I leave the Homestead a minute later, nodding at Clint as I pass the girl's room. Newt isn't nearby, but I see Thomas wandering the Glade, looking around. I jog over to him, wanting a distraction from the image of Ben's wound.
"You okay?" Thomas asks. I try to relax my intense frown.
"We went to see Ben. He's really nasty. I told Newt that killing them would almost be better than letting them suffer like that. And I meant it, Thomas. I get why it sounds cruel, but I wouldn't want to go through that. I guess if it's survivable you might as well, but it looks awful. I think Newt didn't like me saying that."
"I guess different people have different opinions on things like that," he says, scratching the back of his neck. "I wouldn't want to die, even if there wasn't any point in surviving."
"But you're an optimist."
"Exactly. Hope is important, Ash. Maybe people like me never want to give up because they won't stop hoping. Maybe some people can't stop hoping because they want to give up. And maybe you're just so stubborn you won't let yourself hope or surrender."
I smile a little. "For an idiot, you can be quite clever."
Thomas rolls his eyes. "Thanks, I guess."
There's silence for a minute, and then he glances up at me. "Ash?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't die. Keep being stubborn, even if terrible things happen."
Dying isn't on my to-do list, but I suppose I had just said that I'd rather die than go through the Changing.
I sigh a bit. "Fine. I won't die if you don't, Thomas."
He grins at me. "I promise. You'll be the stubborn one, and I'll be the unbearably cheerful optimist."
"Whatever you say, idiot."