Everything hurts. Everything has hurt for so long she doesn't remember a time when every breath wasn't a consistent battle.
Don't do it. Your lungs can hold out a bit longer. You haven't even made it 60 seconds.
Remember? At 60 seconds you can take a breath if you want.
But why do you want to?
Let's just stop.
It hurts anyways.
It all, always hurts...
She feels skin touching her, creating little areas of pain more intense than the rest of her body. But skin is touching her skin again, she can register that through the fog of pain in her mind, she doesn't want to feel it.
Please just go unconscious again. Please, you know it's easier.
She wills her mind to give in to the pain, but she has always been a stubborn one. The skin touching her moves slightly, and she lets out a raspy whimper as the pain on her right side seers into the back of her skull and into her nostrils.
"Shit, Granger I'm sorry, sorr... shit... why didn't I do this to start with..."
The skin touching her disappears and a cold surface under her shocks her fever infected skin as another small whimper leaves her.
She is only placed on the cold for a second before something soft is wrapped around her and it feels like she is floating.
I'm going to pass out again. Please Merlin let me pass out again...
But of course she doesn't, the pain keeps weaving throughout her body as she feels like she is floating.
It's time to take your next breath.
Do you want to pet?
No. But you know you are going to make me...
She takes a breath in and the pain magnifies. She groans and feels her head lob to the side.
"We're almost there, we're almost there Granger." The voice makes its way through the fog. It sounds familiar. She can't place it, can't put a face to it. But a lot of the voices she hears are familiar. She knows it is a males voice. Different then the one from earlier. Who was he again? She knows, she knows who it was. It is right there at the tip of her tongue, but it won't form...
She feels herself being placed on something soft. It forms around her broken body as she falls deeper into it.
It's a bed.
No...
She jerks her head upwards and opens her eyes too quickly.
Get on the floor. Get on the floor.
She hears the pain in her ears as her eyes adjust from the pitch black room she was in, to the naturally lit room she is in now.
"No, plea.." she can't finish as her jaw locks up and a white light covers the vision in her left eye for far too long to be okay.
She hears shuffling to her left and a shadow enters her periphery.
"It's okay, It's okay Granger, I need you to open your mouth..."
Open your mouth...
Nonononono....
Tears fill her eyes, and her body starts to shake as she obeys.
"Okay good, great, yeah okay, you are going to feel a tingle here for a few seconds but it'll... shit you know all this. Draught of Peace Granger, that's what I'm using."
She doesn't know what the male voice is going on about. She knows nothing but the pain. A warm liquid enters her throat, and she halts breathing, and stares up at a ceiling that has a curious stain in the one corner. She doesn't recall getting to this part of it already.
It is almost over if you want it to be. Just swallow.
She continues to hold her breath, and hold the warm liquid in the back of her throat.
"Granger you need to swallow."
Swallow...
She contracts her throat, and feels the warm liquid pool in her stomach. A warm shiver takes over her whole body. That isn't normal. She isn't sure whether that is a good sign or bad.
"Good, good okay, shit okay. Now.... shit.... Shit... why are people dying around me all the bloody time!"
Out of nowhere she feels her lungs filling easier. Her body isn't shaking anymore.
Weird.
"Okay now Blood-Replenishing Potion Granger."
More warm liquid in her throat. Was there another person present? This was all happening too fast. Was she going unconscious in between? She feels calmer than she has in quite sometime so why was she going unconscious? Maybe this is what dying feels like.
Finally...
"Granger, come on you need to swallow."
She swallows.
"Okay now, dittany and skele-gro and murtlap and... shit... yeah skele-gro first. Yeah, yes. Oh no shit no, pain suppressant first you git."
Another warm liquid in her mouth. Somehow through all the pain she was going to throw up from this.
"Swallow."
She does.
Within seconds the fog that she had been under for what felt like forever starts to pull back.
What is happening?
Her vision restores in her eye, and her mind can see her thoughts forming in a clear way unlike any she has felt in a while.
What is happening?
She must have said that out loud because the male voice responds.
"You're... a mess Granger. Those potions are taking care of some of the pain. Do you feel any better?"
She knows that voice. Yes it is the same name as the male from earlier, but a different person.
"Theo?" Her voice is raspy and guttural and honestly startles her. She keeps staring at the ceiling though. She doesn't have the courage to look at him.
This shouldn't surprise her. It really shouldn't, but Theo? He was always so quiet in school, never a bully like the rest of them, and extremely smart. If she was remembering correctly, he was second in their class right behind her. His favorite table in the library was three down from her own, and they both made a habit of giving each other a nod and quick smile when passing each other's favored spots. Both of them spent more time in the library than anywhere else, so they did it quite often. They never spoke though. She always thought they would have the time to get to know one another when they shared living quarters as Head Girl and Boy. Like a lot of things, that time never came.
"Yeah, yeah it's me. Okay, okay the pain potion must be working if you are able to talk, okay, okay... shit your body Granger..." She tenses at the words, and closes her eyes, not wanting to see what comes next.
"Okay skele-gro next, then dittany, then... then... these external wounds. Yes internal then exter...." He pauses mid sentence and freezes next to her. "Oh shit shit shit shi..."
She hears a door fly open, as Theo must be stepping out into the hallway. "Fritzy!!" A pop sound.
"Yes master? Oh you have found the new toy. Is it in need of maintenance.."
"What? Shit Fritzy seriously. She's a person she's a.... You know what, no time... I need you to go find..."
Her body starts shaking again and her vision goes. Fluid is filling the inside of her cheeks and she can feel trails of it dripping out of the corners of her mouth and through her nose. She tries to breathe but she can't through all the fluid.
"Tell him periwinkle! He'll know what it means and... oh shit... go go now!"
Her body is pushed onto its side and she immediately feels the fluid in her mouth and in her throat push outwards.
"Calm down Theo, calm down." She gasps as her airways clear enough. "Okay Granger I got to get that rib out of your lung now. This is going to hurt but the skele-gro, pain suppressant and draught of peace will help right after okay? Okay are you with me Granger? Granger? I am going to need you to keep this in your mouth. Bite down on it okay? Granger blink twice if you understand."
She stares ahead at a large fireplace with one huge Victorian chair to the side. The entire mantle is covered in small unique items.
Is that a first edition Hogwarts a History?
"Granger? Hermione, are you with me? Shit... Okay okay. I'm... I'm sorry Hermione."
Her mouth is pried open and something is stuffed into it. Her horror is drowned out by the item.
Theo comes up behind her. She can feel his hand slip underneath fabric and touch her stomach, an area that even after the potions is still radiating pain.
Not Theo... please please not Theo.
"Thought so, okay now like I said, this is going to hurt."
He places his hand back under the fabric, and she feels his fingers against her too hot skin.
Something in her snaps and she jolts, using all the strength she has gathered from the quick interlude of pain to drag her body away from him. The lunge takes her flying off the side of the bed and onto the floor. Tears are spilling down her face as her hands reach the edge of the deeply embroidered rug in front of the fireplace.
"Bloody hell, Granger are you oka..."
"Please Theo please don't... don't do this to me... please... plea."
She keeps trying to drag herself away from him in the moments of silence following her desperate plea. She doesn't care that she was begging. She doesn't care that most of them got off more by this act of survival by her. She doesn't care that she has no pride left to stop her. She has to say it, the part of her that wanted to believe that people aren't inherently evil makes her say it.
"Fuck."
A shadow falls in front of her, and for the first time she looks up at him. His hair is longer than it used to be. Curlier too. Kind of like her own but less frizzy and more controlled. He isn't as thin anymore either, he was always so lanky in school, but it looks like he has grown into his height overtime. His eyes are the same olive green. Well one is at least. The other is sporting a pretty gruesome shiner.
He looks nothing like his father.
Those eyes would have you believing he is... innocent.
"Don't close your eyes Granger, please just look at me," She opens her eyes and stares, not realizing she had ever closed them. He is staring back at her with an intensity that terrifies her. "I promise you. I am not going to hurt you. I am not going to touch you beyond what is needed to heal you. Granger look at me. We have been busting our arses off trying to find you, and make sure you were safe okay? Okay? Granger, are you listening? I am healing you. I want to save you."
He wants to save me? Heal me? This has to be a trick. Another game.
He is looking at her though with an expression of complete desperation and sincerity.
I can trust him...
That's what her gut tells her, but her brain has other ideas.
His potions are working. You feel clearer than you have in a long time. Let's see how this plays out. What are your other options?
Run... Ha...
Fight... HaHa...
Give in... There you go pet.
She looks up at him again and gives him a faint nod to try to convince him that she is listening. That is all he needs. He lets out his breath that he must have been holding and gets down on his knees in front of her.
"Okay stay on your side like this, and here put this back in your mouth. Like I said this is going to hurt, but I will put another dose of pain suppressant, and skele-gro down you as soon as it is over okay? And then I may need your help figuring out what needs my attention the most."
He looks down at her and two large dark curls fall between them. He quirks his head to the left to push them out of the way.
He could use an elastic.
He disappears for a moment, and brings back a handful of potions and ingredients. "Okay okay, I think I have everything I need from what I can see. May need more dittany, but I think..."
Theo apparently talks when he is nervous she observes. She is making him nervous. Well the state of her body is making him nervous. That was a nice change of pace. Her body is scaring someone else, rather than the other way around.
Rather than the others scaring her,
Coming closer to her,
Binding her,
Training her,
Kicking her,
Slapping her,
Touching her,
Suffocating her,
Using her.
Oh no.
"Theo!"
Her fearful realization makes her body start shaking again. He looks down at her from the line of potions he is organizing next to her head for quick use. She propels her hand up to grab him by the front of his shirt to bring them closer.
"Cast a contraceptive charm on me now!"
His face goes from concerned, to confused, to frozen in mortification. His left arm comes up behind her as her body starts to shake worse holding her up against his chest as her words sink in.
"I... I.... shit.... I don't know how."
She starts to cry again, and lets go of his shirt in defeat, but he still holds her close. His eyes searching somewhere far away.
"I should know it.... All those damn nights memor.... But never thought.... Shit... I really do sound like a damn virgin.... Shit..."
"You say shit a lot."
She doesn't know why she whispers it. Maybe because this is the first conversation she has had with someone in a while. The first interaction where she actually feels like a person again.
"Nervous tick," Theo is still looking at a spot above her head, his mind elsewhere. His mouth is moving. Trying to figure out the problem before him.
"But he will know..."
His voice is barely a whisper, but his vision begins to return from wherever he went. He jerks his head back down to look at her, still holding her close.
"Granger someone else is coming to help me. Someone who wants to help you too, trust me okay? He can give you a contraceptive charm, he'll be here soon. But right now I got to take care of your ribs and your lung."
She nods and he lays her back down gently on her side, and positions himself behind her, placing one hand under the fabric.
"Okay you got it in your mouth... okay good... okay here we go..."
She hears a small noise, small enough to sound like a pillow dropping to the floor. A sound that should have been insignificant, but at the sound, her body starts to radiate in a pain she had never felt before.
"AAAHHHHHH," it is a mix of a groan and a scream. Before she has time to breathe, the fabric is pulled out of her mouth and warm liquid is in the back of her throat again.
"Swallow!"
She does.
Another warm liquid.
"Swallow!!"
She does.
Another warm liquid.
"Swallow!!!"
She does.
She still can't breathe. She can feel where her lung used to operate. She never noticed before that she could actually feel the space where her lung should be filled with the life given oxygen, but now that it is gone it has never been more obvious.
"Don't panic, don't panic, a couple more seconds and you should start to feel it. Look at me Granger for just a couple more seconds."
His eyes are fixed on hers.
They are nice eyes. Not the worst thing to be looking at as I die.
She wants to tell him a host of requests to fulfill for her after her death.
Make sure Crookshanks goes to the Burrow. It is like his second home anyways.
And Harry... it wasn't all for nothing.
Tell Ron she loves him.
Give her book collection to Hogwarts library.
Have her Oxford sweatshirt sent to her parents address in Australia. Even if they didn't remember her she selfishly wanted them to have a piece of her with them in their new life.
She opens her mouth to speak but finds it impossible with her lung caving in on itself. So she just stares back into those green eyes, and raises the corners of her mouth.
I'm ready.
The sound of the floo popping behind Theo, makes her body jump, and her lungs suck in a full breath of air.