I was upside down in the seat, waiting for Sam and Dean, they were in a comic shop, they came out with a bunch of books.
I said" What're those?" Dean was about to put them back with me, Sam stopped him, then stared at him.
Dean said" Yeah, he can read now, can't he?" Sam hummed, Sam took the books from him and put them between his feet.
" Uh... what?"
" Nothing, bud. Uh, here." He handed me a comic,
" Ooh, Captain America!" I grabbed it from him and grabbed my bag, I looked at the pages," Bucky!"
We were in a motel room, Dean was looking at the books they bought, which they bribed me to stay out of it.
Dean said" This is freakin' insane. How's this guy know all this stuff?"
Sam said" You got me."
" Everything is in here- I mean everything. From the racist truck to-to me having sex. I'm full-frontal in here, dude. How come we haven't heard of them before?"
" They're pretty obscure. I mean, almost zero circulation." Dean sat next to Sam, I was on Sam's bed," Uh, started in '05. The publisher put out a couple dozen before going bankrupt. And, uh, the last one- No Rest For The Wicked- ends with you going to hell."
" I reiterate- freakin' insane. Check it out. There's actually fans. Not many, but still, did you read this?"
" Yeah. Although for fans, they sure do complain a lot. Listen to this- Simpatico says The demon story line is trite, clichéd, and overall craptastic. Yeah, well, screw you, Simpatico. We lived it."
" Yeah. Well, keep on reading. It gets better."
" There are Sam Girls and Dean Girls and- What's a slash fan?"
" As in... Sam/Dean. Together."
" Like, together together?"
" Yeah." I tilted my head,
" They do know we're brothers, right?"
" Doesn't seem to matter."
" Oh, come on. That... that's just sick. We got to find this Carver Edlund."
" Yeah, that might not be so easy."
" Why not?"
" No tax records, no known address. Looks like Carver Edlund is a pen name."
" Somebody's got to know who he is."
I said" What's slash-"
Sam and Dean said" Adult things." I tilted my head,
Dean said" I'll pay you, name your price, kiddo?"
I screamed" Fruit by the foot!" They chuckled," The tattoo ones though!"
Sam said" Tattoo fruit by the foot, it is." I smiled,
Dean said" He drives such a hard bargain. I think he's actually using that head of his for once."
I said" I'm smarter than you, big head."
" Big head?" I gulped, I smiled," I thought we agreed on gigantor over here being big head."
Sam said" Thanks, Dean." Dean raised his eyebrow at me,
I said" Fine, you can be dummy." Dean walked over to me, I smiled, then tried to run away but he caught me and slammed me down onto the bed. I laughed, as he started tickling me, I instantly started squirming around. I laughed," Noo! Noo! Deeannn! Ahahhahahahaha! Sammy, help! Nooo! Deeee! Ahahahaha!" He kept tickling me, then he pinned me down, I yelped," No! Stop! Stop! Dean!" I gasped for air,
" Dean, stop!" Dean stopped, letting go of me, I breathed heavily, I pulled my knees to my chest.
Dean said" River, buddy, you okay?" He grabbed my face, making me look at him, I nodded." River?"
I mumbled" No pinning... No, no, pinning."
" Okay, no more pinning. Can I ask why?" I looked at him with scared eyes," One of your memories, huh?" I nodded," Okay, no more pinning. You just gotta tell me these things, okay?" I nodded again, then stretched my arms out, he pulled me up, I wrapped my arms around his neck." How about you try and get some normal... ish sleep, huh?" I nodded, he sat back down, I laid my head on his shoulder, starting to doze off.
Sam whispered" He's still shaken up."
Dean whispered" Yeah, I know."
———
We pulled up to this house, I went to get out, but Sam and Dean looked at me, I huffed then slumped against the seat.
Soon they came back with the guy, Chuck, I got out, and held Dean's jacket.
Chuck said" Are those real guns?"
Dean said" Yup. And this is real rock salt and these are real fake IDs."
" Well, I got to hand it to you guys. You really are my number one fans. That's awesome. So, I-I think I've got some posters in the house."
" Chuck, stop."
" Please, don't hurt me."
Sam said" How much do you know? Do you know about the angels? Or Lilith breaking the seals?"
" Wait a minute. How do you know about that?"
Dean said" The question is, how do you?"
" 'Cause I wrote it."
Sam said" You kept writing?"
" Yeah, even after the publisher went bankrupt, but those books never came out." He chuckled," Okay, wait a minute. This is some kind of joke, right? Did that- Did Phil put you up to this?"
Dean said" Well, nice to meet you. I'm Dean Winchester, and these are my brothers, Sam and River."
" The last names were never in the books. I never told anybody about that. I never even wrote that down."
Chuck downed a shot of some alcohol, he turned to us,
He said" Oh! Oh, you're still there."
Dean said" Yup."
" You're not a hallucination."
" Nope."
" Well, there's only one explanation. Obviously I'm a god."
Sam said" You're not a god."
" How else do you explain it? I write things and then they come to life. Yeah, no, I'm definitely a god. A cruel, cruel, capricious god. The things I put you through- the physical beatings alone."
Dean said" Yeah, we're still in one piece."
" I killed your father. I burned your mother alive. I killed a four year old. And then you had to go through the whole horrific deal again with Jessica."
Sam said" Chuck."
" All for what? All for the sake of literary symmetry. I toyed with your lives, your emotions, for... entertainment."
Dean said" You didn't toy with us, Chuck, okay? You didn't create us."
" Did you really have to live through the bugs?"
" Yeah."
" What about the ghost ship?"
" Yes, that too."
" I am so sorry. I mean, horror is one thing, but to be forced to live bad writing... If I would have known it was real, I would have done another pass."
" Chuck, you're not a god!"
Sam said" We think you're probably just psychic."
Chuck said" No. If I psychic, you think I'd be writing? Writing is hard."
" It seems that somehow, you're just... focused on our lives."
Dean said" Yeah, like laser-focused. Are you working on anything right now?"
Chuck said" Holy crap."
" What?"
" The, uh, latest book. It's, uh, it's kind of weird."
I said" Weird how?"
" It's very Vonnegut."
Dean said" Slaughterhouse-five, Vonnegut, or Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut?"
Sam said" What?"
" What?" I tilted my head,
Chuck said" It's, uh, Kilgore Trout, Vonnegut. I wrote myself into it. I wrote myself, at my house... confronted by my characters."
We were at the laundromat,
Dean said" I'm sitting in a laundromat, reading about myself sitting in a laundromat, reading about myself- My head hurts."
Sam said" There's got to be something this guy's not telling us."
" Sam tossed his gigantic darks into the machine. He was starting to have doubts about Chuck, about whether he was telling the whole truth."
" Stop it."
" Stop it, Sam said. Guess what you do next?" I giggled," Sam turned his back on Dean. His face, brooding and pensive. I mean, I don't know how he's doing it, but this guy is doing it." Those are Sam's brooding shoulders," I can't see your face, but those are definitely your brooding and pensive shoulders. You just thought I was a dick." Sam looked at Dean,
" The guy's good." I giggled again, Dean looked at me, I smiled and went to the other side of Sam.
———
We were at Chuck's, he wrote another chapter and needed to tell us what he wrote.
Sam said" So... you wrote another chapter?"
Chuck said" This was all so much easier before you were real."
Dean said" We can take it. Just spit it out."
" You especially are not gonna like this."
" I didn't like hell."
" It's Lilith. She's coming for Sam." No! I can't let that happen, I won't let her hurt my brothers.
" Coming to kill him?"
Sam said" When?"
Chuck said" Tonight."
Dean said" She's just gonna show up? Here?"
" Uh... Uh... Lilith patted the bed seductively. Unable to deny his desire, Sam succumbed, and they sank into the throes of fiery demonic passion." Sam laughed,
Sam said" You're kidding me, right?"
Dean said" You think this is funny?"
" You don't? I mean, come on. Fiery demonic passion?"
Chuck said" It's just a first draft."
Dean said" Wait, wait, wait, wait. Lilith is a little girl."
" No, uh, this time she's a- comely dental hygienist from Bloomington, Indiana."
" Great. Perfect. So what happens after the... Fiery demonic whatever?"
" I don't know. That hasn't come to me yet."
Sam said" Dean, look, there's nothing to worry about. Lilith and me? In bed?"
Dean said" How does this whole psychic thing of yours work?"
Chuck said" You mean my process?"
" Yes, your process."
" Well, it usually starts with a headache. A really bad headache. Aspirin is useless, so... I drink. Until I fall asleep. The first time it happened, I thought it was just a crazy dream."
" The first time you dreamt about us?"
" It flowed. It just- it kept flowing. Still does. I-I can't stop it, really."
Sam said" You can't seriously believe-"
Dean said" Humor me. Look, why don't we, we just..." Dean took the papers from Chuck," Take a look at these and see what's what. You..."
Chuck said" Knew you were gonna ask for that. Yeah."
We were driving,
Sam said" Dean, come on. The minivan accident wasn't that bad, but Dean was still seeing stars. He scratched absently at the pink-flower band-aids on his face."
Dean said" So?"
" So, I've seen you gushing blood. You'd use duct tape and bar rags before you'd put on a pink-flower band-aid."
" What's your point?"
" My point this- all of this- i-is totally implausible. It's nuts."
" He's been right about everything so far. You think he's just gonna ground out at first now?" Sam scoffed,
" Dean slid behind the wheel of his beloved impala and drove off, the plastic tarp on the rear window flapping like the wings of a crow."
" A tarp?"
" Yeah. On the rear window. And you drive it like that."
" Well, he might be wrong about the details, but it doesn't mean he's wrong about the end result."
" So we're just gonna run?"
" We are a long way from ready for a face to face death match with Lilith." We pulled up to a barricade, Dean stopped, I looked at my brothers. This isn't good, Lilith is too strong for them, and I can't let her hurt them." What seems to be the problem?"
A deputy said" Bridge is out ahead."
" We're just trying to get out of town."
" Yeah, afraid not."
" Is there a detour?"
" Nope."
" There's not a side road that takes us to the highway?"
" To get to the highway, you have to cross that river. To cross the river, you have to take that bridge."
" How deep's the river?"
" Sorry. Afraid you boys are gonna have to spend the night in town." Well, that goes plan A, now what's Dean gonna do?
We were in a diner,
Dean said" Hey, this could be a good thing. I mean, if this is what puts us on the path to Lilith, then all we gotta do is get off the path."
Sam said" How do you mean?"
" It'a a blueprint of what not to do. I mean, if the pages say that we go left-"
" Then we go right."
" Exactly. We get off-book. We never make it to the end. It's opposite day. It says that we, uh, we get into a fight, so no fighting." I rubbed my eyes," No nap for Riv, No research for you..."
" No bacon cheeseburger for you."
" Yeah, no problem. I'll just order something else." The waitress walked up, no nap... ugh." Hi, uh, what's good?"
The waitress said" Well, if you like burgers- Oprah's girlfriend said we had the best bacon cheeseburgers in the country." Sam laughed,
" Really?"
Sam said" I'll just have the cobb salad, please. He'll have chicken tenders."
" I'll have the... veggie tofu burger." I looked at Dean,
" Thanks." She walked away," This whole thing's ridiculous."
" Lilith is ridiculous?"
" The idea of me hooking up with her is."
" Right. 'Cause something like that could never happen."
" Dean, for the first time, we have warning that Lilith is close."
" So?"
" So, we've got the jump on her. If we know when she's coming, we know where- this is an opportunity."
" Are you-" He's getting angry," It frustrates ms when you say such reckless things."
" Well, it frustrates me when you'd rather hide than fight." They stared at each other, this isn't gonna go good. Then the waitress was back, she put down our plates,
She said" Cobb salad for you. Chicken tenders for you. And the tofu veggie burger for you."
Dean said" Thank you. It's not hiding. It's being smart. It's picking your battles. And this is a battle that we are not ready to fight." I started eating a chicken tender, I've gotta stop Lilith, she can't have my brothers, I won't let her." Oh, my god! This is delicious. Tofu is amazing!"
The waitress said" I am so sorry. I gave you the bacon cheeseburger by mistake." She took the burger and plate, Sam and Dean looked at each other.
We pulled up to a creepy motel, I whined,
Sam said" Dude, this place charges by the hour."
Dean said" Yeah, well, the book says Lilith finds you at the Red Motel. Hence, the, uh, Hooker Inn. It's opposite day, remember?"
We were in a motel room, Dean was putting out hex bags.
Sam said" What are you doing?"
Dean said" Couple of hex bags ought to Lilith-proof the room."
" So, what? I'm supposed to just hole up here all night?"
" That's exactly what you're gonna do, okay? And no research. I don't care what you do- use the magic fingers or watch Casa Erotica on pay per view." Dean grabbed the laptop,
" Oh, dude, come on."
" Just call it insurance."
" What are you gonna do?"
" Well, the pages say that I spend all day riding around in the impala. So I'm gonna go park her. Behave yourself, would you? No homework. Watch some porn." I went to follow Dean, I got out the door when he looked at me." You can't nap, and where's your favorite place to sleep?"
I said" If Lilith doesn't kill you... I am."
" No doubt in that." I dropped my head but walked back into the motel room, I heard Dean drive off. I looked up at Sam, pouting, he crouched down,
He said" Dean booted you, huh?"
I said" You guys are stupid."
" I know, buddy. Can't even nap, you already don't get enough sleep."
" Really, really stupid."
" Yeah, and you're really, really grumpy." I stuck out my tongue at him, he scoffed, then stood up." Let's just wait this out, and I promise, you can sleep all you want. I'll even buy you earplugs."
" Promise?"
" I swear." I nodded, now we just gotta survive Lilith.
Someone knocked on the door, Sam answered it.
Chuck said" You wanted to see me?"
Sam said" Yeah." Chuck came in, Sam closed the door," Thanks for coming."
" Yeah, sure."
" Um... I was just wondering how much you know... about me."
" What do you mean?"
" Have you seen visions of me when I'm not with Dean?"
" Oh. You want to know if I know about the demon blood."
" You didn't tell Dean."
" I didn't even write it into the books. I was afraid it would make you look unsympathetic."
" Unsympathetic?"
" Yeah, come on, Sam. I mean, sucking blood? You got to know that's wrong."
" It scares the hell out of me. I mean, I feel it inside of me. I... I wish to god I could stop."
" But you keep going back."
" What choice have I got? If it helps me kill Lilith and stop the apocalypse-"
" I thought that was Dean's job. That's what the angels say, right?"
" Dean's not... he's not Dean lately. Ever since he got out of hell. He needs help."
" So you got to carry the weight?"
" Well, he's looked after me my whole life. I can't return the favor?"
" Yeah, sure you can. I mean... if that's what this is."
" What else would it be?"
" I don't know. Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger? More in control?"
" No. That's not true."
" I'm sorry, Sam. I know it's a terrible burden- feeling that it all rests on your shoulders."
" Does it? All rest on my shoulders?"
" That seems to be where the story's headed."
" Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight?"
" I don't know. I haven't seen that far yet." I looked at Sam, my head fell a little but I forced it back up.
Sam burned the hex bags, Dean's not gonna be happy. Dean walked in,
He said" Come on. We're getting out of here."
Sam said" What? Where?"
" Anywhere, okay? Out of this motel, out of this town. I don't care if we got to swim, we are getting out. Dude, where are all the hex bags?"
" I burned them."
" You what?"
" Look, if Lilith is coming, which is a big if-"
" No, no, no. It's more than an if. Chuck is not a psychic. He's a prophet."
" What?"
" Cas showed up, and apparently Chuck is writing the gospel of us."
" Okay."
" Okay. Let's get the hell out of here."
" No."
" Lilith is gonna slaughter you."
" Maybe she will, maybe she won't."
" So what? You think you can take her?"
" Only one way to find out, Dean, and I say bring her on."
" Sam..."
" You think I'll do it, don't you? You think I'll go dark side."
" Yes! Okay? Yes. The way you've been acting lately? The things you've been doing? Oh, I know. How you ripped Alastair apart like it was nothing, like you were swatting a fly. Cas told me, okay?"
" What else did he tell you?"
" Nothing I don't already know. That you've been using your psychic crap, and you've been getting stronger. We just don't know why, and we don't know how."
" It's not what you think."
" Then what is it, Sam? 'Cause I'm at a total loss." Dean grabbed his bag," Are you coming or not?"
" No." Dean threw his bag on the chair then walked out.
Dean left, I don't know where he went but he shouldn't have left Sam alone! Someone knocked on the door, Sam grabbed my arm, and opened the door. There was someone behind us. We turned around as he closed the door, and there was Lilith.
She said" Hello, Sam."
Sam said" I've been waiting for you." Her eyes flashed white,
" Where's the knife, Sam?"
" On the nightstand. By the bed." She's gonna notice it, she's too smart to not notice it. She walked to the edge of the rug, I had to protect Sam, he can't take her on! He's practically a breakable stick compared to her. She crouched down and moved the rug, she burned the trap, she stood back up.
" You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that."
" How about this?" He tried to kill her with his powers, but it didn't work. I got angry, the ground started shaking.
" You're strong. But you're not that strong. Not yet."
" So why don't you throw me around then?"
" Because I can't and you know it. You're immune to my charms. Seems we're at a stalemate." She walked closer to him, I stood in front of him,
" Why are you here?"
" To talk."
" Yeah, well, I'm not interested." She circled us,
" Hmm. Even if I'm offering to stand down... from the seals... the apocalypse... all of it?" She'd never do that.
" You expect me to believe that?"
" Honestly? No. You were always the smart one. But it's the truth. You can end it, Sam. Right here, right now. I'll stop breaking seals, Lucifer keeps rotting in his cage. All you have to do is agree to my terms."
" Why would you back down? Why now?"
" Turns out, I don't survive this war. Killed off, right before the good part starts."
" What do you want?"
" For it to go back to the way it was. Before I had angels to deal with 24/7. The good old days, when it was all baby blood all the time."
" And what do you want in return?"
" Your head on a stick. Dean's, too. And little River back in our playground." I whimpered," Call it a consolation prize. So what do you say, Sam? Self-sacrifice is the Winchester way, isn't it?"
" You really think I'm stupid enough to fall for this?"
" I make a deal, I have to follow through. Those are the rules, and you know it. Are you really so arrogant that you would put your life before the lives of 6 billion innocent people? Maybe it's all that demon blood pumping through your pipes. Man after my own heart."
" You think I'm like you? I am nothing like you."
" Then prove it. Going once. Going twice." Sam's not gonna do it.
" Fine." No! No! No! I started breathing heavily,
" Swell. By the way, a contract with me will take more than a kiss. A lot more. Don't worry. The dental hygienist in here? She wants it bad." Sam took a step then couldn't move, he tried to move, but couldn't." River, let big brother go and go play in the bathroom."
I said" No."
Sam said" Riv-"
" Shut up!"
Lilith said" River, we were such great friends! Let the adults talk." I breathed heavily, the lights started flickering,
" No! No! No!" Blood started sliding out of my nose," You're not taking my brothers away from me! I won't let you!"
" And you think you can stop me?" Her eyes turned white," You might have soaked up some powers while fighting down there, but you're only a little child."
" I don't care. No one will take my brothers away from me!" Then intense pain hit me, I whimpered," No, no, no, no, no!" She groaned then I got dizzy, she flicked her hand and I was slung into the wall. But I didn't feel the wall, then I hit the ground, but not hard.
Sam said" River!" Then everything went black.
I woke up,
I heard Dean say" So, what... his body was flung into the wall but he never hit it and he was softly placed on the ground?"
Sam said" I don't know how, I don't know why, but it probably saved his life."
" And he stopped you from moving?"
" Yeah, and if was like Lilith knew him, they knew each other."
" Knew each other?"
" She said she wanted him back in their playground."
" Ugh, don't ever repeat that again."
" Do you think she-"
" Tortured him while he was down there, probably. Alastair knew him too. Kid got around for sure."
" Why didn't he tell us?"
" 'Cause he's River, best thing kid's got for himself is his ability to get under our radars and hide things. I don't know, Sam, but I know I don't like it."
" I don't either." I sat up, Dean pulled over, and they both looked at me.
I said" I'm sorry. For... For not telling you things... I don't wanna remember hell, but it's seared into my brain, I can remember everything. Like... my skin was pretty much yellow and purple for a week, they would beat me... but not cut me or break any bones... so they wouldn't heal it. They used to stick me to chains, with giant fishing hooks through my body, but only where there was thinner skin, so the hooks would eventually slice my skin off." They flinched," Lilith liked getting into my head, making me hear things, bad things, all the time. Then I-I fought back once... and-and she made me hear yous screaming... I-I cried a lot till she stopped, then she put me on the rack again. And-And Alastair-"
Dean said" River, stop!" I shrunk back, closing my mouth," Just stop. You have enough nightmares as it is." I saw their eyes, they were teared up," Just, uh, go to sleep or something." I grabbed Rexxy and curled up, closing my eyes, falling asleep quickly.