We rode along a dirt road on horseback. I had received a new horse, it was a fine, rose grey horse with a perfect build. I named it Zip, because I thought it suited it's speed, but I'm having second thoughts but I can't change it now.
"The former Survey Corps HQ. As an old castle that was renovated to be our base, it definitely looks extravagant. But since it's this far away from the walls and the river, it really wasn't something we needed. It was used back when we were first formed and our spirits were still high. I never imagned we'd be keeping you two in that old decoration." An elite soldier told us.
I notice Eren glaces over his shoulder and I follow his gaze. Captain Levi was staring at Eren intensly, the his head whips round to look at me. My head snaps back to facing the front. The Elite soldier moves his horse up close to Eren and I.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, recruits."
"Excuse me?" Eren stammers. The Elite moves in closer to Erens face and a shadow goes across his.
"You may be a Titan or whatever, but pissy brat's like you two being under Captain Levi's watch-" His horse suddenly trips over a stone on the road and he bites his tongue so hard blood goes everywhere.
"Olou, stop scaring the recruits!" A blonde man shouts at him.
"I wathn' thrying to." Olou whines in a funny way.
"Stop bickering like a bunch of children and pay attention, we're here already." The strawberry blonde girl from behind yells.
She was right, it was right infront of us. The HQ I jumped out of when I was thirteen. "Hey, Eren. This is the sad place that I jumped out of all those years ago, remember?" I nudge Eren's side with my elbow.
"Yes, I remember seeing you with a few cuts and bruises from doing that." Eren smiles, looking up at a broken window at the top floor. "Wait, you jumped out of that?!" He points to it and looks over at me, his eyes wide like an owls.
"Yup, but, now that I think of it, that's quite high. No wonder I hurt my ankles." I laugh, petting one of my ankles.
I dismount Zip and lead him into the stables. I take him into one of the free stall's and take his saddle and bridal off. "Good boy." I praise him, gliding my hand down his neck gently. Zip whickers and nuzzles my arm. I smile and walk out the stable and to one of the supply carts to grab a block of hay for Zip.
My hands wrap round the bottom of it and I place it over my shoulder. I jump off the cart and strut back over to the stables. I drop the block over the gate and into Zip's stable. He instantly notices the block of hay and begins munching on it.
I walk out the stable and over to a well to get some fresh water. As I lowering the bucket down into the well I overhear a conversation.
"This is what you get for yapping away on horseback." Petra scolds Olou.
"First impressions are crucial. Those recruits were scared stiff." Olou retorts smugly. I hear the bucket hit the surface of the water and wait a few moments so it can get heavy.
"I think they were just surprised by how stupid you are." Petra mocks him. I pull the bucket back up to the top of the well and go back into the stables to fill Zips water basin.
"At any rate, everything went as planned."
"Say, that's not how you usually talk, is it? If... If that's your idea of imitating Captain Levi, could you seriously stop? Then again, it's no like it was similar in any way." Petra grimaces. I take the bucket back to the well and place it back on the hook.
"Are you trying to bind my hands together, Petra? You haven't gone through the proper steps to act as my wife." Olou slurs teasingly.
"I wish you bit through your tongue and died. All you do is brag about your Titan kills." She deadpans.
I chuckle lightly and walk out of the stables to do my chores- courtesy of Captain Levi of course- I was ordered dust the rooms on the fourth floor and it was specified "You can't to jump out of any windows." The Captain joked.
I walked into the castle with a bucket of supply's to use for dusting and sweeping. I found the large stairway that led up to the fourth floor and walked up it.
I reached the landing out of breath and staggered to the first bedroom on the right. My hand reached out for the door knob and turned it, then walked in.
It was a very stuffy room so I walked over to the window and opened it, letting the fresh air inside.
I began sweeping the dust off the oak floor into a small pile.
I wonder how Marco and Jean are getting on, it's been a while since I've seen them. It's been almost a week since Eren and I plugged the gate, and it's been quite boring without all my friends. The only one of my friends that I know that has died, is Cliff. It was a small bit of pain to my heart since I never really got along with him that much, but I still forgave him.
I finish sweeping and began dusting the window sill that was caked in layers of dust. I lifted my make-shift bandana above my nose so I wouldn't breath in any of the dust.
I hope some of my friends are still considering joining the Survey Corps, like Mikasa and Armin, they said they were joining so I hope the Titans haven't set them off, especially Armin. Jean and Marco said they were joining the MP's so I don't know if I'll see them anytime soon. I wonder if Captain would let me visit them.
I snap my head round after hearing footsteps come along the corridor. Petra's head peeks round the corner. "Heyo, Ezlyn. How are you getting on?" She asks, flashing a beautiful smile.
"Oh, I'm getting on okay." I sit the cloth on the window sill and take my handkercheif off my face.
"Captain asked me to take over here, you've to go downstairs and unpack your stuff." She says, walking into the room.
"Okay, Thanks for informing me, I'd hate to get another beating from him." I laugh. "I'll see you at supper then." I leave the room giving her a smile and wave goodbye.
I march down the long set of stairs down to the bottom floor to see the Captain sweeping up a pile of dirt.
"Hello Captain." I say formally stopping next to him.
"What is it?" He looks up at me and leans on his broom.
"I was wondering were I'd be sleeping, sir." I say, rubbing the back of my neck as he gave me a soul piercing glare.
"You and Eren will be sleeping in the basement. We can't risk you shifting on accident while your half asleep." The Captain says bluntly.
I laugh nevously. "Thank you for telling me, Captain." I salute and walk away.
"You don't need to call me Captain,"
I turn to face him and he's smiling lightly. I jump at this action. "C-Captain, why are you smiling like that." I ask, backing away a bit.
"You remind me of Isabel. She was like a little sister to me, so I feel like your my little sister aswell." He looks down at the ground with a look in his eye I've only seen once before. Sadness.
Before I could say anything Eren starts walking down the stairs and Levi regains his posture. "Captain, I've finished cleaning the third floor."
"Okay, I'll go check, take over here Jeager." Levi reply's handing the broom to Eren who takes it.
Levi walks up the stairs and Eren starts sweeping. "So, do you know anything about where we're sleeping yet?" Eren asks me. I nod slightly. I walk up behind him and place one of my hands on his shoulder and the other in front of him.
"We'll be sleeping chained up, in The Basement!" I laugh, sarcastically. Gliding my hand through the air in a semi-circle. He roll's his eyes and pushes my hand off his shoulder.
"Enough sarcasm Ezlyn. Anyways, why do we have to be chained up?" He asks. Looking at me plainly.
"Captain said it was just incase we shifted in our sleep." I answer honestly. Pushing my hair off of my sweaty forehead. "This warmth is to much."
"Wait, is it warm?" Eren asks running over to the open door and standing in the sunlight. "Gosh, it's freezing." He shivers then runs back to me.
"I'm roasting though." I look down and realise I'm still wearing my cape and jacket. "Oh." Eren laughs at me and I roll my eyes once again. I undo my cape and fold it up in my arms. "Right, that's me going to go unpack now, cya at supper."
"Okay then, bye." Eren responds as I begin to walk away down the corridor in search of the basement.
I go through to long corridor, past many old offices and rooms that are waiting to be occupied, and it's just their luck that they will be getting people to fill them. I strut past an open oak door that has stairs going down onto another floor.
I turn on my heel and jog down the steps that lead to a fairly lit basement. I reach the bottom of the stairs and see many room-like cells and two of them had their doors open. I walk into the first cell and see a few crates full of my belongings- Which wasn't very many-.
I dig into the first crate and find Papa's favourite book and Mama's necklace. I cringe at the book, then chuck it to the floor for the fire later. I look to the golden chain in my hand, then hold it close to my heart. "I miss you Mama, although you hurt me terribly... it doesn't stop me from missing you." I whisper gently. I unclip the necklace and slip it around my neck, then clip it again.
I go back to going through the crate and find three of my silver friendship necklaces, two of them once belonging to Else and Charlie, my deceased bestfriends. I still remember the day I gave them these like it was yesterday. Else's face lighting up and Charlie's grateful smile...
~Flashback~
"Ezlyn, I simply don't have the words to say how grateful I am." Charlie beams like the sun.
I smile happily. "I'm glad you both like them. It's a way to say we'll be friends forever and ever." Else latches herself onto me, giving me the biggest bear hug. I feel my shoulder begin to soak. Else was crying.
"What is it Else?" I ask, softly. I rub her back soothingly.
She hiccups then looks up at me, her eyes filled with sadness and gratiude. "This is the kindest thing a friend has done for me." Her head falls back onto my shoulder and starts crying again.
I sat there absolutely stunned, but then relaxed and hugged her back. "It's okay, you don't need to cry over it." I mutter to her, placidly.
Charlie joins the hug aswell and we sit there in silence while being comforted by eachothers embrace. I closed my eyes and wished for this moment to last forever... But eventually... all good things must come to an end at some point...
~End~
I feel a tear begin to well in my eye and I wiped it away with my wrist. I still regret not moving fast enough to save them, all I payed my attention to was the stupid Collossal Titan. But when Else slipped that's when I moved, if I'd moved sooner, I would've saved them.
I slam a fist into my leg, telling myself not to dwell on the past and to not let those sappy emotions outside my body. Because if I do, I won't be able to fight anymore. The pain would be to much for me to handle, and I'd be a weakling. Only weakling's cry.
I sigh and get to my feet, wiping the dust off my trousers. I lift up Papa's book and sit it on the bedside table.
*
I finish putting the last of my clothing in the drawers and grabbed the book that sat on the small beside table and put it between my arm and my body. I turn around, then walk up the stairs I came down. The sound of my boots clicking against the wooden steps, echoed against the walls next to me.
I reach the top step and follow along the corridor to the mess hall. As I walk along the corridor, I notice that the sun is already low on the horizon. The sun burning like a bonfire at new years, giving off a warm and calming glow. But sometimes, those scenery's can give you awful thoughts...
I bump into something and fall over. "Man, I sure do bump into objects often." I mutter under my breath. I feel two arms go under mine and hoist me up to my feet.\
"You alright?" A voice asks me politely. The person lets go and I sigh breifly.
"Yes, thanks for helping me up." I turn to face the person whos awfully familiar. "Moblit?!"
The tall boy smiles at me kindly. "Hello Ezlyn, long time no see." He reaches his hand out for a shake and I take it.
"How'd you know it was me?" I tilt my head to the side. He smiles again and rubs the back of his neck.
"Section-Commander Hanji talks about you all the time, especially since last night. She won't shut her mouth about you."
I chuckle a bit and look up at him. "She's very talkative, specifically when the subject is about Titans." I say to him.
Moblit smiles shyly and nods. "Anyways, I need to go meet Hanji, before she does something stupid. I'll see you tomorrow Ezlyn." He walks away in the direction I came and waves to me. I wave back then continue my stroll to the mess hall to get supper.
I notice loads of crates along the side of the corridor, indicating, more scouts are moving into this place with us, even the Commander.
The massive oak door that led to the mess hall stood right in front of me, it's size intimidating. I place my hand on the handle and open the door. It was dimly lit and had the Special Operations Squad sitting around it, including Eren.
"Good Evening." I say, softly. Closing the door behind me.
"Good Evening Ezlyn. It's a lovely sunset." Petra smiles. I hum in response and take an empty seat next to Eren.
"I expect we'll be on standby for a few more days, but I heard there are plans for a large-scale expedition in thirty days. And we'll be joined by the new recruits who graduated recently." Eld announces.
"You sure Eld? That's pretty soon, especially since the latest Titan attack has undoubtedly taken its toll on them." Gunther speaks up.
"The brats must've all lost their backbone." Olou remarks plainly. Petra turns to look at the Captain, a worried look on her face.
"Is that true, Captain?" She inquires him. Leaning forward.
Levi opens his eyes. "I'm not in charge of drafting plans. But remember, this is Erwin. I'm sure he's thinking much futher ahead than us." He states, nonchalantly.
"Well," I look over to Eld. "The situation itself is unusual. The route we advanced at the cost of countless sacrifices to recapture Maria was erased in an instant. Then suddenly, a completely different hope appeared." He looks over at Eren and I. "I still find it hard to believe, but what exactly does it mean to transform into a Titan, you two?"
I look over at Eren. "My memories from that time aren't clear, but it felt like I had lost myself. I do know it's triggered by self-injury though. If I take my hand and..." He pauses, staring at his hand intensely.
"I do it differently, I take the dagger out of my boot and slash it across my hand. Or I could use my blooming powers to create a hole in my hand." I say, filling the silence.
"You guys are aware, aren't you?" Levi speaks up. "The reports cover everything we know now. Well, I doubt she'll stay put either way." He takes a sip of his tea. He emphisized the 'she'll' a bit to much, meaning he was talking about someone in particular. "But she might go too far and end up killing you. Eren, Ezlyn."
"Huh, Who's "she"?" Eren asks leaning forward in his chair. There was a loud bang at the door meaning something collided with it. Petra got up to go unlock the door for this supposed "She".
Petra lifts the wooden bar and opens the door to reveal Hanji rubbing her forehead. "Good Evening, members of the Levi Squad. How's it feel living in a castle?" She walks in. Levi had an exhausted look on his face.
"You're early." He says bluntly. Taking another sip of his tea.
"Ah, I just couldn't stay put." Hanji continues walking along the table towards Eren and I.
"Squad Leader Hange?" Eren stutters nervously.
"Sorry for the wait, Eren, Ezlyn. I'm in charge of investigating two Titans we captured in the city, I want both of your cooperaton for tomorrow's experiment. I came to get permission for that." Hanji stops right next to me.
"An experiment? What would we need to-"
"Well, it's the most exciting thing ever." Hange interupts me, a crazed expression on her face as she wiggles her fingers about her chin.
"U-Um... we can't grant you permission ourselves. We don't have any authority over our own decisions." Eren informs her.
Hange looks over her shoulder to look at the irritated Captain. "Levi, what are their plans for tomorrow?"
"Cleaning the garden." He reply's, a scowl over his face.
"No problem then! It's decided." She turns back to us excitedly. At this point, I'd rather clean the garden than cooperate with her. She picks up Eren's and my hand and holds them tight in hers. "I look forward to tomorrow."
I gulp a bit. "R-Right. But what exactly are we going to do?" Eren asks. I slowly pull my hand from Hanji's.
"Hm?"
"Uh, well... What do you mean by "experiment"-" Eren questions her.
"Hey, stop it. Don't ask." Olou hisses.
"Oh, I knew it. You sure looked like you wanted to know." Hanji's muses. I notice Levi begin to stand up and the rest begin to follow the same.
"Pst, come on." Petra whispers to me urgently, taking my sleeve in her hand. I stand up and follow them out of the room. I close the door behind me.
"Thank god we got outta there on time. The crazy lady was going to start her Titan crazed speech." Olou sighs.
"Right, it's best we all head to our sleeping quarters at once. We all need our rest. I'll escort Ezlyn to her cell." Levi says, standing righ next to me.
"Yessir." The others say in unison, forming a salute then marching in the same direction.
"C'mon, let's go, Ezlyn." Levi states, grabbing my wrist. He drags me down the corridor and I'm staggering to keep up with his fast pace.
"Wait, Ca- Levi, what are you doing?" I hiss. I stop in my tracks. He turns to look at me and sighs.
"Ezlyn, it's plain as day. You've got bags under your eye's that are also red, meaning you've been crying and not sleeping well. That right, you little brat."
I go to say a word but he then continues dragging me down the corridor to my room in the basement. He drags me down the steps and into my room. He pushes me over onto my bed and grabs a nearby chair and sits down on it.
"Spill." He says sharply.
I let out a short sigh. "Yes, I've not been sleeping because of some nightmares okay." I lie, knowing what he meant by "spill".
"Horrible liar." He sighs, leaning his head on his hand.
I smirk. "Liar? That's almost hurtful, I just don't wanna tell the truth."
His face darkens and he glares at me intimidatingly. "Stop the cheek, and explain to me why you're not sleeping right."
"O-Okay, okay, I'll tell you. But this may end up sappy, so beware." I pinch the bridge of my nose and look up at him. He hums and nods telling me to go on. "Right, so the reason I've not been sleeping... is because I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Of losing more people. Close people." I explain, my voice softening.
"Is that because you've had that happen before?" Levi leans forward.
I nod. "Tell me about it, please." He says.
"Well, it was the year 845, the year the collossal Titan first appeared. Remember Else and Charlie, the two girls that were with me when we first met?" Levi nods. "Well, Charlie took Else and I ontop of the wall to look at the scenery... But it had to be the day the Collossal showed up. Charlie was pushed off the wall by the hand and Else slipped after trying to save her." I feel tears well in my eyes and I wipe them away. "I could've saved them both and prevented their deaths if I hadn't thought about the stupid titan instead of them. The worst part was that I had my gear on, so I would've been able to save them." I begin to choke on my tears and I can't hold them in anymore.
"I killed them both indirectly. It's my fault!" I wail, burying my face in my hands. A pair of arms wrap around me, and a hand begins stroking my hair.
"Don't dare say it's your fault. Stupid girl. You need to accept these things, you need to live a life without regrets." Levi mutters next to me. "Believe me when I say this, Furlan and Isabel's deaths still haunt me, including my mothers. I can't sleep at night because of them. They come to me in my dreams, dreams were I can't wake up until it's over. I blame myself for their deaths more than anyone, but someone taught me to just deal with it, because the past is past and cannot be changed. Although I bet you wish you could, it's impossible." He tells me, his voice soft and comforting. "Just imagine, they're both in a better place than this god-forsaken world, and they are watching your every move, watching you grow every passing day, wishing you victory every battle you fight. They don't want you to join them yet, although they must miss you, they want you to fix the world your going to grow up in. Just don't blame yourself ever again." He releases me and looks into my eyes, holding my shoulders. "Promise."
My bottom lip begins to tremble at his sudden kindness and I pull him into another hug. "Yes, I swear on my life. Thank you." He pulls out of my embrace and pets my head.
"Good, now go get changed, I'll wait outside until your done so I can lock you up." He stands up and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I get up and grab my ready nightware and quickly change into it. Wiping the salty tears off my cheeks.
"Finished!" I shout through sniffles. I sit on my bed waiting for him to come in and chain me up. He walks through the doorway wiping his eyes, that were red and puffy.
"Look what you done, brat." He laughs, fumbling with the ring of keys looking for the one that does my chains. I giggle a tiny bit. "You know, for an eighteen year old, your the most childish yet strongest one I've ever met."
"Really?" I ask as he finishes doing up my chains.
"Yes, now go. to. sleep. I'll be here to wake you up in the morning." He stands up and walks over to the doorway.
"Goodnight, Levi." I whisper softly, getting under my covers. He smiles lightly and turns to look at me.
"Goodnight, Ezlyn." He whispers back then walks out of the room. I listen to his footsteps slowly fading away up the the stairway. I close my eyes and smile into my pillow. I let myself relax and tire. The next moment, I'm fast asleep.
*
"Hanji! Section Commander! You here?!"
I open my eyes and sit up. "Moblit?" I yawn.
"Ezlyn, this is urgent. Have you seen Hanji." He says running into my room with a set of keys. He starts unlocking my chains frantically.
"No, but I last saw her talking to Eren in the mess hall about Titans. Why do you need her?" I reply after he finishes unlocking my chains.
"You're not going to like the sound of this but, someones killed Hanjis test subjects." My eyes snap open and I get up.
"Quick go get her, Moblit!" He runs out of the room and back up the stairs while I quickly get into my uniform. I fling my cape on and run out bumping into someone.
"Tch, look where your-"
"Levi, Hanji's test subjects have been killed." I interrupt him. He stops and looks at me.
"What? Who unlocked your chains?" He asks, rubbing his forehead.
I roll my eyes. "Captain, I'm sure this is urgent. Moblit did-" I was interrupted by a shout and some screaming. Levi and I glanced at eachother then began running up the stairs.
Hanji was sprinting out the door faster than lightning wit Moblit trying to catch up with her.
"I guess we'll need to go with them, before Hange does something stupid." Levi sighs. Levi squad came running down the stairs with their gear on and swords drawn.
"We heard screaming, did someone turn into a Titan?" Eld shouts.
"No, get your horses ready, we're going to Trost." Levi replys and they all snap into action. "C'mon, you too Jeager!" Eren runs by me with bags under his eyes. I run out behind him and into the stables to retrieve Zip. I slid Zips tack onto his back then shoved the bridal in his mouth.
"Sorry boy, but we need to be quick." I whisper to him. I drag him out the stable and see that theres no mounting block. I click my tongue. "Can someone give me a leggie?!" I shout between the bunch of scouts ready to depart.
"I can." Eren comes up to me and goes down on one knees, cupping his hands for me. I sit my foot on his hand and he pushes me up unto Zips back.
"Thanks, Eren."
Everyone was ready to go and Captain rode to the front. "We're going to go as fast as we can to catch up with that crazy lady. Just like we usually have to. Let's go!" Levi yells turning back around and kicking his horse on. We all follow in a gallop and Zip managed to get up next to Levi's horse, but just before Zip went past Levi's horse I pulled him back a bit so I wouldn't get into trouble.
"Ezlyn, go ahead, we'll need to catch up with her as soon as possible. I trust you won't do anything bad." Levi yells to me.
I smile a bit. "Yes Captain!" I shout back and race ahead of him. I've been on this track many times before, so many infact, I remember all it's twists and turns like it is the back of my hand. Zip flys by the forest line and gallops into the massive plains. I could see Wall Rose on the horizon and kicked Zip on a little more. He was an agile and full-of-stamina type of horse, so his gallop was fast yet smooth.
In the distance I saw two small figures in the distance on horse-back and I guessed it was Hanji and Moblit so I continued my path. I hear some hooves behind me and I look over my shoulder. Levi squad had caught up with me and their horses were huffing and snorting, trying to keep up with Zips pace.
"I've caught sight of the crazy lady, Captain." I inform Levi.
"Ah, I can see that." He deadpans.
I scoff and fall back behind him and next to Eren, who was falling asleep in the saddle. "I'm guessing Hanji gave you one of her 5 hour Titan talk, huh?" I ask him. He jolts up and rubs his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, she did. I'm exhausted." He groaned, his voice tired and effortless. I chuckle and turn serious.
"Apart from that, I wonder who killed her test subjects. Whoever did it must really hate Titans." I say to him.
"Yeah, but I guess there'll be an investigation to find out who done it." Eren adds. I nod and the gate is in view, with two tired horses tied up outside. Instead of leaving the horses outside the gate we ride through it, into Trost. We arrive at an area cut off from the public eye, surrounded by boards and fences.
We all dismount and walk into the area full of disturbed people. I spot Hange almost immeadiatly.
"Sawney! Beane! My babies!" She screams in front of the Titan corpses, pulling at her hair. I stand next to Eren in shock at the state she was in. I felt a hand go down on one of my shoulders and I turn to face Commander Erwin. He sat one of his hands on my shoulder and the other on Erens.
"What do you think the enemy is?" He inquires us. I stand there and stare at him, trying to process the question properly. I go to answer but he interupts. "Sorry, strange question." He stands up straight and turns around to Levi, who's waiting for him. I stand and stare at him as he walks away wih Captain Shortman by his side. But still, did he really mean to ask that question...
________________________________________________________________________________
Hehe cliffhanger...