***A/N i wrote this out twice bc my computer glitched. ;-; THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE READS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND 600K IS ENOUGH TO FILL THE O2 ARENA 30 TIMES THATS INCREDIBLE THANK YOU***
Phil sat on the edge of the bed. He had an idea. It was risky but it was worth it.
He poked his head out into the corridor and found the nearest nurse.
"I cant sleep." He said.
"Do you need someone to talk to? Are you okay?" She asked.
"Actually the doctor prescribed me some sleeping pills, could you get me them?"
"Sure, hang on." She smiled.
Phil waited by the door for a few minutes before she reappeared, holding a bottle.
"I know youre not supposed to allow this but can I just read the back of the bottle? I hate taking pills, especially when I dont know whats in them." He asked.
"I dont think I can let you do that..."
"Please? I wont tell! And I'll be standing right here," he asked again.
"I guess..." She slowly handed over the bottle and Phil studdied the back. He looked at the nurse before closing his door and locking her outside.
"Shit! Phil I need the bottle back please, I'm not allowed to leave you with it!" She knocked on the door.
"Im sorry" He said.
He sat down on his bed and found a bottle of water.
He opened the bottle of pills and swallowed as many as he could.
He felt sick- The tipe of sick he felt when he met Dan for the first time at the train station.
He took a deep breath and unlocked his phone. He opened the YouTube app and pressed upload. He couldnt go without saying goodbye.
He pressed record.
"Hey guys. Thats the last time I'll ever say that-" He said to himself. He started to cry.
"I need you guys to promise me that if you ever feel like you cant go on, you'll talk to someone. You have eachother, you have friends and family, please reach out to them. Promise me you'll look out for each other now Dan and I have gone.
By the time you watch this I'll be gone. I took a whole lot of pills..." He laughed to himself.
"I dont know why I'm laughing, I guess it just doesnt feel real." He rubbed his eyes. He felt heavy, like is limbs were made of lead.
"Im sorry. Bye guys."
He pressed the end button and uploaded the video. He looked over to the door and noticed the nurse had gone. Probably to get someone to break the door down.
He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes.
He felt terrible. Like his lungs werent working. He needed some air. He tried to move but he couldnt. The back of his throat burnt almost as bad as his stomach.
"Phil you didnt have to do this." A familiar voice spoke. "I'm always with you. Maybe not physically but Im there," Dan said.
"Im sorry Dan. Youre not there to help me. I cant do it." He slurred. Everything felt like it had been slowed down.
"I love you Phil. I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy now I have you back,"
"You didnt have to give up just to be with me Phil," Dan sighed.
"I couldnt do it. Not on my own." Phil mumbled. He felt like he was going to be sick but he couldnt move.
"I missed you Phil. I love you," Dan smiled.
"I love you too."
Phil heard banging on the door. Banging and screaming- Then nothing.
***
*** A/N THANKS FOR READING MY BOOK SORRY IT WAS SO SAD (no im not :P) I LOVE YOU ALL***
please if anything in this book applies to you, seek help. i know it can be hard but i know you can do it <3 heres a list of suicide hotlines for around the world. i love you! http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html