HOTM Chapter 6
When I woke up I wasn't on top of Alex. I was under the blankets of my queen size bed. When I remembered what happened last night, I shut my eyes as tight as possible. I hated how I broke down in front of him. I hated how he touched my scars like he cared. He obviously didn't. If he did he wouldn't have left me after we hooked up. He wouldn't have left me when I fell asleep. I hated how through all of this I still loved him.
"Beck?" I heard someone call my name from the door way. I turned to see Alex standing there with his hands in his pockets. I didn't answer him. I just turned around and waited for him to continue. "Are you okay?" He looked upset.
"I'm fine" I answered before turning as I was laying on my back looking at the ceiling. I felt the side of my bed go down.
"Can you look at me?" I didn't "Fine I'll ask you anyway, why would you do that to yourself?" He asked. I finally looked at him.
"What are you talking about?" I asked. He wasn't looking at me.
"Your scars" He said. I just looked at him "I've seen them before but you never told me what happened"
"It's not something I enjoy talking about Alex" I said looking back at the ceiling.
"Why? What happened?" I felt his eyes on me.
"I don't want to talk about it" I answered wiping a tear away. "Just please stop asking"
"Baby please I want to help you" He grabbed my hand which I ripped away from him. I got out of bed and faced him.
"First off I'm not your fucking baby" I practically yelled at him "Second I don't fucking need your help. So please just drop it" I grabbed my cigarettes and lit one. I don't care if I was inside I needed one. Rian could yell at me later.
"What the fuck is causing this?" he asked me standing up.
"Nothing I just hate people asking me about my leg" I answered inhaling.
"This is still about last night isn't it?" I said before putting my cigarette out in the glass of water that was on my nightstand. I walked past him and headed downstairs just as Jack was walking in the house.
"You okay?" He asked when he saw me.
"I'm fine" I grabbed my sweatshirt and shoes before heading outside. Jack followed me to my car.
"Where are you going?" He asked
"Somewhere so either get in the car or get out of my way" I answered. He got in my car and I pulled out of the driveway.
I turned on my car when we got to the beach a few blocks away from my house. I lit another cigarette and waited for it.
"What happened Becca?" There it was. I continued to look straight ahead while still smoking.
"Alex pissed me off" I said exhaling the smoke.
"How?" He asked turning so his whole body was facing me.
"He brought up my leg" I answered. Jack knew about my leg. He was the only one who knew the reason why I did it. Rian didn't even know. "When I told him to drop it he didn't. He kept asking me why. What pissed me off the most was that he had called me baby. I'm not his fucking baby." I inhaled from my cigarette "When I told him to pretty much fuck off he brought up last night. He asked if that was why I was mad. I laughed at him and told him he was fucking hilarious and walked out of my room and found you and here we are" I finished talking and went back to smoking.
"If you tell him about your leg hw can help you" He answered.
"Thats what having sex with him was supposed to do. It was working until…" I looked at him before finishing "Until I realized that I feel like I love him" Jack froze.
"You what?" He asked with wide eyes "You think you love him?" I nodded while inhaling.
"I don't know how it happened but it did and now I feel like an idiot because it'll take a miracle for him to feel the same way about me" I felt the tears start to fall "I just can't take it anymore. Even looking at him hurts"
"This is what we're gonna do" Jack said "We're gonna go back to the house, I'm gonna go inside first and get Alex out of the house. Then I'm gonna make you some pancakes and you're gonna watch netflix and relax. okay?" I nodded and smiled at him.
"Thank you Jacko" I said hugging him before heading back to the house.
When we got back to the house, I stayed in the car and Jack went inside. After a few minutes Alex came out of the house. He looked pissed. His car was next to mine so he had to pass me. He looked at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes. I looked away from him and heard him pull out of the driveway.
Once I couldn't see his car I headed back inside. Jack was in the kitchen looking around for things to make pancakes.
"How did it go?" I asked sitting at the table.
"Well he's more mad at me than he is at you if that helps" He answered.
"It doesn't" I said putting my head in my hands.
"Please stop worrying about it" Jack said making me look up at him "He's mad because he thinks I want to sleep with you. He's jealous that we fucked once four years ago. Doesn't that make you think that he may like you as much as you like him?" I shrugged.
"I really don't want to think about it right now" I said
"Okay" He said going back to making pancakes. "By the way Anna will be here soon to carpool to class"
"Shit I completely forgot about class today" I said getting up "I'm gonna go get changed"
I ran up the stairs to my room. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a black v-neck from my closet. After I got changed, I put on some make up. I made sure it covered up the fact that it looked like I wasn't crying.
As I was putting my hair in a bun I heard my phone go off. It was Alex's ringtone. I really didn't want to talk to him so I ignored it.
I headed down stairs back into the kitchen. Anna was standing next to Jack while he was finishing the last pancake.
"Hey Anna" I said sitting down at the table.
"Hey girl you okay?" She asked sitting next to me.
"Yeah I'm fine just hungry" I answered which wasn't a lie. Jack handed me a plate full of pancakes before sitting down.
We sat there eating and talking when my phone went off again. Anna and Jack looked at me. I was just ignoring the phone and kept eating.
"Are you going to get that?" Jack asked. I shook my head no "Its him isn't it?" I nodded "Just talk to him please" I sighed and got up to answer the phone.
"What?" I said when I answered.
"Please can we talk?" He begged.
"About what?"
"I'm sorry I kept asking you about your legs. I should've just dropped it. I was just trying to help you" He really did sound sorry. I wanted to forgive him but I was scared that my feelings would grow and then I would be crushed when he didn't feel the same way "Can I come in?"
"Where are you?" I asked confused.
"Out in your driveway" He answered.
"Come to the door" I said walking towards the door. I opened it to see him standing in front of me. We both hung up.
"I'm so sorry" He said. He looked like he was about to cry. "When I see you in pain it hurts me so much because I know I caused most of it. Rebecca I wanna be with you. I want you to be mine" I was speechless. After a few seconds I smiled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smashed my lips against his.
When we broke apart we were both smiling and breathing hard.
"I love - BEEP BEEP!" My eyes shot open. It was all a dream. I shut off my alarm and turned on my back. I couldn't believe it was a dream. I didn't know what to do so I began to cry.
Hey guys!! I wanna let you all know that I love you and you're all awesome! Please keep telling me what you are loving about this story. Also tell me what you're not loving about this story if you have any issues with it.
Love all y'all
Rebecca <3