(Play Circles by Pierce the Veil for clear skin bless ✨🌸💕✨💕✨💕🌸✨)
"Okay, okay, just give it a shot." Castiel said, laughing.
Dean rolled his eyes. "What is this again?"
"Pierce The Veil! They're like, quintessential scene." Cas answered, gaping at his lack of knowledge.
"How was I supposed to know that?" Dean exclaimed, laughing.
"They were HUGE when you were in high school!" Castiel said, throwing his arms up in exasperation.
The sun shone brightly and glinted off the glossy surface of the Impala as it sped down the highway. The duo drove through the Kansas countryside, passing lush green expanses of farmland, corn whizzing past the windows.
Dean laughed. "I wasn't exactly up to date when I was in high school. The 'in' crowd was not my scene."
"Oh so it WASN'T super cool to recite Shakespeare? I would have never guessed!" Cas teased, cackling at Dean's bitch face.
"Who's this guy?" Dean asked, gesturing at the stereo as the vocalist began singing.
"Vic Fuentes. He's a legend, he's like, top ten scene vocalists."
Dean nodded, impressed. "He sounds pretty good. A little whiney, if anything."
Cas chuckled at that. "It's an acquired taste."
He looked over at Dean. His honey blonde hair blew gently in the breeze from the slightly open drivers-side window, shining like gold in the midday sun. His tanned skin was radiant, freckles sprinkled over his nose and a sun-kissed color that contrasted Castiel's own starkly.
Dean lacked his usual white button-down and slacks combo on this breezy Sunday afternoon, instead in his off-duty uniform of a worn-out old band tee, jeans, and soft leather jacket. Currently, that jacket was tossed across the backseat of the Impala, as the warm weather permitted him to put his muscular arms on display.
His green eyes sparkled as he glanced over at Castiel, smiling warmly. It made the teenagers heart skip a beat. He might've looked normal to anyone else, but to Castiel, he was nearly luminous.
"I love you." Castiel said softly in the direction of Dean's perfect profile, brushing his thumb across their intertwined hands.
Today, they were in their own world, untouchable. Though the problems of real life remained, the warm, late-spring air running past them evaporated anything but us.
~~~~~~~~
Cas slammed the trunk of the Impala shut and slung the bag he had packed this morning over his shoulder. He shuffled back to where Dean sat on a blanket and gazed out over a field of dandelions. He turned to Cas as the younger boy sat down, his hair blowing over his face in the early spring breeze. He unzipped the bag and took out a couple of Tupperware containers. He was about the hand Dean one of them when he quickly retracted it.
"Ok, I'm not much of a cook, so you can't judge me if it's bad!" He gave Dean a warning look, guarding his container.
Dean opened his mouth in mock surprise. "Ah, have I found the one thing Castiel Novak is not good at?"
Cas glared at him.
"Shut the fuck up!" Dean laughed at this. "You know what? No, you don't even deserve this sandwich!" He pulled it closer to his chest, turning the other way.
Dean pouted. "AW come on. I want to try it! I'm sure it's great."
Castiel begrudgingly handed the plastic container over and watched Dean like a hawk as he opened it.
"Wow, pesto? Ciabatta? So fancy."
Cas rolled his eyes. "Just try it!"
Dean took a bite, his face lighting up. "Wow, holy shit. This is good!"
"Why do you sound so surprised?!" Cas yelled playfully.
"Hey," Dean said, "You lowered my expectations. That'll teach you not to sell yourself short."
Castiel took a bite of his own sandwich.
"Oh, wow. Fuck. It is good."
~~~~~~~~~
After lunch, the pair laid on the blanket, eyes closed as they relaxed under the sun.
Cas sat up suddenly. "I've never seen where you live."
Dean opened one eye.
"Yeah, I've never seen where you live either."
"Ok but you know that's different." Castiel sighed. "Can we go? I want to see your apartment."
Dean was silent but couldn't help the smile creeping onto his lips.
"You can show me your bedroom..." Cas said in a sing-song voice, his hand finding its way to Dean's thigh.
"You drive a hard bargain, Novak."
~~~~~~~~
Dean opened the door to his dark and humble apartment slowly. He stepped in, moving out of the doorway and gesturing for Castiel to enter.
Castiel smiled up at him as he obliged, stepping in and leaning down to unzip his combat boots.
"You don't have to do that." Dean said, flipping on a light in the tiny kitchen, only separated from the living room and entryway by a small island.
Castiel shrugged. "Force of habit. Anna's really particular about it." He walked up to the counter and leaned on his forearms, resting them atop the beige-colored surface.
Castiel fought not to give into the temptation to poke around and explore. He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable, so he forced himself to be casual, not even sparing anything but his initial glance around. He kept his focus 100% on Dean in the hope that he wouldn't look as nosy as he wanted to be.
Dean felt his stomach twisting nervously. He didn't know why Castiel being in his sad, drab little apartment felt so wrong, like he'd brought a diamond into a 7/11.
"So....what do you think?" Dean asked nervously, hands resting to either side of him on the counters edge.
Cas took this as his opportunity to get a look around. "It's cute. I like it, it's cozy." He turned back to Dean and smiled softly up at him.
Dean chuckled. "I don't know about cute, but it gets the job done."
Cas laughed, grabbing Deans hand from across the counter, tracing the lines on his large hand.
"I always imagined my first apartment looking something like this." Castiel said softly, looking down at the hand grasped between his own. "Like, I'd be in college and on my own and living the good life." He almost sounded wistful for something that hadn't even happened yet.
Dean reached up to cup his face, Cas looking up to meet his gaze.
"Are you alright, Angel?" Dean asked.
Cas smiled. "Yeah, sorry." He laughed quietly.
"Why are you sorry?" Dean asked, thumb rubbing the younger boy's cheek.
"I just feel like...I don't know. You've already lived so much more life than me. I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do." Cas said, voice trailing off.
Dean frowned slightly at this. "I didn't know you felt that way. Am I doing anything to make you feel like that?"
Castiel shook his head. "No, no, you're perfect. I think that's the problem." He chuckled. "I feel like I can't give you the same experience as someone your age." He didn't dare to look up.
After a beat, he heard Dean breathe out. "Baby, come here."
He walked around the island to the other side, finally meeting Dean's gaze.
His brows were furrowed. He pulled Cas into a tight embrace. After a moment, Dean spoke softly and Castiel could feel the vibrations of speech through Dean's chest, the low rumble soothing him.
"You are so important to me. I've never cared so much about something in my whole life. You give me purpose, Castiel." Dean's voice was so quiet, he was suddenly very aware of how silent the room was. "I'm so in love with you, Angel. It's only been a few months, but I just know. You're everything I want."
"Dean..." He whispered.
"I'm so terrified of losing you. I feel like there's something around every corner that's going to come rip you away from me and make my world dark again."
"This will stop soon, right? I graduate in a couple months, then you won't be my teacher anymore. It should be fine, right?" Dean didn't respond for a second.
"I don't think so, Cas." He said, quietly.
Castiel pulled away at that. "What?"
Dean sighed. "Well, if anyone from the school finds out and starts an investigation, they'll definitely find something. If they can prove that anything happened before you graduated, it won't matter."
"I guess...I guess I hadn't thought of that." Castiel said, barely audible, crossing his arms and leaning against the island.
"Cas..." Dean said, lifting up his chin to look at him.
"Yeah?" Cas replied nervously under Dean's gaze.
"I want you to know that I knew all of this from square one. I know what could happen, and I know you feel guilty about it. I just..." He paused to collect his words. "I don't care about any of it. My job, staying here, none of it matters if...if it means I don't have you."
Cas was silent for a moment.
He furrowed his brow. "Really?"
Dean nodded. "Really. I love you."
"I love you." Cas replied. "I don't...I don't want you to feel like you have to give up on something you're passionate about just to be with me."
Dean shrugged. "It's not the same kind of passion as you have for music. I chose this career because it was manageable, it was something within reach and it gave me a way to support myself and Sam until he got on his feet. I didn't have that same kind of calling like you do. I do like it, but I like you a whole lot more." Dean smiled and bumped Cas with his shoulder.
Castiel wrapped his arms around the taller man and rested his head on his chest. "Still, I wouldn't want to jeopardize something you worked so hard for."
They were silent for a moment.
Castiel's stomach churned nervously as a thought he'd been having for a while rose to the surface of his mind.
"Dean?"
"Hm?"
He swallowed anxiously. "What happens when I leave for college? All of the schools I applied to are out of state."
Dean was not expecting that question. The thought had crossed his mind, but he considered it more of a 'cross that bridge when we get to it' sort of issue.
"Well, I don't know, Angel. Long distance, I suppose." He said matter of factly.
Cas looked up at him. "God, that would suck." He blurted out. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He quickly looked down.
Dean chuckled. "I agree. That would suck." He trailed off a bit, losing himself in thought.
"Maybe, maybe I just shouldn't go to college." Cas said softly, hiding his face in Dean's neck, almost like he knew what reaction was coming.
"Hey hey hey, no. Don't say that, college is important. Why wouldn't you go?" He asked, pushing Cas up to look at him.
Cas just shrugged. "Plenty of people have made it in music without school. If I stayed here, I could still be in the band. And I wouldn't have to leave you."
Dean's mouth settled into a line. "Angel, you said it yourself. You don't want to make me give up something I'm passionate about, so why are you turning around and doing the same thing?"
"I'm not, I'm just...you know. I'm just looking at all my options." Cas said quietly. He reached up to kiss Dean softly, his hands gently floating across his neck.
"Just..." Dean pulled away for a moment. "Promise me you won't make a decision based around me. I want you to choose what YOU want and what will make YOU happy."
Castiel nodded. "I promise, jeez." He let out a small laugh.