"Silas... Man... Come on... You've got to calm down." The way Liam says the words does very little to actually help me stop pacing back and forth across the room with my hands shaking... All it does is make me stare him down and walk faster while my wolf tries to express our anxiety by trying to get me to shift so we can protect Addy... And our baby... "I know that that was scary... I do... But even sleeping you know Adrian is feeling everything you feel... And you heard Paxton... No stress. Adrian needs to keep as calm as possible right now, and for the rest of his pregnancy... Which means you need to be calm, otherwise his bedrest is going to be pointless."
I know growling at Liam doesn't make him less right... But it's still hard to try and make myself calm down when today has left me so much more than wound up...
For the first time ever... I had had to make myself leave the room Addy was in... Because it felt like the longer I watched him sleep the more it came to mind just how much worse today could have gotten if what we thought might have been happening was actually happening...
I couldn't stop my brain from coming up with the awful thoughts and what-ifs of the situation... And it had made my wolf more than wary of almost every single person who entered the room, nurses included... I had needed to physically remove myself from his bedside just so that the nurse on duty could actually change out his IV bag... His cramps earlier likely being from a combination of stress and dehydration... The dehydration being treated while he does his best to rest and relax as much as he can when taking into consideration just how awful today has played out...
"Look... I know that that was scary, Sigh... But Adrian needs you... You know that, right? Your Luna needs you to be protective, and warm, and calm... And I know it's not easy trying to be calm after going through a day like today... But I will make sure that you have time and space to process that if you can just even yourself out long enough for us to get Adrian home and in bed where he belongs right now... Is that a deal?" I really don't tell Liam just how much I appreciate him in moments like these... Not that I've actually had many of them since finding my Addy... But it's still appreciated that he always manages to make himself heard to me even when I feel as overwhelmed as I feel right now... "I'll even make sure he stays in bed and play nurse whenever you need me to... Just we won't be able to take him home if they think home is going to be stressful, which it will be if you are a ball of nerves the whole time... He won't feel safe, or relaxed."
I know he's right... I know he's right... And my wolf knows he's right... It's just hard to try and calm myself when both halves of me feel so worked up over what the possible fallout could have been... The thought of losing not only my parents but also the baby too...
Even now just thinking about what it could have been makes me feel sick to my stomach... I already love our Nugget so much... Losing the pregnancy... And like this... It would have been too much for me... It would have been too much for Addy... And I don't think either of us would have ever been able to recover from that kind of loss... It... It's just too much... It's too much to the point of just the thought being enough to nearly break my mind completely with how painful it is to even think about...
Luckily... It was just stress and dehydration... Just stress... And dehydration... And that's what I keep telling myself to back away from the edge of the mental cliff I've been standing on in my mind before unclenching my teeth and answering my concerned Beta while he watches me wind my pacing back and forth out here in the waiting room down with his arms crossed over his chest in the most stressed position I've ever seen him take on while standing, "I... I don't need you to play nurse... But... Maybe you could sit with him for a little while when we get home so I can take a few minutes to clear my head? Not... Not out in the backyard... In the kitchen... I... I can make you and Cas dinner while I do it as a thank you? I can't... It won't be fancy though..."
The look on Liam's face screams relief when I finally stop my feet and start my mouth intent on communicating what I need to him... The gentle understanding smile he serves me seeming to sprout so naturally on his face further disarming a minute bit of my anxiety... "Don't worry about making dinner or saying thank you right now. You can do that later, and we'll be able to appreciate it more knowing that it didn't add any extra stress to your shoulders right now..."
The way he says his chosen words lifts a weight from my shoulders that I hadn't noticed being added on with everything else pressing down on me and Addy so heavily, tears cropping up in my eyes when he continues, "In fact, if you want, Cassie and I can cook for you two after you've taken your few minutes to decompress a little bit... Or order in...I don't want you to worry about anything other than yourself and Adrian right now... Cassie and I can handle things with the pack to make sure everyone is alert and aware that we have a possible poaching situation on our hands, and if you want, we can even help look after Mason while he heals so he doesn't have the chance to cause any trouble... You just focus on you, Adrian, and the baby, alright?"