Sadhvi's pov:
I woke from my dread ful dream......
I ran into the washroom and spilled water on my face.
I wanted to remove all the traces of that dream from my mind.
But it was running at the back of my mind again and again......
The scene where Siddarth and Ria were leaving me all alone in the middle of the street......it was looking so real that I couldn't distinguish it from the reality.
I was frightened.....I don't want that to ever become the reality......
I couldn't even bear the thought of letting Siddharth go away from me.
Its just being 7 months he came to my life,but he became an integral part of it.
He is so important from me.......may be a lot more than myself also.
If he ever leaves me I don't think I will ever have courage to live without him.
I shouldn't be so weak like this I have to be confident.
I know all of these but again I feel so helpless.
I sat on my bed near the headboard....and folded my knees towards me.
Suddenly I felt something wet on my cheeks........
I tried to rub it and again I was feeling the wetness......
My tears were flowing out uncontrollably.
I buried my head in my knees and crying.......
I know I may be making sounds while crying but now I don't care about anything other than Siddarth right now.
I was crying.......I know it been a long time but my tears doesn't seem to stop anytime soon.
They were like unending. I was chocking on my tears...
Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulders.
I lifted my head only to see Siddarth who was frowning.
I immediately rubbed my tears off in hurry and got up from bed.
I want to go from there.......
He saw me crying so pathetically.
I was about to leave the room but he held my arm.
But I was not ready to turn towards him......as my face was again covered with the tears.
But he pulled me towards him....I crashed to his chest.
But I took a step back maintaining some distance.
I was still facing the floor.....
"Sadhvi" he called out my name.
But I was not responding.......
Honestly I don't know how to respond to him.
"Look at me." He again said.....as I saw the same ..... unresponsive.
He held my chin for which I gasped.....I hesitantly looked at him.
This was my first time someone saw me crying other than Geetha.
I usually never cry Infront of anyone......
I don't know how to face his questions....
What if he accuses me that I am not a good wife?
With this thought my tears again started falling.
He rubbed my tears with the back of his plan and cupped my face asking
"What happened? Did anyone said anything to you?"
I was biting my lips to held back sobbing as much as possible.
"Will you say something?" He asked me again.....
I shook my head saying nothing.
"Then why are you crying?" He said......and I again shook my head.
He sighed and uncupped his hands from my face.....
I panicked.
What if he lefts me?
Just like the dream I had.......
I was anxious as I don't want that to happen.
So I held his arm before even he took a step.
"Siddarth...."I called him out and held his arm tightly.
"I was not leaving.....just trying to grab a tissue." He said.
But my hold on him didn't loosened a bit.
He sighed and made me sit on bed.
And cupped my face sitting beside me.
"Say something baby..... Why are you crying? Did anyone said something to you? Just say alright?" He asked me again.
I was just looking at him.......he was so concerned about me.
And me, who is drowning in my insecurities and blamed him for no reason.
"I had a bad dream Siddharth." I said and came near to him trying to hug him......but as his hands were in-between us I couldn't hug him.
He understood my intention and hugged me.
I kept my head on his chest.......
I can hear his heartbeat.......now I am feeling like home.
Like it is my permanent place.
"You want to talk about it?"he asked......
Actually I don't want to talk about it because I don't want him to think that I am unreasonable.
But after my conversation with Geetha I realised that the main problem in my relation is that I assume things and think that those were right which may be wrong to....and take my desicions on the assumed things which is so wrong too.
She said that Siddarth is my partner.......he is my other half we have to share our thoughts without hesitation.
We need to be vocal about our feelings....which I am not and the problems began there.
"I had a dream that you left me......" I said as my tears were falling.
He freed the hug and held my shoulders.
"Why will I?" He asked frowning and waiting for my answers.
"You...you went with ria.....leaving me.I felt like dying." I said honestly.
His were were formed in a thin line......which means he is angry.
" I won't leave you ....like never ever understood? You are mine." He whisper yelled at me.
I nodded my head and asked
" Then why you ignored me?
I thought it was just the time you were fed up with me,you will leave me."
His hold on me tightened.
"I was angry...... aren't you the one who did this first?
I don't even know the reason......I was clueless and you left me. Leaving me all alone in this house." He said angrily......
My tears threatened to fall.....
"I.....I am sorry Siddarth.
I know I can't justify my doings and I regret it so much.
I am at fault but will you please not leave me?" I asked me in a requesting tone.
He growled
" Why the hell are you saying that thing again and again......
Can't you understand once? I said you are mine....and only mine like I am yours.
We are struck together all over our lives so never try to go away from me understand?" He almost shouted and stood up.
I was startled hearing this tone.......
But I too stood up and held his arm.
" I won't Siddarth......I can't live without you." I said.
"Now can you please enlighten me the reason why you ignored me?" Siddarth asked in a serious tone.
"Umm....I was angry."I said and observed his face if he is again angry....
He was just waiting for me to continue
I hesitantly started saying things....
"I...I was already feeling upset.....that you....umm you were not spending time with me......but I tried to understand that it was because of your work.
I then thought to celebrate our six month anniversary.....I planned ....a dinner date.
I was waiting for you since the evening......you came very late at night.
And after that too you didn't even asked me why I was in a saree neither you noticed my arrangements.......you just went to sleep.
I know you were just tired from your work.....but it was a special day......you not even remembered it.....so I was angry and thought I will not talk with you until you take the initiative.
I know i am immature......but please don't be angry." I said looking at him with expectful eyes......
A sense of realisation flashed through his eyes....
He held my hands and said
" Sorry baby....I was an idiot here.....how can I forget our special day? You had all the right to be angry with me. You...." He was about to say something but I stopped him by placing my lips on his and started kissing him softly.
I don't want him to be sorry and all.
I know we are new to this relationship and are quite immature at this.....
But we have to be together in this journey......
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