I finally got off the pills
My infusions were working
So why, all of a sudden
Did I start hurting
I just want to live my life
Why do I lay awake at night
Thinking about my disease
When I'm a mere 19
More phone calls
Some blood work, too
The most embarrassing part
Is giving them my stool
A familiar feeling
As I close the sample jar
If the test wasn't called "fecal"
You wouldn't know what it is
I know my disease is chronic
I understand that part
As much as it sucks
I deserve the hurt
I can't help but feel
That in some way, somehow
This disease is a lesson
Crushing my mind to focus
At the end of each day
I feel my intestines churn
So, come on, life
Make me learn
Do I have it too easy
Have I caused this much pain
Does the world resent me
In the worst way
Am I destined to be here?
Awake and in pain
I feel lifeless
I am insane
For one stretch of time
I want to be healthy
I don't want to fight every day
Just to be me
IBD is in charge
There's no doubt about that
I just need to say
I'm sick of being sick