I was sitting behind the cash register reading something as Soos passed by me. "Good night dudes!" He told us as we all wished him a good night as well.
"You ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?" Mabel asked as she sat on the counter next to the register.
"Not really no" I told her looking away from the book I was reading. It was one of the countless books about the supernatural.
"No" Dipper replied as well.
"Never" Stan told her.
"What kind of question is that?" I asked her closing the book and putting it on the counter next to her.
"Just like. We don't really know about the real Soos" she told us as everyone srugged.
"Mabel what is there to know. He is a nice fella that works for me on minimum payment." Stan explained.
—————
It was a brand new day and Wendy was no where to be seen so I had to be at the cashier once again. "Hello!" Stan greeted a small child that came in the shop. The kid screamed. "Please, don't let my horrible elderly face frighten you." He revealed an old fake gold figure "Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie?" He told the kid who seemed to hesitate. "Watch this!" Stan put a coin in the machine.
The figure moved it's hand to lift his hat. But when the arm moved down both his eyes fell out with grease coming out of the holes where the eyes used to be. It did look quite frightening so when the child ran outside screaming I wasn't surprised.
"Okay, seriously, Stan. It's time to throw that thing out. Its face reminds everybody of the inevitability of death." I told him as he scoffed.
"What?! Sure, he's a little rusty around the edges, but old Goldie is a classic show-stopper, like me. Huh?" His hand slipped on some of the grease that spilled out. Unfortunately it landed in Goldie's mouth and he started biting him and holding onto Stan's arm. "Aaaah! Kill it! KIIILLL IIIITTT!" He screamed trying to get it off as I just watched not being bothered to help knowing he will find a way.
Just then a woman ran out of the shop screaming. Where she was standing before that I saw Soos with a frown. I walked up to him. "You good? What was that about?" I asked him as he sighed.
"I-I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure." He said as Mabel ran down the stairs and came up to us with an excited look.
"DID SOMEONE SAY FLIRTING?!" She shouted as I looked at her confused. How did she get here so fast?
"Well, I kinda promised my grandma I'd get a date by the end of the week, but I've never actually been on a date before." He sighed and took an out-of-order sign putting it on himself "You belong on me, out-of-order sign."
"Finally, my prayers for a chance to match-make this summer have been answered!" She said.
"Soos, a little advice. You need to get rich. Or lie about being rich. Outside of that, I don't like your chances." Stan called out as I rolled my eyes.
"Don't listen to Stan, dude. You're a nice guy with a steady job and a pickup truck." I told him trying to reassure him.
"Do you think he can get a date that quickly though?" He asked as I sighed.
"Soos, you help us so much, it's time we help you. We're gonna get you that date." I said with a determined look. I couldn't let Stan talk down Soos.
"We're taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die. To the mall!" Mabel said as I laughed.
"Yea The Mall!" I cheered
"Mall?" Dipper asked coming down the stairs walking in on the weird conversation we all were having.
"Dipper we are going to get Soos a date!" I told him as he was a but surprised by my enthusiasm and determination considering I always kept a monotone emotionless persona.
"Okayyy?" He said extending the last part of the word.
—————
Me, the twins and Soos arrived at the Mall. Mabel had already prepared a whole plan while I was just hoping we can get him to talk to some women like a normal person. "Alright, Soos. Are you ready to explode the charm bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?" Mabel told him as he looked around.
"Uuh. But what if I embarrass myself again?" He asked as Mabel chuckled.
"Eh. You can't be any worse at this than Dipper." She said looking at him then at me as I stared at her with a confused look. "Whatever! Just believe in yourself!" She told Soos. "And, flirt!" She blew a whistle as me and Dipper flinched at the sudden noise.
The rest of the day we spent trying to help Soos but it was all in vain. We had no luck whatsoever. Right now we were in front of a game store. Mabel put a coin in a toy capsule machine and got some weird gadget. "Don't worry, Soos. You'll find the right girl. You just need to stick with it!" She stuck the sticky hand she got from the machine on Soos's face "Haha!"
"Could this day get any worse?" He looked around as his wyes spotted someone "Oh no! Cousin Reggie!" He said as he ran inside the store trying to hide.
"I'll go get him you stay here and look for more women I guess" I told the twins as I walked in the game shop. "Soos?" I called out as I walked to the back of the store. "Soos you here?" I asked as I saw him when I turned the corner. "Virtually improve your dating skills" I read off what Soos was holding.
"I-I found this game in here?" He said in a rather questioning tone.
"I guess your are better at videogames" I said grabbing the game from his hands and taking it to the cashier
"I'm not sure you want to buy that game, miss. This is the third time someone's brought it back, and there's a note on it that says destroy at all costs." The cashier said as I looked at Soos who was trying to chat up the cardboard cutout. Key word. Trying.
I sighed looking at the game. It seemed harmless? Did it have a bug of some sort? "Why did they return it?" I questioned as he srugged.
"Never got an answer. But I suggest you don't buy it" he told me as I thought about it. It's just a game, right?
"I'll take my chance" I told him putting 15 bucks on the table.
I walked out with Soos showing the twins the game. "Look what I got" I said as I gave the game to Soos.
"A game?" Dipper asked as I corrected him.
"A dating game. It's a simulator to help him get more confident talking to girls" I explained. "Although. There might be a bug in the game. It has been returned several times" I explained as Soos examined the game once again. Dipper gave me a concerned look. "I'm sure it's fine Dipper! When have I been wrong?" I told him as he sighed.
"Alright. If you say so" he said.
—————
I was sitting in the Shack as Stan was going on about some Robot. "You don't understand, Emma! This animatronic badger sings, it dances. It's the perfect money taking attraction. But he won't sell it to me!" Stan told me as I rolled my eyes.
"Couldn't care less. I don't know what you expect me to say? Just steal it or something you are good at that" I joked as he stared at me for a moment.
"That could work" He mumbled as he walked up the stairs. "If I'm not back in the next 24 hours check the police department!" He called out and I groaned. Why were grownups like this.
"Hey, have you seen Soos? We're supposed to help him with match-making today." Dipper walked in with Mabel following behind him. I srugged getting out of the chair I was sitting on.
"He didn't come in today. It's the first time he's missed work like ever" I told them as the three of us threw concerned looks at eachother.
"Should we?-" Dipper asked as I interrupted him.
"Yea let's go" And so the three of us made our way To Soos's house. His grandma was kind enough to let us in. We made our way towards his room.
"So that's basically my entire life story. Now you tell me a thing about you!" Soos talked to the game. Uh oh.
I looked at the floor which was scattered with empty cans.
"Uh, Soos?" Mabel asked him as he turned around. He had bags under his eyes and It looked like he hadn't slept.
"O-oh hey, dudes! Come in! This game is amazing. I'm making eye contact, going on dates, and I haven't seen any natural sunlight for thirteen hours!" He told us as I sighed walking up to his window and harshly opening the blinds. "Ah!" He hissed at the sudden change in his room.
"Soos it's time you go outside and touch some grass. Come on. You've trained enough on that machine" I told him as he looked between the game and me.
"I'll see you later, GIFfany. I'll be back, I swear!" Soos told the game as Mabel and me laughed.
"Soos, you don't have to wish it goodbye. It's just a game. It's not like it's going anywhere." Mabel told him as we dragged him out of his room.
—————
We were once again at the mall where Mabel was hunting for more females. "Dang! Where all dem sweet honeys at? I'll check the ladies' bathroom." She shouted. Before I could stop her she ran in there. Soon enough the bathroom was empty and all the women were running and screaming.
"And...here comes security." Dipper said as he turned to me and Soos "I'll deal with this. Stay here and help Soos practice on some real girls." Dipper told me as I nodded. And with that he headed in the direction of his sister.
"Any girls around you find particularly attractive?" I asked him as he looked around with a sad expression. Soon he shook his head. "Oh come on. There has to be out there. Everyone has a perfect match" I told him as he chuckled.
"Like you and Dipper!" He said as I almost choked on air.
"W-what?!" I managed to say.
"Uh what?" Soos repeated trying to get himself out of the awkward situation. I spotted a good looking lady next to some kids train attraction and decided to drag Soos there.
"How about we ride that train? Would you like that?" I asked as he nodded and he got out a few quarters from his pockets. He tossed me one and we both had fun.
Soon enough the game finished "Please insert fifty cents to continue." The robotic name of the machine said on Soos's train as he looked at the black screen.
"Aw man" he said as the lady I spotted earlier chuckled.
"Oh, sorry." She walked up to Soos "Dude, that's awesome that you're a grown man riding a little train like that! You're totally like, owning it." She told him as he chuckled slightly.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm like, if it's fun, uh, do it. You know?" He told her as she nodded.
"Exactly! Being an adult is the worst. Skewering meat, remembering to pay bills, I just want to ride tiny trains all day." She told him as he laughed.
"At least you get to work at Meat cube. Extreme lunch meats are the food of the future." Soos told her as she extended her hand for him to shake.
"I feel the same way. I'm Melody by the way." She told him as he gladly shook it.
"Oh, I'm Soos. I tell you, if you like robots for kids, you should check out the best restaurant of all time!" He told her as her eyes lit up.
"You mean..." She started as they both said the name of some obscure pizza place.
"What? You've heard of Hoo Ha Owl's? I loved that place when I was a kid!" She told him as he nodded enthusiastically.
"Oh yeah, dude. There's one right in this mall! I should show you some time." He told her as she nodded.
"I'm free around 8" Melody explained as Soos smiled.
"Boom! Done!" He said as she chuckled giving him a few coins.
"Perfect! I'll see you there!"
"Well if it isn't mister smooth. That game did the job huh?" I told him as he looked at me a bit confused.
"What?" He questioned as my smile grew wider.
"Soos you realize you just got a date right?" I told him as Mabel ran up to us.
"Did you say he got a date!? And i missed it!?" Mabel screamed as I chuckled.
"He was totally in the zone. You should have seen him.
After that Mabel kept on questioning Soos about the girl and I managed to answer most of the questions.
—————
We were in the Mall. Soos was nervously waiting for Melody to arrive as me and the twins were talkin to pass the time.
"You can do this, Soos! Just remember what your love crew taught you. How does she look?" Mabel asked as he replied matching her enthusiasm.
"Nice!"
"What are her stories?"
"Interesting!"
"And who's going to pay for dinner?" She asked.
"SOOS IS!" He screamed as I chuckled.
"You are pretty much ready Soos!" I told him as he nodded as he headed to the pizza place. "We heading in there?" I asked them as they nodded.
"Absolutely!" Mabel replied as we walked in and sat on a table far away to not be noticed by Soos. Mabel even gave us a pizza box to hide behind.
Me and Dipper started talking as Mabel still intensely watched Soos. Surprisingly he ran past us only to be stopped by Mabel.
"Soos, what are you doing out there?" She asked as he seemed to tense up even more.
"I've got a big problem, guys. I'm being stalked by GIFfany!" He told us as we stared at him confused. "Or maybe it's pronouced, Jiffany? I was never really sure." He said as Dipper sighed.
"Soos, get a grip on yourself. GIFfany can't stalk you because she's not real." Dipper told him as I thought about it for a second. The game was returned quite a lot. Uh oh.
Suddenly the anime girl appeared on the screens in the pizza place. "Oh no" I mumbled as we stared in horror at the girl.
"Take it from someone who brought an arcade game to life, this will not end well." Dipper told him as I nodded.
"Don't worry. I'm pretty sure she's stuck on TV screens." Soos said as we could see her move from game to game until she was in the animatronics. This seemed very familiar in some way.
"Oh, boy." Soos ran up to Melody as we followed behind him. "So hey, anyway, you uh, wanna move this date far away into the forest away from all electronics and people?" He told her as she threw him a confused look.
"What? But the floor show's about to start." She said enthusiastically as we looked at the robots
"Hello, friends. Hoo Ha the owl is dead. This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend, Soos." The robot said as the lights turned off.
"Soos, what's going on?" Melody asked him as he grabbed her hand and dragged her away.
"No time to explain! We gotta get out of here!" He tried to head for the door but GIFfany blocked his way.
All of the other customers left as we were pushed to the back of the place. All of us hid behind a table while the big fight was going on.
"Oh no! I'm so sorry, Melody! I'll fix this. It's me she wants. I'll distract her while Dipper Mabel and Emma keep you safe! It's the only way!" Soos managed to say to the woman as he ran put of the cover and towards the robot.
"Soos, these are children." Melody said as I felt a bit offended.
"We have been fighting monsters all summer I think we are more than capable of protecting you" I told her as she sighed.
"On three we split. One, two-" Dipper said but before he got to three one of the other robots destroyed our table. We all screamed splitting up. All of us went to different directions so the animatronics could be confused.
I tried to hold of a bunny looking robot with a chair but it was too strong. "Uhh a little help here?!" I asked as Mabel was fighting another Robot and Melody was helping her. "Guess not" I called out as the robot broke the chair I was holding. "Crap" I mumbled as It reached out to grab me but suddenly it stopped.
Right then Soos walked out of the kitchen where I assumed he burned the disc. "She's gone. For good now" he said as we all calmed down looking around at the destruction all around us.
"I'm sorry for all of this. I honestly remember this place being a lot more fun when I was a kid." He told Melody as she chuckled.
"Believe it or not but I've been on worse dates." She told him as his eyes lit up. He had hope.
"Really?" He laughed a bit as she nodded.
"Never date a magician." The two laughed as they playfully hit each other.
"Oh! Hey you aren't maybe interested in going to my cousin's engagement party in a week? I promise there's like zero robot badgers." Soos asked her as she smiled and nodded.
"Yeah. I'll still be in town then." As she said that Soos threw her a confused look.
"Still be in town?" He asked her as she looked down.
"I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks. But we can video chat, if that's okay with you?" She asked him.
"A relationship with a girl that I can only see through my computer...sounds perfect!" He replied as the two laughed.
"Spirit of love, we did it!" Mabel said coming up to be.
"Good job Mabel" I told her as she smiled.
"Now all I have left is you two" She looked at Dipper and me as we both stared at her. "What? Don't think I forgot" she laughed as me and Dipper felt very uncomfortable. I wasn't the most confident since Mabel's words were true? Hinestly I wasn't sure. But seeing Dipper feel so disgusted and uncomfortable just by the thought of being with me, made me feel even worse.
"Let's just go" I told them with a harsh tone and a fake smile. "Stan's probably in jail right now" I said forcing a small laugh as we all left the Mall.
'Ello! Back at it with a 3k word chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Just wanted to drop by and say from now on chapters will be slightly longer because I'm trying to make it sound better for the readers. On average instead of 1.5-2k it will be around 3k or more. Bye and have a lively day~