Stella was gone a few hours after the pizza came, leaving with a promise to call and meet up again soon. The next day Stella and I were both working, and Thursday I had class all day.
Stella caled me a few hours after I got out of class that day, inviting and persuading me to go to her apartment, while the guys were there. I rememebered trying to talk her out of it, asking if we could go somewhere else, but she was stubborn, and early Friday afternoon, I was in my car, heading towards the address she'd given me.
I was nervous, and not because of seeing Zack, but because of seeing the rest of the guys: Alex, Rian and Jack. Not a single part of me was bothering to deny it was going to be weird, uncomfortable, at least in the beginning. Since Stella and Zack both accepted me back into their lives, the rest of them would, most likely, but we couldn't just forget about everything that had happened as much as I wanted to.
When I got to her building, I looked, imagining how big the space would be considering the size of the building. I wiped my hands on my shorts, palms sweating slightly already.
Clamd own, I told myself. It wouldn't be as bad as I thought. I knew the worst would be the awkwardness at first, but after that, everything would be fine, almost like back in Maryland. Almost.
I texted Stella, letting her know I was coming up. She buzzed me in, and I took the elevator up, crossing my arms and staring at the numbers as they rose. As I stepped out of the elevator, a door to an apartment opened and Stella stuck her head out, grinning when she saw me. She took a step into the hallway, hand resting on the handle as I walked towards her.
"Hey," I said quietly, hesitating outside the door. She greeted me back and pulled the door open, but I didn't move. "Are you coming?" she asked, lightly laughing.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked quietly, and Stella smiled, shaking her head softly.
"Of course, it'll be fine. Come on," she urged, grabbing my arm lightly to pull me inside.
I looked around, the same way Stella had in my apartment. I was right; it was so much bigger than mine, bigger and nicely decorated. I could see Zack, Rian and Alex seated in recliners and on couches, a flat screen showing a paused video game. They were talking, still unaware that I'd come in.
"They've been playing that game for hours. It shouldn't be much longer before they end it," she whispered. "I think Jack lost a lot," she added, and I laughed, watching as Jack stood up, his hands int he air before flipping his middle finger towards Alex. Alex chucked a pillow at him, aiming at his head. Jack caught it and threw it back before his eyes landed on us.
I felt my face flush as everybody else turned to me, keeping mostly straight faces except for Zack, who smiled and walked around the couch towards us.
"Hey," he said softly, glancing at Stela who smiled and headed back to the couch, to Alex. "I didn't know you were coming by."
"Stella made me," I said, laughing nervously. "I didn't think it was a good idea," I added, muttering, glancing at the eyes still on us.
"No, it's okay,' he said. "They'll get used to it. Besides, I think Jack is actually really excited to see you," he joked. I glanced around him at Jack, still grinning at me as he winked. I shook my head, looking back up at Zack.
"Come on," he said, nodding his head towards the seats. I followed behind him, feeling like I did the first time I'd met Stella and the guys. I was scared that day, but it hadn't taken long for that feeling to wear off. I remember thinking how easy it was to be around Zack's friends, how fun they were and how easily they took to new people. I guess that was kind of like that time, like being re-introduced to them.
Stella had sat next to Alex on the large sectional where Zack had been sitting, catching my eyes as I walked over. Alex nodded his head in my direction, waving a hand lazily, reclined into the couch, his arm around Stella who was leaning into him, her legs tucked beneath her. Rian said hello, smiling warmly from his seat. I said it back, sitting down where Zack had pointed to, close to where he was sitting, and as I did, Jack fell between us, more or less sitting on top of me, draping an arm around my shoulder. It was just like high school, he was too comfortable with everyone.
'"Do you ahve to be so fucking weird? She's probably uncomfortable enough without you sitting on her," Alex said to Jack.
"She likes it," Jack wiggled his eyebrows. I couldn't help but laugh under his weight.
"Move your fat ass and get off her, you're probably crushing her," Alex said again, and Jack's profile showed him pouting in Alex's direction as he stood up, moving to sit at an empty spot on the couch. I met Zack's eyes, both of us smiling. I knew he wa shappy I was here, even if I was still adjusting to being back.
"Are we going to play or what?" Jack asked loudly, picking up a controller, looking around. "I need another chance to kick your asses."
"Jack, you suck at this game," Rian said, and Jack looked at him, serious.
"I'm winning this one, you watch," he challenged.
Alex pulled his arm away from Stella to grab his own controller and she took the opportunity to slide over, sitting herself next to me.
"You okay?" she asked. I looked and nodded, smiling softly. She grinned, looking happy. I knew she really wanted to have me back, as close as everything had been in high school.
"See, I told you it'd be fine," she beamed, crossing her legs in front of her. I couldn't say she was wrong. It was fine that I was here, I was probably the only one who seemed uncomfortable, but even that feeling had started to wear off.
As the hours passed, I ended up feeling happy that Stella had persuaded me into coming over. A part of me had missed hanging out with the rest of the guys, the sore feeling I got in my stomach from laughing so hard and the genuine smile that they could put on anyone's face.
For a while, it was a good distraction from everything else; school, work, Craig. I hadn't worried about trying to think of what to say if he called, or giving in and calling him. I hadn't thought about our argument, or how upset he'd be if he knew I was here, which was one of the reasons I tried not to come. It had been surprisingly easy not to think of him, until my phone started ringing in my pocket and his name was flashing across the screen.