TW!!!- Abuse discussed.
All rights of characters and world are reserved to J. K. Rowling.
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He floos into the entryway of Nott Manor instead of taking it directly into Theo's rooms. If she was asleep, he didn't want to wake her. She had been sleeping most of the 5 days since Theo found her, and he knew she needed it.
He walks his way up to Theo's rooms, and feels the heavy wards recognize him and let him open the door. He and Theo had been warding the area almost obsessively since they had healed her. Theo always had the rooms protected, to ensure his father, the house elves, and any other unwanted person had no access to the only place in the world Theo felt truly safe. But they both agreed they needed to add more now that she was here.
He walks straight to Theo's bedroom, which had been transformed into Granger's over the last couple of days. She is still asleep. Still on the damn floor, but at least she is asleep.
"Not to sound like a naggy wife, but where the hell have you been?"
Draco looks up and pokes his head out of the bedroom doorway, and sees Theo coming out from the kitchen with a tray of food.
"Out."
Theo gives him a half smile and shakes his head, walking past him into the room.
"You all call me a hoarder, but I swear if you have brought back more stuff for Granger, that title is going to be transferred to you."
At that, Draco takes multiple tiny packages out of the pockets of his robes, and waves his wand to grow them back to their original size.
"Shit mate... You have a problem."
"You have no idea."
He starts to pull the items out of the bags. Yesterday he was able to have an almost conscious conversation with her that lasted about 10 minutes. One of the longest since Theo had found her. She had been able to answer some of the questions he had. He hoped she had been aware enough to answer them correctly, or Theo was about to be even more upset.
"Has she woken up since I've been gone?"
He pulls out an enormous Gryffindor red mug he had seen in the window of the tea shop that carried her favorite tea. The mug is much too large for a normal person's daily consumption of tea, but not Granger. He knew she had the tendency to carry a damn mug everywhere, using a warming charm over, and over again throughout the day, making sure it was never empty. He knew she always placed her mugs on a table next to the books she was lost in, to ensure there was no chance of spilling.
On multiple occasions, he had found her mugs left in the library, and had always placed them on the librarian's front desk with a small note with her name on it, knowing she would be back bright and early to find it.
He holds the mug in one of his hands and casts a personally created protection spell he had been working on, over the top of it. It would keep the cup from ever spilling.
She will like that.
Now she can drink and read at the same time.
He places the mug down, and pulls out the extremely hard to find shampoo he believed she used. She had told him the store that she bought it from, some muggle store in the heart of London, but she wasn't able to tell him the name of the exact one she preferred. He currently had a horrible headache from smelling bottle after bottle of shampoo until he smelled the familiar scent of lavender and vanilla.
"Nope. She's been out. Her dressings need to be changed soon though, but I would prefer her to wake up on her own. She seems calmer when she wakes up naturally."
Next he pulls out a stack of books varying in themes and subjects.
"Draco seriously, I have a whole library. She will have plenty to read."
He doesn't respond to him, and pulls out another stack of books, and drops them down next to the other in a loud thump as he makes eye contact with Theo, daring him to say something.
He grabs the other large bag, and walks over to the closet they had emptied for her. While he was a fan of seeing her in his clothes, he wanted her to have what made her the most comfortable.
He pulls out a couple pairs of the extremely tight, and wonderfully taboo to his own upbringing, muggle jeans that she was always wearing. She hadn't been able to tell him her size beyond medium, and he didn't realize at the time how complex and unnecessary women's sizing was. Medium was not enough. So he guessed and bought 3 pairs in 4 different sizes. He had done the same with the sweaters, blouses, dresses, and shoes as well.
"Do you need any help?" Theo grabs one of the sweaters and looks it over. "This looks like something she would wear. She was always wearing big baggy sweaters in the library. It was bloody cold in there though."
"She wore them everywhere, not just the library."
Theo shrugs.
"Yeah well, I mostly saw her in the library. We never talked of course, but around 3rd year, we started this weird ritual of always smiling at each other when we walked by our tables. You know she was one of the few people who would acknowledge I was alive?"
"That sounds like her."
Theo nods his head and looks back down into the bag. A small laugh escapes through his pressed lips.
"Draco, I think you forgot a couple of things..."
"What? How?"
"Yeah, yeah I know, I am wondering the same thing looking around at all this shit, but yeah you definitely did."
Draco looks around to the literal piles of objects he had been bringing back to the rooms over the past two days. How could he have forgotten anything?
"You didn't get her... uhm... ugh... any delicates."
"Delicates?"
"You know, undergarments. Bras, panties."
Draco stares at his friend without blinking.
Fuck.
"Shit."
How was he supposed to buy her those items? There was not a world that existed where Draco Malfoy would walk into a female undergarment store, and pick out sensitive items for a girl he wasn't having sex with.
No world ever.
"It's alright mate. I mean, I'm sure she won't need them too much to stay in my rooms for the next 6 months. I don't think there is a lot of point to the pieces anyways, but maybe we should ask Pansy or Daphne to be sure. Maybe they have ordering catalogs for those pieces too?"
Hell no. Those two couldn't keep a secret to save their lives.
"No, she can tell us if she wants the items or not. If she wants them, you will be going to get them for her."
Theo jerks his head back at him as he hangs the last blouse from the bag, with a look of terror on his face.
"Me? Why?"
"I'm not doing it."
"Why not?"
Draco rolls his eyes and waves his wand to clean all the bags off the closet floor. "Because I'm not."
"Wow great argument there Draco. I have no idea how I will ever counter it. Oh yeah easy, there is no way in hell I am walking into a negligee shop, and picking out pieces for Granger. I would have no idea where to even begin. And I do not want to live the rest of my life knowing that intimate information about her."
A moment passes.
"We'll make Blaise do it." They say it in unison. Theo smiles at Draco and he even lets out a laugh.
They both make to walk out of the closet, when Draco pauses at the sight of a wide awake Granger, sitting up from the floor holding the bowl of soup from the tray in one hand, and a spoon halfway to her mouth in another.
"Hi."
"Hi." They both say it in unison again.
She smiles up at them as she places the spoon in her mouth.
"The soup is very good Theodore."
"Uhm, thanks."
They all just stare at each other awkwardly for a few moments.
"Okay Granger, how much of that did you hear?"
She quirks her mouth and places the spoon down.
"All of it."
Kill me. Kill me now.
"Fucking fantastic," Draco mutters underneath his breath as he closes his eyes, and turns his head to the ceiling. Watch this be one of the first moments she remembers. With his luck it would be.
All of a sudden, he whips his head back down at the sound of her laugh that fills the room.
That's a good sign.
No, that's a great sign.
And she is sitting up and eating.
Seriously the best sign.
Merlin, somehow she is still beautiful.
Her hair has yet to be washed, as she only left the floor to relieve herself in between long marathons of sleep, but her hair was always wild so it still fit her. His large t-shirt, that he never planned on washing again, covers a lot of the scars, bruises, and dressings all over her body that had yet to heal completely. And while her face is still heavily bruised, her eyes are once again their big brown pools. Her nose is back to being small and button-like, and her lips have a healthy pink tint to them once again. And right now they are open, and smiling, and letting out one of his favorite sounds in the world. He knows he's staring. He needs to stop staring, but he can't.
I can't believe you are alive, and laughing right now.
"Well, I'm going to go sacrifice myself to Nagini now..." Theo moves over to his large healing kit. "The recipe for the soup is in the kitchen, in the small brown book next to the spatulas, I leave it to you, Hermione Granger."
She laughs again, and Draco feels a pinch of anger towards his friend.
Okay Granger, he's not that funny...
"Well thank you Theodore, I appreciate it."
"Hey no more of this Theodore shit okay Granger? I basically created an organ in your body, so I think we are at a place in our relationship where you can call me Theo."
"Only if you call me Hermione."
Theo walks his way over to her, and places the large healing kit next to him as he sits down with her, and extends his hand with a huge grin on his face.
Fuck, Theo is going to let her touch him.
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Hermione."
She lets out another soft giggle, and places her hand in his.
"The pleasure is mine, Theo."
They have been shaking hands a bit too long to be cordial don't you think?
"Theo, the dressings." His friend turns his head to him and gives him a knowing look. Draco is not in the mood to play along.
"Whatever you say Draco."
He gives him a salute before pulling out the materials needed to change the dressings over the wounds that are still healing.
"Granger, how are you feeling?"
For the first time since he entered the room, she looks up at him. He doesn't know what her thoughts are as she looks him over. He honestly doesn't know how much of the last 5 days she remembers. Hopefully not that disturbing first interaction they had had together.
That does not count as our first kiss Granger...
It'll be your only kiss fucker...
It always seemed like she was only half in the present when she was awake, even with the Draught of Peace. And it had been impossible to have her tell them some of the things they needed to know, but Theo told him that healing took time, and that she would let them know when she was ready. Draco is pretty sure, her sitting up, eating, and laughing were all signs that meant she was ready. He needs information if he is going to find a way to save her.
"Alive, so you should still be glad, Malfoy."
Oh, so we are making this a thing? Fine by me Granger.
He can't help the smirk that crosses his face.
"Oh come on Hermione, you gotta give the guy more than that. He deserves it after spending the last couple days buying you everything under the sun." Theo hands her a Draught of Peace, and also a pain suppressant and she swallows them both. "And seriously, how are you feeling? It's nice seeing you sitting up and eating."
"That is all a testament to your healing abilities Theo. I truly feel better than I have in quite some time, so thank you. Both of you, thank you."
With her last words she looks from Theo to him. He doesn't know what to do with the unguarded look she is giving him, and feels himself switching his weight from one foot to another.
"Of course."
Theo rolls his eyes, "How is your side and hip feeling?"
"Still sore, but nothing above an ache anymore. And my head feels better too, it has been easier to think clearly since being here."
"Well I am guessing the environment is more to thank for that than me."
Granger nods her head in agreement, and moves the collar of his t-shirt to give Theo access to undress one of the wounds on her upper chest. Draco finally goes and joins Theo in helping remove them. They really are healing up nicely. Theo did a great job, a better job than he would have done. Not that he would ever admit to that. She would have scars, but not as many as he first thought, and with some sun, more would probably fade.
"May... may I take a bath please?"
Granger's voice is much softer than before. Almost a whisper, and the fear and trepidation were unmistakable as she says the words. Draco looks up to her face, and sees a mirror look to the way her voice sounds.
No Granger, come back...
Switches like this had happened frequently over the past couple of days. None nearly as extreme as the first time. But it was impossible to predict when or why they would happen, and everytime, Draco felt his stomach catch in his throat.
"Of course Hermione! You don't have to ask either. I think we have all agreed that this room is now yours for the next 6 months. I know I have no desire to move the piles of things this bastard bought for you. Use and do whatever you like whenever you like. You're safe here."
Theo smiles and looks right into her big brown eyes that are more watery than before.
"6 months?"
Theo flinches and releases her hand, squeezing his eyes shut as he realizes the mistake he has made.
Fuck.
Of course you would catch that Granger. Fucking Brightest Witch of Our Age...
"We will discuss that after your bath."
"No, we will discuss it now, Malfoy."
She is glaring at him, challenging him.
He sits back on the floor and leans against the bed frame, taking in the fire in her eyes. It is so much better to see than the fear that was there minutes ago.
Why are you smiling?
Stop smiling, you prick.
"Well Granger, it looks like we both have questions for each other, so why don't you answer mine first, and then I'll answer yours." Before she has time to respond with another riled up request, he continues. "I only ask that you share first, because your information is much more valuable, and can affect my own greatly."
She takes a minute to think that over, never taking her eyes off of him. She isn't happy. She never liked to back down from him.
"Cockroach." It's a whisper, almost like she is trying to hide what she said by letting out a breath, but he hears it all the same and finds himself smiling again.
"Fine, but I will need to ask some clarifying questions along the way."
"Be my guest Granger."
"How long has it been since the Battle of Hogwarts?"
"6 months, 7 days, and 14 hours."
She blinks. That was more precise than she had expected.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"I thought... I just... It feels like it has been longer."
They all let that hang in the air between them, no one really knowing what to say next.
"Okay so 6 months ago, Dolohov captured me during the last moments of the battle. He..."
The fact that she was only two sentences into her story, and was already having to pause due to the emotional impact of the events she was about to share, makes Draco's hands go into fists.
Dolohov.
When he had been summoned to the Dark Lord's meeting with the high seated Death Eaters, and saw the fucker sitting there, he almost casted an Avada on the spot. It took one of the most intense sessions of occlumency to ground him. He was still trying to break out of some of his walls days later.
"He took me before He Who Must Not Be Named later. He used legilimency on me and found that my mind had apparently been obliviated. That where the battle should have been was a pause that skipped straight to Dolohov capturing me. Mast..."
Draco watches as her throat bobs, and she closes her eyes for a second before continuing.
"Dolohov said that he found me fighting off three Death Eaters in the woods close to the apparition point, trying to block them from someone. He took me for his own, knowing who I was."
He knew you as Potter's mudblood. The bastard didn't even remember your name.
I am going to kill him Granger, unless you want to do the honors.
I think watching you slowly and painfully destroy him would be one of the best things I would ever see.
"They took me into a tent afterwards. I didn't hear any more of the conversation or plan for me. The next thing I knew I was before You Know Who again, and they were performing blood magic of some sort, and then they must have knocked me out. I awoke with pain around my neck, that is this damn magic suppressant mark, in a large house I had never seen before and... and that is where I have been for the last 5 months. I was very briefly with Amycus Carrow, your father Theo, and your father Malfoy for some reason that..."
"My father? You were given to my father?"
He feels something warm in his palms as he digs his fingers into the flesh, creating crescent wounds with his fingernail. His father... If his father...
I can't take this. I can't...
"Yes, but he locked me in a room as soon as Dolohov was done with me, and I didn't see him again."
Draco finds himself rising and walking from one end of the room to the other, his hands pressing against his face, trying to keep it all in. Trying to keep it in him.
She had enough to deal with, she had enough to carry. He knew if she saw him lose it, saw what was done to her affect him, consume him, she would feel responsible. That bleeding heart of a Gryffindor.
"You promise? You promise me he didn't touch you?"
He says it through the hands still pressed against his face.
"Yes I promise, Malfoy, he didn't touch me."
He takes a moment to build his walls, and takes a deep breath before running his hand through his hair, and joining Granger and Theo back on the damn floor.
"Okay. I apologize."
"You don't need to apologize Malfoy, it was a fair question to ask. And.." He feels her small warm hand rest on his leg right above his knee, and his shoulders relax just at the small form of affection. "And you are allowed to be emotional. It's okay, it won't make me upset I promise."
Her glorious little hand squeezes his leg. He watches her face as she gives him a soft smile.
Stop making her comfort you bastard. You should be comforting her.
Be stronger.
He gives her a slight nod, and braves himself to place his hand above hers.
Please don't stop touching me Granger, please don't move your hand, please.
"Continue whenever you're ready."
"Honestly there isn't much more after that. Dolohov gave me some ridiculous excuse for why I wasn't allowed to stay with him this last month. I am guessing he did something that made, You Know Who, angry at him, and taking me away was his punishment. I don't know what it was though. I am guessing they have kept me alive due to Dolohov, and because they want whatever information I used to have."
"And also to try to keep The Order at bay my guess, which has been working from our accounts. They have barely been active since the battle."
Theo hands Granger a vitamix potion as he shares his innocent thoughts, but Draco watches as the switch happens in Granger. The fear is living in her face again.
"Shit, what did I say? Sorry Hermione. I am sure Potter and Weasley have been looking everywhere for you. I mean, we were on the inside, and still couldn't find a trace or hint of you until you turned up in my own home, so I am sure it is even harder on their end..."
"No, they know."
"What?"
"They..."
She closes her eyes to try and hold back the tears, but a few escape anyways. Draco doesn't think, and pulls her by the hand still in his, into his lap and wraps his arms around her.
Merlin I hate to see you cry.
"Is this okay?" He whispers it through the pieces of wild curls between his face and hers.
"Yes, don't let go. Tighter."
He obeys immediately.
"Thank, thank you for asking."
Shit, you should have asked before smothering her...
You don't have a right to her you fucker. Just because she is yours in your mind. Just because you have been fantasizing constantly about her being yours, doesn't make that true.
She isn't yours.
You are hers, but she doesn't need to know that.
But she said this was okay, take what she will give you.
Yes, what she gives you will be enough.
Anything she gives you is more than you deserve, and more than enough.
Anything she gives you is everything.
"I... I should have asked before touching you. I'm sorry."
He feels her turn her face into his chest and breathe in deeply.
"It's okay, Malfoy."
Draco looks up at Theo, remembering they aren't alone in the room, to see the shithead smiling at him and giving him two thumbs up. Draco twists one of his hands out from around Granger to give him the middle finger before twisting it around her again.
"They know that He Who Must Not Be Named still has me, and always has because he sends them his own personal memories of me."
The Dark Lord and his obsession with memories...
"Can you elaborate Hermione? He has us do something very similar after missions to ensure we are faithful servants and fulfilling the work. Does he use memories from when Dolohov brought you and put them in a vial?"
"He sends new ones every month, when he has you come before him. Right Granger?"
The last request from the Dark Lord was making a lot more sense now.
He feels her nod her head in agreement.
"They... they show things that... Do you know if The Order has received any of them?"
Theo and Draco both shake their heads.
"Like I said, no one except for the few people you mentioned have any idea that you are even alive. We had no idea any of this was going on."
Draco feels her body begin to shake slightly, and wraps his arms around her tighter than he was comfortable with, but she seems to like it.
"Theo, hand me another Draught of Peace."
Theo throws him a vial and Draco pulls away to give it to her. She takes it quickly and swallows it.
"I... I don't think I'm ready to talk about that yet. If that is okay."
"Of course. You never have to share anything you are not comfortable with."
He didn't think the exact images The Order had possibly seen would have much effect on his own actions or plans. What he needed to know was whether they had received them or not. If they had, then they knew she was alive days ago.
Why hadn't Potter and the Weasley Wanker done anything about it? Did they forget about her? Used up that magnificent brain of hers and dumped her to be destroyed by the Dark Lord?
"So you remember nothing of the Battle of Hogwarts?" Draco asks the tentative question, covered in wariness.
"No nothing. I remember standing next to McGonagall as she built ward after ward to protect the school, then the next thing I remember is... him."
How to respond?
He looks up and sees Theo giving him a knowing look. Draco discreetly shakes his head to stop his friend before he says something he shouldn't.
It wasn't safe for that conversation yet.
I would have to work with her on occluding first.
"Over the past 6 months, I have gathered I believe an overview of the events. The wards were broken, people fought, and Harry and You Know Who faced off and then The Order retreated. I know You Know Who didn't die obviously, and neither did Nagini."
"Why is the snake important?"
It was Granger's turn to freeze. She is holding back information. He knows it. But he'd be damned if he pressed her for anything at the moment.
"It's not. Just an observation. I, Malfoy... I need to know. Who... who is gone?"
He squeezes his eyes shut. He knew this question was coming, but it didn't make it any easier to share this information. He was about to see her hurt. And he was so fucking sick of having to stand by and watch her hurt.
"Colin, Lavender, Fred, Remus, Nymphadora, my mother, Crabbe, and Snape all were killed during the battle. Luna, Seamus, Cho and Goyle have died in the last 6 months."
One is gone because of you...
No... build the wall.
He feels as the grief takes over her body, grateful she had just taken a potion.
"Oh my gods, oh my gods... gone. They're all just gone."
She quietly sobs into his chest, and they sit in silence for a couple of minutes as they all process the information shared.
"I'm so sorry you lost your mother Malfoy."
He nods his head gently against the side of her face in acknowledgment. He honestly doesn't feel anything at the mention of his mother. He had buried her behind walls months ago. He had to.
Draco feels her take a deep breath and gently push against his chest. He releases his tight hold on her, and lets his hands fall to her waist. She is still in his lap, somehow she still has to look up at him. He never took in how small she was before. He likes it. He likes it a lot.
"Okay I have to stop crying. I can't keep thinking about it all, so now it's your turn. I know you have been doing more than buying me things these last two days. And I want to know what this 6 months thing is all about. Now."
She emphasizes her last point by poking him in the chest, and then he watches as the switch is flipped. Her eyes widen at her finger on his chest, and he lets go of her waist to allow her to crawl out of his lap and into the space between Theo and him.
"Even in a deep healing sleep you are more observant than Theo, Granger."
Theo apparently had decided to finish off Granger's soup in the midst of the conversation, as Draco hears the spoon drop into the bowl.
"Okay no need for the Nott slander. You bloody know I was aware you were doing more than shopping."
"So, what were you doing?"
Draco presses his tongue into the side of his mouth, and stares up at the stain in the ceiling Blaise had made during one of their drunken gambling nights. The fucker refused to clean it.
"Making arrangements."
He hears one male scoff, and one female scoff at his response.
Damn it, I most definitely just missed an eye roll.
"Care to elaborate?"
"I was summoned two days ago by the Dark Lord during one of his meetings. You were correct in your assumption that the Dark Lord is not pleased with Dolohov at the moment. He has been consistently failing him on a mission that deals with creating a form of a countercurse to bring back obliviated memories, presumably for you Granger. He gave him 6 months to find a solution. Until then, his punishment is he is not allowed to have you."
He hated talking about her like she was an object. Yes, he knew he was possessive, but he didn't objectify her. They weren't the same thing in his mind.
"I was suggested as a candidate to take you in due to my ability to use legilimency on you as another possible form of restoring your memories."
"You're a legilimens?"
He nods his head, "The Dark Lord agreed, and informed me of my new duties and mission. And I informed Dolohov that he will be going nowhere fucking near you ever again."
He watches as she turns her attention back to the ground, and wraps her knees inside his large t-shirt. She keeps staring at the ground, but her eyes are moving back and forth with the thoughts that are filling her mind. Theo does something similar sometimes. He changes his attention to his friend who had been mostly silent for the conversation, and sees a speculative look on his face.
He isn't buying it.
Damn it.
"There is more you aren't telling us. That all occurred at once. What else have you been doing? Why did someone suggest you as a candidate for me to be placed with? I highly doubt it was for no reason."
Why did he associate himself with two of the brightest fucking students in their year, hell in the whole fucking school?
"I did not push you to share more than you were comfortable with, even though I would like to Granger. I ask for the same in return."
No way in hell am I telling either of them.
She purses her lips, eyes still traveling back and forth. Finally, she lets out a huff of air.
"Fine. For now. I guess. I have to respect that."
"Thank you."
"So, are you going to be going through my mind then? Using legilimency on me?"
"Yes."
Her body does a slight jerk at his words. A jerk that takes her farther away from him and closer to Theo.
"But not to find some lost memory. Legilimency is not known to work for restoring memories. I plan to teach you how to occlude instead."
The Dark Lord had threatened him not to fail this mission, but he had looked into his request while looking into the magic used to make that collar around her neck. It had never been done before, and wizards and witches had tried to no avail.
Plus, with his current plan, he didn't see the 6 month deadline being of any concern.
It was the time in between that he had to prepare them all for, and teaching her to protect her mind would make his job of saving her much easier.
"Really? You would teach me?"
"Yes if you are going to help us with getting you out of here, and trust me we will need it, then I have to be able to discuss things with you that would be detrimental if the Dark Lord ever found out."
She stares at him and starts to smile slightly.
"So you do have a plan?"
"A very tentative one. But yes, and until you learn to occlude that is all I can say Granger."
She turns and looks at Theo who is placing the used dishes onto the tray to take back into the kitchen. He raises his head and places his palms up in the air.
"Don't look at me. You know about the same as I do. You're not the only one the bastard leaves in the dark."
He grabs the tray and stands up.
"How about you go take that bath Granger, let your wounds air out before we re-dress them. I'm sure the warm water will feel great as well. Also give you some time to let that big brain of yours process all this."
Theo places the tray in the crook of his arm, and extends his other one down to Granger to help her up.
"Draco, can you show her where everything is since you bought most of it?"
He nods as he stands and walks into the closet, he hears her follow.
"You bought me all this? Malfoy, you shouldn't have."
He looks around at the almost full closet, trying to see it from her perspective. He had to agree it was... a lot. He watches her take it all in.
I mean, if you want to keep wearing my shirts Granger, I will not object.
"I asked you yesterday about your size, but bought certain things in multiple sizes. Oh and here."
He walks over to the open shelves on the left, and grabs the shampoo he had bought and hands it to her.
"Is this right?"
She takes a moment and looks at the bottle. Holding it in two hands as if it was the most precious thing she had ever been given.
"You went into a muggle store?"
He rolls his eyes, "Granger, we both know my previously held prejudices were never my own."
"I know, I know, that, that's not what I meant. What I meant to say was..." Her eyes start moving back and forth again rapidly. "Thank you, thank you Malfoy. Yes this is what I used to use."
Thank Merlin... If I had to go back to that store and deal with those people again. It may have killed me.
He turns and grabs the new flannels he had bought and hands them to her.
"Feel free to pick whatever you want to wear, it is all yours. There is a robe on the back of the door as well. I'll go get the bath ready for you."
She walks over to the assortment of clothes on hangers and spots the jeans.
"You got me jeans? You always made fun of me for my muggle clothes."
He smirks, "making fun of you in those, should be a crime worthy of Azkaban."
He pauses, wait what the hell?
Draco, you can't say shit like that outloud to her damn it!
He is mortified with himself. He will never be able to look her in the face again.
"My arse does look nice in them doesn't it?"
Leave.
Leave.
Leave now you idiot before you say something you shouldn't.
"Precisely."
You didn't...
Just walk out now.
He doesn't look at her as he turns and heads for the lavatory. Like the rest of Theo's rooms, the loo is obscenely decadent, with gaudy decor covering every blank surface. No matter how many times he told Theo that a lavatory did not need drapery or multiple gold cased mirrors, he didn't listen.
Every man had his vices. Draco's happened to be in the next room.
The one nice thing about Theo's tastes was the bath. It is basically a pool, sunken into the ground rather than sitting atop it.
Granger would love it.
He turns the nozzles to just a bit past comfortable for him. Her body was always warm so he suspected she liked it a bit hotter than he did. He dumps some of the other soap into the water and watches the bubbles mound.
He hears the door shut, and sees Granger standing there in the robe he bought her with her selected clothing and towels in one hand, and his t-shirt in another.
"I am guessing this is yours due to the size."
She extends her hand with the t-shirt she had been wearing to him. He takes it, hoping it smells like her. And stuffs it into the pocket of his robe.
"Thanks."
They stand there staring at each other for a moment.
"So... Theo's rooms are a lot."
Draco lets out a quick laugh. He couldn't imagine what someone would think who had no idea how Theo operated, walking into these rooms.
"Yes well, Theo has been through a lot so..." He doesn't finish his sentence. It wasn't his story to tell. "There is a toothbrush on the vanity for you as well. It is red. Thought it was fitting."
She is the one to let out a small laugh this time.
"You know just because I was in Gryffindor, doesn't mean all my belongings are red, or that I even like the color."
"Well then, you are going to hate the mug I got you."
She walks over to look at the bath and sets the towels down next to it. Draco takes that as his invitation to leave. He turns to tell her that if she needs anything to call for one of them, but before he can say anything he sees her face. The fear is back.
"Granger?.."
What do I do?
Something more than standing here.
Go to her.
He walks up behind her and goes to grab her hand. To let her know she is here now, she is safe, to remind her that Dolohov would never do anything to her again.
His fingers graze hers and she grabs hold of them quickly and roughly. They are shaking.
"Gran.."
Before he can finish, she pulls the cord holding the robe up and unties it. The robe slides off of her shoulders quickly, and pools at the ground at her feet. She reaches back and grabs his hand again that is frozen where he had left it out of shock of what was happening in front of him. He instinctively closes his eyes, jerks his head to the ceiling, and tries to gently pull his hand out of hers.
"Granger, what are you doing?"
She's naked...
Keep your eyes shut Malfoy!
Something is happening right now.
She's naked...
This isn't Granger. Help her.
Like she is reading his mind, he hears her say in the voice that she uses when she has switched to the one filled with fear.
"Help me... Wash me please."
He feels her start walking forward pulling him towards the tub.
"Granger stop, you don't want to do this."
He hears as her body enters the water.
Granger's golden skin covered in sudsy bub...
Malfoy stop! Not the time!
Stop thinking with your dick and help her!
What do I do?
"Pets can't wash themselves."
Merlin, this was Dolohov's making.
She tugs on his arm harder, and with his eyes closed and head facing the ceiling, he doesn't know that he has reached the edge of the tub. His foot falters at the missing ground, and his body goes falling forward.
Keep your eyes shut Malfoy!
Suddenly, he is crashing into the hot water, his entire body submerges before getting his feet underneath him and standing up. Somehow, his eyes stay shut the whole time.
He coughs up the water loudly as he tries to take in a breath.
"Oh my gods, oh my gods..."
He can hear her start to cry. Small heartbreaking noises are leaving her mouth in a way he had never heard before, and he had heard her cry too many times already for a lifetime. These sound, sound broken, lost. He doesn't know how crying could sound like that, but it is exactly what she sounds like.
"Granger, are you okay?"
He keeps his eyes closed and up to the ceiling, wanting with his entire being to hold her.
Don't... not the moment.
"I... I... I'm so sorry Malfoy. I... I haven't washed myself in so long. I forgot. I forgot I could. I'm so sorry I'm so sorry, please, please don't be mad. Please."
Oh my gods, I have to stop this...
Fuck it.
He opens his eyes and looks down slowly. The deep tub and bubbles cover all of her intimate spots thankfully. He can only see her shoulders as they shake uncontrollably with her hands holding both sides of her head like she is holding it together. Tears are covering her face, and the small horrible noises keep escaping between her lips.
Was this part of the fuckers training he kept referring to? Did he not let her wash herself? Did he call her pet, is that why he didn't know her bloody name? Did he only allow her to get clean if he did it? He should have Avada'd the fucker, damn the consequences.
She's broken. Dolohov broke her.
No. No she isn't. She is the strongest person you know. She rode a bloody dragon, and endured your fucking crazy aunt, and kissed that red headed idiot without throwing up.
She isn't broken, she just needs help.
Help her.
"Granger, stop apologizing now. You have nothing to apologize for. What... What do you need me to do? How can I help?"
He starts treading through the water towards her, his hair falling into his eyes with the weight of the water.
"Can, Can I touch you?"
She nods her head in confirmation without opening her eyes or looking up. He reaches out and places both of his hands over hers that still are encased on each side of her head.
"Granger look at me."
She hesitates for a moment before opening her eyes, and looking up at him. Her eyes are swollen from the tears, and her mouth seems to form the same word over and over again.
Be soft... Remember. Be soft...
Be soft in the way only she brings out in you.
Say what you wish someone would say to you.
"I am so sorry that you went through what you had to go through. I am so sorry that it happened to you. I am so sorry that it is still with you. But you are not alone anymore, and you are not surrounded by the people who were hurting you. You are safe Granger."
Her hands go limp under his and they fall into the space between them. He stands there holding her head not knowing how to convince her of her magnificence, even in this moment of brokenness.
"You are strong Granger. You are brilliant Granger. You are too good for this world Granger. Even now, even right fucking now when you are lost in what he did to you, in all the pieces he took from you. He didn't take those you hear me? No matter what, no one will ever be able to take those."
Draco watches as she steps in between his outstretched arms, and leans into his chest with her arms curled in between them. He wraps his arms around her for the second time that day, and completely forgets that he is fully dressed, soaking wet, in a bathtub with a naked Granger in his arms. None of it matters, because he knows she just fought another battle and won.
I'll help you win the war, Granger. I promise.
One battle at a time.
"Thank you Malfoy."
"You're welcome Granger."
He feels her body relax slowly as he continues to hold her.
"This isn't awkward. Why isn't this awkward?"
She's right. This should be incredibly awkward. He should be much more mortified than he was earlier when he found out she had overheard the conversation about her undergarments, but found he didn't have the slightest feeling of mortification.
"I... I don't know."
He feels her nod her head.
"Thank you again Malfoy. You have been so kind to me."
He squeezes his eyes shut at all the unkind memories that surface with that implication.
"For all the times I wasn't Granger. I plan to make up for those for the rest of my life."
"I have already forgiven them Malfoy. You know that."
No...
She couldn't forgive him. That couldn't have been true back in 6th year. It couldn't have been that easy.
What was she saying? She must have switched, the heat must be mixing with the potion to make her not think clearly. Because there was no way in hell even she could forgive him for all the horrendous things he had done to her.
He had made fun of every single thing about her.
Her hair (which he found his eyes always drawn to from the first time he saw her on the Hogwarts Express. He always preferred brunettes and she was the reason why).
Her teeth (She must have fixed those or grew into them, because they didn't bother him at all anymore).
Her clothes (Well, he already had expressed his true thoughts about those earlier).
Even her brain (Which if he was being honest with himself, which he rarely was, was probably the most attractive thing about her).
He had realized some time ago he obsessed over her because he was in denial. He had been attracted to her for a very long time. He had actively wanted her for years, and now he found himself needing her more than anything else in the world.
But growing up with all the beliefs of his parents and society surrounding him and pushed upon him, he had hated himself for being attracted and wanting something he was told he should never want.
So he took it out on her, like the bastard he was.
All that, he could see someone forgiving, maybe, but she could never forgive him for calling her that word. For saying it with such hate and purpose. Did he ever truly believe in the blood purity nonsense? No. But was he responsible for his cruelty within that ignorance? Absolutely.
There was no excuse, there was no reconciliation after he had stooped so low to hurt her to make himself feel bigger, better.
That's what the Weasel does, not me. Never again.
He had made the decision to never do that to her again days later after 4 nights of no sleep. He came up with a grand plan to treat her better, and hopefully gain some of her attention back over the next few years of school. He planned to be subtle about it at first, and see how she reacted. Everyone knew she was in love with Weasley for some reason he would never be able to fathom, and he knew even then, that he would never be worthy of her love. But he convinced himself that he was fine with settling for fire filled banter, intellectual stimulation, and eye rolls.
All the eye rolls in the world.
That's all he needed from her. That would be enough. Anything was better than her hating him, truly hating him.
His plan was full proof, but that summer, when he returned home to a mansion filled with some of the scariest creatures to ever walk the earth, his plans had to change. Keeping her safe became the priority. Keeping her alive was the focus.
Some things never change.
"Don't say things like that to me."
"Why not? It's true."
"Because Granger, it shouldn't be."
"You do not get to tell me what I can and cannot forgive Malfoy. I forgave you a long time ago for your foolishness and ignorance. Take it."
His bloody witch...
Utter perfection.
"Okay thank you."