ADMISSION
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I stood in the astronomy tower, looking out at the twinkling stars in the dark sky. It was cold but it didn't bother me.
I was decked out in a stunning dress and heels after Pansy spent hours doing my hair and makeup and here I was-alone and in the cold, hanging out by myself on the astronomy tower.
I couldn't wait for this night to end.
I couldn't wait to go back home for the holidays and see my parents.
"The party is downstairs, not up here."
I closed my eyes, not turning around. I think I may very well just explode.
"Please just-go away, Draco."
I was exhausted and beginning to get frost-bitten, my feet were hurting, and I felt pathetic and lonely. I really, really could not deal with Draco and his mockery right now. I was feeling so shitty, I was afraid I might just start crying out of frustration.
Draco ignored me and continued walking over to where I stood. His suit jacket draped over my shoulders as he placed it on me.
I glanced at him, confused by the gesture.
He looked out at the sky, standing beside me. "It would be a shame to return home for the holidays with a cold."
We stood in silence, looking out at the stars for a few moments. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. "The party is downstairs, not up here, Malfoy." I reiterated his own words back to him. "So, why are you up here?"
Draco paused for a long moment before he turned to look at me. His features were soft, his eyes warm. It was-uncanny, to say the least.
Draco held out his palm. "Dance with me, Elysia."
I blinked.
I didn't know if I should laugh or not. Surely he had to be messing with me to make me look like a fool.
I looked at his hand before his eyes again. "Am I really that pathetic-that you feel bad enough to offer me a dance?"
Draco just peered at me-no hint of mischief of taunt in his eyes, no smug smirk on his face. "It would be a shame for one to dress up so-" his eyes roamed down my body. "So exquisitely, just to have this night end without a single dance. Surely, you must have one dance saved in you."
I was bewildered, utterly staggered.
His eyes were sincere but this was Draco Malfoy, the boy who hated me. Here he was, being unusually charming and decent.
He had to be messing with me.
Draco sighed, giving em a tired look. "I can see the gears in your head spinning, Ambrose. I'm not asking to duel you, I am asking for a dance."
I gaped and sputtered. "But-there's-there's not even any music."
A grin tugged on Draco's face. "We don't need music, Elysia. The music plays for us, not the other way around."
Hesitant, I placed my hand in his warm one before I could think too hard about it. Before he could move, I spoke again.
"So, help me Merlin, if you're messing with me, Malfoy-"
"Shut up and dance with me, Ambrose."
I held my breath as Draco guided me away from the end of the tower. He stood in front of me, bringing my hand and placing it on his shoulder. He took a step closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
His body was warm and radiating onto me. He smelt like green apples and his expensive cologne. He was standing so close to me, I could feel his pepperminty breath fanning my face.
My body was tense for a moment before I relaxed.
Being like this with Draco-as he held me close to his body, our arms wrapped around each other, it felt abnormally comfortable.
I felt secure and protected from the evil in the world in his hold.
Something I would have never imagined could be true.
It sounded strange because I had always thought Draco was the evil one-but here he was, making me feel oddly shielded from anything hiding in the shadows.
I exhaled tremulously, looking up to meet his soft and warm gaze. "Why are you doing this?"
Draco smiled ever-so slightly, his eyes glinting. "Must I have a reason?"
My eyebrows raised. "Yes, actually."
Draco sighed deeply. "I told you-it would be a shame not to."
We moved together, dancing slowly. Despite there being no music, it didn't feel unusual. Although, I couldn't possibly understand why he was doing this, why he was being so-so decent and tolerable. Nothing about this made sense.
"Don't you have a date waiting for you? Shouldn't you be dancing with her?"
Draco looked at me flatly, shaking his head. "Stop questioning everything, Ambrose. Just-shut up for a moment and-and dance."
I exhaled softly, exasperating, but I licked my lips and shut up.
For a moment, Draco's eyes seemed to go darker.
I rested my head on Draco's shoulders and swayed along with him.
Part of me didn't like this. Part of me was panicking about what the hell was going on and why. Part of me was going into overdrive as I tried to understand what Malfoy's motives must be and if he really is just playing some long game to make me look like a fool.
The other part of me-a part of me I wouldn't have known existed, that part of me didn't want to let go. It astonished me that I could feel that way but there was something comforting and calming-something about Draco holding me that made me feel a sense of security I had never known could be true.
So, I let him hold me close to his body, I kept my head on his shoulder and I did as he said-I shut up and danced with Draco. It was slow and it was earnest.
After what felt like an eternity-long moment, I pulled my head back and looked at Draco.
"Really-what is this, Malfoy? What are you doing?"
Draco peered at me intently, licking his lips. "Must you always question my intentions? Why can't it be as simple as me wanting to dance with you?"
I found myself playing with the short hairs on the nape of Draco's neck. "Because it has never been something as simple as such with you and me." My voice came out quiet, in not much above a whisper.
Draco cocked his head to the side. His eyes looked thoughtful. "It could be."
I blinked.
"Whatever does that mean?"
Draco pursed his lips, looking past my shoulder elsewhere.
I withdrew, stepping away from Draco and letting my hands fall back to my sides.
I shook my head, continuing to step back. "What is this? What are you trying to do?"
Draco shook his head precariously. "I'm not doing an-"
"Stop." My hands trembled lightly. I was flustered, bewildered, so confused that it pained me.
Draco took a step towards me but I backed away, so he stopped.
"I don't-I don't know what game you're playing." I exasperated. "Did you follow me up here to-to mock me? To make me feel pathetic? Do you feel bad for me? What is this, Malfoy? Are you just messing with me?"
Draco was never decent, not with me. He had not an ounce of compassion or kindness in his body-he hated me, he always had.
We were no more than adversaries.
He mocked and ridiculed everything I did, he never missed an opportunity to taunt me or mess with my head, make me look like a fool.
Following me up here, being kind and amiable, dancing with me-none if it made sense. None of it was normal.
And for the first time, I had no idea what Malfoy was trying to do-whether it was simple mockery, if he were messing with my head, or simply humouring me with mock kindness in order to make me look and feel like a fool.
Draco clenched his jaw. "You're far more oblivious than I could have imagined, Ambrose."
My eyebrows pulled together. "What-" I exasperated, riled to the bone. I laughed dryly, shaking my head. There was no point trying to unfold whatever game he was now playing.
I turned to leave. "Whatever, Malfoy. You should at the least have enough decency to return to your date."
In quick movements with fast stride, Draco had caught up to me. He gently took hold of my arm, turning me to face him.
"Would you stop being so fucking stubborn for one moment, Ambrose?" Draco heaved a heavy breath, frustration seeping through his features.
I inhaled sharply. "What do you want from me, Malfoy? Merlin-please just tell me what it is you want."
Draco tugged me closer to his chest. "How do you not already know the answer to that question?"
I blinked.
What?
I shook my head, spewing. "What does that even mean, Malfoy?!"
Draco ran a hand down his face, exhaling sharply. I could see how thoroughly frustrated he was, I just couldn't understand at what.
I exhaled slowly. "I can't-I'm not doing this with you, Malfoy. Just-just go back to your date. Mess with her."
I turned to leave, once again.
"I don't have a date, Ambrose."
I froze.
I didn't turn to look at him.
My mind was swirling with confusion-absolutely nothing was making sense.
Draco Malfoy not having a date? Draco would never show up to the Yule Ball of all places without a date.
My chest was heaving heavily as I turned to face him. "You could have any girl you point your finger at."
Draco's features softened. "But I only wanted to ask one."
My body seemed to run cold.
No.
He couldn't mean-
Draco stepped towards me and closed the space between us. "For someone so smart, you're incredibly slow and oblivious, Ambrose."
My breath hitched in my throat.
He was so close, I could smell his cologne, I could feel his warm breath fanning across my face. My body was entirely rooted in spot.
"You're messing with me, Malfoy." My voice came out in a hushed croak.
Draco Malfoy. The boy who hated me his whole life. Who bullied me, for years and years. Who called me names and insulted me, embedded insecurities within me.
Draco upraised his hand, slowly and gently brushing stray hair away from my eye. His fingertips brushed across my skin-the simple graze making tingles run along my arms.
"Blaise didn't ask you because I didn't allow him to. He was an idiot to even consider he could do such a thing."
I was-utterly confounded.
Draco made Blaise not ask me?
Why would he do such a thing? It could not simply be his dismay towards my friendship with his fellow Slytherins.
"Do you just-what? Enjoy seeing me pathetically alone and miserable?"
Draco laughed gingerly, his eyebrows raising. I could see a hint of amusement lingering behind his eyes. "Merlin-you truly are oblivious. How can you still not see it?"
"See-see what?" I exasperated.
Draco ran his fingertips across my jaw, his touch the most gentle. His eyes skimmed every feature on my face, slowly and thoughtfully, as he engraved each detail to memory.
"You are who I wanted to ask to the ball, Elysia, but-fuck, you make it all so challenging."
What?
I felt as though I was about to fall. My legs no longer seemed strong enough to hold me up.
"This has to be a joke."
Come on. He hates me. He's always made that clear. He's never failed to remind me just how much dismay I bring into his life.
Draco inhaled deeply through his nose, cupping one side of my face. He caressed his thumb across my cheek.
My stomach was swirling, my heart was racing, my mind was growing foggy.
"Frankly, I was scared I had been making myself too obvious all these years. I supposed I had been to everyone-but you."
Obvious?
What?
Draco Malfoy did not want to ask me to the ball. He could have-he very well could have if he really wanted to. He had perfect opportunity when I had told him I was attending the ball alone.
He was messing with my head. I had not a clue what game he was playing.
I shook my head. "No-no, you would have asked me if you wanted to. You're-you're-"
Draco continued brushing his thumb across my cheek. "How could I have asked you?" He laughed airily. "I wanted to-I was going to."
"No, you weren't."
Draco looked me in the eyes, his own filled with sincerity and warmth. "I was-and the time I was planning to, you wouldn't stop going on and on about how capable you are of bringing yourself. How could one change your plans to be your strong and independent self?"
My lungs felt like they were constricting-it was becoming adamantly hard to breathe.
"I've been entirely infatuated by you since the day I met you." Draco ran his thumb across my bottom lip.
The world around me seemed to fade away. It was only me and Draco here.
My head was shaking on its own. My words were croaking out, barely audible. "That's not true."
"It is very true," Draco spoke softly. "Nobody had ever spoken to me like that before, nobody would dare to do so. Nobody ever fired back shots at me the same way I would, the way you do. Nobody ever-" he trailed off. He exhaled tremulously. "Nobody has ever quite intrigued me the way you do, Elyisa. Nobody makes me feel the way you make me feel."
I blinked. I felt like my knees would buck. This has to be a fucking prank.
Draco tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't know how it's been so many years and you've failed to see it. It was right in front of you, Ambrose. Pansy never lets me hear the end of it."
Pansy knows?
Draco feels this way-for real, and Pansy knows?
I exhaled a weak and trembling breath.
I couldn't think.
I could hardly breathe.
Draco closed the remaining inch between us, our chests now pressed together.
He cupped one side of my face, tilting my head slightly.
"I'm going to kiss you now," he spoke in a delicate whisper, his eyes fixated on mine. "I would like to clarify that I am neither mocking you, nor am I messing with you."
"I-"
Draco leaned his head down and gently placed his lips on mine.
I froze for a moment before I found myself kissing him back.
He kissed me once, slowly and delicately.
My breath shuddered against his lips as our lips detached.
He was still cupping my face with both his hands, his forehead pressed against mine.
In a moment, his lips were on mine again.
My entire body melted against him. It felt as though the ground under my feet had vanished. My heart felt so full or swollen-I couldn't tell which, it was physically paining me.
He kissed me once again, with such gentleness as if I were something fragile. Time felt like it had stopped. We stood in our own bubble where everything else in the world ceased to exist.
My eyes remained closed when Draco pulled away. My shallow breath was trembling.
"Draco." His name came out in an exhale. I opened my eyes, finally looking at him.
Draco smiled faintly. "Elysia."
I felt like my throat was closing, like something was lodging in my gut.
"I-"
I took a step away from him.
"I can't-I need to-" I shook my head frantically.
Draco's eyebrows pulled together. He reached for me but I backed away.
"I need to go."
"Elysia-"
I turned and ran down the stairs, getting away from the astronomy tower and him as fast as I could. I couldn't breathe, I could hardly see where I was going.
He said he hadn't been messing with my head.
But my head was nothing but.
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a/n: I promise this slow-burn has not even begun yet...... ;)