"Sweetheart" I heard a low raspy voice say into my ear, the feeling of plump lips attaching to my cheek quickly following it as I felt strong warm arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to them. I opened my eyes slowly, looking down at the tattooed hands that were resting gently on my stomach on top of the fabric of his shirt that he slid on me last night. I glanced over at the clock hoping that time somehow decided to freeze itself, my eyes fluttering closed as I let out a loud sigh when I realized it had carried on its normal operation, thus pushing the hours closer and closer to the time he would have to leave me.
"Sweetheart, I know it's early and I promise to come and lay back down with you after, but come with me" he said quietly, his lips pressing softly against my cheek again as he pushed himself up from his position beside me, sliding his body easily from between the sheets.
He walked over to me moments later, his waist serving as the perfect resting place for his black joggers and his Prescott jersey covering the top half of his body. He slowly moved the heavy duvet cover from its resting place on top of my tiny body as he slid his arms underneath me, easily lifting me up.
"Baby, where are we going?" I laughed quietly, my arms wrapping around his neck as I rested my head on his shoulder, my eyes threatening to drift closed as he started heading towards the back patio door of his room. He walked me through the door carefully setting me down on the wicker couch that sat up against the wall, my legs coming up to my chest as I desperately tried to shield out the chill that was hanging heavily in the air.
"Hold on lil miss, I'll be right back" he laughed, heading back inside only to appear moments later with a fluffy Dallas Cowboys blanket. He had it wrapped around his body as he made his way over towards the couch, falling gently into the plush cushions. He extended his right arm, the blanket following it like a cape as I snuggled into his side, his left arm coming around to meet his right as he completely enveloped me inside the warmth of the fuzzy blanket, his body being an extra benefit.
"What are we doing out here baby?" I asked him through a long yawn, my head resting back on his shoulder as his lips pressed softly into my brown roots, the action causing a small smile to spread across my lips as my eyes fell closed-a reaction both towards the feeling of his lips on my body as well as being tired-and his cheek resting on the top of my head.
"So" he said, a small yawn escaping between his words before he was able to continue. "I absolutely love watching the sunrise lil miss. When I am on tour I try to do it as much as I possibly can. It sort of brings me peace and I love the calm it creates and the fact that no sunrise will ever be the same" he said.
"I took you as more of a sunset kinda guy" I giggled, his chest humming with amusement as he lifted his head to put another small kiss into my hair, resting it down again moments later.
"I can take a good sunset too, but there is just something about the sunrise. Maybe it's because I can never sleep and I'm always awake to see them" he said, his shoulders shrugging as I started to see the sky light up just slightly as he pulled me closer to his body. "But I've never shared them with anyone, it's always just been myself sitting somewhere with a cigarette as I watched the earth signal the start of a new day" he said, almost as if watching the sunrise was his form of solitude, something that he did as a way to reconnect with himself and give himself a fresh start, clearing his mind of everything bad that happened the day before.
"So, why are you sharing it with me now?" I asked him curiously, wondering what he felt that made him want to share something that seemed so personally intimate to him with me.
He was quiet for a moment, the silence not something that was heavy but rather a light feeling that was hanging in the intimate moment, the blanket that shielded us parting just slightly as he pulled his right arm back so his hand could easily float up and down my arm, the friction of it causing a series of small goosebumps to pop up on every inch of my skin as I relaxed further into his side.
"So when I was younger and living in Texas, I dated this girl and I was madly in love with her, but keep in mind it was 16 year old love" he laughed slightly. "I had always thought she was going to be the one that I would be with forever, always a hopeless romantic hoping that the cliché high school romance would be the love of my life forever" he said.
"Oh believe me, I've been there before.... Plenty" I laughed, realizing now how desperate I was to find love and how willing I was to make it work with anyone.
"I think we all have lil miss" he said as I turned my head up to look at him, his gaze already staring down at me, his eyes twinkling with the small amount of light that was starting to peek over the mountains as he flashed me his breathtakingly gorgeous smile. "But, I remember Jodie talking to me and I never thought that what she said would be true" he said with a laugh, his head shaking slightly as he looked over in the opposite direction before looking back at me, his teeth nervously biting at his bottom lip.
"You're nervous baby" I laughed, my index finger coming up and tapping at the tip of his nose, his eyes crossing slightly as he looked down at it before gently grabbing my wrist in his hand, pulling my finger down as he placed a soft kiss on the tip.
"No, definitely not nervous," he said with a gorgeous smile. "More shocked that the words finally came true" he said, his gaze dancing with mine.
"And what did she say?" I asked him, my arms drifting around his waist as I placed my legs over his, my head tilted back to look up at him as I waited for him to answer.
"She told me that even though it hurts right now it won't hurt forever and that someday I will find the one who will watch every sunrise with me until the sunset of my life" he said quietly, his eyes not breaking contact with mine as I felt my breath catch in my chest.
"I never thought her words were going to come true, Candace, yet here I am sharing the one thing that I love with the girl who finally filled the spot of Jodie's words. I have no intention of ever going anywhere sweetheart" he said to me, his hand breaking free from the fluffy fabric that was keeping us together as he slowly pushed stray hairs from my face. "I just have this feeling that you're it for me Candace and it grows stronger everyday" he said quietly.
I quickly reached up, resting my hand on the side of his face as I melted my lips together with his, his arms quickly wrapping around my tiny body, the blanket that shielded us quickly becoming insignificant as it slipped from our shoulders. He moved his lips slowly against mine, his hands positioning me so I straddled his lap as I wrapped my arms around his neck, neither of us needing to ask to deepen the kiss. The thought seemed to have crossed both of our minds at the same time, our lips parting together as our tongues did a beautiful tango, the passion that was building between us growing with intensity but never toeing the line of desire or need.
We spent several minutes getting lost in each other, alternating between deep sensual kisses to sweet long kisses before he finally pulled away from me breathing heavily. He licked his lips quickly, the thin layer of moisture glistening with the lights that surrounded us as he brought both of his hands up to cup my cheeks, his thumbs rubbing softly against the skin as he stared at me.
"You Candace, are the girl that was meant for me. It only took me 25 almost 26 years to find you but now that I have you I am never letting go" his voice was low and deep and filled with the beautiful rasp that I had come to love so much, the sound of it sending wonderful tingles throughout my body as I felt myself become putty in this beautiful man's hands.
"I love you Austin. I love you so much" I smiled at him before leaning in and pressing our lips together once more. "At least you only had to wait 25 years, I had to wait 29 years" I laughed as I pulled away from him slowly.
"Hey perfection takes time, it just took four years of planning to make sure that I was perfect for you. You can't rush those things lil miss" he said, a loud laugh leaving my mouth as he wrapped his arms around me and placed a soft kiss on my neck before I slid off of him and rested into his side again, our gazes fixed on the mountains.
We sat quietly as we watched the sky transform in front of our eyes, changing from the dark navy purple hue to the beautiful pinks, oranges and yellows, each strip of cloud picking up it's own color as it decorated the sky in long dark strips of pigment. The rays from the sun were starting to peek over the jagged mountain tops in a vibrant burning orange, seconds later the sun itself peeked over the top as a big ball of orange light slowly taking its rightful position in the sky.
"It's so beautiful," I said quietly, Austin's head resting against mine as I snuggled in close to him, his hand reaching across as he laced his fingers with mine.
"It is, it's almost as beautiful as you," he said quietly. Typically I would playfully push him and roll my eyes with such a comment, but this time I did nothing more besides place my lips gently against the eagle on his neck and squeeze my hand tighter on his as we continued to watch the beauty rise before us.
"Baby" I finally said quietly after we spent the last five minutes watching the sun slowly rise above the mountains, the sky changing from the deep dark colors to more pastel shades as the light blue started to engulf the sky, the whites of the clouds finally became visible.
"Yes sweetheart" he said, the fingertips of his right hand slowly moving over my arm.
"Do you really have to go?" I asked him. I knew the question was selfish and I knew that there was no way I could keep him here. Doing that would be making him give up everything he works for and forcing him to quit doing what he loves. But right now none of that mattered to me, since all I wanted was to be in this man's arms forever.
He lifted his head from mine, his lips pressing gently on my temple before I turned my head to face him, our gazes meeting as he cupped my chin in his hand his thumb gently rubbing over my lips before he connected them together briefly, pulling away slowly as the skin tried to hold us together.
"I don't want to sweetheart, but unfortunately yes I do. I'm going to do everything I can to try to shorten the length of my stay so I can get back to you and to Liam" he said, his words ceasing but his face looking like it had more to say.
"What's on your mind baby?" I asked him, moving myself so I could look at him better as a small smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
"I love how you know how to read me," he said with a small laugh as he pressed his lips against my forehead. "So don't think I've completely gone off the deep end, but I had tossed the idea around of you and Liam coming with me, but then I thought it was too soon" he said, shaking his head as he laughed a little louder.
I smiled at him, loving the fact that that thought had even crossed his mind at such an early stage of our relationship, but my mind instantly knew that he was right. Not to mention Teeny was here and I didn't want to just pick up and leave her here to fend for herself even though something told me that Austin wouldn't have cared in the slightest if she came along with us.
"I don't know if I am ready for LA life just yet" I said, scrunching up my nose as I shook my head. "But I would love to travel with you when the time is right, as long as you don't mind a three year old tagging along with us" I said with a laugh.
"Lil miss, our son is welcome everywhere I go. My tour bus is his tour bus, my jet is his jet, my hotel room is his hotel room. I'd love more than anything to have the both of you with me, it'll give me something much more important to look forward too after each show then going back to drink beer with my friends" he said rolling his eyes.
"Really?" I asked with a surprised laugh.
"Are you kidding? Coming off stage and going to be with my amazing girlfriend and our son or coming off stage and getting drunk out of my mind... it's clear as day which one I would pick" he said with a laugh, as he stood himself up from his spot next to me, his hands quickly coming underneath me as he lifted me up and started carrying me back towards our room.
"Now where are we going?" I laughed, his lips pressing against mine as he captured the noise between his lips.
"I promised you I was going to come back and lay with you. It's only 6:30 we have another four hours of cuddling to do before we have to go talk to our son about me leaving" he said, fear starting to take over my body as I had forgotten that we had never addressed this with Liam just yet.
"Can we just forget about the leaving thing for now and push telling Liam to the side for just a few minutes. I want to be selfish and have you all to myself right now" I said as we lay together in the bed, his arms wrapping around me as he placed a string of tiny kisses on my forehead.
"You're not being selfish sweetheart. There is nothing wrong with putting your needs first sometimes" he said quietly, the atmosphere changing between us constantly this morning.
"I love you" I said, feeling like I couldn't get the words out of my mouth enough, especially not today.
"I love you too lil miss" he said quietly, the both of us laying in each other's arms in the silence of the room, for the moment the both of us and his house the only things to exist in the world and for right now that was fine with me.
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I sat cross legged on the end of the bed watching as Austin was gathering several outfits to put into his bag for his trip to LA. I couldn't help but notice that most of what he packed was not the normal stuff I would see him in around here. Rather it was the very things I would see him dressed in when he was in character and living up to the name that he created for himself.
It started to make me wonder how he handled living a double life, being in one place where he could be who he was...just Austin Richard Post the normal quirky guy with the big heart who would do anything for anyone and then traveling to another where he was expected to be this rich guy who had a love for anything that sparkled, threw his money around like crazy at overly expensive stores and carried himself with the celebrity persona just to fit in.
I didn't experience Posty completely yet and to be honest I was nervous for when the time came that I wasn't going to be Candace, Austin Post's girlfriend who lives in Utah and has a three year old son. The couple who could go out together in a restaurant with minimal interruptions, go for ice cream, enjoy watching Liam at the park and live out a normal life. I wasn't sure what being the girlfriend of Post Malone really involved and the thought of finding out and living up to that expectation made me anxious because the last thing I wanted was to let him down.
I looked up from my thoughts to see that Austin had disappeared into his closet, I heard the shuffling of drawers closing and belts clinking as he decided which one to wear. What seemed like hours later he walked out of the closet in a plain white t-shirt, a long silver chain hanging around his neck that rested just above his belly button with a tighter choker around his neck. On his waist were a pair of black pants held up by a black studded belt and on his pinky finger an extravagant diamond ring. On his feet he wore the black cowboy boots that held a special spot in my heart and his black chrome hearts hat that rested on top of his head.
I swallowed hard looking at him realizing that the Austin that I had met in the 7-Eleven who was wearing that sexy army green shirt that fit tight in all the right places with a pair of light wash extremely well fitted jeans wasn't standing in front of me anymore. No, in his place was the very person I had just thought I hadn't really experienced yet. I caught him looking at me out of the corner of his eye, his head tilted to the side just slightly as his lips turned into a smirk.
"You okay lil miss?" he asked with a chuckle, his hand pulling off his hat as he sat it down on the dresser before he started walking over towards me, my mouth instantaneously turning dry and a new feeling washing over me as if I was meeting my idol for the first time and I was hoping he thought I looked cute enough to entertain for a few minutes.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" I said suddenly becoming nervous around the man that I had completely thrown my trust at, who had seen me naked for the first time just a day ago and who has kissed me more times than I could even remember.
"You seem nervous," he laughed, his hands reaching out for mine as I slowly laid them inside of his, noticing that they were shaking just slightly as he pulled me up to stand in front of him, his arms sliding around my waist as he leaned down to kiss me.
The feeling of his lips on mine this time was like a completely different experience, it felt like I was kissing a completely different man. The cute, quirky, funny, extremely caring, sensitive and gentle man that I had fallen in love with a week and a half ago was completely being taken over by this overly confident, somewhat cocky, sexy man holding me in his arms. He pulled away from the kiss slowly, his left hand coming up to rest on the side of my face as he gave me another chaste kiss on the lips.
"Uh yeah you can say that" I said giving a nervous chuckle as I looked away from him briefly, my heart feeling like it was about to beat out of my chest. I laughed to myself at how I was reacting, even afraid to hold his gaze longer than five seconds knowing that I was going to act like a schoolgirl who had a crush on the quarterback and he was finally giving her attention.
"Can I ask why?" he laughed. "Is something going to happen that I don't know about? Is Teeny holding out on me!? We made a pact that she would tell me everything!" His playful question and exclamation made me come back to my place of comfort in his arms as I quietly laughed at him, his smile wide as he looked down at me. "There's my girl" he said through his smile, his fingers gently moving down my jaw as he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips.
"You're back" I said with a laugh as he tilted his head at me confused.
"I didn't know I left?" he asked, raising his eyebrows as he let out a small chuckle at my words.
"Well you didn't leave obviously because you're right here" I laughed, moving my arms from around his waist and up towards his chest. "But the you I met left me...image wise" I said, rolling my eyes at my own explanation.
He wrapped his arms around me as he pulled me in close to him, his cologne intoxicating me, my body elevating to a new height as I felt him press his lips firmly against the top of my head.
"Is this the whole you're different when you're in LA thing you were talking about last night?" he asked sincerely, his arms still wrapped around me tightly, a strong sense of comfort washing over me from being tucked into his arms.
"Exactly what I was talking about" I laughed. "I'm used to Austin. The guy who dresses in perfectly fitting jeans or loose joggers and shorts, wears normal t-shirts, isn't decked out in bling" I said stepping back from him. "Not that I'm saying it doesn't look hot or anything" I said with a laugh as I saw his face flush.
"Just because I look different doesn't mean I'm different lil miss. I'll be the same guy that you fell in love with. I'm still that dorky guy that you love I promise you" he smiled as he placed a gentle kiss on my nose. "Come on we have to go talk to Liam sweetheart" he said, grabbing my hand in his, my pinky finger battling with the ring on his for space as I followed him towards Liam and Teeny in the living room.
"Can I ask you a question though" I said quietly as we started to walk down the hall, his boots echoing off of the dark wood floors as we started to make our way to the back living area of the house.
"Of course you can, sweetheart" he said with a smile, our pace slowing slightly as I looked up at him.
"Why the change? I mean... why not just look how you look here in LA" I asked him, his face looking as if he was seriously pondering the question before he leaned his back up against the wall, both of his hands holding mine as he looked at me.
"I don't know, I guess being in LA you kinda get hung up in it all. In LA I'm not Austin lil miss and when you go with me you'll see that. I'm Posty there" he said, rolling his eyes. "I guess, I just feel like I have to dress how they know me, no matter how hard I try to present myself on stage during shows, the Posty that they all know and love somehow pops out of me when I go there. It's almost as if I'm required to leave Austin home and put this in his place" he said, tilting his head at me with his eyebrows raised as if he was hoping that what I was saying to him was making sense.
"I guess I can see that, but that doesn't seem fair to you" I said as he pushed himself off of the wall as we continued down the hall.
"A lot of stuff that I do isn't fair to me sweetheart" he said, his left hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. "But this is the life I chose so I just go with it" he said with a shrug, his hand falling back to his side as he looked over at me.
"Austin" I said, stopping him right before we walked into the living area. "I think if you showed them Austin and how amazing, sweet, down to earth and just normal you are that they would love you. A-And" I stuttered. "If you ever want to take that leap, I'll be right here to take it with you" I said, smiling as I saw his face light up, both of his hands enveloping my cheeks as he pressed his lips hard against mine.
"I love you so much Candace, thank you sweetheart" he said with a smile, his lips pressing against mine once more before he pulled away slowly.
"I love you too Austin, and you're welcome" I smiled, turning my head as I heard a familiar pitter patter of feet making their way over to us.
"Daddy!" Liam yelled as he ran right past me and into the arms of Austin who scooped him up quickly placing a quick kiss on his cheek. "You look different Daddy" he said, giving his head a little shake letting him know he wasn't pleased as Austin and I let out a tiny chuckle.
"Buddy, Mommy and I have to go talk to you okay?" he said, my eyes cutting over towards Teeny as she tilted her head at us with a sympathetic stare, her head nodding slightly. Austin grabbed my hand in his as we made our way out of the back of the house towards the small area of grass that we sat in on the morning of the night we first spent together.
"Daddy, why do you look different?" Liam asked him as Austin sat him down on the grass in front of us.
"Remember when Mommy told you that Daddy has a job where he sings?" I asked Liam, my hand reaching out for his as he tilted his head up at me.
"Yeah" he responded, his eyes squinting at me from the sun.
"Well, Daddy has to go to work buddy" I said to him, my hand running through his thin locks as he looked over at Austin.
"But Daddy works here" Liam said with a smile as he climbed into Austin's lap.
I looked over at Austin, his eyes meeting with mine as he gave me a small head nod letting me know that he was going to give it a chance.
"Buddy, normally I do work here but sometimes I have to travel for my job. Sometimes what I need to do I can't do at home, I have to go to another state to do it" he said quietly, his words resonating with him as he looked up at him.
"So you're leaving?" he asked sadly, the look of tears welling in his eyes, my heart starting to beat rapidly as I was praying that Austin would be able to talk himself out of sloppy tears from Liam.
"I have to leave buddy but I am not going to be gone for long. You, Mommy and Aunt Teeny are going to stay here while I am gone and I promise to call you and Mommy whenever I have a chance" he said, his head tilting to the side as he looked at him.
"But who is going to play cowboys and dinosaurs with me in the pool?" he asked sadly, his gaze floating down to his fingers as he started to pick at his nails something he got from me whenever he was nervous.
"Looks like Mommy or Aunt Teeny will have to take my place but just for now. I promise as soon as I get back we will have an amazing game of Cowboys and Dinosaurs" Austin said with a smile as he ruffled up the top of Liam's thin hair.
"I promise that I will try to be just as good as Daddy at that game bubba" I said with a smile, his tiny toddler eyes glancing over at me as he gave me a shy smile.
"Daddy?" he asked, staring up at him as I reached out and started rubbing his back.
"Yes buddy" Austin smiled, a stray piece of grass held in his hand as he fiddled with it absentmindedly as he gave his focal attention to Liam.
"When do you have to go?" he asked him in a quiet voice.
He looked over at me reaching out his right arm as I settled into his side, Liam climbing into his lap as he put his arm around him a gentle kiss from his lips pressed against the crowns of our heads as he held us close to him.
"I have to leave very very soon buddy. Dre is waiting for Daddy in a car in the driveway right now" Austin said quietly, his head resting against mine as he continued to hold us, all three of us sitting in silence as we enjoyed our last few minutes we would have being physically together before he would have to leave us.
We got up a few minutes later, Liam resting on his left hip as he rested his head in the crook of his neck, my left hand clutched tightly in his right as I rested my right hand on his forearm and my head on his bicep, the three of us taking the slow walk back towards the house.
I gave Liam and Austin their moment as I watched him crouch in front of him, always loving how he got on his level whenever he was talking to him. I couldn't help but smile and tear up slightly as I saw Austin hold his arms open for him as he placed a small kiss on his temple before he wrapped him gently in his strong arms, a murmured I love you buddy barely audible from my distance away from them.
I was grateful for Teeny who willingly stepped in to retrieve a close to crying Liam from Austin's embrace, Austin giving her a quick hug and giving her his thanks for staying with us while he was gone before he slowly made his way over to me with a shy smile. His fingers easily guided my hand into his as we started to walk towards the kitchen, Austin swiftly picking up his bag as we passed his room.
He threw the bag into the back of the Denali that Dre was waiting for him in in the driveway before walking back over to me, his arms resting delicately around my waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Why does it feel like you are leaving forever" I laughed as he gave me a smile.
"Because neither of us want to be away from each other sweetheart" he said, pulling me into him as his strong arms wrapped around my back, my arms wrapping around his waist as I rested my head on his chest.
"I'm going to miss you like crazy baby" I said, my eyes closing as I felt his lips press into my hair.
"Not as much as I'm going to miss you guys lil miss. As soon as I leave here I'll be counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until I am back holding you two in my arms" he said as I pulled away from him.
His eyes danced with mine briefly before he leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on my lips moving his slowly against mine before our tongues collided with the emotion of knowing they wouldn't feel each other for days, the both of us struggling to break them apart. We didn't break away immediately, our lips still craving each others before we forced ourselves to pull away.
"I love you Candace. I promise to text you as soon as I land and I'll call the both of you to check in on you as soon as I can" he said, his eyes sincere as he held my gaze.
"I love you too Austin" I said, not being able to get any more words out as I felt the familiar tightness in my throat letting me know that tears were inevitably approaching, Austin catching on quickly as he brought my attention back to him.
"Hey, no crying sweetheart. Five days is going to seem like nothing I promise. And remember, there will be no one who can take me away from you or anyone else that I would want to be with so none of those bad thoughts okay" he said to me, the sound of the window rolling down as Dre politely asked him to finish up.
"Come here" he said, wrapping me tightly in his embrace again holding me for just a few seconds before letting me go.
"You better get going, I don't want to get you in trouble" I laughed, a smile tugging hard at the corner of his lips as he looked down at me.
"When it comes to work, I'm the only one who gets myself in trouble" he smirked, as he placed a chaste kiss on my lips before reaching out and pulling the shiny black handle on the door.
I stood back, my hands sliding into my back pockets as I watched him slide into the seat next to Dre, shutting the door behind him as he quickly rolled down the window.
"Love you lil miss" he said, blowing me a kiss as he gave me a tiny wave my heart feeling like it was both going to melt and explode from the plethora of different emotions that were brewing in my body.
"Love you baby" I said as the Denali started to pull away, the taillights quickly becoming a thing in the distance as I watched the man I loved drive away from me.
"You gonna be okay?" I heard Teeny say as she quietly walked up behind me her arms were void of Liam which was a clear sign he was either taking a nap or watching TV.
I looked over at her, my bottom lip starting to shake as I couldn't hold the tears in any longer, the hot wet liquid flowing down my cheeks as I broke into a fit of tears. Teeny quickly pulled me into her embrace as I wrapped my arms under hers resting my palms on her shoulder blades as she let me cry onto her shoulder.
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A/N: unicorn clouds...and that is all.
~Updates~
5-30-21: Changed Since Texas