NEEDS TO BE RE-WRITTEN
tw: some mentions of abuse and sexual assault
afraid, fearful, worried, those are all words that can describe someones feelings. the thing is that they don't really describe mine, because i am feel way more than all off those. thinking about yesterday i was the opposite.
happy, joyful, excited, could be words to describe yesterday. I met with layla and madds and it was like i never left, we made jokes all day, and we even went out to eat. those are the days i wish i could always have.
but the sad truth is thats not life, life is not all sunshine and rainbows, no matter whoever is is we all have our own struggles. do you ever think about what you family or friends are thinking? you never know clearly, they could be at their lowest and no one would know.
thats life.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when my door suddenly opened and mattia walked is, "sorella you have to get up," my bed dipped and i could fell an arm around me and someone pull to to their chest, "we will be their for you the entire time dont worry baby," he whispered into my ear.
"i know," i say up and gave him a reassuring smile. he gave me a kiss on my forehead and left the room. i practically dragged myself out of bed and into my bathroom. I took a shower while thinking about everything.
loss, that world can symbols someone who had a part of your life. mostly it is used no show someone you deeply appreciated but in my case it is showing someone who caused so much pain my entire life. although i bet he had positive impact in many peoples life.
thinking about all the people who have probably cried over his death or were deeply effected. i guess i was effected but i think it was for the good. now i have a real family for the first time in my life.
does that make me a bad person?
i stepped out of the shower and dried myself off before putting on my white dress that i brought. it was very cute actually. I applied a strong amount of makeup under my eyes to try and hid the under-eye bags, due to my lack of sleep.
I also applied some blush and mascara and straighten my hair. I walked out to be meeted with my brothers who were both in back and white suites.
"you look beautiful bambina," leo told me and i looked down to try and hide my blush which made both of them let out a chuckle.
the ride their was very silent to the point where the silents seemed loud. we pulled out and i took a deep breath as ron opened the door for me.
mettia gave my shoulders a reassuring squeeze and we walked in. most of the people i didn't recognize but the group of men in the corner caught my eye. i locked eyes with one and he gave me a smirk. hunter.
"hello bella its nice of you to join us," he said while walking over to us, "its great to be here," i said sarcastically while giving him the most forced smile i could get. he went to give me a hug but i quickly backed away right into leos chest.
hunter scoffed than angrily walked away. i turned to leo who gave me a concerned look i looked down trying to avoid eye contact, "hey you ok?" he asked me, and i nodded and started to walk into the room where everyone was seated.
"im going to run to the bathroom real quick I will be right back," i told them while getting out of my seat, "ok be careful," i rolled my eyes and walked away.
i walked into the bathroom when i saw a lady looking in the mirror, she looked to be in her 20s, and to be about 5'8 and had blonde hair. "hey," i looked directing all my attention to her, "um hello," i told her quietly.
"are you isabella?" she asked me which i nodded, "aw well im amanda josh's girlfriend,"
"nice to meet you," i was about to walk into a stall when she gripped my hand very tightly, "listen to me you bitch you are the reason he is dead its all you fault, im going to make you life a living hell so be ready for that, now until we meet again,"
"YOU ARE WORTHLESS"
"YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING"
with that she pushed me down and stormed out of the bathroom.
i quickly got up and wiped myself off and went to the bathroom. when i was walking out i felt an arm go around my stomach and pull me into a closet. i look up and recognized the guy. one of my dads and friends. "why dont we do what we used to do baby?" he whispered into my ear.
he slowly started moving his hands lower but before he could do anything i kneed him where the sun doesn't shine and sprinted out of the closet.
I brushed myself off and walked back to where my brothers were and sat in my spot right between them.
i looked up and saw that hunter was about to speak, "thank you everyone for joining us, we are here to remember josh williams, he was and amazing friend and coworker," he took a pause and landed his eyes right on me.
"he also adored his daughter and wished he could still be with her, he loved her company, although she never really was a good listener," is this bitch serious? I was feeling like i was about to throw up so i quickly jumped out of my seat and I could see hunter smirking.
i pushed the doors open and sprinted outside where I felt like i was emptying all my insides. mettia was holding my hair back while whispering into my ear.
"hey hey its ok, its ok bella."
after i was finished i felt so sick and just wanted to go back home. "lets go," leo said sternly. as we were walking i felt a hand go over my mouth. i saw hunter and all he friends right by us.
"well aren't you leaving the party early baby?" i tried to wiggle out but he had a very tight grip on me.
"let go of her or i swear a will shoot you," mettia said as he held his gun up, "i mean you could do that but you will probably end up shooting her in the process, then you won't be able to sell her." leo glared at him and with no hesitation he shot him right in the leg.
which led the rest of his friends to sprint away and him to lay on the ground clutching his leg.
"what the hell," i shouted at them. mettia was trying to reach out to my but i backed away, "bella you can either follow us to the car or we will force you to, you choose," leo angrily stated while walking up to me.
i turned around ready to run but someone put their arm around my stomach and pulled me to their chest, "don't run."
i started sobbing as they were pulling me to the car, "BELLA THEY ARE HIDING A LOT OF STUFF FROM YOU," i hear hunter yell. i looked at my brother but they just kept their eyes ahead.
they dragged me into the car where i was seated by mattia in the back. "bella if you even are thinking about believing him that is awful and horrible, remember all the things he did to you yea? so dont even think about believing that bitch or their will be consicinses," leo said, this just made me sob harder as i tried to open the doors but they were locked.
when we got back our hotel room and quickly went to the door and changed into some sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and packed my bag.
i think their is something wrong with my brothers they are so nice one minute and hate my the next, is that like a boy thing.
"BELLA WERE LEAVING," i heard someone yell, i looked through my room to make sure i didn't forget anything then walked out to where my brothers were.
we all walked down to the car together.
"you hungry?" mattia questioned, "oh so now you like me?"
"what the hell are you talking about."
"well i don't know maybe how one minute you were being nice to me and the next you were dragging me to the car, does that ring a bell?"
"dramatic much," mattia muttered.
"bella don't ever raise your voice at me again do you understand," leo stated. i scoffed and the rolled my eyes at him.
we went on the plane and we all sat around one of the tables their. a flight attendant came up to us and asked what we wanted to eat, "um i'll just have the mac n cheese please," i told her.
after getting my brothers orders she walked away and into one of the doors. "are you feeling better?" i swear he is on him man period. "yup perfect! could be better! im doing extravagant actually! thank you for asking!" i stated while throwing my hands in the air.
"you need to get rid of this attitude." leo glared at me.
"i can't even believe you guys," just as i was about to stand up mattia put his hand on my shoulder pushing me back down, "we will eat as a family," just as he said that the girl came out with the food, "enjoy!" she smiled and the walked away.
we ate in very uncomfortable silence, and when i was finished i got up and went to the couch and drifted to sleep.
UNTOLD
i woke up to someone violently shaking me, i jumped up and saw mattia kneeling next to me. "were home," he said with a smile on his face. we both walked out of the plane and into a car that was waiting for us outside.
it was still daytime in miami so i didn't really want to go to sleep yet, i want to be able to see the rest of my brothers. i kinda missed them but i won't tell them that of course.
we pulled up to the gate and up the driveway where we all got out because ron said he could bring our bags inside.
the boys were all at school the only person home was metteo he gave my a big hug when i came in which i returned. although it was kinda weird. my two goals it to try and get closer to metteo and aundre well see how that goes.
i went to the kitchen to quickly get somthing to eat, which i chose on a bag of chips, mattia gave me an amused look. when I flnished I made my way up to my room and unpacked and took a shower because I could still feel their touch on me.
I turned on my tv and started watching youtube as I unpacked my clothes, I was sad because I had to go to school tomorrow but at least I get to see my friends. also im kinda sad because I haven't been able to go to soccer practice or our game because of everything that has been happening.
a while later my door swing open and enzo and riccardo walked in, "YOU MISS ME BITCH," enzo yelled as he tackled me to my bed. "no not really," i giggled out. "WE KNOW YOU MISSED US," this time riccardo yelled and jumped on me.
I was squished below both of them not, "METTIA, LEO, METTEO, HELP ME PLEASE! there ARE TWO GIANTS ON ME," i yelled they all quickly rushed in but just chuckled when they saw the scene infront of them.
after a while they decited to finally help me and i could finally breath again. I made sure to take big breaths to exaggerate everything. once everyone was gone I watched tv for a little bit longer. I was very tired even though it was only 7 so I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
UNTOLD
"oh bella i thought i was you favorite of you dads friends?" chase said while walking close to me. each step he took i took one back which ended up cornering me into the wall.
"no please I will do anything," i pleaded as i slid my body down the wall. he walked up to me landing a punch straight into my jaw. he than while I was laying on the ground repeatedly kicked me in the ribs.
"please please stop!" i yelled.
"bella wake up."
"NO DONT TOUCH ME." i pleaded again.
"bella sweety its just a dream."
"PLEASE I WILL DO ANYTHING."
"bella wake up!"
i then shot up grasping for air as I looked around seeing leo and riccardo holding down my feet and metteo and aundre my arms. Enzo and mattia on both side of me trying to calm me down.
"bella its just a dream your ok, your ok," mettia whispered into my ear as he pulled me to his chest.
"you 3 go back to bed," then enzo, riccardo, and aundre all left giving me a smile. even aundre.
"baby whats wrong are you ok?" Mattia asked softy while whipping away my tears. "y-yes just a d-dream," i chocked out. then i felt being picked up and brought out of my room. I was placed in a room I haven't seen before and leo came and layed right next to me.
this must be his room, "are you sure your ok?" he asked me, "y-yes," i stuttered, he pulled me up so my head was laying on his chest. then darkness swallowed me up.
UNTOLD
"bella what do you want for you birthday?!" my mom asked 10 year old me.
"can we go to the beach me, you and josh pretty please," I was jumping up and down excited for her to answer.
"of corse we can sweetheart," josh reassured me, "where do you want to go?"
"c-can we go to australia we have never been there before," i asked eagerly, "of corse sweetheart I will go look for tickets right now." he said giving me a smile.
"oh bella you are so silly to think anyone would want to do that for you," josh whispered into my ear, "b-but we did go o-on my 10th birthday remember?"
"yes that was when your mother was alive, before YOU killed her,"
"i-i didn't kill her its not my fault," i pleaded, "yes it is so now I will be giving you a punishment understand?"
"n-no p-please."
"BELLA GET UP."
"j-josh please."
"METTEO, MATTIA."
I screamed that jolted up noticing that i was wrapped tightly around leos arms, "it ok bambina i got you, he's not here," just as he said that metteo and mattia came rushing in, "did you get it?" leo questioned.
"g-get what?" i stuttered out, "stay still ok this is only going to hurt for a second," mettia explained, "N-NO," i yelled back and tried to squirm out of leos tight grip, metteo grabbed my arm tightly making sure i couldnt more.
I then felt a slight pinch than my vision turned into darkness.
LEO
i was tightly holding bella in my arms trying to wake her up. she was squirming, sweating, and screaming, and my attempts to wake her up wasn't working.
i texted mattia earlier that if it happens again bring the medicine, which pretty much was the stuff to put her asleep for a while.
"that was definitely not a dream," metteo shouted. I have him a stern look to be quiet.
"yea i agree no once screams in the middle of a dream, it seamed more like a memory. somthing could have triggered it, maybe something that happened at the funeral?" mettia stated.
"yea maybe, your the smart one here not me," metteo answered back in an annoyed tone.
"you to get back to bed I will take care of her," i said while pulling her close to me. "call me if you need anything," mattia answered as he closed the door.
one think i know we are going to do is find out whats wrong with my sorella and kill anyone and everyone who dared to hurt her.
UNTOLD
how are you doing?
(2880 words in the chapter)