GFC Fifty One
Shuhua and Soojin eventually left before I did as soon as the rain stopped pouring. I was still waiting for her. She texted me earlier that she'll arrive soon. And as if on cue, Ryujin's navy green bike parked outside the café I was in. I immediately waved out to her to get her attention. With a wide smile, Ryujin half run inside the establishment and sat down on the chair where Shuhua was previously sitting.
"I'm sorry I'm late." I just nodded my head in understanding. I looked at Ryujin who was partly wet from rain. I sighed and instinctively fished out the handkerchief on the back pocket of my slacks. And I realized that, I couldn't really use this anymore on Ryujin, could I? I stared for a few seconds on the cloth on my hand. "That was Yeji's, right?" I looked up at Ryujin who just casually stole my drink and emptied the cup in a single sip. I raised an eyebrow at the question. How did she know?
"I mean, yeah?" I answered with an awkward smile. Ryujin nodded understandingly and leaned her back on the chair. "How did you know?"
"She have this distinctive sets of hankies since we were in high school. A combination of green, blue and purple. It was.. our favorite colors. Mine, hers and Chaeryeongie. There was also an embroidery of her name at the corner of it. I've seen it once when you're using it on me. Uhmm.. last week." Ryujin explained as I became silent. "And you've been carrying it around. I'm surprised you didn't returned it to her. May I.. ask why?" I felt my eyes widened at Ryujin's question. Why am I keeping it around? I had the same question before but..
"It always comes in handy. And.. she gave me this when I was having some.. sort of difficult time." Yes. You were jealous of the pink nerdy girl that Ryujin kissed during CBA party and drunk your ass to death. How shallow of you, Lia.
"I see." Ryujin repeatedly nodded her head while scanning my face intently. It actually made me uncomfortable a bit so I had to look away. "You're not.. having some sort of crush with.. Yeji, are you?" E-ehh? Ehh?! Me? Crushing on Hwang Yeji? I mean, Yeji is definitely a catch. She's smart, talented and stunning. I'd be lying if I was to say it didn't crossed my mind. But, it never came close to how attractive I fine Ryujin was.
"Nope. She just looks like an ideal friend, you know? She's a good listener and all. But, I don't. And did not. Had a crush on her I mean." I answered honestly. Not when I have you. I sighed at how bold my thoughts these days were. It's making my head throb in pain.
"Good. I mean, I see." Good? I chuckled at how Ryujin's became pale from embarrassment and then turned to crimson red. She cleared her throat and posed a small smile. "I'm surprised you don't have questions in regards of my past relationship with her. Did you two talked about it? I've been meaning to ask but I figured you might need time to.. process, I guess." I snorted at her. Isn't it funny how we practically switched roles here? It used to be me who talks a lot and complains about most trivial things.
"Would you be willing to answer me?" I asked rhetorically. Ryujin sighed and hummed short after. "I just feel like.. Yeji wasn't completely honest with me when we talked about you. Is it okay to say that?" It has been nagging me. Especially the night of my birthday when we walked off. We didn't talked about it. I mean, we kind of talked about Yeonjun but not.. Yeji. I was too scared to ask. What if.. what if she still like her? If you would ask me, I'm sure Ryujin did felt something towards the cat eyed girl before. Who knows. Maybe until now. Who am I to ignore the possibility of it, right.
"I know she won't tell you the whole story though. Why I cut her off after.. my contract with her." I knew it. Yeji only told me about her thing with Ryujin during high school and never mentioned about her relationship with Ryujin on the span of three months. She might have said something about the corporation knowing her too well. She was offered to date Ryujin if she agrees to be Chaeryeong's first client. Her contract was delayed for over a year because.. I assume it was because of.. Zephora, after she dated Yeonjun. My asshole of a cousin. And then Hyunjin who used connections to be Ryujin's first official client. But she never said a single detail about her time with Ryujin in that three months. Also, she didn't directly said that she was Ryujin's second official client and ex-girlfriend. It was.. strange. And I wanted to know why. But.. do I want to ask?
"Are you okay with telling me? I don't mind if you're still not ready." I asked with caution. I wanted to be as considerate as I can. Even though I'm dying to know as well. Ryujin smiled softly. It was an enigmatic smile. I couldn't figure out if it was a yes or no. But she stood up just after and held out her hand on my direction. So.. she still don't want to tell me.
I was disappointed that she didn't voluntarily told me but I understand. I can still wait. And I know I'll find it out soon.
"Let's go. Zephora and Heejin Unnie told me to bring you home along and introduce her properly. I've been wanting to bring you there honestly." Ryujin said with a hint of excitement in her voice. Now that I think about it, I haven't been able to visit their apartment. So I enthusiastically nodded my head completely forgetting about the whole Yeji ordeal.
"Pfft. You only told me that now because?" I asked with a giggle.
"Because I was wondering if you're still just as curious about me as before. If you were still just as intrigued and.. as interested in me as before. I guess." I felt my smile dropped at her statement. That's why she was a little bit hesitant earlier. Ryujin's smile was an imitation of that enigmatic smile earlier. And I'm starting to hate it. A surprise since I always loved her smile. I reached out over the table and placed it over her hand.
She didn't looked at me. Her stare was solely fixated on the window pane. And with a solemn expression. I didn't know how to console her with words since we never really talked about.. us. Am I relieved? Yes. But I'm sad at the same time. Why only now? A week before our contract ends. Without telling me what's going to happen after this. I have some issues myself that I'm too scared to address with her. Because I don't want to be overbearing.. and I just simply don't want to be the first one to initiate the subject. How could I if she wouldn't lay out some plans in the future with me? Then I felt my hand tightening its hold on Ryujin's hand as if I was desperate for a mere touch. And all of a sudden, a lump on my throat surfaced causing for me to back away a little. Realizing that I was getting choked up, I immediately composed myself and exhaled loudly. I stood up and took Ryujin's hand and pulled her up.
"I still am. Trust me." I said and squeezed her hand softly. Lifting my hand and resting my palm on her cheek, I planted a quick peck on the side of her lips and pulling her towards the exit. "Let's go. Zephora must have been waiting for us." For some reason, I couldn't bare to look at Ryujin's eye. You'd be surprised how much it actually bothers me, Shin Ryujin. And it scared the shit out of me.
---
The ride was incredibly slow in my opinion. And I used to love how the open faced helmet would let me feel the cold breeze of the air. But now, I couldn't really appreciate it all. Noticing how rapid my heartbeat was and creating a small distance between Ryujin and I so she wouldn't notice. My head was in jumble. As much as I was craving for affection from Ryujin right now to calm down, I can't do it. I sighed and just let it be. Waited for us to arrive in their apartment.
As if on cue, Ryujin parked outside a fancy looking and a mid sized house. This is a little too big for three people I know but most of the houses in their subdivision was basically mansions. Good thing they were living in a safe neighbourhood. I quietly hopped off the bike and waited for Ryujin.
"Let's go inside." Ryujin said and swiftly intertwined our hands together. I wasn't able to take a look on her expression as she already walked ahead of me while dragging me. I didn't said anything and just let her be.
As we stepped inside, I felt the familiar sense of.. home. How warm it was but not the bad type of warm. It was very comfortable and.. welcoming. It almost seemed like it was filled with comforting things. Unlike when I visit our family house, I always felt tense upon stepping a foot in there. Knowing that Ryujin spent most of her time in here, having her adorable interactions with her daughter. It was too much for me to take. As if on cue, I've heard the distinctive high pitched voice of the kid that was running towards us.
"Mommy!" She said and basically threw herself on Ryujin. She effortlessly lifted up the toddler on her arms using her free hand. Never letting go of my hand. Kissing the kid's cheeks with a wide smile, she looked back at me and smiled. "Hello, Lia Unnie. You're just as pretty as before." Geez. The child was just as smooth as her mother, huh? I chuckled slightly and pinched the kid's cheek softly.
"How was your day? Have you eaten?" Ryujin asked while peppering more kisses on the child's face. Earning a childish giggle from the kiddo.
"I'm hungry. Can you cook for me?" I instinctively chuckled at the request. Zephora looked at me with a confused expression.
"It's okay. I'll cook for you." I shuffled Zephora's hair and softly kissed her cheek. I smiled at Ryujin who seemed.. worried. Pfft. I just shrugged to tell her it was fine with me. I walked around to look for the kitchen and luckily, it wasn't hard to find. It's just like the usual houses. The living room and the kitchen are just separated by doors. I let myself feel at home and casually opened the refrigerator to look for something to cook for dinner.
There are tons of ready to fry meat and so I pulled out a pack of marinated chicken. Some vegetables to balance with the grease and took some microwavable rice.
As I was cutting the vegetables for the salad, I felt some presence behind me. I smiled.
"Ryujin--" I started and turned around to see Heejin instead. "Oh. Sorry." I swiftly apologized as she just smiled at me.
"It's okay. Ryujin is upstairs. Taking Zephora for a half bath." I just nodded my head and went back to cutting the veggies while still attending on the chicken at the non stick fry pan. "You're really pretty. No wonder Ryujin really like you." I turned to her who casually sat on one of the stool while looking at me with an unreadable expression.
"Excuse me?" I blurted out in reflex.
"Ryujin likes you. But I don't. At least for my sister, I don't think you're good for her. I'd probably like Hwang Yeji more. Even though she's very impulsive and rash when it comes to most things. Especially with Ryujin." Oh. Heejin gave me a once over and raised an eyebrow. Wow. I felt being scrutinized and judged under her fierce gaze. If I remember correctly, this isn't how our first encounter was like. It was nothing like this. And I thought she's really sweet. And one of a kind. Turned out she's got some.. pent up anger towards me, huh? And why is that?
"If you really like Yeji, why don't you date her instead?" I sarcastically spat back and I realized how it was full on mockery. Lia, you're in their territory. Heejin laughed. It was almost a hysterical laugh. It almost sounded a psychotic laugh in my ears and I felt weirded out. Then her face suddenly went blank as her laughter subsided. Okay. She just gotten full on Nanno from the Netflix series 'Girl from Nowhere'. This isn't how I envisioned my visit in here.
"I like Yeji for my sister. And I'm not into girls." She said with a scoff. I just sighed and tended on the things that I was cooking. "And I actually want my sister to stay at the GFC." Say what? She liked her sister staying in that shitty corporation? Why?!
"What?" I didn't mean it but my question turned out to be a sudden spat of anger than confusion.
"You see, she has to provide for Zephora, 'her' daughter. And I'm sure she understands that. Having to be with you would ruin that." Heejin said with an incredibly calm expression. The thing that Ryujin and her share on that manner, staying composed at nerve wracking situations.
"You realize that's Ryujin's decision if she would want to quit being in the corporation, right? And it's her last year in college for Pete's sake. She's smart and I know that she would be able to provide for Zeph even if she is not in the GFC." I argued bitterly.
"So you do hope that Ryujin would quit for you. Don't even bother." Heejin countered with a sarcastic chuckle.
"You know, I find it really strange.. and fishy. I find 'you' fishy." I said as I turned off the stove and faced her completely. With an eyebrow raised, I looked at her now nervous state. "You might be her sister but, you don't get to decide what Ryujin has to like and what's not. Why are you so desperate on getting Ryujin to stay at the corporation anyway? Are you hiding something?" It was my turn to scrutinize her as I thought there was a slip up on her demeanor. A petrified expression.
"Stay out of my business, Choi Jisu." Heejin hissed and glared at me.
"Then stay out of mine. Thank you very much." I sarcastically answered and thrown the apron at the kitchen counter. "Ryujin is a grown ass woman. She can decide on her own. Maybe you should stay out of her decisions as well. That way, the weight on her shoulders would be lessen. If you know any better as her sister, she deserves happiness." I said not breaking an eye contact with her.
"I do know better than anyone else, Choi Jisu. I know what's good for our family and you don't. Don't tell me what to do." With that, the latter walked off with without waiting for me to respond. I just heard the front door slamming shut a little too hard and as if on cue, Ryujin walked in on the kitchen with a perplexed expression. Behind her was Zephora who was also looking at me in confusion.
"What happened?" Ryujin asked as she was looking at the now closed shut door where her sister walked off to.
"I'm--" I was about to answer when I was suddenly cut off by my phone. I looked at the other two to excuse myself as I walked at the corner of the kitchen for privacy.
"Mom?" I answered as I answered the phone.
[Where are you? I've sent Albert in your apartment to fetch you but he said you weren't there?] My mother asked her voice was still laced in authoritarian tone.
"Uhm. I'm in Ryujin's house.. with her sister." I looked at the other two who was already starting to lay out some plates on the table.
[Your father and I are in town. We're having a dinner with some business partners and they want to meet you. Don't worry, Yuna is here.] She explained. I sighed. Yuna's didn't even bothered texting me in advance. Mom hates texting as well. She would just straight up call you if she wants to talk to you. No natter how trivial it is.
"Oh. Okay. Just send me the address of the restaurant and I'll be there." I responded quickly.
[No. Send me the address of Ryujin's apartment. I'll have Albert to fetch you there. Or why don't you just ask Ryujin to drive you here?]
"I'll ask Ryujin then. Bye." I said as I hung up the phone. "Ryujin?" I called for her as I approached the table. "I have to go. Mom was having dinner with some business partners and she wanted for me to meet them." I explained as I looked at them apologetically.
"Do you want me to drive you there?" She asked as I shook my head frantically.
"No, no. You don't have to. You can't leave Zephora alone." I refused instantly.
"Who said I'll leave her here? We can bring her along." I looked at the kid who was basically digging her face on the plate. I giggled at the sight and heard Ryujin sighed. "May I know where? I can only sleep if I know where you are." I shook my head at her question.
"You don't have to worry since I'm with my family and Yuna is there as well but, I just received my mom's text message and it said in a resto in downtown named S&H. First time hearing of it." I said with a shrug as I noticed Ryujin stiffened. "Why? You know the resto?" I asked creasing an eyebrow.
"Uhm.. I do." Ryujin answered after a few seconds of just staring at me. Okay? It's just a resto, right? "Shin & Hwang. It was my parents' and Yeji's restaurant." Oh. Not 'just' a resto, then.
Ryujin's Point of View..
"What will you say if I date Yeji after Hyunjin, Ryeong?" I asked with a small voice clearly worried about what's going to happen with our friendship if that happens. It's not a secret that she likes Yeddeong.
"More like, what would she say after you just disappeared past year ago, Jin." Chaeryeongie and I sighed in unison knowing too well that it was about.. Zephora. "Are you going to tell her about.. that?" I took a deep breathe and looked at the river under the bridge having some surge of relief upon seeing the calm stream. I shook my head. "You moved six hours away from our hometown and she basically looked for you for months, Jin. It's obvious that you're still the one that she likes even after dating me. I've accepted my defeat."
It was the best thing to do. And just three months ago, my sister and I were disowned for keeping the pregnancy a secret. And we have to get away. Also, as if I had a choice. Yeddeong was promised to date me if she says yes to Chaeryeongie which she did. It's been a solid 13 months since they broke up but still she haven't dated me. Partly because of Hyunjin and mostly because of me.. and Zeph. She's now six months and she needs more support than ever before. I don't get to say no to a client like Yeji. The corporation won't let me.
And it's been what? 16 months since I've left? Yes. I've witnessed them date each other. I just wasn't able to finish their contract as Yeonjun backed out on ours. And you already know why.
"Just face it, you don't have much of a choice, Jin. And, don't you think she deserves to know? I've been having a hard time lying to her face a countless times when she's asking your whereabouts." Chaeryeong complained for the nth time. But she never really tell anyone. To my request. She's the only person who knows about our.. problems aside from my sister.
"I know. I just.. can't imagine how she's going to react when she finds out." She would freak out. And would be mad, of course. A normal reaction from a best friend that you grew up together and was basically left alone clueless of the situation. She won't be happy. I genuinely thought that she would get over it. The contract with me, I mean. I thought that she's just going to forget it.. about me. Dang was I wrong. She have never gave up looking for me. I can't tell if I'm lucky to have her so in love with me or feel bad about standing her up all these months and feel so undeserving of it.
"She'll come around. She loves you." I still can hear a bitter tone on her voice but we can't do anything about it. 'I' can't do anything about it. "You did the right thing, Jin. But you also did some things that is wrong. Aren't we all? I wish you would be able to make right in the future. Maybe Yeji could help you. I know Yeji could. That girl can make the impossible, possible. She even made the only person that I thought would never be a sucker to fall for her. She made 'you' fall for her without even talking to her for such a long time. I didn't think such thing is possible, Jin. I firmly believed that you wouldn't. But here you are, clearly wanting to have a shot with her but scared and worried about me which is ridiculous. You've done enough, Shin Ryujin. I'll just have to accept it. You're in love with each other and who am I to stop it?"
I just hang my head low and bit my lip at Chaeryeongie's monologue. But soon, I fought up the smile that was threatening to merge up on my face.
Maybe I really should try.
---
"I can't believe we're almost three months now. I didn't even think that running after you for almost three years would get me a chance to be this happy with you. You asshole, why did you have to be such a hard to get, huh? We could have been happy for years now but no. You had to make me suffer and look for you for over a year." I chuckled at the childish complains.
"You're still sulky about that? I'm already here, aren't I?" I countered as I pulled her closer towards me. Circled my arms over her shoulders as we watched the sunset together.
"Psh. I'm glad you came back. And that time, you came back for me. Who would have thought not seeing me for more than a year would make you fall for me? You should've told me that in high school so I flew away to another country to make you miss me." Yeji chuckled as she rested her head on my shoulder. "And now we're a sophomore in college. Time sure does pass by fast."
"Yeah. Five years ago you're in love with me and now, you're obsessed with me." I snorted on my own statement and whined when I felt her pinch my side.
"As if you're any better. You used to tell us that you don't plan on dating anyone for the rest of yourself and now here you are, cooking for me in 2 am when I tell you I'm hungry. Waiting for my dismissal even though your out is three hours earlier than mine. Taking me out on a date almost everyday. Celebrating weeksaries. Seriously? Who does even do that aside from you, huh?" I felt my cheeks heat up at how cheesy I actually was. It was stupid.
"You're acting like you hate it but it's actually the exact opposite. You love it and you love me." I countered as I softly pushed her head off of my shoulder.
"I do and I'm not complaining. You should, bitch. You have to compensate for the whole time that you made me wait." Yeji playfully glared at my direction as she pulled the collar of my shirt.
"This is incredibly.. sexy." I unknowingly bit my lip as I looked at how.. dominating she looked.
"You perv." As she was about to pull away, I pulled her back and hugged the older woman tightly.
"I just told you you were sexy and I was a pervert? Geez. It was a compliment, Yeddeong." I said as I playfully bit the top of her head.
"You, asshole! That hurt. And don't even try to deny it. Your eyes were telling me otherwise. You think you're slick, aren't you? Well, you're not." I chuckled slightly but felt the air out of me escaping my body as she throw a punch on my stomach.
"Sadistic little demon." I muttered under my breath as I lied down on the grass while grasping for air.
"What did you said?" Yeji glared at me as I shook my head defensively.
"Nothing, nothing. I just said I haven't changed my mind that you're sexy." I surprisingly said without faltering.
"Battered girlfriend." And then she laughed hysterically. As I just watched her face under the sunset. It was one of the most breathtaking scenery I have ever seen. And I felt contented.
I trust her that she would still laugh like this if I tell her about the reason why I ran away.
---
I frantically paced back and forth in the living room while calling Yeji's number. I just woke up without a trace of her and I realized why. My sister and Zeph visited my own apartment that that was provided by the GFC. She found out about Zephora. And I don't know where to find her. I've been calling her non stop the whole afternoon but to no avail, she never once answered. And just a few hours ago, she turned off her phone and I can't reach her number anymore. I've called several of her friends in college but they don't know where she was. She didn't attend the whole day class too. Where the heck are you, Yeddeong?
One last time, I dialled one of her friends' number with a little bit of hope.
[Ryujin? To whom do I owe the sudden call?] I heard the fake excitement on Yena's voice. I sighed. I forgot that she was.. Yeonjun's cousin.
"Look, I can't reach Yeji. Have you seen her?" I asked slowly being engulfed in exhaustion. It went quiet for a while and so I checked if the call was still connected. "Hello?"
[I've seen her with Lee Chaeryeong earlier at the bar near the university.] I heard her sigh on the other line. Right. Chaeryeongie. Why didn't I think about her first?!
"Okay, okay. Thank you. I owe you one. Bye." I hastily hang up and fished my bike keys on the table. Running off of the apartment without telling my sister and driving off to Chaeryeong's apartment instead. But on my way there, I saw a flower shop and bought a bouquet of pink roses as a gesture of apology. She likes flowers. I sighed and continued strolling almost exceeding the speed limit on the way.
I was nervous. I can feel my nerves flying everywhere as I drove insanely fast. The supposedly 20 minute drive was cut off for 15 and to clarify things, I stopped over for almost 10 at the shop which was insane.
The front door wasn't locked and so I didn't have to knock. Tightening the grip on the bouquet of flowers. I took a breather for a few times to calm my nerves. Relax, Ryujin. Trust your girlfriend and your best friend. They won't do something behind your back. Never.
As I placed my keys and phone on the living room table, I heard something that almost confirmed my suspicion. Coming from the bedroom. I felt my body ran cold and felt my body stiffened at the muffle sound of her voice. I know it too well.
"Chaeryeong-ah." It's not an ordinary tone. I bit my trembling lip and felt my knees gave up as I slumped down on the couch. Staring blankly at the walls.
Feeling my insides dying, my chest trying to withhold the pain, forcing my head to stop throbbing. It was a never ending process. Feeling choked up, I just listened to the blissful sounds coming from the bedroom. I couldn't find the strength to walk off. I sat there quietly for I don't know how long. Feeling my tears dry off of my face until I can't feel anything anymore. It was that type of numbing pain. The worst betrayal I have ever experienced in my entire life. Would I ever be able to move on from this?
I felt myself smiling bitterly.
"Oh.."
Yeddeong, why? I understand you were hurt. I lied, I did. But it would never justify cheating. On the other hand, Chaeryeongie..
I can feel my eyes water again so I immediately blink the tears away. Don't cry, Ryujin. It's not worth it. If she can't accept Zeph, you don't have to force it upon her. If she cheated, it's her own decision. It's not your fault. None of it is your fault. Chaeryeong is in love with her still. Of course she would grab all the opportunities to be with her. No matter how wrong it was. You could be selfish when you're in love. And I don't blame her for that.
Yeji.. you've wasted so many years to make me fall for you and yet you cheated. What's the point of it all? It's all in vain now.
I didn't know how long I just sat there but the haunting noises stopped but it never made me feel better as I heard a shuffling sounds coming from the door and an argument started echoing the apartment.
"Are you just going to ignore the fact that something happened between us, Yeji?!" I heard Chaeryeong argued. 'Are you just going to ignore the fact that we haven't broke up?'
"For fuck's sake Chaeryeong we were freakin' drunk! It was not supposed to happen!" Yeji shouted back. 'You, seeing Zephora was not supposed to happen as well but here we are.'
"Are you telling me it was a mistake? You didn't feel anything? None at all?" The growing frustration on Chaeryeong's voice was daunting. It was the first time I've heard it from her. 'It was not a mistake. You both enjoyed it. It was obvious from the groans and moans that have occurred in your bedroom'.
"It is!" Yeji.. when did you become such an asshole? "I need to talk to-- R-Ryujin.." I heard the door of the bedroom opened. I did heard her whispered my name. And I did heard how both of them gasped. Realizing they were caught red handed.
"Now.. this is how friendships works. We get to share everything with each other." I said in an almost inaudible manner. Even I was surprised on how cold my voice came out.
"J-Jin.." Chaeryeongie said as I stood up and faced them. She took a step forward but stopped when she realized I was not having any of it.
"When I say everything it includes girlfriend.. right?" I don't know where I was getting all of the courage to tell them this but I was mad, sad.. and brokenhearted. "You could have told me first if you weren't comfortable about Zephora, Yeji. You could have broke up with me first before starting something new with Chaeryeong. I would have understand the situation. But, this? You could have told me. You should have. Then that way.. it.. it wouldn't hurt this much." Then I walked away. Without looking back at them. And the next thing I new, Yeji transferred out of the university. Without finishing our three month contract. We still had three days. So, yeah.
I was basically a common factor of relationship getting ruined. Or by the contract.
She never reached out. She never apologized. Maybe too guilty and well aware that I wouldn't forgive her. Chaeryeongie on the other hand, never left me. She apologized countless times. It was so hard. I was so hurt.
I was basically crushed.. because..
I genuinely thought of getting out of the corporation for her.
Maybe relationships was just not for me. And so I ended up not dating/having a client for two years after her. Until I met her.