Melody called a few days later and noticed I didn't sound very chipper and happy like I normally do.
"Sunny, you sound down. What is wrong?"
"Nothing, really. I just miss him so much. He has been gone three weeks and I can't stand it. This is the first time we have been apart since I moved here."
"Oh, you poor thing! You two are inseparable. I guess this would really be torture."
"Yeah, pretty much! I forgot how hard it was to be separated. After those 2 short weeks together, I had to go home to Atlanta and that was awful. At the time though, I didn't know we would be together again. At least I don't have that to worry about now."
"Are you busy tonight? Why don't we go for those burgers in... where was it? Itaewon?" I was surprised she remembered the name.
"Yes, Itaewon. I don't have any plans later, aside from watching fancams and eating ice cream." I sighed.
"OK then. It is a date! Should I come by the gallery or the apartment?"
"Come by the apartment. I am finished here at the gallery and about to head home."
"Great! I was hoping to see you again before I head back home in a few days. So, I'll see you in an hour?"
"Sure, an hour is good."
I sighed again when I hung up. Melody was beginning to grow on me, but I wasn't sure that I had the energy for her tonight. I had been feeling run-down since Min left. I wasn't sleeping well without him, and it was catching up with me. Things were getting busy at work too. We were ramping up for another exhibition and there was a lot going on. Emma was a rockstar though. Having her there made my job a breeze. I basically just did the face-to-face meetings with new artists and management companies, and I did the negotiations. I had become very dependent on her.
When I got home, I just wanted to hang out in my garden and pout. But since Melody was on her way, I had to keep it together and be a big girl. I changed out of my work clothes and into my favorite comfy jeans, t-shirt, and oversized shirt. I texted Minhyuk that we were going on a girl date and he sent me a selca of himself at sound check. He was a little sweaty, bare-faced, and sexy as hell. I sent him one back from the bathroom mirror, blowing him a kiss.
Melody showed up in an hour, just like she said. The girl was prompt, I had to give her that. She was wearing jeans and a gorgeous sheer floral blouse with a camisole underneath... and flats! She was much shorter than I realized, but then I had only seen her in 4-inch heels. She was close to my height, and I am pretty average, if not a little below.
She hugged me like she hadn't seen me in months. "Let's get your mind off missing your man. Come on..." she smiled and held out her hand. I grabbed my purse and slipped on my sneakers. Her driver was waiting for us downstairs. In the car, she started chattering about the movie, Hyun Bin, and all the things that were going on in Hollywood. I really didn't care about those things, but I found myself interested anyway. The power of Melody strikes again.
We enjoyed delicious burgers and then walked around exploring the shops. She wasn't familiar with K-beauty, so I gave her an introductory crash course. She ended up buying all kinds of things to try. We wandered into a store that sold music and official merchandise and she bought several Monsta X CDs. EXO was playing over the speakers and she liked it, so she bought a couple of theirs too. Tori would be proud. I suggested a couple of other groups that I thought she might like, and she added those to her new collection.
The sun was setting, and I offered to take her to see some local nightlife, but she said she would rather hang out at the apartment. That was fine with me because I really just wanted to go home. I was enjoying her company, but my heart just wasn't in the whole nightlife scene.
We picked up a couple of bottles of soju on the way back to the apartment. She and Hyun Bin had a drinking scene in the movie, but it was just water instead of Soju. She wanted to try the real thing. I was off the next day, so I wouldn't have to worry about working with a hangover.
We got back to the apartment and I led her out to the garden. She had not been out there yet, and it blew her mind. I told her how Minhyuk had decorated it for our wedding night and how romantic it was... I left out the juicy parts, but I think she filled in the blanks without needing to hear it. The weather was perfect. It was warm and there was a lovely breeze blowing. The scent of Jasmine wafted in the air. The moon was bright in the sky and I missed him so badly. It would have been a perfect night to make love under the stars again.
I pulled myself back to the present and rejoined the conversation already in progress. Melody was very talkative tonight. That was a good thing because it meant I didn't have to talk much. I did feel myself becoming more relaxed after the Soju began kicking in and it was less one-sided. She told me about her childhood and how her mother was the one who pushed her into acting and singing. She tried dancing too, but just wasn't coordinated enough. Gradually the conversation turned to her struggles with the tabloids and her costars. She got visibly irritated when she told me about it.
"I am sure you have heard the gossip side of everything. Who hasn't. But no one has ever heard my side." She downed another shot and looked at me, "Sunny, what you heard is not what really happened." Without realizing it, I leaned in to hear her story.
"First of all, yes, I did date Mick, but I didn't break up his marriage or cause him to lose his shit. It was my first leading role, and I was starstruck. He said all the right things, treated me like a queen off the set, and told me he loved me. He said he was separated from his wife, but they still lived together. The house was big enough that they could both live there and never see each other. He told me there were legal issues that they needed to deal with before making it public and filing for divorce. He was already drinking... a lot.
"Me being the naïve starlet that I was, bought his story hook, line, and sinker. I fell hard and fast. We kept our relationship a secret for a while, until one of the extras caught us in a... let's say... compromising position. There was no point in denying it, so we didn't. It turned out that he was not separated, and his wife was 5 months pregnant. We had been dating for 6 months." I cringed when she told me that part. I was seeing a whole new side of things and I felt bad for her.
She continued, "my publicist advised me to go with the homewrecker image. She said it would be good for my career, like a gangster making his first hit or something. Again, I was naïve and trusting." She paused and raised her finger in the air, "sidenote, I have since gotten a new publicist. Mick's marriage fell apart because she found out that he had been sleeping with several other actresses, not just me. The man could not keep it in his pants." She laughed bitterly at the memory. I filled our shot glasses again and we downed them. We were on our second bottle of soju and feeling very relaxed.
"But what about the second one?" I asked, now completely invested in her story.
"Hmm, yeah... Martin. He actually was separated and ready to file for divorce. He surprised his wife with divorce papers on their anniversary. It didn't go over too well, as you can imagine. I got blamed for it again. I was still with the same publicist at the time. I tried to fight it that time, but she got my company involved and they basically forced me to cooperate. To this day I do not understand why it all happened that way. It was almost like someone was trying to hold me back. Anyway, this part was kept confidential, but I threatened legal action because of it. I fired her and my attorney got me out of the contract. I signed with a new agency and things have been much better, but the damage was done and trying to change the official story at that stage would have done more damage.
"So now everyone thinks I am some homewrecking bitch and I can't prove I am not. My bluntness doesn't help. I am just trying to do my best going forward and hope that I can move past all that and rebuild my image along the way."
I suddenly saw her in a new light. If what she was telling me was true, then she was the victim and not the villain. Being forced to go along with your agency and not being able to speak up was something that I was very familiar with now. The guys had been in that situation multiple times over the years.
We talked a lot about the future and what each of us hoped for. When I mentioned that Minhyuk and I were getting ready to adopt soon, she looked at me with a questioning look and said, "Sunny, can I ask something? If it is too personal, then please just tell me to shut up..."
"Sure, go ahead." I was really feeling the effects from the soju, so it was a good time to ask me anything.
"You told me you were married before, but you never mentioned children... And you just said that you and Minhyuk are going to adopt..." she paused. I knew where she was going, so I just answered. It wasn't something that I was hiding, I just didn't want to share it with the world.
"I was pregnant once. Many years ago, when I was married to Jackass." I poured us each another shot. I continued, "I was only a few weeks along and miscarried. It never passed on its own, and I developed a severe infection which scarred my uterus. I had a D&C and major complications afterward. A few years later I had to have an ablation because of excessive bleeding during my cycle to the point I became anemic. My doctor almost did a hysterectomy, but because I was young, she wanted to wait.
"My doctor told me that the chances of me ever getting pregnant were almost non-existent," tears began forming in my eyes. "And now with my age, I would be too high risk to even try. I want more than anything to have a family with Minhyuk. Our kids will just have to be made elsewhere." I smiled to lighten the mood. "Like Minhyuk said, family does not have to be blood." Melody had tears falling down her face and that made me want to cry. She leaned over and hugged me.
"Oh Sunny, I had no idea. I am sorry I made you relive that."
"It is okay... really. It is painful to talk about, but I have learned to accept it and move on with my life." I reached over and pulled tissues from a box on the end table, handing one to her and keeping one for myself. "I am where I am meant to be. Somewhere there are little ones who need us. We will be a family."
We talked for a while longer and ended up finishing the second bottle of soju. Minhyuk Face Timed me for our morning/evening call, morning for him and evening for me. Melody excused herself to the restroom while we talked for a few minutes. He saw that I had been crying and asked what was wrong. I told him about our conversation, and he got sad.
"Sunny-ah, I really am excited about adopting with you. There is nothing inadequate about you. You are 110% woman... my woman. You are strong, sexy, smart, funny, caring, and you will be an amazing mother to the babies we are going to bring into our lives. We are going to make our family together... in just a few weeks." He was referring to a conversation we had months back when I told him the same story. At that time, I had expressed how I felt I was lacking because I could not give him babies. It bothered him that I would feel that way and he reassured me once again.
"I know, Minmin. It was just a painful topic and I have had too much soju, so I got emotional. I am okay." I smiled reassuringly at him. "I love you so much and I am thrilled that we are about to start our family."
"I love you more than I can ever say, Jagiya. I hope you know that. And you are perfect for me. You make me smile every day."
"I do know it. I feel it every time you look at me or touch me." I saw Melody through the glass door. She was a little wobbly on her feet, but I probably would have been too if I had stood up. "Here comes my guest. I should go now. I hope you have an incredible day. I will be dreaming of you." We said our goodbyes and I hung up the call.
Melody fell into her seat with a giggle. She poured 2 more shots for us. We were on our 3rd bottle. "How do you guys do it?" she asked.
"Do what?"
"How do you deal with the age difference?"
"Honestly, I don't really think about it. Minhyuk may be hyper and full of sunshine, but he is actually very mature. He doesn't let it become a thing, and neither do I. I think the cultural differences outweigh the age difference. Even if we were the same age, he would not really know the things that I grew up with, or me with his."
"That makes sense. How are you adjusting to living here?"
"I have worked for a Korean and directly with the Korean community in Atlanta for 10 years. So, I was kinda prepared. The biggest adjustment was learning the city and basically only speaking Korean. Sometimes Minhyuk and I speak English, so that helps. He likes to practice so that he can communicate better with his fans. It really hasn't been too bad, except for missing my friends. My best friend and her kids are my family. I miss them a lot."
We talked for q while longer and then called her driver. He came and met her at the door, which was good because we were both pretty drunk by that time. She needed the assistance getting out of the building. Thankfully, he was parked in the parking garage, so there would be little chance for her to be spotted.
I barely managed to wash up, because just as I finished I found myself heaving up the Soju. After I got all that out of my system and quickly brushed my teeth again, I fell into bed. Somehow I slept through the night and awoke to the sound of my phone ringing. The light from outside was blinding and the sound of the ring made my head pound like I was at a rock concert. I fumbled for my phone, trying to keep my eyes closed against the light. I knew by the ringtone that it was Minhyuk. Normally I am already up and having my coffee when he calls for the evening/morning call. Not today.
Naturally, it was a FaceTime call. I tried to hide, and he just laughed at me. "So how was your girl date? It looks like you two had a good time."
"Mmm, yeah... a fun time. It was definitely much more fun than this!" He laughed again.
"This is why you don't drink much, remember?"
"Oh yes, I remember... but last night is when I needed to remember that. At least I finally got some sleep... or maybe I was passed out. I am not sure. I don't want to do this again. I think I am, done with Soju... with alcohol period," I proclaimed. He laughed, once again knowing how I regretted my choices of the prior evening.
"Go down to the dorm and look in the medicine kit. You will find some things to help."
"I will do that... as soon as I can move." I tried raising my head but dropped it right back down onto the pillow. I held my forehead and groaned.
"I would make you feel better if I were there. I would bring you coffee and hangover soup. Then I would rub your head and shoulders and make you feel relaxed."
"That sounds amazing. I miss your hands. They are so strong and make me feel so safe. I miss you so much."
"I know, Jagi. I miss you too. It won't be much longer." We talked a bit longer and then I finally managed to get myself out of bed and to the bathroom. I made myself a hot cup of coffee and then headed to the dorm as Minhyuk had suggested. Just getting my blood flowing helped tremendously. A hot shower worked wonders as well, but the little cans of magic hangover drinks I found made a bigger difference.
I wandered over to his old room. His bed and the furniture was still there, but all his stuff was gone. I laid down on the bed and inhaled the faint scent of him that lingered. I thought about the times we had spent in this bed and smiled. We had come so far since then.
Suddenly, another thought dawned on me. The company provided this living space. The other six members would have to move out very soon. I know they want to stay close, but I wasn't sure what that would mean for us. I was sure they had already discussed it and had a plan, but I just didn't know what it was yet.
This was definitely something I needed to ask him about. If we had to move, then we had to move. Home is where he is. It doesn't matter where that is. Being alone had never bothered me before. I actually used to welcome it and enjoyed the 'freedom' as I called it. I didn't even feel this with Jackass. It is okay to be vulnerable, to need another person. We aren't meant to be alone in this world. It is okay to feel complete when you find your soulmate. I had finally found mine and I couldn't wait for him to come home.