MELANIE DIDN'T HOLD back in the slightest; she was still bombarding him with questions as they went for their third lap around the hospital. She enquired further about the Beyond, her memories, some of the times she had apparently spent with Lucifer in her youth. All of that which her illness had stolen from her.
It was overwhelming to hear things about herself and the experiences that had shaped her into the person she had become and not be able to relate to them, to remember them. It pained her to feel so out of touch with her own life and to see Louis so saddened also by her memory loss.
"It'll all come back soon," he reassured her - and himself, she suspected - several times as they wandered through the empty halls of the cancer ward.
The vacant beds, tangle of wires and blinking monitors left a bad taste in her mouth. She had spent the last several months of her life in the hospital and she had never felt as alone and helpless. Despite no longer being by herself, the place still left her feeling empty. She could only blame that on the blank spaces in her memory. She had a strong feeling that once she was herself again, she would feel a little more at ease.
"I thought you said that the souls you claimed went with you to Hell," Melanie pointed out. She paused as her gaze landed on a lone wheelchair sitting by the window of the room on her left. "You've claimed my soul. Why am I here? Why have you not taken me to Hell?"
"Well, if you want to go to Hell so badly, you should have just stayed dead the first time round, Melanie," Louis teased. He crossed his arms and followed her eyes to the wheelchair. "I could take you to Hell right now if you so wished. But once we're there, there's no returning to the Beyond. So, if we leave here without your memories in tact, you'll only be half the person you are - were - when you were alive. So I tend to remain here with my souls until they are ... fully charged, let's say."
"So I'm on fifty percent basically?"
"In a manner of speaking." His gaze fell to her face. "I know it's all a lot to take in."
She scoffed. "You think? Finding out you're dead, your soul has been claimed by Lucifer and you're to be his slave for all eternity... Not the most pleasant of things to be thrown at you out of the blue."
"Except it wasn't; you knew all of this already. Before the dementia. You'll remember."
"I better," Melanie snapped before she pushed past him, her shoulder knocking against his. She heard him chuckling to himself as he caught up beside her and slung an arm around her shoulders like they were best pals. "Oi!" she protested and shoved him off.
He held his hands up in surrender. "I apologise, Granny."
"You watch your mouth, sonny," Melanie scolded, pointing her finger in warning at him. She frowned at her hand, realising the effect wasn't quite the same unless her skin was wrinkled like a prune.
Jenny had always told her she was a feisty old hag and some part of her deflated at the realisation that the years, months, days, hours that had shaped her into the woman she had been on her death bed, no longer existed. At least not in the same way.
She was still her, though changed.
There were flashes of memories from her life she could still recall, both happy and sad. She knew she had lived a long and mostly happy life, blessed with her friends and family, the places she had visited and lives she had touched, though it was all so bizarre to have the memories of an eighty, nearly ninety, year old woman's life crammed into the body of an eighteen year old.
"You're thinking," Louis said suddenly, breaking her from her thoughts.
"Yeah. I was just thinking how strange it is to be young again but to still remember everything about my life. Well, almost everything," she amended as he raised a brow at her. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah, I get it. You're not the worst case I've had to deal with, believe it or not.
"Once, there was this little boy appeared in the Beyond, about four or five years old. Near-drowning accident. Obviously he was far too young to understand what I was really offering him, so I had to baby talk it to him. He lived, long and happy. Married, had four children and died of lung cancer in his seventies. Of course, because he had been so young when he had first appeared here, he literally couldn't remember a thing. It wasn't a case of time having passed and it just slipped his mind as the years went on - he just literally couldn't recall. At that age, kids mix up their reality with dreams, believing in all that crap about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus and-"
"The Devil and God?" Melanie finished for him.
He took a deep, deep breath.
"Sorry. Go on," Melanie told him.
"Kids find it hard to separate dreams and reality. At his age, it was but a dream being here. So when we met again years later, he refused - flat out refused - to believe what I told him, even after his memories returned fully."
Melanie frowned, unsure where he was going with this. "Are you saying that even after mine come back, there's a chance I'll not remember you? Remember us?"
Louis just shrugged. "There is the slight possibility. However, I don't think that'll be the case. You were eighteen and you tend to remember things more clearly when you're an adult. Not four, for Hell's sake."
"And the dementia? Will that not affect the process?"
Louis shook his head. "It shouldn't. Because we met before the dementia. Therefore, it'll only be small things after you were diagnosed that you may not remember."
Melanie's heart sank in her chest. Would she forget things about her family? Jenny and Tristan had visited her faithfully at the hospital, after the illness had been diagnosed. Precious last moments with her family were not ones she wanted to lose forever.
In silence, the two of them continued to meander through the hospital, doing anything and everything to pass the time. They played a sad man's version of ring toss, launching stethoscopes at a heart monitor from one end of the room to the other, played hang man on some old sign-in sheets at the reception and even a small round or two of truth or dare to pass the time.
"I dare you to ... do a cartwheel," Louis decided with a grin Melanie's way.
"A cartwheel? How old do you think I am? I'll pop my hip again if I - oh."
Louis just laughed as Melanie hid her embarrassment behind her hands.
"Cartwheel or forfeit," Louis demanded, tapping his fingers impatiently on the arm of the wheelchair he was faffing around in. Melanie had spent enough time in one to last her, well, a lifetime. She'd opted for the top of the reception desk. "What's it to be, Melanie Cooper?"
"It's McCauley," she automatically corrected.
A silence fell between them.
"Would you rather I call you by your husband's name or your maiden name?" Louis finally asked, all mischief flickering from his eyes.
"I..." Melanie stopped herself. What would she prefer? "I'm not sure."
"Tell me about him," Louis suggested. "If you don't want to do the cartwheel, your forfeit is to indulge me in your married life."
"Pervert."
"Curious," he corrected.
"I take it we didn't stay in touch the years after I married?" Melanie asked.
Louis sighed deeply before answering. "No, we lost touch before you even met him, I believe."
"Oh." Something twisted in Melanie's gut. So, he mustn't have visited her for quite a long time then. "What would you like to know?"
Louis leaned back in the chair, the metal squeaking in protest. "How did you two meet would be a good place to start, no?"
Melanie smiled and cast her mind back, to a memory she did remember. "We met in a restaurant when my friend had set me up on a blind date. Funny thing was, he wasn't the date, it was someone else. It was going terribly and I was desperate to leave, so when we finally paid and said goodbye, I was waiting for the taxi to pick me up and it started raining. Gregory appeared by my side and offered to share his umbrella with me while I waited."
"Aw," Louis crooned. "Sounds like the perfect, perhaps cliché gent."
"Stop it," Melanie laughed. "He was to begin with. Perfect that is. We kept in touch after I'd told him I'd had a bad first date. He offered to take me out and show me how a real date was supposed to go. We went on several, started dating seriously and a few years later he proposed. It was unexpected and quite sudden but we were in love and it had felt right at the time."
Melanie's gut churned as a memory flashed before her eyes: a rainy night one February, the front door slamming open as Greg barged his way in from one of his many pub crawls. He was out of control, his voice raising with every word as he shot abuse at Melanie and eventually, a fist.
"He ... he was an alcoholic in later years," Melanie said over the lump in her throat. Sometimes she could still feel the throbbing in her face where that black eye had formed. "I loved him nonetheless. For the kids."
Louis pondered as he inhaled deeply. "By the sounds of it, he wasn't worth the kids' time. Or yours, for that matter."
Melanie scowled at him. "My marriage has nothing to do with you."
Louis held his hands up. "I meant nothing by it. I only hope you realise now that you could have done so much better."
"As if you would know or understand," she snapped.
Louis held her stare, showing no emotion at all. Melanie was astonished to find some part of her wanted him to be hurt and she scolded herself for being so cruel. She wasn't the type to purposely inflict pain on others and she could only mutter an embarrassed, "Sorry," as the silence continued to stretch.
A muscle feathered in Louis' jaw and Melanie swallowed her sudden uneasiness. Was she crazy? To insult the Devil - if he even was the Devil - wasn't her most clever option. She was playing with fire.
"I've lived a very, very long time," Louis finally said. "I've seen countless relationships, hundreds, thousands - Hell, millions. Every time, the outcome has been easy to guess. Either it works or it doesn't. From the bare minimum you've told me, I can tell he wasn't right for you."
Melanie nodded to herself. He was right. She'd been in denial for years, always defending Gregory whenever a new bruise appeared on her body, when her paranoia was noticed by more than just her family, when she would break down out of nowhere because she was so trapped in a loveless marriage. She felt stuck and yet she couldn't bring herself to leave. To take her kids away from their father and just leave.
Initially she'd felt only guilt when he had passed away. Guilt because of the relief of having him finally be gone from her life, from her kids' lives. No longer could he hurt them. The only thing that hurt Melanie was the past, the torturous memories that kept her up at night and reduced her to tears every day.
"The only good thing to have come from our marriage is the kids," she said with a small smile. "I have a son and a daughter."
Louis grinned. "I know you do. I've met Jenny."
Melanie started. "What?"
Louis just nodded. "I was waiting in the hospital while you passed. Jenny was there and we had a brief encounter."
Melanie could feel her heart racing in her chest. Funny, she thought, considering her heart was technically no longer beating. "What... What was she like? Was she OK?"
A scoff. "Melanie, she just watched you die. Her and her brother. How do you think she was?"
It wasn't his comment that caused her to burst into tears but the thought of leaving her children in such a fragile state. She wasn't an idiot, she knew it couldn't be helped. It's not like she chose to have cancer. Melanie just couldn't handle knowing how devastated they were without her.
"Shh, it's OK," Louis muttered as he pushed himself from the wheelchair and towards her. Slowly he lifted his arms, offering her a hug.
She took one look at him and found those blue eyes watching her face intently, invitingly. Before she could even hesitate, she threw herself at him, allowing him to envelop her tightly in his arms as she sobbed. It felt nice, the contact, the reassurance that she wasn't as alone as she felt in that moment.
She only wished she could hug her children and comfort them.
Louis began to stroke her hair. It was such a gentle touch, every caress of his fingertips easing her ragged breaths one by one. She couldn't deny the odd sensation that she felt while being near Louis, like she had known him at some point her life and that the comfort she drew from him was only that which could come from years of friendship.
But what had drove them apart, she wondered as she slowly pulled back to look in his eyes.
She sniffled. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" he asked, brushing her tears away with the pad of his thumb. The touch sent a shudder through her.
"For being so emotional. For shouting at you earlier and hitting you and breaking down. I'm just trying to wrap my head around everything and it's just taking some time..."
"There's no need to apologise. I'd be a bit worried if you didn't react like this."
His hands moved to cup her face, his eyes still focused on her face.
Those eyes, she thought. So familiar.
"I just feel helpless," she admitted with a hiccup. "I'm stuck here while my kids suffer, my memories are all over the place and you ... you're somehow familiar even though I don't know who you are. It's just all a bit much."
Louis offered her a small smile. "It's OK. I promise you that once your memories resurface, everything will make much more sense and not seem as shit." He hugged her to his chest again.
And then a memory cut across her blurry vision.
The world was spinning, her feet falling from under her. A man's voice - Louis' voice, she realised - telling her it would be alright rang in her ears. She saw her old friends Michael and Rachel and a children's play park. Louis was there, sitting on the swings beside her when she had been eighteen and in the Beyond for the first time.
It all clicked back into place.
Click. Like a jigsaw piece.
Then she was in Louis' arms again as the world spun, a bright light flashing before her eyes as they went to find her memories on the day of her accident. Louis had been there with her as they'd sat in the back of the car and she discovered her friends had betrayed her. Had planned to kill her...
She remembered that first time he had visited her when she had been too pumped full of drugs to keep a proper conversation flowing, her vision flowing in and out of focus. She saw him smiling down at her as he spun her in circles on prom night, the sneaky kisses they shared from time to time making her blush like a little girl.
"Louis," Melanie gasped. "I think I'm remembering."
That caught his attention; he was gripping her upper arms suddenly, anticipation written all over his face. "What do you remember?"
"I remember prom, everything about your visits..."
Another memory slid back into place.
Click.
Then they started to return quicker, one after the other.
Click. Click. Click.
"You visited me for years," she muttered as the images of their interactions flashed across her eyes like a movie. "We were so close..."
"And?" Louis prompted, smiling eagerly.
Michael appeared, her friend Derek - who later she bestowed the honour and responsibility of godfathering her children - and her first big night out after her accident. The times her and Louis had definitely broke out of the friendzone - for beneficial reasons, it seemed - and then the night Michael had been injured...
Oh, she thought grimly as the events played out before her.
In that moment she knew why she and Louis had lost touch.
"You..." she began as another memory took her by surprise.
"I ... what?"
Melanie burst out laughing as her eyes darted to Louis' pelvis. "I think I get your earlier comment now."
Louis just laughed and pulled her in close for a hug.
And that hug fixed everything.
That was it. Everything was there; her memories of Louis, the Beyond, the few years after she had grown ill and her mind had resembled a sieve. It was like an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders, finally remembering and understanding everything. She almost felt like crying now that she could remember everything and actually felt like herself again.
Louis had been right, she could laugh about it all now. How stupid she had sounded earlier and how foolish she felt for being so adamant that they didn't know each other.
Oh, how very wrong she was, as her memories proved. They knew each other very well - probably too well.
Melanie was still laughing as she wrapped her arms just as tightly around Louis. He lifted her with ease and spun her around in a circle like a cheesy couple in love. He began laughing with her, her chest reverberating against hers.
Oh, how she'd missed him.
How she'd missed herself.
"You're back," Louis muttered into her hair.
She pulled back and blew a few blonde strands out of her face. They were still in each others' arms, front to front and she felt herself swoon at the close contact. He had been right - once she hadn't been able to get enough of him.
"I never left technically," Melanie retorted. "You're the one who left."
Louis' head dropped. "Yeah... About that-"
"We don't have to talk about it just now," she interjected, her breath catching in her throat.
Melanie finally understood why they had lost touch. They'd agreed on it though and Melanie was almost grateful to find that was the case; that one hadn't hurt the other enough to drive a wedge between them. She knew they'd eventually have to talk about it but now was not the time. The selfish part of her wanted this time, the time they had spent apart, to reintroduce themselves to one another and for Lucifer to meet the woman she had become.
Louis nodded and looked to her with mischief in her eyes. His arms tightened around her and he pulled her tighter against his body. She felt his lower region brush against her and an unexpected flush tinted her cheeks.
A cheeky memory resurfaced and she found herself grinning at him.
It had been a long time since she had felt like this around anyone. Not even Gregory had managed to give her butterflies in the same way Louis had. Maybe it was because he was always particularly horny.
"So," Louis drawled, "you said you understood what I meant earlier, huh?"
He thrust against her suddenly and a girly sound, something between a laugh and a squeal, escaped her throat.
But Melanie was herself again. She remembered it all - the times they'd shared together and the times she had hoped they would have shared in the future. Despite her many years, the decades she had been married and raised her children, there had always been that cheeky flame in her that never been distinguished.
She grinned wider at him and shimmied her hips. "Oh, there we go."
"Yeah?" Louis sounded eager. "So you'll admit it now?"
Melanie leaned forward and pecked him on the nose before saying, "Admit what? Oh - no. I didn't mean your non-existent penis, Lucifer!" She patted his cheek like a child. "I was talking about the restoration of my memories. They're all back now and I don't recall a dick of any description."
"I..."
Lucifer was once again left speechless and Melanie could only cackle at him.
Thank you for reading! Please leave your thoughts below, I love reading what you guys have to say.
Cazza