BAD FELLING: MEANING YOU have a unpleasant feeling, feeling or feelings of anger, or unhappiness. I have had a knot in my stomach sense we came back from Italy two days ago. It hard to describe it really, I just feel it.
unpleasant; meaning discomfort, unhappiness, disagreeable. This is a pretty accurate way to describe it, I feel like I always have a headache and a stomach ache. I can't eat with the fear of throwing up from the feeling. The feeling around the house had been off, I haven't seen Leo scenes I gave him that letter, and the only person I have talked to after that was Aundre because I had to ask where Leo was.
Mattia seamed nervous, always timid with everything he is doing, getting nervous whenever someone is over. Everything just seamed off, and I hated it, it just made my feeling much worse than it actually is.
I feel like sometimes other people are the cause of you nervousness, they don't say anything but its just the things they do. My mom always told me actions speak louder than words and I believe every bit of it. I would much rather have someone make my day better, than them to tell me to have a good day.
'Have a good day'
'Thanks you to'
and the conversation is done, you may not see them for the rest of their day. You don't know how their day actually was, they might have had the worst day ever but you don't know because you did nothing to show you care.
Where if someone was there for you, making you laugh, they are the cause of your day; in this case a good one and they were the one who made it good. I always try and do something to make someones day better, sometimes its just the little things but they can mean so much to someone.
If someone said a simple 'You are so strong' to me when I was with Josh, even though they had no idea what I was going through. It would want me to fight a little harder, live another day, because it only takes one person to care, to show something, to make someones day better.
The couch dropped from next to me, I looked over to my side to see Leo sitting there. He spared me a small glance before he opened his computer and started typing on it. I couldn't understand it due to it all being written in italian.
"Where have you been?" I asked him.
"Work has been busy lately," He answered not looking away from the computer.
"Why does everyone seem so nervous?" I questioned.
"Its nothing you should worry about."
"Was it something with the letter because then I should be worrying about it," I countered.
"Bella I said don't worry about it," He gritted though his teeth. I didn't answered him. I was so sick of them keeping everything from me I tell them about the letter and I still don't get to know anything about it. I should have looked at it then I wouldn't have my mind working 24/7 wondering what it said, or whats going on.
I got up moving to the next couch across the room, avoiding my gaze with Leo and pulling out my phone to scroll through social media.
"Fucking child," Leo muttered.
"What?" I said raising my voice.
"I said your acting like a fucking child, stop trying to back away from everything and man up, some things don't involve you," He said.
"Well it obviously does if no one will tell me whats fucking happening, stop keeping secrets!" i yelled, he quickly got up walking over to me grabbing my upper arm. He pulled me up from the couch and practically dragged me up the stairs.
"What are you doing!" I yelled, this version of him was really scaring me, he held no remorse in his eyes and was letting everything take over to him.
"You lucking i'm not punishing you like my father did to me," He said opening the door to my room.
"What does that have to do with me, besides I think my father has punished me enough," I said, tear threatening to fall.
"Don't blame me for you fucked up fathers actions, i'm your guardian so I will punish you however I want now don't come out of here until I say you can," He said slamming the door and leaving me in my room. I was terrified, I hated letting people get to me but they way he acted made me scared of him.
I didn't know what he was going to do because his eyes showed no emotion. I was scared of him, I always hated to be scared of people but I could hold this back. He really scared me he had all the power over me and he could really do anything. I leaded against my door feeling on my emotions crash down as I hit the floor.
I have no one, my brothers didn't even want me they just felt like they needed to take me in because I was just some orphan girl with a fucked up family. I will never be family to them Im not even full blood related. They would choose each other over me and thats the worst pain ever, knowing that no one would choose you.
Knowing that if someone could save someone it wouldn't be you, like how someone is your best friend and your not theirs, it hurts, it hurts so fucking bad and you can't do anything about it. Im sure the entire house could hear my cries, and frankly I don't care because I was trying my best, I have been for so long. But I can't anymore, I can't keep all these emotions in.
I could hear shuffling outside my door but no one came in, they didn't bother. I eventually got myself up from the floor and walked to my bed tucking myself under the covers. My eyes were red and puffy making it hard to keep them open, and eventually I did stop fighting it making me drift off into sleep.
UNTOLD
I started drifting awake with the feeling of someone rubbing my back awoke me. I hummed softly signaling that I was awake.
"Do you want to come down and eat dinner with us?" I soft voice of Mattia asked, of course he was the one up here out of all my brothers I know he is the one that cares about me the most or at lease he if the one to show it.
"Not really," I mutter shoving my face in my pillow.
"Come on we haven't done this in a while, plus you can sit by me who would saw no to that," He joked. I mumbled incoherent words before I started getting up stretching my entire body. I layed back down not having the energy. Before I knew it I was being lifted up from the very comfortable sleeping position and thrown over his shoulders.
"Ahhh!" I yelled as I started hitting his back, he didn't care in fact tightening his grip on me, he walked quickly down the stairs, to quick for my liking because I was just waiting for him to slip and fall. Luckily he didn't just walking right into the living room where everyone already was, including Leo. He finally placed me down on a chair next to him and Riccardo.
"Hey she's not throwing a fit anymore!," Riccardo said looking at me.
"Well I wouldn't have had to if Leo would have been a bi-" I was cut off by Sandy entering the room trays of food in her hands, she placed it down it was some spaghetti and it smelled amazing. He left the room quickly walking back to the kitchen.
"Bella just a little warning if you would have finished that sentence we would have sent you right back to your room," Metteo warned.
"Like I want to be here anyway," I said scoffing. No one said anything after that instead staring to dish themselves up with food. I also did the same, taking a bite out it it the amazing taste hit me.
"Why are we eating, like together?" I asked.
"Why not," Aundre answered, I shrugged.
"Its just kinda random, we like never do this," I answered.
"So how was everyones day," Mattia asked trying to lighten the mood.
"Good," Aundre, Riccardo, and Enzo answered at the same time.
"Busy," Metteo answered.
"Well I got sent to my room for being curious with something that involved me so i'd say pretty good," I answered offering a sweet forced smile.
"Bella you really don't want to know," Mattia answered looking at me with pity.
"Stop looking at me like that," I snapped, I felt bad right after because he did nothing wrong, I don't know why i'm even getting so angry.
"Bella what has gotten into you," Aundre asked, whats wrong with me? I really don't have an answer, I know it would probably be best if I did know i'm just so sick of everyone hiding everything from me.
"May I be excused," I asked.
"Yeah," Mattia sighed, I nodded before walking out, I couldn't look at anyone in the fear on how they would look back at me.
It would probably be something like disappointment, and that would ruin me even more than I already am ruined. When someone looks at you like that means you failed them and thats one of the worst feelings ever.
A sharp pain hit me as I was walking upstairs, but I just shook it off. I went and grabbed a change of clothes so I could just take a nice relaxing shower, I took off my pants and the sight answered all my questions.
my period.
shit.
I did get it once when I was about 10, I remember my mom helping me out and making sure I knew how to handle it. It went away though probably due to the lack of food I used to get, and maybe now that im healthy again it came back again. What the fuck am I supposed to do?
I could tell my brothers, although they probably think I have it due to the ordeal of me coming here and making them stop. I brushed it aside and got into the shower trying to forget about it. I still felt really bad for snapping and Mattia, I'll have to find a time to apologize.
I stepped out of the shower and opted to wrap my underwear in toilet paper for now. I honestly had no plan, just let the plan make itself while I sit down and watch. I stepped out of my room, getting frightened when I see Mattia sitting on my bed. He look up when he noticed I was out.
"Im sorry," We both said at the same time.
"Hey look, i'm sorry I know you hate when people look at that," He said I looked at his face for any insincere look but there was nothing.
"No I shouldn't have snapped back at you like that," I said looking at him as I picked up some of the random objects scattered on the floor.
"Have you been feeling ok?" He asked leaning forward still on my bed.
"Yeah fine," I muttered giving him a forced smile, should I tell him? I mean they will have to find out somehow right? I went in my bed sitting next to him.
"Igotmyperiod," I rushed out.
"Huh?" He asked probably not being able to understand me.
"I got my period," I whispered, "I mean i'm still really pissed no one will tell me whats happening, but that may be why I snapped at you."
"Ok, I go buy you some stuff later," He said, leaning in and giving me a kiss on my temple. I was quickly congratulating myself on telling him.
"Thank you," I muttered feeling my cheeks heating up. I felt him get up from my bed and walking over to me.
"Have you gotten it before?" He asked.
"Yeah when I was like 10 but then it went away," I answered.
"Probably due to the lack of food you got, don't worry thats normal, so you already know stuff about it?"
"Yeah I think I know everything," I answered hoping this conversation soon.
"Ok, If you have any questions ask although I probably won't know so ask Gia or Sandy," He said chuckling.
I nodded as he walked out of my room. It was so hard to get comfortable all my muscles were aching, that was probably due to Mattia forcing me to do all that running. I turned on netflix for a while watching a random movie but I honestly wasn't watching it much just scrolling though my phone.
About an hour later a knock on my door sounded, Mattia peaked his head in.
"Here you go," He said placing a bag on the side of my bed, "I didn't really know what to get," He said scratching his neck, I let out a small laugh.
"Hey why are you laughing," he said pretending to be offended.
"Its funny how you always scratch you neck when your nervous," I answer.
"I do not!" He said throwing his hands in the air.
"Yeah you do, all of you guys do it," I said.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever tell me if you need anything!" He yelled as he walked out the door closing it behind him. Right when he did I quickly grabbed the bag and brought it to the bathroom, the toilet paper was very uncomfortable. I quickly changed into a pad before going back into my room, falling asleep for the second time today.
UNTOLD
The sound of the back of the net was like music to my ears, I haven't played soccer in quite a while due to how busy I have been. I totally forgot how good it felt to play.
"Still got it!" Riccardo yelled from the back doors, he walked over to me.
"Leo wants to see you in his office, good luck!" He shouted before going back inside closing the siding door. I threw my head back, of course he wanted to talk to me. I mentally prepared myself before walking inside.
I walked to where all the locked rooms were stopping in front of Leo's office. I knocked on the door hearing a 'come in' the locked unlocked and I opened my door.
"I feel like we have a few things to discuss," Leo said as I sat in one of the chairs in front of him.
"yeah..." I trailed off.
"Firstly to just get this over with, I heard you got your period. That gives no excuse for you behavior, but i'm going to let it pass this time," He said blankly.
Mattia you fucking bitch.
"Secondly, to clear some things up because your worrying you head about it to much. Basically that letter had a threat on it nothing we haven't had before, so because of this im sending you to one of our private houses, Gia going to stay there with you for a few days. I don't believe anyone knows about it so you should be pretty safe," He told me.
"Cole is going to drive you over there sometime tomorrow, its only about 45 minutes away, ok thats all any questions?"
"Also I apologize for getting angry and you earlier it's not your fault your curious," He sighed, he looked like he had to try very hard to let that out.
I nodded my head before exiting the room, going to my room to pack a small bag. I put in 2 pairs of sweatpants, 2 pairs of shorts, 4 tops, underwear and bra's, and some other things including a book I have been reading.
UNTOLD
My day has been very uneventful, I was told I would be leaving with Cole around 5 pm. I sat outside for most of the day so far, trying to get tan although I was just getting sunburnt which definitely wouldn't feel good the next few days.
"Ready?" Cole asked as he walked into my room, I nodded before grabbing my bag and following him out.
"By Bella," Enzo said as I walked past the living room, the rest of my brothers had all said good bye earlier because they already had plans today. Although I guess Leo never said bye but I didn't expect him to.
"Cole," A voice said from by the doorway, Leo was standing there. Leo walked up to us and whispered something in his ear before giving me a side hug and leaving the room, that was awkward. I followed Cole out the front door and to a black car parked in the front. We both got in the back I couldn't see who was driving because they never looked back at us although they looked pretty young around Cole's age.
The car drove off I could see us go farther and farther out of the busy city to where it was very quiet with only a few cars passing by every once and a while. Eventually we finally pulled up to a house, it was pretty hidden making it very hard to find. Cole and I both got out letting me get a good look at it, the house was pretty small giving a cottage feel.
The outside had palm trees and flowers planted, the blinds inside looked to all be closed making no one be able to peer inside. The house was white, with black windows it had a very pretty yellow door making it stand out. We walked up to the door Cole pulling out a kew from his pocket the door opened and he quickly turned the light on providing a way to see in this pitch black room.
There was a living room to my left with gray couches a fireplace against the wall. There was a Tv above the fireplace, and a basket of blankets next to it. In front of me was a beautiful kitchen it had green cabinets and a marble countertops. To my left were two doors, i'm guessing leading to a bedroom and a bathroom.
"When will Gia be here?" I asked.
"She'll be here soon," He said looking at his watch, "We got here faster than I though were would."
I nodded before walking into one of the doors, it was a bathroom it matched the kitchen with a green cabinet and marble countertops. It had a while shower curtain with gold accents. I walked out before going to the last door, which was the bedroom. It had two twin beds located at each corner with white bedding. It had a white dresser with a tv in the middle against the wall of the two beds. There was also a closet in the corner.
Each bed have a table next to it each having a light on it. I set my bag down on one of the beds next to the window. I walked out to see Cole in the kitchen making something.
"Im making Mac and Cheese if you want any," He said, pouring in the noodles.
"Yum," I gushed, taking a seat on the counter. The font door opened revealing Gia, I smiled at her as she walked over to us.
"Ah I missed this place," She said looking around.
"Cole you look like an old man with the beard your trying to grow," Gia pointed out. I hadn't really noticed he was gaining a little bit of facial hair but not much.
"Hey its getting there," He said as he placed his hand on his chin pretending like he had a beard. Gia just shook her head as I laughed. The food was done and Cole dished it into three bowls, placing one in front of Gia and I.
"When are you leaving?" I asked Cole.
"When I finish eating, so don't miss me to much," He winked as I rolled my eyes. He quickly finished and left leaving Gia and I alone. She turned on the Tv to some romance show which she looked very interested in.
"So whats happened since last time I saw you, like three days ago," She asked as we both sat on the couch.
"I kinda got my period," I said, my eyebrows raised.
"Did you tell your brothers?"
"Yeah I told Mattia, but it looks like he told everyone, or at lease Leo," I said rolling my eyes. The rest of the night flew by and at about 11 we decided to go to sleep. We didn't have much plans for the next day just to watch a bunch of movies. The beds were surprisingly very comfy, Gia stayed up later watching something on the Tv in our bedroom, but I quickly drifted to sleep with the show playing in the background.
UNTOLD
3:00
We were currently in the backyard of this cute place. It had a garden with flowers and fruits growing all over.
"How long will we be here?" I asked Gia who was trying to grab an apple.
"Just a few days I think," She answered.
I nodded before continuing, I went over to where some sunflowers were planted. It was so pretty back here like what you see in pictures.
"Should we go have some lunch?" Gia asked.
"Yeah," I answered before following her inside, right when she got in she locked the door right away and closed the blinds. We were lucky the lights in here were super bright. She got out a frozen pizza and started the oven then walking over and turning on the TV.
"What should we watch tonight?" She asked as she took a seat on the counter next to me.
"Jumanji?" I questioned.
"Yes I love that movie!" She gushed, we sat in silence until the pizza was done.
3:30
We both walked back outside deciding to eat out here. We placed a blanket down and set the pizza and some drinks on top of it.
"Who takes care of this place?" I asked looking around.
"Leo has some people I think," She answered shrugging it off.
"I like it here its very peaceful," I said breathing in the fresh air, that smell a lot like pizza.
"Yeah it is, very different from New York," She answered taking a bite of her food.
5:00
I went to the bathroom ready to wash all of the dirt off of me, we ended up also planting some more flowers making me dirty. The hot water felt great, its weird how you can be in the blazing hot all day but then still take a hot shower.
I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to get all the shampoo and snarlesout. My hair was getting pretty long, I should probably get a haircut sometime soon.
I went out of the shower drying myself off, I wrapped the towel around myself and walked out. Cool air hit me due to the air conditioning being very high, Gia was sitting on the couch scrolling though her phone. The days felt really long here it like time stopped for a while, Gia got up and went to our room coming out with clothes in her hand then making her way to the bathroom.
8:30
It was starting to get dark outside and we just turned our movie on. Gia was making popcorn as I got all the blankets and pillows out. She returned with a bowl in her hand, it smelled so good. She sat next to me and we shared a blanket the bowl of popcorn being on my lap.
A light shining could be seen through the blinds, Gia looked at me her face visibly paling.
"Bella go and hide in the closet," She said sternly, I quickly obeyed getting up and walking to the closet. It was pretty small but I tucked myself in the back corner and tried to hide myself in the extra blankets that were in here. I stayed quiet, trying to hold my breath as much as I could to try and limit the noice.
You could here the door being knocked open and many footsteps spilling in.
"Where is she!" Someone yelled, I couldn't recognize the voice, but I knew it was someone bad.
"She not here," I heard Gia say, it sounded like she was trying to be calm but you could still hear the fear in her voice.
"What are you guys doing search this place! Hold her so she doesn't move," The voice boomed again. I could here foot steps just outside the closet and before I knew it all the light from our room was shining in. I pulled my knees closer to my chest as I put my head in between them squeezing my eyes closes acting like that would help.
"Found her!" I heard someone yell before I was being dragged out. The person pulled my back against their stomach holding me tightly around my waist to limit my movements. Gia was in the kitchen with two men holding her arms, silent tears were streaming down here face when she realized she couldn't do anything.
"Please don't take her, take me please," She pleaded, I could see her looking at the man who was standing in the corner of the room, and she had an emotion, Relief? The men, who I know noticed there were around 5, didn't even blink an eye. I took one last look at Gia before I was turned and dragged out the door.
"No please stop!" I yelled although my cries were useless, everyone knew there was nothing I could do. I was thrown into the back seat of a car, the man that was standing in the corner was sitting next to me holding my wrist. The one who im assuming was the one yelling earlier sat in the drivers seat, while one of the man who was holding onto Gia sat in the passengers.
I didn't know where the other men went, probably to a different car.
"Please let me go," I whimpered, the guy that was still holding onto my wrist started gently letting go, his eyes held sadness.
"Im sorry," He whispered before I felt a sharp pain in my arm. I looked up at him confused before I could start feeling my body giving out, the light from the moon was barely visible and just like that, I was out.
UNTOLD
sooooooo uhhhh hey guys.
I dont even know what i'm supposed to say after this. LOL
(4484 words in the chapter)