I guess after all this time going to school and only talking to a few friends made me forget what it was like going to parties and hanging out with people like this. But being with Kokichi I assume this is something that will be happening more often. I don't mind this in the slightest because if anything I need to be getting out more--because god I stay inside studying and reading all the time.
"Shumai~" He groaned from the edge of my bed where he was sitting while I was getting ready for the party. Usually, I would be ready before he was ready, but in this case, I was so concerned about talking to Rantaro and having to talk about Kaede...as well as having to tell her about me and Kokichi's relationship. The idea of even having to do that makes me feel nervous. I mean I still have to talk to Rantaro about these things and god it was making me nervous.
"We should get going~!" He whines snapping me out of my thoughts again. Jeez Shuichi, focus. Breathe in, breathe out. You have to get ready, drive to the party with Kokichi, and then talk to Rantaro about me and Kokichi dating as well as talking to Kaede about the same thing...
"Right...right" I sighed to myself. Okay, so think of it like this Shuichi...you are telling an old friend about how you are dating the guy you have always had a crush on--except..
My face went pale for a moment as we walked out of the room to go down to the car with him. Rantaro's house was a little ways away...and I told Kokichi I was going to be driving. This being because we both know that he isn't able to drive well if he is tried--so I decided I was going to drive.
It's not that I don't like driving or anything like that...it's just Kokichi tends to be more touchy when it comes to affection and knowing he is indeed touch starved it only further proves my point. I want to be able to hold him in the back seat of the car while someone else drives, but so many of our friends have already left for the party. I looked over at Kokichi who was holding my hand as I led him to the passenger's seat before I moved to get into the driver's seat.
The night was fairly cold and it wasn't even that late for either of us yet. The nights get very full when either of us gets a big project because, believe it or not, Kokichi is a precrastinator same as I. So we both get working on it and try to do the best we can to get it done as quickly as possible...but this is our life now I guess going to this more demanding school—except the times all the classes work together and there are only a few small assignments. You may think that would be comforting to not have a lot of big assignments, but trust me when I say it's only more stressful.
Regardless of my thoughts, I started driving to where Rantaro's party was located. I felt a little nervous knowing this would be the first party that me and Kokichi went to as boyfriends. Kind of funny to think of how quickly this whole thing happened. I mean only last month the whole date happened and Kokichi and I confessed to one another. I even didn't expect him to feel the same way because he is always lying and messing with my feelings like paints on a canvas. A canvas he keeps adding more paints to making the art piece hard to interpret. Meaning that whenever I get close to analyzing him he always has more aspects and more colors that he shows to make this whole process difficult.
"Hey Shumai?" He asked slowly as I was getting onto the freeway. I looked over at him for a moment with a side glance. "Yes, Kokichi?" I asked, feeling a small blush come to my cheeks. I don't know why I was blushing, but when he does things like that how am I not supposed to blush?
"I wanted to thank you," he said looking to the side. I could tell he was blushing by the way his voice became more hushed. As if he was trying to hide something, make something unknown to me by lowering the volume of the one thing I can get any information from. This would usually work with anyone else if they weren't looking at him, but with me, I know exactly what this means.
He is so set on people not seeing his emotions and when he is flustered and things like that when really me, Shuichi Saihara, his boyfriend, wants to be able to see these emotions. I understand better than anyone that he tends to hide his emotions with this mask he puts on as a front—but here we are. I want to be able to see the real him, the Kokichi that shares his feelings, the Kokichi that cries when he feels sad, the Kokichi who is a tsundere, and the Kokichi who wants hugs as well as cuddles all the time.
"Thank you for all the time you have given to me and even wanting to be my boyfriend in the first place. I have to pinch myself every morning I wake up with you because in all honestly, I can't believe someone as amazing and talented as you would want to be with someone as annoying and selfish as I can be," He paused for a moment making my heartbeat quicken. I kept my focus on the road making sure to listen to him and take in his words while still paying close attention to the road...because the last thing either of us would want is to crash after speaking like this—on the freeway no less.
"But Kokichi you are great as well, so don't discredit yourself. You mean a lot to me and I love you. I enjoy every day we are able to wake up together and go to school holding hands, giving small kisses during breaks, and even hugging each other." I smiled softly seeing he was blushing out of the corner of my eye. "But Shuichi..." he started but I cut him off.
"I mean it Kokichi, every word." I smiled softly as our exit came. I took the exit and drove the rest of the way to Rantaro's house. Kokichi didn't say anything after that, but anytime I glanced over at him he seemed happy. His shoulders were more relaxed and he was holding his hands close to his heart with a slight blush on his cheeks. Seeing him like that made me want to just move over there and softly kiss his cheeks, his forehead, and his lips.
.
.
.
Rantaro's house was very large, it wasn't even a house, it was a mansion. Kind of intimidating to look at if you ask me. Kokichi noticed we had made it to the party when I parked. His head perked up and he looked out the window.
"Shumai! Look, it's the party!" He said smiling like a child opening a present. It was adorable. "I know! Are you ready to go inside and meet up with Rantaro?" I asked, feeling the anxious feeling come back over my shoulders.
"Hey." He said in a more serious tone after we both had gotten out of the car. "Yes?" I felt my whole body flinch at his words like I just pricked my finger somehow.
"You got this Shuichi, I know you do, just remember that if Kaede doesn't want to be friends with you any more than me and Rantaro as well as Maki...will be here for you," he said sounding ashamed to say Maki's name. I know they don't like each other much...but I hope after some time Kokichi and Maki will maybe be able to become friends.
"I know that, I guess I'm worried because we have been friends for so long...and I don't want to mess that up." I let my words drip like tar off my tongue. I felt like in a way it was painful to admit that Kaede has been my friend longer than anyone else I know...and this whole meeting may end up breaking our friendship.
"Hey, look at me Shuichi" his voice pulled me back from my thoughts and back into the moment. "Okay, so if Kaede is no longer friends with you because of this, sure you will lose a friend...but you will have a boyfriend and the friends that come with your boyfriend." He said, winking at me a bit. I flushed at this and looked at him.
"But Kokichi-" I started before he put his finger to my lips. "Shh~ silly Shumai~" he poked my nose, flustering me even more.
"Koki?" I asked slowly before he smiled at me again. "You always worry too much! You have to remember to lay back and calm down Shuichi! That's why I'm here!" He seemed so confident and it made me a little jealous because of how adorable he was being.
"I know that, well," I said looking over at the door where there was some party music playing. "We should go and find Rantaro so I can talk to him about this," I frowned a bit, not wanting to go with every fiber of my being, but this has to be done.
"You're right! So someone can tell Kaede that he is taken~" he cooed before quickly pulling me down for a kiss before releasing me an instant later. I blushed and couldn't even react before he started walking towards the doors without me. "Well, are you coming my beloved or not~?"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," I said slightly irritated with his teasing...but I knew I would be able to get him back later when we were back in the dorms. I dislike his teasing while at the same time I adore it. It reminds me that this relationship we have is still a puzzle neither of us has fully put together yet...but every moment I'm with him I can see that he is definitely farther ahead of me.
We walked into the party and there was loud music playing. It almost made me get a bad headache. People are talking and laughing with each other while some are getting drunk. Your typical high school party I guess...?
"Shuichi! Rantaro is over by the kitchen! I'm going to go to the game room in the basement okay?!" He yelled to me over the noise. I smiled and patted his head before kissing him goodbye. He blushed a bit before I went to go find Rantaro in the kitchen.
Sweaty teenagers were dancing around and laughing while I tried to get through all of them. It smelled like a party and honestly, it made me feel a little nauseous.
It was hard to navigate around all of the other people here because they were all dancing or talking in big groups. So I had to find ways to maneuver around them to get into the kitchen. It was honestly relieving to see Rantaro restocking snacks in the kitchen after all the smells and things that I had to walk through to get here.
"Hey Shuichi," Rantaro said kindly before Kaede came out from the other door of the kitchen. "Nice to see you again," Kaede said, making me flinch. Shit...I have to talk to them both at the same time?
-so, I apologize for being so slow with updates, my school has been terrible with planning and I have a physics test on Friday before taking the ACT on Wednesday next week with a calculus test the next day...with a big paper due on Friday as well as a multi-genre project due on Monday, I was able to finish this today after writing little bits and pieces in it the last couple of days. After next week updates should be back to normal! Thank you so much for your patience!-
-SK-