ivory<3
I blink at the three boys in front of me, the silly smile on their faces holding up a playboy bunny costume.
"what the fuck is that?" I asked, crossing my arms. they showed up ten minutes ago I miss them so much, we haven't talked but they always came to check up on me. if it was text or they would just show up but they would just check-up, and I liked that.
"what does it look like doll face?" Robin placed his hand over my shoulder. "it's your costume."
I look at him in disbelief. there's no fucking way I'm wearing that. or going out in that matter I'm not ready. I've only been to my classes and home. I haven't even been at their games which I feel horrible for because they haven't been doing so great.
"there's no way I'm wearing that." they snickered, I narrowed my eyes at them.
"if you think I'm wearing that, you all lost your dam mind."
"Wanna bet?" logan says, a cocky grin on his lips. I shake my head.
I would wear it, hell I would look so fucking good in it. but I don't want to go. I need to get out I've been ignoring everyone that's not healthy.
"look, it's a Halloween party were just going to have some fun. as soon as you say the word we can leave we promise." logan says, that well know cocky grin was gone and replaced with a gentle one.
I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck.
"Okay."
the corners of my mouth turn into a small smile watching them jump around. I really hope tonight goes well.
I don't even want to go out but maybe, I could use this.
"But I'm not wearing that," I gesture to the outfit. robin grabbed my arm placing them behind my back, making me let out a squeal.
"Oh trust me doll face, you're wearing that. even if we have to put it on you ourselves." I could hear the amusement in his tone as he gestures mason and logan to come closer, next thing I know I'm being tickled to death.
"stop!" I wheezed out, tears coming to my eyes from the force of laughter.
"not you gotta wear it." logan tickled my feet, cause me to jerk and kick him in the leg.
"Please, stop!" I cried out, my laughter filling the room. I missed this feeling.
"who would have thought, doll's face looks so pretty when she begs." Robin stopped tickling me making me shove him.
"I hate you all." I bit my lip, shaking my head I could feel my cheeks starting to hurt from smiling so hard.
"don't tell lies sweetheart, they always come back and bite you in the ass."
______________________
the music was so loud it hurt my ears, I held on to logan's arm as we move through the sweaty bodies dancing altogether. I want to go home, I wanted to go home the moment I put this costume on. don't get me wrong I look hot, I could pull the whole sports team if I could.
but I don't want the whole sports team, I want him but I also don't want to see him,
"don't worry, he's not here." logan chirp in my ear, I guess he could notice my uneasiness. he hates Halloween, I know he isn't here. I just thought... nothing.
let's not get high hopes although, Im already heartbroken so what is the worst that can happen?
"Ivy, seriously don't worry. You of all people just deserve to have a little fun, clear your head and if it's too much we will leave." He speaks, holding a beer out to me.
"I don't deserve a friend like you." I smiled, taking the beer out of his hands.
"No your right! So take what you can and have fun." Logan's arms wrap around my shoulder. I could see mason and robin talking with some girls.
Those poor girls, Robin probably plotting already for a way to throw them out in the morning.
Logan sticks with me the whole night, I told him many times that he can have fun and do whatever he wants to do but he just doesn't believe I'm okay.
I'm not okay but, fake it till you make it am I'm right.
"Logan I promise I'm okay, please go have fun." I grimaced, I feel bad he stuck with me.
"I am having fun, with you." Logan smiled he's too nice, I pray he gets an amazing girl.
"Logan, I'm a bummer to be around right now. So please for the little bit of sanity I have and yours, go have fun." I pleaded. Placing both my hands on his shoulders.
"Promise as soon as you want to leave come to me." I nod my head, before he left off he kissed my forehead mumbled a sorry.
What the hell is he sorry for? He's been nothing but great to me.
I headed towards the bathroom taking off the bunny ears that were clinging to my hair. I pulled out the small white pull-out of my bag, placing it on the tip of my tongue.
This seems to be my only escape right now. I looked in the mirror, I can't even recognize the person looking back at me.
I miss me.
I miss who I was with him.
God, I'm so pathetic, Jesus what the fuck happens to me.
Oh, that's right, Giovanni happened. I can't exactly blame him really it's my fault too.
I walked out of the bathroom only to see Robin this time, he leaned against the doorway like he was waiting for me.
"Let me guess, Logan has you on the babysitting shift now?" I asked, he pull me into him wrapping his arm around me like he always does.
"Doll, I won't lie and I'm not gonna lie to you but, yes." I let out a sigh dropping my head.
Great!
"I swear I'm fine, please go have fun," I begged, a sad smile on my lips.
I wish they believe me, who the hell am I'm kidding I can't even believe myself.
"Nope." I slumped my shoulders, following him around the party. Everything was nicely decorated, I'm not exactly a fan of Halloween I rather watch the supernatural and eat enough candy till my stomach hurts.
Robin got distracted by a girl, I sneaked away from him. I push past the couples on the steps as they made out exploring the home just a bit more.
The home was lovely, it was one of the homes you'll see in accent movies that claim they're hunted.
The paintings on the wall were luxurious, I dragged my fingers over the crisp painting. I declare this is my favorite painting ever.
The two large doors caught my attention, I pushed through them coming face to face with walls filled with books.
A library.
I ran my hand over the books filling the hardcovers feel perfectly under my fingers.
"It's beautiful isn't it." I turn my head so fast I could've got whiplash.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Mason says, I place my hand on my chest giving him a small smile.
"It's okay, nothing I can't handle" I turn back to the bookshelf pulling one out.
"What are you doing here? I thought Logan had you on lockdown." mason asked, he took a seat in one of the chairs.
"Did you think that was gonna last?" I cocked an eyebrow at him, moving closer.
He didn't respond, as I got closer I can smell the distant alcohol off him. I sat in the chair next to him.
Mason scoffed. "I just don't understand." I blink at him confusion all on my expression.
"Understand what?" I asked, facing him.
"What does he has that I don't." I frown at him. Please don't do this right now.
"Mason-"
"no I just don't get it, tell me what does he have?" he asked again, his tone getting serious.
"mason we are not doing this right now," I tell him, he scoffed again standing up. whatever he's about to get out I know he's been holding it in for a long time.
"no! he's hurt you, he made you cry more times than I can count, he's using you!" he raised his voice, I jump back slightly.
"mason stop."
mason laughed shaking his head. "am I'm hurting your feeling, huh is poor little ivory upset?"
"you're drunk, you're not thinking straight," I defended him, I should know better-drunk words and actions are only sober thoughts.
so is this how mason thinks of me?
"oh im thinking perfectly straight." mason grips the back of his neck walking over to me.
"you don't deserve to be with him," he placed both his hands on each side of the chair blocking me from getting up. I've never been scared around mason and right now I could feel the fear creep up my back.
"And what? I deserve to be with you?" I asked, ignorance filling my tone hiding behind that scared one.
"yes! you deserve to be valued, not used by some fuck boy who can't even admit he's in love with you." mason gritted out, I shrink back into my chair.
I pushed him back making him stumble over his feet, I began to walk away from him feeling the urge to cry. that drug can really kick in about right now. I felt him wrap his hand around my forearm pulling me back into his chest.
"mason let me go," I attempt to struggle out his grip, dam! the grip on my arm tighten making me cry out. "stop please,"
he placed his hands on each side of my face crushing his lips onto mine, I pushed him back he held nothing but a smirk on his face not looking at me but the figure behind me.
I turn around seeing Giovanni, he stood at the door way watching us pure rage and angry radiate off him. but he does nothing he just walks away like he did last time a single pain shot straight to my heart.
I go running after him but, mason's fingernails dug into my skin holding me back.
"don't, please," he begged, his face looked so pained.
"you'll run after him again and again and he would do nothing but break you." mason gritted out, his voice filled with anger.
his grip on my arm tightens making me cry out in pain. "mason your hurting me!" I yelled at him trying to get out of his grip.
he let go of me mumbling a sorry, i didn't care, he did his damage. I ran out of the room following Giovanni pushing through the crowd, my tears running free down my face as the pain in my arm rush through my body.
I see his back walking out the door, I past logan running after him.
"Giovanni stop please!" I yelled after him, my voice was so weak.
"it wasn't what it looked like," I called out again, his broad back still facing me.
I stopped walking looking at him before he reached the car I called out again making him stop.
" Are you serious! your really gonna walk away without letting me explain?!" I dropped my sore arms to my side. he turns back at me shaking his head.
"explain? you want me to let you explain! you were kissing my best friend!" he shouted at me, I shake my head. the huge lump in my throat making me want to scream out.
"that is not what happens-"
" stop with the bullshit ivory, you know can really tell now how much of your mother-daughter you really are."
I step back at his words, ouch.
I looked down at the ground shaking my head the cold air making me shiver but I didn't care.
" wow, do you really think that low of me?" my voice cracked, I watched his jaw clench he stayed quiet telling me his answer I twist the necklace he gave me around my finger.
"im not doing this." he turns to walk away
"If you walk away from this, that means your walking away from the possibility of us." I take two steps towards him, pain and guilt rising within me.
please don't walk away.
"We were doomed from the begging," Giovanni mummers, without a second look he gets in his car and drives off leaving me completely shatter,
"ivory." I felt mason touch my shoulder, I jumped away from him looking at him as if im disgusted with him.
it did.
"no, are you happy now? huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!" I choked out, this is what I was afraid of.
Im done.
Heyyy besties how y'all doing.