Chapter 39
Ang tagal ng panahon na ng huli akong makapunta sa waiting shed na ito. Hindi parin nagbabago ang lugar na ito. Sa likuran parin ay ang mga puno at magagandang halaman. Na nagbibigay aliw sa mga dumadaan.
I gathered all my strength to faced Sean. Narito na nga siya he's's sitting down, sa gawa sa bakal na waiting shed na ito. Kulay pula parin ang pintura nito.
Huminto ako sa paglalakad ng dumating ako sa harapan niya. He immediately stood up, at yayakapin niya na sana ako pero may sariling isip ang katawan kong umatras.
Hindi na katulad ng dati, nawala na nga talaga ang pagibig ko sakanya.
"I-I miss you Irene" Sinabi niya kasabay ng mga mabibigat niyang hininga, at pilit na pag ngiti.
"Please let's be back together. Please let's love each other!" He said eagerly.
The winds blown my hair, while staring on Sean's gloomy eyes.
"Hindi na, hindi na Sean. Napakahirap ng ibalik ang dati" I said while hugging my arms.
Natigilan siya, hindi siya makapaniwala sa mga nasabi ko.
"Damn what are you talking about. I know that you still loved me. I know you still want to be with me!. Kasi ako Mahal na mahal parin kita Irene! Mahal na mahal parin kita" Nakikiusap niyang sinabi, and tears kept forming on his eyes.
Paulit-ulit akong umiiling sa sinabi niya. Na hindi ko na makuhang paniwalaan pa, hindi na.
Kasi hindi na siya ang laman ng puso ko. Tuluyan na siya nitong pinalaya.
"Irene naman, kailangan pa nating bigyan ng happy ending yong sinabi mo sa gift mo saakin noong Senior High tayo... Di'ba?" Tanda niya pa pala.
I shakes my head.
And I let a disappointed exhale of breaths.
"Wala na sayo ang copy non Sean. Nakita ng dalawa kong mga mata noong hinayaan mo na lamang na itapon yon ni Selene"
It's the time that their going somewhere, sinundo niya non si Selene sa Pascua Mansion, at nakita ng mga mata kong tinapon ni Selene ang mga kopya ng Birthday gift ko sakanya noon. Itinapon ito ni Selene mula sa loob ng sasakyan niya.
And I can't erased that memory, parang binasura niya ang lahat saamin sa mga panahong iyon. Nagpadala siya sa galit, hindi man lang pinakinggan ang paliwanag ko. He didn't tried to know the truth.
"Noon pa lang Sean, ginusto mo ng hindi bigyan ng happy ending ang story natin" I said into his eye, para maramdaman niya.
"Irene...." He whimpered.
"When we're inside the San Agustin Church, the moment you exchanged vows with Selene. I started to learn not to force such things to happen. To stop chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught. And to stop my heart from getting hurt to the person I onced love with all my heart!" I said while my tears streaming down on my face.
"I'm Sorry Sean, na-trauma na kasi ako sa pagmamahal ko sa'yo na sinayang mo" I said and retreat my back and I remained myself to be strong na hindi lumuha sa harapan niya.
"Who is Thirdy?"
"Is he's my son?" Napatigil ako sa paglalakad, when he asked these.
"I know it's still hard to give me a second chance Irene, pero nakikiusap ako pwede mo bang ipakita saakin ang anak ko?" I heared his cries begins.
My chest ache so much.
I'm a good person, ayokong may nasasaktan dahil saakin.
Sobrang malalim akong napahinga. I think this is the time for knowing that he have a son to me. That it was Thirdy.
Nakarating kami sa bahay. Natigilan si Thirdy sa paglalaro ng football sa bakuran, ng marinig niya ang pagbukas ng gate. I let Sean, to know about his child.
"Dad?" Gulat na gulat ang anak ko ng sinabi niya iyon.
"S-son" Nasabi ni Sean, at pinipigilan niya ang kanyang pag-iyak.
But Sean sobs the moment Thirdy run to hugged him so tight.
Napatingin saakin ang anak ko, at kitang-kita sa mga mata niya ang lubos na kaligayahan.
It's dad, Ma
He moutted to me, Thirdy lips was smiling ear to ear and his eye are shimmering with tears.
I'm happy to see him with his father.
Sean stayed the rest of the day with Thirdy. They are playing football. And I heard Sean promised to his son, that their going to watch famous Men's football team in Portugal. Thirdy told me he has a favorite player in the team and it his definitely favorite team.
We gatherd here at the dining room. Kasi sumapit na naman ang gabi. Hindi nauubos ang kwento ni Thirdy sa Dad niya. And Sean is patiently hearing those, he's not tired seeing and talking with Thirdy.
"Thank you Irene for raising Thirdy really well. And I'm so sorry, na hindi kita natulungan... I felt so sorry that I'm not in your side while raising him" Sean and I are both watching Thirdy sleeping on his room.
"It's okay Sean, walang dapat ika-sorry.... Ang mahagala malaki na ngayon si Thirdy at nakilala ka niya " I smiled at him, at nagsimula na'kong bumaba sa hagdan.
"Irene" He called my name.
"Yes?" At muli ko siyang hinarap, bumababa siya sa hagdan tumigil siya ng makalapit saakin.
"Selene told me that she's the main fault. Maraming dapat akong ikahingi ng tawad sayo. Sorry for the days that I made a wrong choices. Blaming you without hearing your explanation...." Biglang nanubig ang mga mata ni Sean.
"And I'm really really really sorry for tearing your heart apart...." Parehong napa-iyak na kami.
Kasi ang sakit ng mga alaalang iyon ay muling nanumbalik saakin, lalo na nong ikinasal sila at isa ako sa mga receptionist.
Hindi ko na talaga napigilan ang paglambot at pagiging emosyonal ng dibdib ko.
"I-I already forgive you for doing that Sean" I said between my sobs.
"Patawad Irene" Nabigla ako ng yakapin niya ako ng mahigpit.
After he hugged me, he rested his head to me. Our face was inch away. I can feel his breath on my nose. I can see his eyes this closely.
Tumagilid ang kanyang ulo at inabot ang labi ko. He's lips touched my kiss a few times.
He's both hands cupped my cheeks, at gumagalaw ito.
"Irene, please kiss me back" Pakikiusap niya, habang nakadampi ang kanyang labi saakin.
"Please kiss me back... I still love you" He said without breaking his lips touching mine.
Wala siyang nagawa ng umiwas at hindi ako rumespunde sa paghalik niya saakin.
Bigo siyang humarap saakin.
"Fuck! Don't do this to me Irene" He begged.
His words are crushing.
He can't breath property, he was trying to work the things between us.
"Please don't do this to me!..." Muli niya akong niyakap ng sobrang higpit.
"No, hindi ko makakaya. Mahal na mahal parin kita!..."
"Please don't unlove me" He begged against his embraced.
I cried in his front.
"I'm sorry Sean" Nahihirapan korin sinabi sa gitna ng pagiyak ko.
"I'm Sorry" Was all I can say.
Bumitaw siya sa yakap, at basang basa ang mga mata niyang tumingin saakin.
"Thank you for everything Sean. Thank you for the happier and hurtful days being with you. Pero hindi ko na magagawang magpatuloy pa sa tabi mo. Sana'y maunawaan mo ako" Pakikiusap ko sakanya.
"Dahil ba kay Zeev?" He said with his cracked voice.
"I didn't choose but my heart did" I said.
And I saw he breath for some air, his chest was moving rapidly. Umiiyak siyang umalis sa harapan ko.
Hinang-hina akong napaupo dito sa hagdanan.
***
"I thought Sean will become happier because of your comeback" I heared Selene beside me.
We're both watching the fish at the pond of this park here in subdivision. Pumunta ulit siya rito.
"Selene, Hindi na babalik ang dati saamin ni Sean. We can't deny the fact that something can change. At isa na don ang nararamdaman ko" I explained softly.
"Wala kang dapat ikalungkot Selene, at nakikiusap ako please continue to love him. Please get in to his heart"
"Irene" She poured tears.
"I miss you my best friend"
At parang hinaplos ang puso ko ng yakapin niya ako at marinig ang mga salitang iyon, muli sakanya.
"Sobrang na-miss narin kita Selene" I said, habang naiiyak na, at niyakap ko rin sa pabalik.
I smiled when Selene shows her ear, and its wearing our bestfriend earrings. At nakuha naming matawa ng pareho pala naming suo-suot ang bestfriend earings namin ngayon.
"Payakap nga ulit" I requested to her.
"Let's be happy while each on other side Selene"
"You're still my bestfriend Irene, you still my kind, cheerful, and full of hope friend of mine" Selene said that my embraced to her even tight.
"I have one last request for you. Selene please continue loving and taking care of Sean. He needs you, at naniniwala ako na may liwanag na uusbong sa puso niya, para magawa ka niyang mahalin" I said softly, and I gladly accept that this time, magiging magaan sa loob kong patawarin si Selene.