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"No.... no, no, no, Wanda, I'm going to faint." Summer panted, the positive pregnancy stick clanking to the floor when it fell from her clammy hands.
Wanda looped an arm around her to hold her upright and lead her to sit on the bed. "Breathe, Summer. Try to relax-"
"Relax!?" She exasperated. "I'm pregnant! I-I'm going to be a single mom to two kids."
"Don't say that, you're not alone." She firmly cut her friend off. Once she was stable enough on the bed, she cupped her face so she would look at her. "Listen to me. You have possibly the best support system in the world backing you up. You're not alone in this."
Her eyes closed as she tried to catch her breath and she dropped her head. "I'm sorry for snapping, I just.... gosh, I'm scared." She rasped and gave Wanda's hand a thankful squeeze, holding it now instead of them being on her face. "We were trying for a baby before all of this, and with everything happening.... I just didn't think about it." She admitted. Her throat burned as she choked back the sobs trying to force their way up.
"Hey, Siv wanted to come and check on- oh." Thor cut himself off at the sight of the tears on Summer's cheeks. He tried to grab Siv before she could notice, but it was too late. At the sight of her tears, she bolted into her mother's arms.
"Mommy, what's wrong?" She exasperated, her tiny hands on either side of her face.
She smiled the best she could at her and placed her hands over hers. "I'm okay, just a little stressed."
"But why?"
She took in a deep breath and carefully explained, "because I didn't know how to tell you you're going to be a big sister."
Her jaw dropped, as did Thor's. "Really!?" They exclaimed at the same time.
Summer's nod was all it took for Siv to throw herself into her mom's arms and squeeze her in a tight hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, mommy!" She squealed, her innocence in the whole situation ripping Summer's heart even more. She'd been asking for a sibling for a while now, but this wasn't exactly how she thought things would go.
While she was trapped in the hug, Summer peeked up at Thor in the doorway, seeming to still be in shock. She kissed the side of Siv's head and pulled back from the embrace to quietly say, "I have to speak to your uncle real quick. Give me one second, okay?"
Siv didn't seem to mind one bit and went on to blab to Wanda how excited she was to be a big sister.
Summer straightened her clothes out and approached her brother in law. They stepped out into the hallway for some privacy and he closed the door behind them. "I'm not sure whether or not I should say congratulations." He admitted after a beat.
"I.... I don't know what I want to hear either." She replied, honestly. Her eyes were blank, tired, and processing as her brain scrambled for the right words to say. Finally, she swallowed hard and managed to croak out, "I'm so scared, Thor."
He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and she stiffened. Physical touch from others- particularly other men- was something she still had to get used to. "You know we all have your back. You won't be doing this alone."
"I know," she sniffled and managed to give him a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Thank you for that."
"It's what family is for." He assured her earnestly and gave her shoulder a squeeze.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and said, "I think I need to lay down for a bit, would you mind-"
"I can watch Siv for a bit." He politely cut her off, already knowing what she needed. "Get all the rest you need."
•••
Summer adamantly shook her head and ripped her arms from his grasp. "No, Loki, no. I'm done! Send me home! I want to go back! I refuse for you to manipulate me and turn me into a monster like you."
His lips curled into a forced smirk, his head tilted at her rather bold statement. "A what? Turn into a what?" He tested and took a step towards her, making her take two back- but he kept right up with her. "You think this is me being a monster? If you think I'm a monster to you, maybe I should have you sit in on one of my meetings so you can really see how much of a monster I can actually be."
"Stop it." She swallowed, backing up a step as the monster continued to prowl closer.
"But why?" He spoke, his brows furrowed in feign innocence.
Her back hit the wall, trapped. When he didn't get a reply, he kept right on. "I can see it forming in your eyes... The panic." He whispered and humorless laugh tumbled past his lips. "What's suddenly got you so scared? You were so brave just seconds ago."
"I'm not scared of you." She answered quickly, too quickly, and crossed her arms in front of her in an attempt to get them to stop shaking.
Now toe to toe with her, he chuckled and cocked an eyebrow. "Don't lie, sweetheart. It won't work with me."
Bravely- stupidly, she tried to shove him away from invading her personal space. To her horror, he didn't even budge. She kept up with her obviously pretend confidence and spat, "get away from me! Who the hell do you think you are!?"
"Who the hell do I think I am?" He repeated, venomously, and clicked his tongue as a wicked smile stretched across his face.
"I am Loki Laufeyson." He hummed as his hand grabbed hers. She tried to fight at first, but when his grip tightened in warning, she froze. "I am a god, despite what you think."
"I have a 'horrendous and mean temper' to quote you." He sneered, and his hands trailed up her arms. "Because after all, I am a monster."
She shuddered, her breath caught in her throat.
"And then I have you... a human half my size, who talks quite big for her small stature." He seethed, and she screamed as his fist flew by her head so fast, just inches from her face, no doubt leaving quite the dent in the wall.
"I know it's not me you're scared of, it's what I am. It's what I'm capable of doing to a small human like you, even though I've never hurt you." He sneered, his tall frame looming over her. "Anyone who could even begin to comprehend what I am would be terrified of me, and rightfully so..."
Summer woke from her dream, screaming.
She wouldn't call them dreams anymore.... they were just old memories she prayed she never had to face again, but every night she did.
•••
"Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture." He said with no emotions to his tone. His eyes were blank, his mind elsewhere. It normally was.
"Can you elaborate that for me?" The counselor asked and crossed her legs to get more comfortable.
Loki sighed and anxiously fidgeted in his chair. "I long to get memories back of my child.... I know I could ruin her if I leave her, but I could do the same if I stay and still don't remember her.... at in the same time, if I do get memories back of her again, wouldn't all the bad ones come with it? I don't know if I've hurt her. I don't know what I've done or what I'd even be capable of doing." He explained and released a shuddered breath.
The counselor paused for a moment as she wrote something down. "Would it help if someone told you? The things you've done, I mean."
"As much as I don't want to know.... I can't fix it if I don't know what it is. I can't get better if I don't know what I need to get better from." His eyes slowly traveled upward and a lone tear fell from his eye. "I don't want to forget. I want to be okay with remembering. Please tell me what I've done."
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