ADOLESCENT AMOUR
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I avoided Draco all day.
Why did I have to be trying to stay clean right now? The timing couldn't possibly be worse.
On a loop, images of Draco and Mara flashed through my mind. Pressing on me, further and further, until I felt like I would scream. I didn't want to think about it. I just didn't know how to make it stop.
And really, it wasn't something I had any right to care about. Draco and I were not together. He didn't owe me any sort of loyalty. He could be with or shag whomever he wanted.
But he wouldn't. Not with Mara.
Right?
I trusted Draco. I believed he wouldn't but-she was leaving his room late at night, in his sweatshirt and I didn't want to be oblivious to what was so obviously in front of me. It wasn't the first time I saw her throwing herself all over Draco who didn't stop her.
But it's Mara we're talking about.
She plays games. It's what she's good at. She's made it her life's mission to ruffle feathers and stir up drama, to get under everyone's skin. It was too obvious-as if she carefully planted pieces right where she needed them, so I could only see exactly what she wanted me to see.
My mind was spinning. I could no longer think. My head hurt from how desperately I tried to understand the situation for what it really was.
Either way, I would end up being either oblivious or delusional.
"Hey, you." Enzo smiled as he slid into the seat beside me in Herbology. "How's the sober life treating you?"
I groaned at the question, although liking his forwardness. "I hate it. I don't hate it. But God, I really hate it-but I also can't hate it. Although, it is easier to stay sober without particular memories."
Enzo laughed quietly as he flipped open his books. "I know exactly what you mean."
Having spent the last night crying in Pansy's arms, I felt entirely drained. My limbs felt heavier, my head felt foggy, my eyes were red-rimmed and puffier than I'd like them to be. I rested my head in the palm of my hand as I tiredly focused on Professor Sprout-although admittedly, I wasn't hearing a thing she was saying.
"Hey, wakey wakey." Enzo nudged me softly causing me to jolt upright, blinking my eyes rapidly. I glanced around the classroom to see the students clearing out.
"Oh, God." I groaned as I ran a hand down my face. "I seriously fell asleep?"
Enzo smiled adorably, nodding his head. "You did and you looked so peaceful, I couldn't wake you this time."
I sighed as I gathered my things, Enzo waiting for me before the two of us left the classroom together.
"Here." He held out some pieces of parchment to take.
"What's this?" My eyebrows raised.
Enzo grew sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, you fell asleep so I wrote an extra set of the notes for you."
My heart was swelling as I pouted my bottom lip, finding it hard to contain the amazement I felt. How was he real? "You, Lorenzo, are a walking angel."
Enzo bit back a smile, his face having grown entirely red now. "Shut up."
As I chuckled, my eyes fell upon Draco who stood further down the corridor with Pucey and Montague. His eyes flickered onto me. When he moved, I saw he was coming towards me.
Instinctively, I halted to a stop. "I just remembered-there's a book I needed to grab from Herbology. I will catch up with you later." Shooting Enzo a frantic smile, I spun on my heels and darted the opposite direction from Draco.
"Shall I come wit-" I didn't hear the end of Enzo's sentence as I wove my way through the crowded hallways, disappearing before Draco could get to me.
I didn't even know why I was hiding from him.
As much as I wanted to know why Mara was in his room last night, I also didn't want to know. It was easier to avoid Draco for now.
Well-the actual task of attempting to avoid Draco proved to be harder than anticipated.
I walked out of the Potions classroom with Harry and Ron alongside me, stopping when I saw Draco leaning against the stone wall with his arms crossed over his chest. Waiting.
Harry scowled at the sight of Draco. "I guess I'll see you later, Lys."
"Wait, no. Don't-" I hissed a breath when Harry and Ron scrambled away seconds after seeing Draco. They knew he was headed my way.
With his hands tucked in his pants pocket's, Draco approached me. "What happened last night?"
I glanced around the corridor, looking for an excuse to escape. Shouldn't I be asking him that question? "Oh, I-um."
Draco quirked an eyebrow. "I mean-I was just expecting you would show up."
Then why the hell was Mara making a late night-call to his room? I met his gaze, keeping my expression blank. "I slept in Pansy's room."
Draco nodded slowly. "Oh."
I cleared my throat, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. "I have to see Hermione before next class. I'll see you around." I slipped past him.
"Wait-"
I scrambled away before he could stop me.
There was no use in avoiding him. I didn't know why I was still trying to, knowing I would soon be stuck in class with him.
Thus, it was time for for Arithmancy.
"Mione," I grabbed her arm before we could sit down. I usually sat between Draco and Hermione in this class but to my luck, Draco was not in the room right now. "Can you switch seats with me today?"
Hermione's eyebrows drew together. "Why?" Her nose crinkled. "I much rather not be between you and Malfoy."
I sighed softly, glancing back and fourth between her and door so I could see when Draco walked in. "I just-I'm avoiding him."
"What did he do? I'll kill him."
I shook my head quickly. "No, no-nothing like that. It's just-well it's stupid really. I'll explain later."
Hermione laughed softly as she sat down in my usual seat. "I get it. To be niggling one time, I pretended to stay mad at Ron for two whole days all because he let Fred and George give me an Acid Pop. I wasn't really all that mad about it."
I slid into Hermione's usual seat, sinking further into the chair as I anxiously waited for Draco to come in. I wish I could have just skipped this class.
Hermione looked at me quizzically. "What happened anyways?"
"He-shhh." I quickly turned my attention to the front of the door when Draco waltzed into the classroom.
He stopped, standing in front of our desks, when he noticed Hermione and I had switched seats. His eyes narrowed as he looked between us. "What is this?"
Hermione shrugged nonchalantly. "It's more drafty in that seat. Elysia was a dear and switched with me."
I pressed my lips into a tight line and kept my gaze away from Draco.
"No." Draco spoke firmly.
Hermione raised her eyebrows at Draco. "What do you mean no?"
"I'm not sitting beside you, Mudblood."
Hermione rolled her eyes at the derogatory name Draco called her. We all knew Draco didn't care about blood-status as much as he liked to show. The term no longer phased Hermione. "Then sit on the ground, for all I care." Scoffing, Hermione turned her attention away from Draco and onto her textbook.
I did the same to avoid meeting his eyes.
"Mister Malfoy," Professor Vector's stern voice cut through the room. She was one of the strictest teachers I had even known. "Is there something refraining you from taking a seat so I can begin my lesson?"
Scowling at Hermione, Draco gritted his teeth as he slid into his seat. All throughout class, Draco leaned forward and backwards, trying to glance at me past Hermione's body.
"Lys. Mon coeur. Elysia. Ambrose." His whispering voice sounded behind Hermione's body as he tried to grab my attention.
Hermione snapped her head towards him. "Shut up," she hissed. "Some of us actually want to pay attention."
Draco rolled his eyes but ignored her. He ripped out a piece of parchment, crumbling it into a ball and chucking it at me. It hit my shoulder before landing on the ground.
Slowly, I brought my gaze onto him. "Stop!" I whispered-yelled back. "We'll get detention."
Draco smirked, leaning over the side of his desk. "So long as I'm stuck with you, I won't mind."
My heart fluttered-but then I grew annoyed as the image of Mara wearing his sweatshirt popped back into my mind. I ignored him, turning my attention back to the professor.
As soon as class ended, I pulled Hermione along with me and raced out of the room before Draco could stop me. Granted, what I was doing was probably very immature.
"Merlin-I hope you understand why I will never sit between the two of you lovebirds again." Hermione shuddered as we slowed down and proceeded walking down the corridor at a normal pace. Pansy spotted us and fell into step beside me. "What was all that about anyways?"
I sighed. "I saw Mara leaving his room last night."
Hermione's eyebrows furrowed. "What? Why would she be in his room?"
I shrugged wearily. "Well-apparently Draco was in the shower and from the looks of it, she was fresh out of the shower, her hair wet and all. Not to mention, she was in his hoodie."
Pansy's mouth hung open in shock. "That bitch! Oh, Merlin. That's why you were crying last night?"
"It's stupid."
Hermione frowned. "I will kill him, Lys."
"And I will help." Pansy exclaimed, her eyes wide in shock.
"No, no!" I quickly shook my head. "I'm jumping to all sorts of conclusions when I don't know even half the story. Mara's-she's vindictive and cunning. I very well may just be falling into one of her precisely set up traps."
Hermione paused, considering. "You're right-so, why not just talk to Malfoy and clear the air?"
My nose crinkled. "Because I'm being immature and avoiding him." Duh.
Pansy snickered quietly. "Unconfessed love is so amusing to watch."
I rolled my eyes as I stopped walking. "Lucky for me, I have class with both Draco and Mara next. I'm out of ways to avoid him now."
Pansy squeezed my shoulder comfortingly. "May God give you strength."
I swatted her hand away, scowling. "Sod off."
Pansy and Hermione laughed at my dismay before the two of them head on their way, while I went the opposite towards the Charms classroom. Draco wasn't yet in the room when I stepped inside. I glanced around to consider who else I could sit with instead of him-seeing as I was choosing to continue being immature. Unfortunately for me, there was nobody else in this class I was particularly close enough with to sit with.
Sighing, I slid into my seat. My leg bounced with anxiety, knowing soon I would have no choice but to talk to Draco.
I didn't know why I was so reluctant to just get it over with.
I could feel his darkened eyes boring into me as he walked into the classroom, making his way towards me. His gaze didn't shift off of me as he got into his seat. I, on the other hand, kept my gaze on the parchment in front of me, busying myself with writing notes.
I held my breath when Draco leaned close to me, his mouth next to my ear. I could feel his warm breath fanning the side of my neck. It took considerable effort to not physically shiver. "Why the fuck are you avoiding me, Elysia?" His voice was low and quiet, in a growl that made my stomach swirl.
I swallowed, keeping my eyes trained on the parchment. "I'm not."
"I don't believe you." He deliberately spoke slowly.
My heart raced rapidly. I thought it would burst right out of my chest.
"Oh, Draco." The drawling, sultry voice belonging to Mara pulled Draco back. She approached his desk, resting a hand down on the surface. "You wouldn't happen to have an extra quill I can borrow, do you?"
Draco leaned back in his chair, his eyes flashing as they bore into Mara's now. His jaw clenched. "No."
Mara pouted her bottom lip. "Oh, darling. Must you flash hot and cold so often?"
Draco didn't say anything in response. He just continued staring at her with his eyes gone cold. I glanced between the two of them, trying to understand the dynamic.
Why the fuck was she in his room last night? Why the fuck was she wearing his sweatshirt?
Hate sex seemed very likely. There's obviously a lot of... tension.
The thought made me want to squirm.
Mara sighed heavily before her eyes flickered onto me. She smiled sweetly. "Ambrose. Lovely to see you as always."
I nodded my head dully, averting my attention elsewhere.
"Whatever. What's bores you two are." Rolling her eyes, she walked away to take her seat-that luckily, was on the other end of the room.
Draco's eyes followed her movements as she crossed the room. He was looking at her and I couldn't help looking at him. My heart ached.
Sighing quietly with my chest having grown tight, I looked back down to the parchment sitting on my desk. Draco didn't say anything for a long time after that. Class started, Flitwick continued speaking and Draco remained silent, his jaw clenched as he blankly stared at the front of the room.
Maybe he's daydreaming, imagining pushing her up against the wall and-
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
I gripped onto my quill so tightly it could have broken. I desperately tried to shove those thoughts away but it was difficult to do. Glancing across the room, Mara leaned back in her chair with her eyes trained on Draco, a smirk dancing on her lips.
Stop fucking looking at him, bitch.
I was raging with jealousy and I hated myself for it.
And then I would glance at Draco and see how utterly dazed he seemed to be. If Mara had that sort of affect on him, it wasn't hard to imagine the passion-fuelled intense secret relationship they might actually be in.
My stomach churned. I didn't know if I wanted to vomit, cry, or bash Mara's head into a wall. Maybe all of the above.
"Elysia." Draco's soft voice broke me out of my thoughts but I didn't look at him.
Draco exhaled sharply, growing annoyed when I ignored him.
"Ambrose, look at me."
I continued scribbling notes. "Shut up."
Then, Draco's hand clasped around my wrist as he yanked me up and started dragging me out of the room. "Elysia needs to go to the nurse, she's not feeling well." With a dismissive excuse thrown over his shoulder to professor Flitwick, Draco pulled me out of the room.
"What the fuck!" I gawked at Draco, trying to grind my feet into the floor but his strength was persistent. "Let me go, Malfoy!"
In the empty corridor, Draco shoved me up against the wall. He was heaving as he trapped me between the wall and his body, his chest pressed against mine. "Do not tell me to shut up."
I tried to wiggle out from his grasp but he didn't budge. "Fuck off!"
Draco's eyes grew dark and terrifying, his jaw clenching. "You're testing my patience, Elysia."
I glared up at him, trying to shove him away but he held onto my wrists. "I said-fuck off." Hissing the words out, I was enraged as I continued fighting against him.
Bottled rage-that I'm sure wasn't entirely directed at Draco, was being taken out on him.
His grip tightened, his entire body keeping me pinned against the wall. Holding both my wrists in one hand, he gripped my chin in his other hand and forced me to stop squirming and look at him. "I will ask you again-why the fuck are you avoiding me?" His low growl didn't help my already racing heart.
"Because-fuck you." I spoke through gritted teeth, matching his hard stare with my own.
I'm aware how childish I'm being. I'm just-so bloody frustrated. By so many things.
I'm tired.
Draco's eyes flashed dangerously. "Do not speak to me like that, Elysia."
"Or what?" I scoffed and stopped trying to fight my way out of his hold. "Does this work with Mara? Is this how you get her to shut up and get to work?"
Draco's eyebrows pulled together, his hold on me loosening. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Taking the opportunity, I pulled my wrists away from him and shoved him back. "As if you don't know."
I rolled my eyes as I shoved past him and tried to walk away but Draco grabbed my arm before I could. "Stop fucking walking away from me!"
"Don't tell me what to fuck to do!" I ripped my arm out of his grasp, both of us heaving as we stared one other down.
"Why are you avoiding me?" Draco took a step towards me, speaking slowly with a stern voice.
I felt the rage and irritation bubbling inside me. "Merlin-has it ever occurred to you that maybe my world doesn't fucking revolve around you, Malfoy!"
Fuck.
Draco's face fell. He took a step back.
I winced. "Fuck." When I moved towards him, he took another step away from me. "I didn't mean it-"
Draco shook his head firmly. "No, I get it. I understand perfectly. I got my answer."
"Draco-"
Draco grimaced as he turned around and started walking away from me.
My heart throbbed.
"Draco, please stop. I didn't-"
He had already disappeared around the corner before I could stop him.
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a/n: stay calm hehe next chap is skjdhfdshjfhskdfhskjhfdshdfj <3 <3 <3 :'-)