Zev Dubois
I rushed back inside to the site of buckets and tools scattered over the floor. Axel had decided to throw a fit and flip a table. It was strange seeing him like this- so out of control.
I sighed as he threw a glass bottle against one of the stalls, spooking the griffin who resided within. Lyria, my Pegasus, snorted and stomped her foot in annoyance.
"Control yourself," I said, kicking away one of the broken shards that landed by my foot. It made the memory of stomping Damanea's hand into broken glass flash in my mind.
I've been through worse. Trust me, I'm fine.
I clenched my teeth. Her words had me re-evaluating everything. A feeling of doubt had been forming in the days following that incident. She hadn't been acting as I had predicted. It angered and frustrated me more than if she followed the script that had been written in my head. Plus, I didn't like the creeping feeling that her unexpected behaviour was bringing out in me.
They were ones I was familiar with once long ago.
They were what caused my downfall.
What made me weak and vulnerable.
I felt like joining Axel in throwing a fit as memories of her bombarded my mind. I had erased her from my mind years ago. Now, this girl who reminded me of a toy, a doll, was bringing them back. Bringing back the emotions that lured me in, that tricked my once innocent heart with each marred memory. I could feel my resolve to break her softening.
Maybe I didn't have to break her.
With everything that happened these last two days along with her words, it was starting to seem like she was already a broken doll.
Damage recognized damage.
And it started becoming glaringly obvious my biases may have been blinding me. The events and her reaction last night just made me take notice.
I was alarmed to notice that concern was beginning to worm its way into my thoughts. Something about how calm she acted after being attacked made a part of me react. Maybe it was because I recognized that dead look in her eyes. It was the one I had seen for years every time I had looked into a mirror.
"I'm trying to but I fucking can't!" Axel shouted before sitting his ass on a bale and gripping his hair in his fists. "I knew it would be hard, but not this hard. I haven't had problems going this long without feeding before. I don't know why, but I can barely control myself around her. I'm surprised I haven't ripped off her clothes and fucked her into the ground already! I know I sure as shit want to."
I frowned. He was right. I had witnessed him take longer abstinence breaks after being tricked by particularly manipulative women. He didn't struggle even half as much then.
"Well, try harder," I said, providing no help.
But maybe I should make more of an effort.
I wanted to groan. I didn't want to be concerned enough to try to control the grown-ass incubus. There was no room for concern regarding women in my cold, dead heart. She was the reason it was dead. The women in this Queendom I found myself trapped in were the reason it was increased in layers of ice.
But...
If- and that was a big if- I was right- if her words meant what I thought they did, then axels dwindling control could cause more damage than I intended to inflict.
Some unfortunate women born into poverty resorted to selling their bodies to women with particular tastes. Some were even sold to those brothels by desperate families and faced fates similar to men because they were not born into the luxury that gained them the benefits of their gender. It sounded like a horrid fate- it was, but I had heard of a fate far worse.
I had heard whispers about illegal, black market brothels where women were sold to men, but it was only something I had heard about in passing conversations with sketchy individuals I wouldn't trust with my name. A place where men were able to take their frustration out on women. If it existed, I couldn't help but feel a sliver of pity for those women. Knowing personally how much hatred could be held by men towards women in this nation, the things they would face would surpass any I faced or witnessed.
And I was in one of the most deprived and sadistic brothels for years.
If she had faced half of what I did then I couldn't help but feel for her. I had been indifferent until now- more than indifferent if I was honest. I had wanted her to suffer the way I had been forced to for years before Cassius found me, but if that look in her eyes...
I was starting to realize how warped and twisted my line of thought was. Ezra was right, we were no different from the women we despised.
We were turning into the very monsters they were.
And that realization disgusted me more than anything I had ever had done to me or had been forced to do.
I sighed, rubbing the stubble forming on my jaw. "Stay away from her," I said. "If you can't control yourself, keep your distance."
He snorted sarcastically. "Stay away? Great advice, Zev. How do you propose I get her to let me into her pants by keeping my distance?"
"I doubt you were making progress in getting in from what I just witness," I stated flatly.
He groaned and slammed his head back against the wall. "It's never this hard," he complained. "I usually just have to let it slip that I'm an incubus and then I'm the one who has to shake them off."
"Listen," I started. Cassius and I had both decided to keep last night's incident between us. It was surprisingly my suggestion. Regardless of her gender, something like that should be left for the victim to divulge or not. But considering what I had just walked into, Axel needed to know. "Last night, Andreas, Jerry, and Lee tried to rape her. You need to be careful about how you go about things. Especially after that. You can't be pulling stunts like you just did."
The eyes that widened in surprise narrowed in confusion. "Like I just did?"
"Really? Are you so starved that you can't recognize discomfort and fear over your lust?"
"What?" He seemed to think over his interaction with Damanea. Inclining his head, he sniffed the air. He must have caught the lingering scent of her fear.
His eyes shot to mine. "Shit, I didn't- fuck!" He dropped his head into his hands. "I have to fucking apologize," he groaned.
I nodded. "Wait a bit. I don't think she'll be keen to be in the same room as you for a while."
"Yeah," he agreed, looking back at me. "I'm guessing Andreas and the other two have been taken care of since I didn't see him around today?"
I huffed out a laugh. "When did you start paying attention to our staff?"
He smirked. "Why wouldn't I remember the man who made sure to keep me regularly fed? He honestly rivalled some of the women I've faced in terms of desperation."
I shook my head. Guess I wasn't the only one Andreas kept sated. I wasn't surprised. His kind were fairly common. Men in higher households who wanted to make their lives easier through the husbands. They knew the woman of the house wouldn't look at them twice, so they went for the affection and love-deprived husbands. If they were able to seduce them just right, they gained favours. If they went for the right husband- the most neglected- they could practically end up living with them in their suite. Pampered and spoiled and weighed on by other servants, not having to work as long as the woman of the house didn't take notice.
"Cassius dealt with them this morning. Come on," I said gesturing towards the door with my head. "Let's go eat dinner. I know it's not what you need, but it'll calm your cravings down."
He sighed at the reminder of his problem. "It's like she makes them worse," he muttered as we walked out.
Feeling bad for him, I threw him a lifeline. "If it gets too bad, I'll help."
He raised a brow at me.
"It's less questionable if you have one of our essences on you," I explained, including Ezra, Jaxson, and Cassius. "We could always claim that our wife has certain interests that involve watching her husbands. It's not like the hags in the council don't make their husbands put on a show for them."
"You'd let me stick it in your ass? Cause I sure as shit won't let you near mine," he laughed, smirking.
I scowled. "Fuck no. You can suck me off if you need to, but my ass is off-limits. I'm the one that goes in, not the other way around."
Axel threw his head back laughing. "We'll see if the time comes."
I hoped it didn't. I loved fucking my fair share of men, but I didn't want to complicate things like that with Axel or the others.
The sight of Damanea as she stood in open-mouthed shock when she walked in on me fucking Andreas came to mind at the thought of fucking men. It had pissed me off. Seeing her standing there, her mouth open and inviting, had made my dick harder if that was even possible. I had sworn off women ever since her but my reaction to her had proven that my dick wasn't following my resolution.
I was ashamed to admit that I had climaxed the hardest I had in years at the thought of her in Andreas's place. Just the thought of having her under me- powerless and at my mercy- was enough to make me blow. It had soothed my bruised ego that the reason it excited me so much was the power it gave me, but I hadn't been able to think of anything but her writhing beneath me since.
I discreetly adjusted myself as we walked into the dining room. Cassius was seated at the head of the table and Jaxon on the second seat to his right. Axel dropped himself into the seat on Cassius's left and I took the seat beside him. Ezra was missing, probably too submerged in his work to notice it was dinner time. It wouldn't be the first time.
The servants served the food before leaving. One stood by the exit, ready to fetch us anything we may need. For a few minutes, all that filled the dining room was the sound of cutlery and China as we ate.
"We will be required to introduce her in a week's time. We cannot hold off much longer without drawing suspicion," Cassius said as he cut into his steak.
Jaxon barked out a laugh. "That's going to be an interesting shit show."
"We need to prepare her," I said, ignoring Jax's comment.
Cassius stopped cutting and looked at me. "How so?"
I picked up my wine glass, twirling the purple liquid. It was supposed to be some exotic imported wine. It had cost a pretty gold coin. "She doesn't have the proper clothing or the proper social skills to not raise suspicion. All the high ladies need to do is take a look at her to find that something is off."
Cassius was silent as he mulled over my words. I was surprised that the ever-prepared Cassius hadn't recognized the issue sooner.
He nodded. "You and Ezra will accompany her to purchase the appropriate clothing." I paused with the wine glass raised to my lips. I wasn't volunteering. "I will inform her that she will publicly be introduced as our wife in a week along with how she will be required to behave."
He went back to cutting and eating his steak. I sighed. When Cassius decided a discussion was over, it was over. I could argue my way out of it, but I found myself wanting to spend the day with her. It would provide me with an opportunity to observe her closely and to better determine her motives. Even though my thoughts on her were shifting, it didn't mean I trusted her. She could still be like I thought she was even if she suffered the way I had. Hell, she would have more of a reason to be if she did.
But...
There was something... off about her. I just couldn't shake that look that was in her eyes from my mind.
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