Chapter 41
For the first time in what felt like forever, I slept well that night. I didn't have any nightmares. I actually didn't even remember my dreams once I woke up.
I felt rested.
Once I got to school, I found Lexi quickly, walking side by side with Daphnee and Alex.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn't actually feel like throttling Alex.
She didn't love him.
I had said so many things last night, opened up about such a sensitive subject for me, that I hadn't really taken the time to process what Lexi had also shared with me.
That she had apparently never felt like she loved Alex.
I had always thought that deep down she still loved Alex, still pined for him the way I pined for her, and because of that it would be almost impossible to have her love me instead. After all, I knew how useless it was to get me to love anyone else but this girl.
But I had been wrong apparently.
I didn't need to fight with Alex for Lexi's affection. I only needed to fight with my own lack of self-worth.
I walked up to Lexi from behind and leaned closer to her ear, pinching the side of her waist, and said "boo."
Lexi squealed in surprise, turning around to. "God, Blake, you scared me," she said, laughing. Unsurprisingly, she also punched me on the chest. There was no real strength to it though.
I grabbed her hand before she could let it drop off my chest. "So unobservant, aren't you Pumpkin?" I told her teasingly.
"Yeah, I think we both clearly know I am now," Lexi answered her hand still in mine. She didn't seem to mind.
I wasn't going to drop her hand as long as she wasn't letting go of mine.
We smiled at each other. The bell rang. "Come on let's go, we'll be late," I told her, and headed to our Chemistry class, her hand still in mine.
And my Pumpkin just followed me.
Once in the classroom, I made my way to a desk. Dishearteningly, I dropped Lexi's hand at that point, because I assumed we couldn't hold hands throughout the whole class.
I felt giddy. And hopeful.
For the first time in what felt like forever, I actually thought my unrequited feelings had a glimpse of a chance of being reciprocated.
I really hadn't learned my lesson over the years.
The teacher started to give the class.
Lexi was sitting beside me and I wasn't holding her hand anymore, but she cared about me, that much was obvious.
And I liked her.
When the teacher wasn't looking, I poked Lexi on the side with my finger.
I had issues, okay? I just wanted to touch her all the time.
If I wasn't poking her, I was throwing little pieces of paper at her to get her attention, or nudging her with my elbow, or tapping her foot with mine.
Lexi kept telling me to look in front and concentrate.
She'd told me she didn't love Alex yesterday though, so she should assume this was going to be my behaviour today.
She'd made a desperate man hopeful.
I wasn't in Lexi's class for the rest of the morning, but I saw her again at the cafeteria.
The guys were talking about the school trip and what their plans were. I didn't understand why they were still debating on whether to go camping or staying in the camp.
I picked functioning bathrooms over hole on the ground or out house every time.
Instead, I just looked at Lexi. She was joking around with the guys, but she also seemed to be eating less than usual. I wondered if she was feeling okay. Usually, she'd be wolfing down the content of her tray. She took no prisoners when it came to food.
Maybe she wasn't that hungry today. That would be a first.
"Who can predict weather?" Dwayne said, talking with the guys.
"Are we really talking about weather now? It's like the most pathetic I have no subject to talk about so I'm settling on a safe topic topic," I told him, a little unimpressed with my friends.
I shouldn't really be surprised though. They didn't know s'mores. My friends were idiots.
I took this opportunity, with Lexi's eyes on me, to snatch a carrot from her plate. Maybe if I annoyed her a little she'd get hungry again.
"Hey! Who told you, you could eat my food?" Lexi said, but I was already munching on the carrot, with a grin.
"What? You're not touching it. I'm hungry," I informed her, once I was done chewing.
Lexi stuck my tongue out at me like a petulant child.
"Don't stick your tongue out at me," I said, amused.
"Or else?" she replied and stuck her tongue out again.
Instantly, I leaned forward, ready to grab her tongue.
"Hey," Lexi squealed, backing away from me before I could do anything.
"Told you not to do that," I said with a grin.
"If you ever try to do that again, I'm kicking you under the table," she warned me.
"Go ahead, try, I'll just grab your leg and pull you," I answered her in a laugh. It was better to laugh instead of thinking about holding her leg and pulling her towards me.
I seriously needed to chill.
"Come on kids, don't fight now," Alex interjected.
In general, I would have glared at him. Today I was feeling generous. I'd be back to glaring soon enough.
The dude was probably hiding a secret girlfriend from his ex-girlfriend and supposed best friend after all.
"He's being mean," Lexi whined, pouting.
"Please, you love me," I told her, trying to manifest this, and grabbed her panini this time. That ought to created a stronger reaction.
"Hey," Lexi snapped at me, getting up and reached forward, trying to grab her food. "Give it back, you big meanie!"
"You gotta ask more nicely," I answered, leaning my hand back so the food would be even more out of reach.
"Give it back, please."
"No good enough," I replied.
I think I enjoyed teasing Lexi a little too much, especially when I knew that she wasn't actually getting mad at me.
"Please, please Blake can I have my food back, please," Lexi said, trying to sound sincere but falling once again.
I made a show of acting like I was pondering on her pleads. "Nope, still not good enough," I informed her, shaking my head and grinning.
"What? Do you want me to grovel to the ground, pleading for my food, clutching at your clothes?" Lexi asked, rolling her eyes at me.
"Well, that could be a nice start," I replied automatically.
Not against having her clutching at my clothes for any reason really.
Chiiiiiiill Blake.
"You idiot! Give me my food," Pumpkin replied, and she sounded like she was trying not to laugh.
"You're not even eating it," I pointed out, laughing. I got up, backing away from her again.
"Alright, that's it," Cameron suddenly said and snatched Lexi's panini out of my hand, before taking a huge bite of it, and letting fall the small remaining piece on Lexi's tray. He mumbled something his mouth full, but I didn't catch it.
I was just very annoyed now. I hadn't wanted to take Lexi's food from her, I just wanted her to get out of whatever funk she was feeling that was making her eat less.
Also, how dare Cameron interrupt our flirting.
Because what we were doing was totally flirty, at least as far as I was concerned.
"Oh you are in so much trouble Jones," Lexi told him, glaring at him, going around the table to potentially inflict pain.
"I'll make you spit that out," I threatened the twin. I was the only one who should be manhandled by Lexi.
Alex decided to play mediator though and got up too, saying, "come on kids, sit down, make peace, no fighting in the school."
"Sawwy," Cameron mumbled, trying not to spit out food, but still grinning.
I glared at him. "Bitch."
"Come on, watch the language," Alex said and laughed. I ignored him.
"He took my food. They both took my food. Fifteen minutes in the corner," Lexi whined.
"Only if you come in the corner too," I replied and smirked.
Lexi didn't even bother with an answer and just rolled her eyes at me.
"There, there. I just want apologies, simple as that," Alex added.
I was about to say something about being sorry that I should be the only one eating anything of hers, but before I could say it, Coach walked into the cafeteria, making a scene. "Eaton, my office. Now!" he told me, looking pissed.
Oh.
Oops.
Lexi looked at me, worry clear on her face. I just gave her a shrug to calm her down.
I wasn't worried, per say. I had an idea on what this little meeting was going to be about.
I followed Coach silently to his office.
Once we were in, I sat down in the chair in front of his desk.
"Do you want to piss me off Blake? Is it your new hobby, making my life more difficult?" he asked me, sitting down behind his desk.
"I don't follow," I replied.
"After your accident, what was the condition to let you play again?"
I had kind of figured this was going to be about that.
I kept pushing it off.
"I have to smile at your sweetly every time we see each other?" I offered with a sheepish grin.
Coach's face stayed stoic. "I'm not in the mood for your cute jokes, Eaton. What was the condition?"
I sighed, slouching back in the chair. "For me to get checked up by my doctor every month and have him clear me to be on the field."
"And remind me again, have I gotten that doctor's note this month?"
"The weather's really nice today, isn't it?" I replied instead, changing subject.
"Blake Eaton, I swear to god, I'm not amused," Coach said.
I sighed again, and admitted, "Look, I've been distracted lately, and I guess I forgot about the appointment. I'll make one as soon as I get home today, and I'll give you a doctor's clearance."
With how unpredictable my head condition was, and with the chances of shock to the head or concussion in football, Coach and my parents too had wanted us to be extra careful and to make sure I wouldn't get unnecessarily hurt.
It wasn't a bad thing for me to get frequent check up.
I just didn't like them because... well as long as I didn't go see the doctor, I could act like my head was fine. Aside from the splitting headaches, I could go on with my life fairly normally. I could actually keep my condition secret.
I never told people about it.
Here I'd been, flying on the high of being honest with Lexi, but I was still keeping one very important fact about myself.
The fact that my head was a ticking bomb.
"If I don't have a clean bill of health in the next week, you can forget about playing this season," Coach threatened.
"Seriously?" I said. No leeway?
"Do I look like I might be joking?"
I grinned. "I try not to judge people's sense of humour."
Coach glared. "You have five days now. Get out of my office."
"Yes coach, sorry coach," I replied automatically and got up and out.
I got to class late.
We were supposed to practice the play, so I was sitting with Lexi, Daphnee and Alex, doing just that, but I was a little out of it.
I was... worried, as I always was when it came to seeing the doctor about my head.
What if things had gotten worse? What if I needed to get operated and then after getting my skull open and my brain poked, I'd never be the same person again.
I'd met a few people who had brain strokes and other head injuries while going to the hospital.
And head injury could seriously change you.
Would I still be myself if they went and poked my brain around?
Would they cut something wrong and make me forget everything about my brother?
Without my memories, I wouldn't be myself.
I was thinking all of that while reading about Hernani confessing his love to Lexi.
I was painfully reminded that liking Lexi wasn't my best idea. Even if it felt like I had a change right now, it was unfair of me to expect Lexi to be okay with dating a ticking bomb.
I could have an accident anytime.
Lexi deserved better.
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Happy Monday my little Pumpkins!
Our sweet Blake is being reminded that his head is still a problem. :( And he was doing so good so far.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I've mentioned in my story on instagram that I was writing the period chapter. I just want to remind y'all that the chapters I'm writing are like 4 weeks in advance, so the period chapter is going to be chapter 45. If you want to read it right away, you need to subscribe to my Early Access tiers on my Patreon at patreon.com/kariannegiard.
Otherwise, you'll get the chapter in four week. Sooooorry. XD
Anyway! This week I'll be uploading Virgin and the Whore on Thursday, and potentially another story of mine too if I'm not too swamped.
And I might be writing some Boyband Story chapters. I'm VERY excited about that future project. hehehehe
Alright, I shall leave you alone now. See you all next week! <3