tw: sexual content
MARKS OF STRENGTH
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Draco's head on my chest, his arms around my torso as he hugged me tight. One of my hands was in his hair, my fingers threading through the strands of platinum. He held my other hand on my stomach, caressing my hand, threading his fingers in and out of mine. This is bliss.
"I'm sorry," he murmured so quietly I almost didn't hear him.
I looked down at him. "For what, Draco?"
He shrugged softly. I couldn't see his face from the angle his head laid on my chest. "The things I said. For that whole night. I didn't mean any of it."
My heart clenched. I sighed quietly. "It's okay."
He lifted his head to look at me. His eyes were sad, forlorn. "It's not okay. I was-I was terrible."
I could see the sincerity behind his eyes. Taking one side of his face in my hand, my thumb brushed over his cheek; he was warm to touch, the faintest tinges of crimson on his pale cheeks.
"It's okay," I said firmly. "Maybe it was the wake up call we both needed so I could see that I wasn't as okay as I told myself I was. I know you didn't... mean those things."
Draco sighed, frowning as he pressed his face further into my hand. He placed his hand overtop mine that cupped his face before sliding my hand over, placing a soft kiss in my palm. "I'm sorry I hurt you."
Every inch of me fluttered.
Infatuated, intoxicated, captive to the beams of his heart and soul. I could soak in all that he is forever and still be right here. Still wanting more.
"You sweeten and soften my soul, Draco Malfoy." I pulled him into me, kissing him tenderly. He responded with the same aching weakness. Our shields fell and in this kiss we became exposed to the bone, our hearts on full display to one other; vulnerable and pure.
"We should get to the Great Hall for dinner," he murmured against my lips, pulling back a fraction.
I smiled against him, his breath warm on my mouth. "We should."
Our lips connected again. Laying on his bed, Draco hovered above me; his hands tangled in my hair. He tasted sweet like apple and I was growing intoxicated off his breath that combined with mine to become one. I wrapped my arms around his neck, lightly tugging on the short hairs on the nape of his neck.
His smile grew against my mouth.
His lips moved from mine to my jaw and under my ear as he peppered me with delicate kisses that made my stomach flicker. I exhaled sharply as his tongue swirled around a tender spot on my neck.
As his lips captured mine again, he gripped my hips firmly.
I was pulling all of him into me and soaking in the ecstasy of his kisses that left me feeling warm and floating. I'm tipsy off love. Everything feels saturated.
His mouth moved downward; Draco's hot breaths fanning over my collar bone before his lips attach to a sensitive spot on my neck. His tongue is a witchcraft of its own as he sucks on my skin, surely intending to leave a mark that will display his dominion.
A quiet moan escaped my lips that caused Draco to smile against my skin. My breath had become nearly panting and laboured-and Draco shared the same strain in having to contain himself.
As he climbed back up to kiss my lips again, his hands slid under my shirt. His fingertips brushing along my stomach, advancing higher. My skin tingled from his touch as though I was touching the very stars in the sky.
He touched me so delicately, almost timidly. His hands began going around my ribcage, his fingertips nearing my back.
I froze under his touch.
Gently, my hands fell onto his chest.
"I-"
Draco pulled back, his eyebrows furrowing. "I'm sorry. Did I do something?" His eyes fell into a panic as his gaze searched my face-trying to establish what he had done wrong.
A lump formed in my throat and I suddenly felt unusually timid; an unnerved sensation settling in the pit of my stomach. I quickly shook my head. "No, nothing. Not at all. I just-I remembered I need to-to talk to Ginny before dinner. She-she had a-an emergency. I'm sorry."
Draco blinked, confused but he retracted and gave me an odd smile. "Don't apologize," he paused, wary. "Is everything alright?"
I scrambled up so I was sitting. "Everything's fine. Just girl stuff, the usual."
Draco ran a hand through his hair, nodding. "Okay. I'll see you-after dinner?"
Avoiding his gaze, I crawled out of his bed and slid my shoes on. "Of course."
I nearly ran out of his room and back to the Gryffindor common room with my heart beating rapidly. I swung open Hermione's room door-thankful to see she was there with Ginny and Pansy. They all turned to look at me.
Pansy lied on her stomach on Hermione's bed. She quirked an eyebrow as she glanced up from the muggle magazine she had been reading. "Running a marathon, are you?"
Hermione and Ginny sat on the carpeted ground as Hermione painted Ginny's toenails.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked, eyes growing concerned.
"I-I just-" I closed the door behind me, breathing heavily. "I just ran away from Draco mid-make-out-session."
Pansy's jaw dropped as she sat upright. "Seriously?"
"What did he do?" Ginny stood up, slowly approaching me with her eyes narrowed. "I'll kill him."
"No, nothing like that." I shook my head. "I just-I-"
"What's wrong, bubba?" Pansy frowned as she hopped off the bed and walked over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder as she guided me to sit on the edge of the mattress.
I sighed, staring down at my hands. "We haven't... done anything yet, you know."
Hermione blinked, her eyebrows shooting up. "Really? I was sure you lot were shagging on the regular. Considering-"
"Mione!" Ginny gasped, throwing her a pointed look. "Not the time."
"Sorry. Go on, Lys."
I ran a hand down my face that was glowing red in embarrassment. "We were too busy dealing with my trauma and we didn't officially date for long before the break happened."
"But you've had sex with other people," Pansy said confusedly. "Are you not ready to go there with Draco?"
"It's not that," I grumbled. "It's-well-fuck, let me just show you."
My stomach churned as I stood, moving so I was in front of the three of them who shared similar looks of concern and confusion. I turned so my back was facing them-before slowly pulling my shirt over my head to be left in my bra.
They were silent.
As they looked at my scar covered back, they remained silent. Spread along my back were multiple cicatrixes, some an inch big, some extended far longer. The constant reminders of my history carved into my flesh-Samael Hadeon's very own incised branding. Demons woven right into my skin.
Sighing, I slipped my shirt back on before turning to face my friends. I couldn't bear the pitiful yet sympathetic looks on their faces.
"It's fucking hideous," I lowered myself onto the ground, hugging my knees to my chest. "I'm fucking hideous. Not to mention the ones on my arms or thigh. I can't-I can't show Draco that. It's ugly and gross and makes my stomach churn." I shook my head, my energy draining entirely. "He's been with the Greengrasses and-Merlin knows how many other people. He's been with Goddesses and he can have anyone he wants-so why the fuck would he want this? My body is a fucking museum of despair and torture. I can't even look at myself, why would he want to-once he sees all this fucking disfigurement?"
Pansy blinked rapidly before rushing over to me. She fell onto the ground in front of me, taking my hands in hers. Her eyes were glossed over. "Elysia, don't ever fucking think such a thing. That breaks my heart."
Ginny and Hermione followed, the three of them sitting around me.
"Merlin, you were my first crush when I was eleven. Did you know that?" Ginny's smile was torn. "You've always been beautiful, Lys. I'm not just saying that as your friend."
I bit the inside of my cheek. I felt-absolutely disgusting. "That was before. Now I'm tarnished in hideous scars owing to a monster who nearly broke me whole." I ran a hand down my face, exasperating. "What if Draco sees... me and cringes as much as I do when I look in the mirror?"
My body clad with appalling defects, branding me to a hellion who continued to live on with the sheer purpose of reminding me that perhaps I was still no more than wreckage and fragmented remains.
Draco would see the revolting monstrosity stains on my skin and I wouldn't be surprised if the sight of me became repulsive. Abhorrence. Disgust. Why would he want to be with someone as hideous as the monster who made her this way?
Pansy swallowed thickly, shaking her head furiously as she took my face in her hands. "He could never. You are nothing but beautiful inside and out."
"You are a survivor, a fighter." Ginny spoke unwavering, looking me dead in the eye. "That is what those scars have written all over your body."
"They are scars for a reason," Hermione's voice trembled lightly, speaking softly. "They don't hurt anymore. They do nothing more than tell your story and show your strength. They are no more than a reminder of all the things you've lived through and survived. You're strong, Lys. These scars made you who are. If anything, they add to the beauty you're already embedded in."
I exhaled a shaking breath, unwitting tears rolling down my cheeks silently. "I'm not-I'm not ugly?"
"Not at all, bubba." Pansy failed to fight her own tears as she brushed mine away. "These scars-they mean you are so much stronger than whatever tried to hurt you."
"Imperfect and flawed like us all. That is entirely what makes us beautiful." Ginny nudged me, smiling.
"Killer body." Pansy scoffed, laughing through her tears. "Sex on legs, you are. You're literally hot as fuck-Ginny and I actually had a conversation about having a threesome with you."
I clasped a hand over my mouth, stifling laughs. "Shut up."
"She's not lying," Ginny mumbled sheepishly, her face flushing. "Really, you're stunning, Lys. From your body to your soul, you are beautiful."
"And if anyone thinks otherwise, they don't know art." Hermione smiled tenderly, subtly brushing the wetness from her eyes.
"I fucking love you guys." I sniffled.
They simultaneously awed before multiples arms wrapped around me, hugging me until I could no longer breathe.
-
Admittedly, I was a nervous wreck when I went back to Draco's room after dinner.
I adored my friends. Their words lifted a massive weight off my shoulders that had been sitting there for months now. I felt better. I felt less disgusting and insecure-which I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to.
Nevertheless, I was still slightly ashamed-embarrassed and terrified of what Draco would think when he saw the defects etched in my flesh.
When I opened his room door, he laid in his bed with a book in hands. As soon as he saw me, he sat straighter and pushed away the book.
"Hey." He smiled faintly. "You lot got to dinner pretty late."
I nodded, closing the door behind me. "We just got caught up talking."
Draco's eyebrows pulled together when I approached him, standing beside his bed. Cold water was not enough to entirely rid the puffy redness of my eyes.
"Mon coeur, what's wrong?" Draco swung his legs over the bed and took my hands in his. "Something was off earlier too. I sensed it. What's wrong? Did I do something? Was I going too fast?"
Standing in front of him, I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. "It's not you. The last thing I want to do is go back to being all-broken and damaged because we're finally-you know, healed and things are supposed to be simple."
"Simple is boring," Draco mumbled quietly. He squeezed my hands. "Please tell me what's wrong."
I opened my eyes to look at him. The worry on his face made my heart ache. "I sort of freaked earlier, didn't I?"
"A little." He smiled sheepishly. "All you ever have to do is tell me to stop and there won't be even a finger on you. You should know that. Always."
I exhaled shakily, smiling weakly. "It's not that at all, Draco."
"Then what?"
I squeezed his hands-more because I needed to clench my own fists.
I had to get this over with.
It was too terrifying.
I stepped away from Draco, my hands sliding out of his. He watched me in confusion as I took a few more steps back.
I held my breath as I unbuttoned my pants. I couldn't look him in the eye.
"Elysi-"
"Please don't say anything yet," I pleaded, my eyes closing. "Just wait. This isn't a strip tease, don't get excited."
My hands were shaking uncontrollably as I pulled off my pants and kicked them aside before bringing my shirt over my head and throwing it aside as well.
I stared at the ground, wanting to wrap my own arms around my exposed body to hide as much of it as I could. But I didn't. Standing in my undergarments, entirely vulnerable with my museum of despair on full display, I slowly lifted my gaze to meet his eyes.
I held out my arms, shrugging pathetically. "Here's me." Holding my breath, I turned so my back was facing Draco. "In all my-Godforsaken besmirch. You might as well know what you're-settling for. It's totally fine if this diminishes whatever attraction you may have previously held. I wouldn't blame you-I mean I wouldn't want to have sex with this monster eith-"
I was cut off.
My breath hitched when Draco's hot breath fanned my shoulder from behind me.
I froze in spot.
Slowly, almost with caution, Draco pressed a tender kiss on my shoulder. I almost shivered when his fingertips brushed along my skin to move aside my hair.
He sighed softly. He stood so close, his chest was against my back, his lips next to my ear. I could feel his breath on the side of my face.
Gently, Draco placed his hands on my arms and turned me to face him. His eyes held adoration; like perfect flower buds opening in the dawn of spring. He took my face in his hands as his eyes glossed over.
"You're beautiful. So fucking beautiful," he exhaled in an almost whisper. "I could be offered all the sights in the world but I would only ever want to look at you."
"But, I-" my voice cracked.
Draco shook his head softly. "You are beautiful," he said slowly, pointedly enunciating each word. "I will kiss each mark of your strength on your body until I can no longer breath, for these-" his hands moved to my back as he pulled me closer into his chest. His fingertips traced over some scars. "These make a tapestry of strength that you carry with grace."
I could cry.
Mark of strength. He doesn't call them scars, he calls them marks of strength.
I was crying. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, rooting from deep in my soul, built with molecules of pure love for this boy.
Draco gently brushed away my tears before pulling my face towards him, kissing me with a delicacy that could shatter the planet. I could taste the salt from my tears sliding into the kiss.
With our lips still attached, we stumbled towards the bed. We only pulled away from one other when we fell onto the mattress, both of us laughing. We laid on our sides facing each other, half our legs dangling off the side of the bed.
Draco smiled tenderly; his eyes swimming in an admiration that left me breathless, he peered at me. His moved a hand up to tuck my hair behind my ear. "I love you. Endlessly."
He is a dream that doesn't even feel real.
"I love you," I exhaled.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I could say it forever and it still would never express how deeply I felt for him. Love didn't seem like a strong enough word-yet it was the strongest word for this feeling. But still, this felt like so much more.
Draco kissed me deeply. It was slow. Not rushed or impatient. Just desperate.
His touch was frail; his hands sliding along my body, his fingers tracing my spinal cord, along each hypertrophic scars he found. My hands slid under his shirt and roamed along his hard abdomen.
He pulled back to pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside. Quick to have his lips back on mine.
Everything about him felt so familiar and-like home. Every touch. Every kiss. Every shared breath.
Breathless, Draco pulled away. He hovered above me, peering down at me as his gaze travelled along every inch of my face. His fingers threaded through my hair. He took me all in as though he were consuming me whole but taking his time to do so. Finally, his eyes flickered onto mine.
"We can stop if you want." He spoke softly. "Do you want this?"
I nodded quickly. I want him more than anything.
Propped up on his elbow, he brought my hand to his lips and kissed the inside of my palm. I was swimming in bliss. "I need to hear you say it, my love."
"I want you." My voice came out breathless. I blinked, staring up at him. "I want you, Draco."
In a quick movement, his arm looped under my back and lifted me right up off the mattress so he could shift us. I was panting. My skin burned under his touch. Every fibre in my being was on fire.
He slipped off his pants to be left in his boxers. I was marvelled. He was a sight for sore eyes-far more. He was a blossoming garden of beauty and all I could do was gape as I burned the image of him to my mind. So fucking beautiful.
My head fell back as I rasped for air when his lips found the base of my neck. My fingers trailed along his shoulders, embedding the feeling of his skin into my fingertips. He kissed every inch of me. I was set ablaze under him with an indescribable feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. My mind had fallen behind a haze-all I could think was this must be was ecstasy feels like.
Reaching under me, Draco unclasped my bra and threw it aside. I was gasping, my eyes wide and staring up at the ceiling as he kissed along my collarbones and down my sternum. The heat of his touch kindled tiny fires along every inch of my skin.
Peppering kisses along my stomach, Draco stopped. He turned his head to look at my arm. Lifting himself slightly, he took my arm in one hand and with his other hand, traced along the long scar that Samael had left there. Pressing his lips to the underside of my arm, Draco left soft kisses along the length of the scar. I watched him, my heart drastically pattering away.
Each inch of my body received the same tender love and care. He refused to miss a spot as if each kiss placed along my body injected more of his love inside me. He kissed down my stomach and I was breathing laboriously.
When he got between my legs, he took his time to trace a finger along the scar on my thigh. His thumb brushed down the length of the wound, his touch ever so gentle as if handling something terribly fragile. His eyes followed the movement of his finger running along the skin darkened by the scar-as though he were marvelled by a piece of art.
I think I had to blink away actual tears.
This boy is an angel walking earth who I have somehow gotten the privilege to love.
Pressing his lips to the outer side of my thigh where the scar laid, Draco kissed along it slowly before bringing his body back up. He looked down at me, heaving heavy breaths as he pushed my hair away from my face.
"God, I could just look at you forever."
He made me feel tipsy.
He pressed his lips on mine in a desperate kiss. He deepened the kiss and I was clinging onto his arms for dear life. He kept kissing me. The pace and fire grew into something far more than just intoxicating. Somewhere between the kisses, our remaining undergarments were slid off.
He pulled back the slightest. "Are you sure-"
"Yes."
His head fell into my shoulder as he nipped at my neck. My arms wrapped around him and his hands tangled in my hair. Too distracted by the absolute pleasure of every sensation, I gasped when he pushed inside me.
He propped his forearms beside my head, encaging me. My legs wrapped around Draco's hips as he moved at a steady pace. Not too fast or too slow. His fingers twisted through my hair and he pressed his forehead down against mine, his eyes remaining trained on mine.
Draco pressed his lips to mine once more. The kiss was eternal. He moved slow and sweet, relishing the movement of every inch of him against my walls. I threw my head back, panting with quiet whimpers falling from my lips.
His lips collided against mine as both the pace and friction continued increasing. Euphoria fogged my brain.
"I love you," he murmured breathlessly, his forehead still on mine. He watched me, his grey eyes never leaving mine. Like he was engraving every reaction into memory.
"Oh-Draco." His thrusts grew faster and deeper. "I love-I love you."
My eyes fluttered closed and every sensation magnified. He kissed me. His hot body pressed against mine, his hands gripping my hair. His sweet scent surrounded me. His heavy breaths fanning my face.
The world had enclosed to a single bubble in time and space that consisted of only Draco and me.
One arm moved so his hand could cup my breast. His thumb circled over my nipple as he continued moving inside me, unrelenting and slowing to feel each inch as he pulled nearly all the way out just to plunge entirely back in.
I gasped when he fully penetrated me. My hips arched up further, pressing into him as deep as he could be.
He kissed me again, his tongue entering my mouth to deepen the kiss while simultaneously reaching a hand between my legs so his fingers rubbed circles around my clit while he continued thrusting into me. Our lips parted when winded moans sounded from me.
My breaths grew smaller as the fire inside my nerves grew wilder.
Draco pulled one leg of mine up to shift the angle and hit an even further, deeper part of me that left me entirely out of breath. My eyes shot open to meet his silvery ones and he stared back down at me, watching as the tension coiled within me. He crushed our bodies together, continuing to hold one of my legs up further as his pace increased.
"Oh God-" I rasped, my head falling back as far into the pillow as it could go. "Draco-oh-oh God. Fuck."
"You're fucking perfect, mon coeur."
Leaning his forehead onto mine, Draco panted and grunted as he moved at an almost merciless speed. His grey eyes bore into mine as he stared down and watched me slowly come apart under him.
"Oh, Dra-oh God-"
The knot rooted deep in the pit of my stomach unraveled and came undone, all at once.
His arm hooked around me as he kept me steady while my body lightly shook under his. Panting and struggling to catch my breath, Draco thrusted in me one final time while I was still wringing out under him.
His head fell onto my shoulder as he came and now I was holding him.
My arms wrapped around him, both out breaths heaving.
Draco took a moment before shifting off me. He kissed my forehead, brushing hair away from my face before pulling the blanket over our bodies. I moved closer into his hold as he wrapped his arms around me and kept me snuggled into his chest.
I craned my neck back to look up at him, trailing a finger along his jawline.
Glistening with a thin coat of sweat, he was glowing in an angelic sort of way-a different way than I had seen on him before. He was more unguarded than ever before.
"I think every inch of you is engraved into my mind."
Draco's lip tugged up as he peered down at me. His arms around me, his fingers traced along the scars on my back. "And all of you in mine."
Smiling, I rested my head on his chest and listened to the steady pattering of his heartbeat. I closed my eyes.
Draco kissed the top of my head before his head leaned on top mine.
"Draco?" I murmured quietly.
"Yeah?" He whispered back.
"You're my favourite thing about everyday."
He was quiet for a long moment but just before I opened my eyes and was going to pull back to look at him, he spoke.
"I fucking love you." He spoke so quietly, in a manner like he was saying it more to himself than me.
I feel asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
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a/n: hi okay i've never written smut before but i tried :-/ i rly dont love this chapter & how it's written, could've done better with it but it was just one big struggle for me....,.,,,.,., idk how to edit it either sorrysorrysoisryrrgdfguhd
anyways, stay tuned. #ilovedrama hehe