at him. "What?" he was looking down at me smiling.
He pulled me into a long kiss. Not too passionate that it screamed crazy PDA, but it was sweet and soft and made my heart flutter.
"Ew, gross! Kissing! Someone call the PDA police!" a voice behind me exclaimed and I knew that voice like the back of my hand.
I smiled against Roman's lips and pulled away. "Good morning, Rya." I chimed. I turned around and there she full. Beaming like she usually was. Yep, Miss Rya McCoy was back and ready to cause some trouble.
"Morning, bitches. Or shall I say sluts? It depends on what happened last night –"
"Rya!" I hissed.
She waved her hand to brush it away, "Oh please! Anyways, I found the perfect spot for Friday night."
"Friday night? What's Friday night?" Roman asked, looking confusedly between Rya and I. Friday night was the first part in our plan. Well, not necessarily our plan-plan but Rya and I felt like it was needed.
"Our plan." Rya answered.
Roman down at me, still confused, "The plan to take down Nikki?" He guessed.
"Kind of." I answered. "We've planned the whole thing. It's got different parts to it."
"Yep!" Rya chirped. "And that bitch is going down!"
I laughed at her enthusiasm before the bell rang for class. I closed my locker and turned back to Roman. "What have you got first?"
"History." No! That's two floors up from me! Urgh, torture. "I'll wait for you after class."
I stood up on my tiptoes to wrap my hands around his neck. "Okay."
"I love you." He whispered and kissed my forehead.
"I love you too." I sighed and let go. I watched him walk away and leant back against my locker. God, I'm like a lovesick puppy.
Rya's eyes burned into the side of my head, and I glanced at her. She was holding herself back from giggling like a thirteen-year-old.
"So...?"
My cheeks broke out in a deep red blush, and I couldn't stop myself from nervously giggling.
"Eeee!" Rya jumped up and down and tackled me in a hug. "Urgh! I'm so happy for you! Finally!"
"I know!" I laughed. I still couldn't believe it. Roman and I. It was real, it was happening, and it was perfect.
"You'd have thought all those months ago when we peeked round those library shelves, we were staring at your future man!" she playfully slapped my arm.
We linked arms and walked down the halls to class. Rya had Biology first, so our classrooms were on the same floor. I missed walking to class with her so much, it felt so good to do it again.
"How is it? Being all loved up?"
I let out a long breath and smiled, "Amazing. I still can't believe it. Everything is so good."
"You deserve it." She told me. "After everything, Roman is perfect for you, and I know he's going to be the one to treat you unbelievably amazingly."
I couldn't stop myself from blushing. "So does that mean no she's-my-best-friend-if-you-hurt-her-I'll-kill-you talk?"
"Oh, honey, I'm not keeping any promises to that." I knew she wouldn't be able to help herself. Poor Roman. He's going to have to 'earn' for Rya to like him even though she already likes him. And I bet she was going to have fun with it too. Bless his soul, I'd have to warn him. "But I guess I'll hold it off till he's your boyfriend."
I blushed even further, giving her the knowing look.
"Shut. Up!" she shook my arm frantically. "He didn't, did he?"
"He did." I smiled like an idiot.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed. "Dude dropped the L-bomb and asked for the G-word in the same space of twenty-four hours?! He puts those couples on Love Island to shame!"
I laughed as we reached our floor. "I can't believe it, Rya. Boyfriend. Roman Lawrence is my boyfriend. Catch me because I think I might fall."
"Nuh-uh, you've already fallen. There's no getting your ass up now."
We reached my classroom door and unlinked our arms. "I'll see you after class." I told her.
"Unless Roman sees you first." She walked backwards and wiggled her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and gave a little laugh before entering the classroom.
❦❤︎❦
This was the most draining class I had ever had. One, because I still don't like Chemistry, and two, because I kept thinking about Roman. Literally every single thought was about him. So much so I almost poured hydrochloric acid on myself mid-experiment which my lab partner was not proud of.
God, I was going insane. If only we shared a class but nope, we share no classes. A total of zero! Because he just had to be so much smarter than me.
I slumped in my seat waiting for the bell to ring, mindlessly filling in a worksheet about the experiment we just did. Yet, all my mind did was think of him. It was all the little things as well, like waking up this morning in his arms, laughing and teasing, "call me when you touch yourself tonight" – Jesus. I needed Jesus.
Once the bell finally rang, I practically flew off my stall and hastily packed up all my things to get the hell out of this classroom.
And there he was. Leaning against the lockers, reading some Science book with his glasses on top of his head. His glasses! Roman barely wore his glasses anymore since the whole makeover because he got contacts which he said were much easier and practical to wear, but I still missed his glasses.
My heart fluttered and I was about to walk over there before someone caught my eye. Lo and behold Emily freaking Lewis was walking up to him, her eyes blatantly checking out his body, as if she were ready to start some flirty conversation. Oh hell no.
Without thinking, I stalked up to him.
"Hey, baby –"
I cut him off but capturing his lips in mine. And this time it wasn't a soft and sweet kiss like this morning. Nope. This was as passionate as I was going to make it.
It took Roman a millisecond to kiss me back as I pressed my body to his and kissed him with everything I had. He always had this way of making everything disappear whenever he kissed me. Our surroundings faded into the mist of nothingness, clouding us in a bubble of only each other. And suddenly, this wasn't a kiss to get rid of Emily, this was a kiss for us and only us.
I swiped my tongue across the seal of his lips and parted them, caressing his tongue with mine before he fought back in a battle of passion and control. He gently pressed me up against the lockers, one of his arms resting above my head to gain balance as his body caged mine.
A cough caught my attention, however. I pulled away to see Emily awkwardly standing there with her music books pressed closely to her chest.
"What d'you want?" I asked in a tired, bitter tone. I was going to add 'bitch' on the end but decided against it in order to not start any drama.
I witnessed her eyes shift over Roman's body, lingering a little too long down south. What the fuck? She only wanted him physically and completely screwed him over for Chad Willman at the Spring Fling. She had no right to even look at him.
You didn't want him at his 'worst', you don't deserve him at his best.
"That's my locker." She replied.
"This one?" I pointed to the one I was pressed against.
She awkwardly coughed again. What do you have? The flu? Didn't realise being shallow was contagious. Calm, Sienna.
"No, that one." She pointed to the one next to us. We were blocking her way.
"Oh." I grabbed roman by the colour and flipped us around, pinning him against Emily's locker. "Oopsies." I gave her a fake smile before fiercely kissing him again.
"How's about you go stand somewhere else? I heard those lockers Chad Willman fucked you against are free." I pulled away and couldn't resist the dig before I went back to kissing Roman. I heard her give a defeated, irritated sigh and listened to her footsteps furiously stomp away.
"Sienna." Roman murmured against my lips. I kept kissing him, I pulled his bottom lip between my teeth and let go, watching it bounce back. "Hey." He laughed lightly and gently push me away from him, our bodies were still touching, however. "No need to get jealous."
"I'm not jealous." I denied.
He raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?"
"Yes. 'Really'." I tantalisingly kissed my way along his jaw. "You're mine, I'm just making sure everyone knows that."
I reached back up to his lips and planted mine on his in a long kiss, capturing his bottom lip between my teeth once again, pulling it before letting it go. Fuck, I loved doing that. He groaned and rested his hands on my shoulder.
"Calm down, pretty-girl." He chuckled. "I didn't realise you were the jealous type." Was I the jealous type? Did he like me being the jealous type? Or did he find it annoying?
"I'm not the jealous-type, I just don't want other girls approaching to flirt with my boyfriend. Especially... her." Yes, Emily the shallow bitch Lewis.
He smiled softly and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "Well, you have nothing to worry about. I wasn't going to give her the time of day anyways, I'm yours, pretty-girl. I'm not interested in any other girl but you."
That felt... reassuring. And nice. I should have known that Roman wouldn't have given her the time of day, maybe I shouldn't have acted so jealous.
"Sorry." I cringed a little and looked down at my feet. "It's just... I guess I just got a reminder of you-know-who for a second and I don't like Emily anyways and I just... I just wanted... I don't know."
"Hey," he lifted my chin up with his fingers to look at him. "Talk to me. I'm here to listen and I'm never going to judge. This isn't going to work unless you talk to me, baby."
He right. He was always right. "I'm sorry, I just get scared because this is all too good to be true and I don't want another person getting in between us. I love you too much to let you go again." He was so easy to talk to. Not one word I said felt guilty or defensive, he only listened intently and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Okay." He nodded. "It's okay, I understand. But I'm promising you that that will never happen again, and I love you far too much to ever even think about another girl." This boy was perfect.
"Okay." I rested my head against his chest. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me." He argued. "I'm just doing what anyone should, you can thank me when I randomly buy you flowers or cook you your favourite dinner. Not when I'm doing basic, relationship stuff, baby. I only expect the same back." He kissed my forehead and I sighed happily with content. Thank you, God for blessing the earth with this boy.
"I will give you everything back. I love you." I whispered.
"I love you more, but we're both running insanely late for class." Shit. We are. Urgh, well done, Sienna. "What d'you have next?"
"English." I answered.
"Same. AP. Here." He grabbed the books I was still holding in one arm. "Let's go." He took my hand, and we ran down the halls to our next class.
I found myself wishing for everyday in school to be like this and I hated the fact that it wasn't in the past. My perfect boy was always there, and I never bothered to know him. I had him now, although, and I was never letting him go.
A figure caught my eye walking out the library. "Leah!" I called and stopped Roman.
"Sienna? Hi!" she smiled.
"Hey! What are you doing Friday night?" I quickly asked, knowing Roman was desperate to get back to class.
She bit her lip, thinking, "Erm, nothing, I think." Nothing. Good.
"Perfect! Let's hang out. You, me, and Rya. I'll text you the time and place."
She looked at me slightly puzzled but nonetheless agreed to it. "Oh, erm, okay. I guess I'll see you then?"
"Great!" I turned back to Roman and we started walking away, and he stared down at me suspiciously.
"And what's happening Friday night?"
"You'll see... but we need your car – oh! And those candles your mom has."
___________________________________
❤︎ hello lovelies! Awww, writing lovesick #romenna is honestly the cutest but kind of weird considering I've spent so long writing this forbidden sexual tension between them lol! But I love them nonetheless x
❤︎ Theories? What will happen next?
❤︎ this book has suddenly been getting a lot of attention recently which I am unbelievably grateful for but it's all a little overwhelming too so please remember to be kind x
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