KABANATA 8
THE moment Keith was in front of Leon and his friends' table, he was speechless.
Ang akala niya, mag-isa ang binata ngunit nagulat siya noong mapagtantong nasa malapit lang pala ang mga kasama nito. Pare-parehong nag-aalala kung paano iuuwi si Leon.
"Hinahanap na 'ko ni Lyle, sino ba mag-uuwi kay Le?" ani Gian.
Kilala niya ito dahil madalas itong dumalaw sa klinika niya. Madalas kasing masira ng binata ang mga binibiling salamin. Katunayan, isa si Gian sa mga dahilan para mas patibayin ang frames ng mga salamin sa klinika niya.
"We can't," kaagad na sagot ni Zamiel. "I've been robbed of some sexy time! I refuse to deal with a drunk Leon!"
Humikab si Ridge. "Huh. Pinagsasasabi mo e pag-uwi natin, matutulog na 'ko. Magpalad ka muna, Zamiel."
"Tang ina mo! I didn't—fuck! Sarap mong sakalin."
"King ina alam naming ayaw niyong paistorbo kaya niyo nga kinaladkad si Kuya Keith dito, 'di ba?! Mga malalandi!" sabad ni Zachariel.
Keith's eyebrow twitched the second Zachariel regarded him as "Kuya". Bigla niyang gustong masuka.
Mula noon talaga hanggang ngayon, nakikita niya na banta ang existence nito dahil ito ang pinakamalapit na kaibigan ni Leon. Ang pinakamadalas na kasama ng binata sa kalokohan at mga wirdong shenanigan. Kaya kahit na isa pa rin itong nasa kalagitnaan na ng pagse-settle down, hindi mabago-bago ang pananaw niya sa binata.
Napatikhim siya. "Ba't ako ang mag-uuwi kay Leon? You didn't even ask him."
Malakas pa rin ang tugtog sa bar kung kaya pinilit ni Keith na lakasan ang boses niya nang marinig siya ng mga kaibigan ni Leon. Hindi pa naman siya sanay na nagtataas ng boses.
Si Ridge ang sumagot sa kanya, "we needn't to. Kanina ka pa niya hinahanap."
"What?"
Itinuro nito ang walang malay na Leon. "Like I said, kanina ka pa hinahanap ni Leon, Kuya Keith."
Keith's eyebrow twitched upon the registering the information in his head.
"Alam niyong malaki ang galit niyang kaibigan ninyo sa 'kin, 'di ba?" napapantastikuhan niyang sabi.
In fact, despite worrying for Leon, he would never dare volunteer himself to bring him home. Baka kung magising ito, mas lalo lang maging agresibo. Mabugbog pa siya ng wala sa oras dahil nga lasing ito.
Tumango si Ridge. "Yeah but like... he's been calling your name since earlier."
"Tama! 'Tsaka ikaw dahilan ba't naglasing 'yan 'no," sabad naman ni Zachariel.
Napaismid siya. "Imposibleng ako."
Lalo na at kahit kailan, alam ni Keith na hindi sasagi sa isip ni Leon na ma-stress o malasing dahil sa kanya.
Sino ba siya? Nobody lang siya sa malaking mundo ng binata.
"Seryoso nga kami?" saad ni Zachariel tapos hinila pa si Gian palapit sa kanya. "Ayaw mo maniwala, tanungin mo si Gian!"
Keith fixated his gaze at them funny. As if they are in the middle of some prank and are just waiting for him to fall onto their trap.
"Gagamitin niyo pa si Gian." Dahil sa totoo lang, ito nga ang pinaka-less likely na magsinungaling sa kanilang lahat.
Gian flinched before he started to gesture. "Pe—pero totoo! Nagra-rant si Leon tungkol sa 'yo, Doc Gaviola! 'Tsaka kanina ka pa niya tinatawag talaga."
"Kung ayaw mo pa maniwala, inaway niya 'yong Engineer na kinuha mo no'ng isang araw. Isa 'yon sa dahilan ba't ka niya tinatawag," dagdag ni Ridge.
Napapantastikuhan niyang pinagmasdan ang buong barkada ni Leon. Hinahanap ang bahid ng pagsisinungaling sa mga itsura nito ngunit kahit gaano pa kadilim ang paligid at nakakahilo ang ilaw, tanging sinseridad lang ang nahanap ni Keith sa mga mukha nito.
"But why?"
Iyon ang hudyat na sabay-sabay siyang pinukalan ng wirdong titig ng mga kaibigan ni Leon.
"Kasi Kuya Keith," panimula ni Zachariel bago ito lumapit sa kanya para sana akbayan siya, pero sinampal niya ang kamay nito. Anyway, wala naman itong pakialam. "Alam mo bang nagpapasuyo lang talaga si Leon sa 'yo na kunin niya 'yong klinika? Magulo 'yang bitch na 'yan pero kung sinuyo mo pa siguro, baka um-oo na. Dapat dinalhan mo kasi ng chicken."
*
OH GOD, fuck off. Or fuck Keith.
Ilang beses iniuntog ni Keith ang ulo sa manobela ng sasakyan niya noong matanto kung ano ang ginawa.
Matapos niyang marinig ang paliwanag ng mga kaibigan ni Leon kung bakit ito nagliliwaliw, kaagad niyang binuhat ang binata patungo sa sasakyan niya. Iniwan pa niya mga kabarkada nito, kaya baka nagulat ang mga ito sa ginawa niya.
And now, he is stuck with the him. Nasa harap naman na sila ng bahay nito ngunit natutulog pa rin si Leon sa passenger's seat. Nakasandal ang ulo sa dashboard ng sasakyan at mahimbing na nagpapahinga.
At bilang nakasandal din ang ulo ni Keith sa manobela, mayroon siya ngayong magandang view ng gwapong mukha ni Leon.
Hindi niya tuloy naiwasan ang mangiti.
Keith Gaviola always knew how beautiful Leon Eleazar is. He had always been head over heels—so whipped that he does not mind the latter to wrap him around his little finger.
Katunayan, ang hirap pigilan ng kagustuhang hawakan ang mukha ni Leon. At bilang tulog din naman ang binata, kinuha na niya iyong tsansa para haplusin ang pisngi nito.
"Sarap ng tulog mo, naisahan tuloy ako ng mga kaibigan mo," aniya bago bumuntong hininga.
Ni hindi man nga siya sigurado kung nagsasabi ba ng totoo ang barkada ni Leon, e. Baka mamaya, pinasayaw lang talaga siya sa mga palad nila nang sa ganoon, maging madali ang buhay sa kanila.
"Ang tanga ko. Naniwala akong maglalasing ka dahil sa 'kin." Pagak siyang natawa bago muling iniuntog ang sentido sa manobela. "Kahit na ang totoo, wala ka talagang pakialam sa 'kin. Hangin nga lang yata ako sa mga mata mo."
Iyon ang matagal niyang ipinagtataka. Hindi sila ganito noon ni Leon. Katunayan, ang lapit nila sa isa't isa at sobra ang pag-aalaga niya sa binata noong mga bata pa sila. Mas kuya ang tingin nito sa kanya kaysa sa sarili nitong nakatatandang kapatid.
Pero sa isang iglap, nagbago lahat. Nagising na lang siya isang araw na galit sa kanya si Leon. And it hurts.
"Ba't ba ayaw mo sa 'kin?" he muttered.
"Kasi... bwishit ka."
Natigilan si Keith nang biglang sumagot si Leon. Napabalikwas siya at napatuwid ng upo noong makitang nakamulat na pala ang mga mata ng binata. Inalis niya rin ang kamay na nakahawak sa pisngi nito, siya namang pagnguso ng isa.
For a moment, his breathing hitched. Ang tagal din noong huli niyang nakuha na ngumuso si Leon.
"Oh, you're awake. I'm sorry if I'm the one you had to see right now. Pinasa ka sa 'kin ng mga kaibigan mo. Ihahatid lang din sana kita—"
Natigilan si Keith sa pagpapaliwanag noong abutin ni Leon ang kamay niya na kaninang nakahawak sa pisngi niya.
Namilog ang mga mata niya at nahulog na lang ang panga niya, lalo na noong ibalik ni Leon ang kamay niya sa pisngi nito.
He let out a shaky breath as he tried to register how calm and satisfied Leon looked after he did that. Especially when he didn't even bother to let go of Keith's hand, and instead; Leon guided him to rub his thumb on his cheek, which he gradually did.
"Excuse me?" hindi niya makapaniwalang tanong noong makabawi na mula sa internal shock.
Leon grunted. "Your hand is big and it feels nice and warm."
"Yeah, thanks," Keith said, almost stuttering. "Are you still drunk?"
"I'm not drunk," Leon replied after he slurred over some words and acted as if he was in the middle of purring— confirming that he is still under the influence of alcohol.
That made Keith feel shivers under his spine or so, something within him was awakened that he felt heat rushing through his veins until it reached 'that' part of his body. Of why Leon has to act like he is a cat right now, he does not know!
Moreover, is this not a chance to have a proper conversation? Though, it wouldn't be really proper but Leon can still respond to him like a normal person. So, he guessed that it is okay.
"Hinatid kita," malambing na aniya. "Nasa'n 'yong susi ng bahay niyo?"
With half lidded eyes, Leon stared at Keith.
"Ayaw ko umuwi," sagot nito.
Nginiwian niya ito. "I'm sorry baby, but that can't be."
"You called me baby?"
Keith was taken aback when he noticed the tinge of amazement in Leon's voice. When he tried to observe him, he couldn't help it but to inhale sharply when he realized that the male's eyes almost twinkled in astonishment.
This is weird and... had Leon always been like this?!
"Yeah, I called you baby. Sorry if it made you uncomfortable."
Imbes na sagutin siya, umayos ng upo si Leon. Awtomatikong nahulog ang kamay niya mula sa pisngi nito ngunit mukhang walang problema iyon sa isa kaya hinayaan niya.
Keith could not help it but to also noticed that Leon's forehead was furrowed and his eyes squinted while he stared at him. As if he was confused over something.
"By the way, who are you?" Leon asked, and he was wobbly that Keith had to act quick before he collapses back to his dashboard.
Then again, he was also taken aback again when he heard his question.
Matapos siya nitong igiya na hawakan siya tapos puriin ang kamay niya at mag-purr sa harap niya, tatanungin siya nito ngayon kung sino siya?
"It's me... Keith," he trailed off as he forced himself to taste that bitter flavor at the back of his throat.
Aba'y puta! Mabuti nalang pala, sa kanya ipinadala si Leon dahil kung ibang tao pa ang nakahawak ngayon sa binata at kung mayroon mang nangyari rito, iba pa ang maging silbi ng scalpel sa kanya.
Natigilan siya noong muling sumigla ang mukha ng binata. Na para bang bigla itong biniyayahan ng kendi.
"Kuya Keith," anito na siyang dahilan para mag-short circuit ang utak niya.
It had been more than ten years since Leon last called him 'Kuya'.
Fuck, how he misses Leon. His Leon.
"Why're you looking at me like that?" he asked, unsure of how should he feel of the drunken change that Leon underwent. But then, after a few moments, he gave up and cupped the other male's cheek again. "Don't go calling me Kuya Keith right now. Baka 'di talaga kita pauwiin."
"Pero ayaw ko nga umuwi."
Pagak siyang natawa bago binitawan ang pisngi ng binata. Inalis niya ang suot na seatbelt para lumabas at umikot sa sasakyan nang sa ganoon, maalalayan si Leon sa paglabas ng kotse niya.
But then, Leon abruptly held the hem of his shirt which made him surprised.
"Kuya, sa'n ka pupunta? Aalis ka na naman ba?"
There were tinges of pain and guilttripping in his voice as if Keith had left Leon alone before. It confused him for a bit until he realized that this guy is drunk – and that made him internally sigh.
"Iikot ako ng sasakyan," aniya.
Mas kalmado at mas malambing kaysa sa mga unang attempt niya ng pakikipag-usap dito.
"Tapos kukunin kita nang masuportahan kita sa pagtayo. You're still wobbly, after all."
Umangat ang mga kilay ni Leon. "Iuuwi mo pa rin ako kahit ayaw ko?"
"Oo naman, baka kasi kinabukasan, bigla mo akong sapakin."
Ayaw naman niyang mangyari iyon. Okay na iyong iniinsulto siya ni Leon at tinitignan ng masama. Ibang usapan kapag pisikalan na.
"Ba't kita sasapakin?" clueless na tanong nito.
"Dahil ayaw mo sa 'kin."
"But I don't hate you. I'm just upset."
Napamaang si Keith sa sinabi nito ngunit nang humikab si Leon, alam niyang dapat na niya itong iuwi.
With that, he went out of his car to pick Leon up.
Namomroblema siya. Ang daming gumugulo sa utak niya, lalo na't hindi niya mabasa ang isip ni Leon ngayon. He acts like a fifteen year old. Like how he did way, way, back when they were younger.
Ganito palang klase ng lasing si Leon, ano? Also, is it not that drunk people tend to reveal their deepest, darkest, and inner thoughts?
Kanina, iniisip niya na kung bakit siya biglang nilayuan ni Leon. Hindi kaya niya mapipiga ang sagot ngayon?
Napailing siya sa naisip at natawa na lamang. Mas magandang huwag nang umasa.
Moreover, his concern shouldn't really focus on their past, instead... of how Leon intends to look at him through the window of the passenger's seat. And apparently, he was sticking his face through the glass that it made Keith plaster an empty visage.
'What is he doing?' tanong niya sa sarili bago binuksan ang pinto ng sasakyan sa tabi nito.
It was then when he was greeted by a Leon who was just in the verge of breaking into tears, all the while still wearing a pout on his face. Hence, Keith crouched on the cement, just enough for them to see each other properly.
"Anong itsura 'yan?"
Inabot niya ang pisngi ni Leon at pinalis ang luha sa gilid ng mata nito. Is he also the type to cry when drunk?!
"Iuuwi mo 'ko e sabi ko nga kasi sa 'yo, ayokong umuwi. Gusto ko rito."
Bumuntong hininga siya. "'Di pwede. Sa'n ka naman matutulog? Diyan lang? Lamigin ka pa."
"Ayoko sa bahay, ako lang mag-isa."
"Sasamahan kita. Tara na, nasa'n din 'yong susi ng bahay mo?"
Imbes na sagutin siya, nag-iwas lang ng tingin si Leon. Suminghot pa para ipahayag na hindi talaga nito gusto ang ideya ng pag-uwi.
Ganito ba ang nararanasan ng mga kaibigan niya sa kanya tuwing nalalasing ito?
But then, Leon suddenly spread his arms as if he was waiting for Keith to hug—no, rather, to carry him. Napamaang siya sandali at hindi makapaniwalang pinagmasdan ang binata nang biglang bumara ang laway sa lalamunan niya.
"Anong gagawin ko riyan?"
"Pakarga," walang anu-ano'y sabi naman ni Leon.
Now he was more surprised. "Are you sure? Baka bigla mo 'kong saksakin patalikod, Leon."
"Ba't ko gagawin 'yon? Pakarga ako, Kuya Keith."
The pout on Leon's countenance made Keith concede. He immediately posed to carry Leon, however, as he was just about to hold him in his arms, the other male whispered on his ears and said:
"I'm mad at you. Ba't ibang engineer kinuha mo?"
Namilog ang mga mata niya ngunit bago pa man siya makaatras, ipinulupot na ni Leon ang mga braso sa leeg niya. And though, he was allowed to move a bit just so he could see the expression on the younger male, he was still surprised.
Pait, galit, pagkasiphayo, at kung anu-ano pang negatibong emosyon ang sumasayaw sa mga mata ni Leon noong mga oras na iyon. For a second, Keith was confused and mad afraid that Leon is no more drunk. But of how his face flushed and how he slurred over a few syllables tell him otherwise.
"Leon?" mahinang sambit niya sa ngalan ng binata.
Siya namang pagsinghot ulit nito. "I wanted to take the damn project. Can I take it back?"
There were no proper words that escaped Keith's lips the moment he attempted to respond. He was just there, mumbling incoherent syllables which made Leon furrow his forehead.
"And what's more is that you took a woman. Type mo ba kaya mo kinuha? Pwede rin ba kitang suntukin? You're also like this back then..."
What does he mean? Anyway, now he is getting aggressive. Nababaliw ba si Leon kapag lasing?
"She's not my type," that at least, Keith managed to say. "Hell, I'm not even into her. You know who I like."
'It's you...' was what he wanted to say, but he couldn't.
"Sinungaling. Gano'n type mo. Gano'n dinala mo sa bahay dati. It's unfair," nagtatampong sabi ni Leon.
Speechless is one word to describe Keith right now, but it does not sit right. More than speechless, he was unable to discern what the fuck is going on. He does not know this Leon.
Who is this person in front of him?
His damned inner self and thoughts, you asshole. The voice at the back of his head, his conscience, said.
"I don't hate you but I'm upset..." Leon trailed off before he sniffled. "You also reprimanded me for dating too, 'di ko alam kung sa'n ako lulugar. Can't I enjoy the greatest time of my life?"
It's not like Leon cannot enjoy his youth. It was just that... Keith was unreasonably possessive back then that he could not even find his faults.
Of course, that was what he was thinking at this moment but he could not even bring himself to tell a drunk Leon. He would not understand, and he might forget.
"I'm sorry," was all that Keith could say.
Lalong humaba ang pagkakanguso ni Leon bago nito ibinuka ang bibig. "Tatanggapin ko sorry mo 'pag sinuyo mo 'ko ulit na kunin 'yong project."
Nanatili ang mga mata niya sa gwapong mukha ng binata. Napapaisip, ngunit sa huli pagak na lamang na natawa bago bumuntong hininga.
Ibig sabihin, totoo ba iyong sinasabi ng mga kaibigan ni Leon sa kanya kanina? Na tama rin ang hinala ni Leonardo sa kapatid? Na nagpapalambing lang ang binata sa kanya, nagpapapansin dahil uhaw sa atensyon niya.
Sa totoo lang, ayaw nalang niyang isipin. Lasing si Leon at kahit ito man ang pinakabumabagabag sa binata, wala siyang magawa.
"'Yon din ang gusto kong mangyari pero Le, we already signed a contract."
"But I want it," anito.
'yna.' Grave sin kay Keith ang biglang magbago ng isip lalo na't mayroon nang maayos na usapan na nabuo. Napirmahan na niya iyong papel at kahit sunugin niya iyon ng ilang beses, hindi maipasasawalang bisa ang ganoon.
"I can't spoil you all the time. That's unfair," aniya bago bumuntong hininga. "I can't adjust twenty-four seven, Leon. Kung gusto mo 'yon, dapat sinabi mo agad sa 'kin dahil liligawan at kukumbinsihin kita nang paulit-ulit kung gusto mo."
Even though Keith had said more than what he originally intended, it seemed as if Leon was at that stage of choosing which to absorb. And out of all things, it had to be...
"Liligawan mo 'ko? You can't even kiss me," ani Leon, may bahid ng paghahamon at pagdududa sa pananalita.
Keith almost choked on his own spit. Ilang beses siyang napaubo hanggang sa tuluyang nag-init ang mga pisngi niya. Ngunit imbes na mag-panic, nginisian niya lamang ang binata.
Even so, his cool immediately died down after he saw lust glinting on Leon's eyes. As if the male wanted him to do something.
But... he can't. He can't because...
"Because if I ever did, I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop myself from doing things to you."
There is no guarantee that Leon would ever wake up the next day safe and sound. That he would be able to walk or probably escape from Keith because that man whom he have long sealed away might want to own Leon.
He have already mastered the art of self control, and he would not let that side of him wreak havoc because if ever he did... he would always want Leon.
To have him moaning, panting, screaming, and begging for more of Keith's whole being. As if he would never be able to live without him.
"What things?"
Leon's question dragged him back to reality, and all that he could do was blink.
"Things," simpleng aniya bago nagkibit balikat. "You're already old to understand but since you're drunk, you're suddenly back to your fifteen year-old self."
Ang balak ni Keith, pasimpleng alisin ang seat belt ni Leon at buhatin ito bago kapaan upang hanapin ang susi ng bahay ng binata. And when he was successful, he immediately leaned to prepare himself from carrying Leon.
Only that something else happened.
Keith originally intended to lean towards Leon's neck. Not to sniff him, but to adjust himself and that he could carry the other male easily.
The thing is, before he could even lean past through the male's cheek, Leon turned his head to catch Keith's lips with his own — and that astounded the older male that he froze in place.