Tonight of all nights,
I met four strangers.
The most uncanny of sights,
They were game changers.
...
Let me tell it from the start,
Then you might just understand
and not take me for an old fart.
They were far from being bland.
...
I went to the pub,
Just for a pint or two or four,
And stayed for some grub.
Normally company I deplore.
...
I was busy on my fourth bitter,
Relishing the fine consistency,
Not that it does matter,
By then it affected my constituency.
...
In walked this tall lad,
All dressed in black,
Was just overly skinny a tad.
Came to sit with me in the back.
...
Now I am not very social and all,
So I said to him, "Tis my table."
He leaned against the wall,
Gave me the eye and said, "No trouble."
...
Now, I am a bit of a brawler,
But when he gave me the eye...
I knew he was a true fighter.
I tell yeah that is no lie.
...
Afore I knew we were joined by another,
Big strapping lad all in red,
I knew then already not to bother.
One blow and I would be dead.
...
Either side of me they sat,
No escape was my due
And my beer had gone flat!
Yip, tis totally true.
...
Now these here two could drink,
And pint after pint we slew,
I should've been drunker you'd think,
After drinking more than a few?
...
We were soon joined by a chap in grey,
Who partook not of our repast.
Odd chap, if I might say,
The pints sure did not last.
...
Fine Lass of a waitress, kept up the flow,
Whilst laugh I did at jokes a plenty
While all the drunker I did grow.
By then I must of had twenty.
...
Now, the forth, he was all in white,
A sickly bloke if ever I saw!
Of this I'm sure, as I'm usually right.
He made me sick to the core.
...
We drank for an hour more,
Then somber and solemn it all went.
Now I told them this I did deplore.
They actually allowed me to vent.
...
Sober me up they did,
With talk of doing their work.
I wish I could have hid!
They each had a nasty quirk.
...
The one in black was Death,
Who fiddled a lot with his watch.
Every now and then I'd take a breath,
So I would not kotch.
...
The second in red was War.
Who I realized, had a gun,
My fear had now come to the fore.
I was no longer having fun.
...
The third in grey was Conquest,
Always tossing a coin
And at his final behest,
I did agree that I would join!
...
Last but not least we had Famine,
Glutton if ever I knew one,
When it came to gammon.
Now, now I am almost done.
...
As luck would have it,
They meet at this pub every night,
As they can see fit,
To discuss the coming blight.
...
So you see luv, I have to go,
I agreed to join them,
I am the fifth horsemen you know,
Now do you see my problem?