Junqian was unable to think straight. He knew... Although he knew that his mother wasn't that good of a person, he didn't expect her to do such heinous things.
Even though Li NanYin had clarified that Junqian was not involved in anything, he still had to be investigated properly. After the interrogation, they found sufficient evidence of Junqian being innocent. So they finally let him go.
It was quite late when Junqian returned home. Fu Gui was anxiously waiting for him. He had also heard about what had happened by then.
When Junqian saw Fu Gui looking at him so worriedly, he couldn't control himself as he went ahead to hug his lover. He tightly wrapped his hands around Fu Gui.
"Ah-Gui... She..."
Fu Gui didn't hesitate to hug him back. His highness must be feeling hurt. He thought.
"I... I hate her..." Junqian said. Although he spoke about hating Li NanYin, the pain in his voice indicated something else.
"I still wanted to make her understand... that power and wealth aren't everything. I wanted to make her understand that she's wrong! Her views are wrong! But she..." Junqian spoke as his voice choked.
Fu Gui didn't know how to console him. He could only keep on patting Junqian.
Junqian said in an expectant voice, "She... She said to father... She said I wasn't involved in all this. She tried to protect me by doing so, right? Do you think... Do you think she actually cares about me? Do you think she loves me? Even if it's just a bit..."
Fu Gui nodded. "Hmm... I think... I think she cares about you."
Junqian, "Really? She does?"
Fu Gui, "I think she cares about you. It's just that... she doesn't know how to show it."
Junqian, "I hope so... I really do hope that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the day before Li NanYin's execution. Junqian had tried his best to harden his heart and accept all of this. He knew that Li NanYin couldn't be saved. What she did was inexcusable. And the Emperor's orders were absolute. There was really no way to save her.
Although Junqian might hate her morals and actions, he still couldn't help but long for her love and care like he always did. At least once. He wanted to hear words of love from her at least once.
Junqian held Fu Gui's hand tightly. He had gained permission to visit Li NanYin. He stood before the prison she was locked in. Her face was completely devoid of any expression, as if she had already accepted the fact that she was about to die.
"Mother..." Junqian called out nervously.
The woman lifted her head and smiled at him.
"You're still calling me mother? I thought you hated me?"
Junqian, "Yes, I hate you."
Li NanYin didn't say anything at that.
Junqian couldn't bear her silence as he asked,
"Why? Why did you try to protect me there?"
Li NanYin, "Where?"
Junqian said with some hope hidden in his heart, "At the Imperial court... Why did you try to clarify things for me?"
Li NanYin sneered, "I was going down anyways. But I couldn't drag you down. As long as you are proven innocent, you'll still have a chance to inherit the throne."
Junqian was angered. "Is that all you thought of? Don't you care about me... even if it's just a little?"
Li NanYin, "Junqian, I care about you and that's why I want this for you. The way you're doing things won't give you much. You need-"
Junqian shouted, "Enough... I was a fool to even think that you might actually care about me... Even after all this... You didn't mend your ways... Thank you for shattering all of my hopes, mother."
Junqian didn't wait for her to say anything. He left the place without waiting any further.
Fu Gui wanted to follow him. But when he saw the expression on Li NanYin's face, he just couldn't.
She was smiling. But the immense sorrow in her eyes couldn't be hidden. She said,
"He really is very naive when it comes to such matters. Even though he's so talented at all the other things.
When Junqian was a toddler, he liked to play with mud. One day, he accidentally swallowed mud while playing. That was the very first time I had scolded him. But even after being heavily scolded by me, he came and demanded to be held. He probably doesn't remember those things. After all, he was so small at that time.
Ah... I started reminiscing about those things again."
"You... You clearly care about his highness. Then... Why did you lie? Why did you say those mean things?"
Li NanYin laughed. "You're so silly. This is why I was against him marrying you. How are you two silly people going to live?
There's no need for him to know that I care about him. It's better that he thinks of me as an evil person. Well, I'm an evil person so that's not wrong actually. It's better for Junqian to hate me."
"But why? His highness is hurting. He just... He just wants to know that you care about him!" Fu Gui said.
"I know... I know that he's hurting. But it's still better for him to not know that. Junqian is a kind but a naive person. If he knows about that, after I'm gone, he'll feel really guilty. His heart will be broken further... He'll blame himself for the rest of his life.
Rather than that... It's better for him to believe that I'm a selfish and bad person. That way, his pain will be a lot less."
Li NanYin sighed before continuing.
"Fu Gui... Although you're not the best, Junqian loves you. Do you love him?"
Fu Gui didn't hesitate to nod as he blushed hard.
His cute actions made Li NanYin laugh.
"Then... Do me a favor. Stay with him. Please, take care of him. And don't let him know about the conversation we had. You can do this much, right?"
Fu Gui felt his eyes water. He nodded. He could do this. It was the very first... and last request Junqian's mother had made to him. He would definitely fulfill it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day Li NanYin was executed, Junqian stayed at home with the excuse of being sick. He could never watch her die.
Fu Gui was beside Junqian. He looked at Junqian's melancholic gaze.
"She's such a selfish woman."
Fu Gui didn't say anything. He just held Junqian's hand tight.
Junqian, "She's getting her retribution. I can't be sad about that.
But was it... was it that difficult for her to say that she loved me? Why create such a scenario? I'm not that weak willed. Such a liar she is. I... I really hate her..."
Fu Gui was surprised by what Junqian said. He... He knew....
Fu Gui saw a smile form on Junqian's lips while silent tears came out of his eyes. He also couldn't hold himself back as he cried along with him.
"Ah-Gui... I love you..." Junqian said.
Fu Gui hugged Junqian. "I love you too..."
Although it was a simple confession, the feelings behind it wasn't something others could get.
As long as you love me... I'll be fine... As long as you're with me...
A/N~~: There will be one last side story and two more chapters for the main one.
I was wondering. Are there any fundanshis here? I've seen quite a lot of fujoshis. Even my close friend is a fujo. It's my dream to have a fundanshi friend.
｡ﾟ°(❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)⁾…♡
Thanks for reading this chapter~
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