blame;
Tom
"What could a timid and shy, woman, like Elizabeth Kane possibly have to offer to us?"
Alecto Carrow; one of my followers questioned.
The words he carelessly scowled about her, were something I'd thought about Elizabeth for the entirety of my sixteen years of life. In the real world, individuals like her never exceeded the use of only a pawn; to be used and obstructed. As I dissected her life, I came to a realization of that. Easy to manipulate. Low self-esteem.
However, she was brandished into Slytherin for a reason. Underneath the insufferably thin, fragile woman, there was someone far more sinister. I admired that bit about her since I convey the same image to others around me as well. After all, I'd thought about her, we weren't so different.
She was going to change my future for the greater good, and she never knew it. I'd discovered something about herself that not even she knew.
"Are you questioning my intuition?" I asked him, shifting my tone authoritatively.
His stutter came into play, "My lord, No, I mean."
He was ridden with terror, and it gave me joy; watching him bumbling around his words as a fool would. His pain was my pleasure.
"Enough, let our lord speak." Spoke Antonin Dolohov, a boy I was much familiar with.
"Dolohov, I don't need the permission of a measly pest to speak," I spoke, abruptly sounding at my wit's end.
They nodded their heads in sync, all in agreement.
I spoke quick-paced, "Elizabeth will not be with us for long, I suppose if I'm incorrect. I need to see if it's true."
"If what's true?" Antonin asked, the hues of curiosity gleaming in his eye.
"You'll just have to wait and see," I replied coyly.
Elizabeth;
[trigger warning for SA.]
As detention came to an unusually sudden end, Tom had taken off before I could get a word in. I assume to consult with his friends as he always does.
I still had no clue how I felt about our new and sudden friendship. It was odd and uncalled for. Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't want it. I don't think I'd have the guts to discard his offer anyway.
though something about it felt disingenuous.
I was painfully exhausted, as my feet dragged on; I didn't know if I'd make it to my dorm. It felt as if I had a run for fifty miles on hot, burning cole. I came to imagine the hard and cracked floor transcending into burning and inflamed piles of cole, as ashy, white, smoke plowed through the cracks and lines.
I've found that I have a very active imagination, and I oftentimes find myself daydreaming. It makes me feel like a child again. Some days, all I can do is dream. It's how I cope. I imagine, imagine I'm anywhere else but here.
As I took long and strained steps, I heard a series of thuds behind me. Footsteps. As I snapped around to spot who was there, there stood no one.
I had an outlandish imagination, but I wasn't imagining this. Who was following me, and didn't want to be seen?
I decided I'd turn around and continue walking as if nothing had happened, and then I'd flip back around and catch them in the act.
As I did just that, I waited for the soft thuds of footsteps once more; but never once heard a solace of a sound. The room fell into a loud silence, and it scared me.
And then I was grabbed.
flashbacks struck my mind;
A boy with curly jet black hair laid on top of my body, pinning me down with his weight, his hands wrapped around my wrists with a bruising grip. I screamed, attempting to break free from his filth.
I was drowning in my own regrets and sorrows, why hadn't I done more to defend myself? I blame myself. I let it exceed to this point.
This experience will forever be a standing reminder that In the eyes of men, I will always be a disposable pawn, nothing more but a toy used to the expenses of their liking.
"Shut up. You're too uptight."
His words often loomed and lurked in my thoughts, forever being a haunting memoir of my own failure to protect myself as a woman.
Klausner Blacksmith, to me, will always be the boy who hurt me.
His touch was all over me, and I felt disgusting and violated. I was taken advantage of, and what I lost I will never be able to get back. I was stripped of my dignity.
-
"Elizabeth?" He held me in his arms, and I screamed so loud it echoed and groaned in the halls of every corridor.
I kicked around like a toddler, "No!"
He unleashed me from his touch, his eyes widened in shock and confusion. As I stumbled backward, almost tripping on my own feet like a drunken maniac; I realized that I was safe and sound in the presence of Abraxas Malfoy.
It wasn't a memory being un-physically relived, I was there again. it felt so real, his touch, his violence, and his violation. this wasn't the first time this has happened, it's happened many times before. I thought it had finally stopped since the last time, but it seems not. I can't tell if this is just my trauma coming back to haunt me, or if it's a warning.
"What did I do?" His blue eyes became sincere and apologetic, his brows furrowed in sadness and sincerity.
I swallowed thickly, a certain void of guilt in my chest. It ate at my soul that I'd made him think that he'd done something wrong.
He lengthens his arms out towards me, walking closer to me; and I recoiled in disgust. The dainty black curls of my head fall behind me.
and I did it again.
but I can't take the fault, I don't want anyone's touch to even brush against my skin. I feel like a porcelain doll, with gentle and fragile skin with cracks and lines etching all across my body.
He sighed, "What happened?"
His arms fell back at his sides, and his legs began to carry him backward until he decided he was far enough away from me.
"Nothing." I lied, biting the inside of my cheek.
Then a sudden look of realization hit his pale face, and his eyes flew up to mine. A twinge of uncertainty and confusion caught his eye.
"It's happened again, hasn't it?"
"Yes." I frowned, curling my lip in distaste.
"Okay." he nodded his head ever so slightly.
We dwelled in the silence that lived in the halls, mirthfully, only glaring down at the ground in shame. Both of us reveled in our guilt; Not daring to speak one word.
It was so quiet, you could almost hear every little thought running through his head of his, aloud.
Eventually, the loud void of silence was finally bound by the soft sound of his chirp voice. The entirety of the hall was engulfed in it, and it wasn't as comforting as I thought it would be.
"Listen," He began, "I was unfair to you. My emotions had the best of me. I knew you'd never do anything of the sort. Tom just seemed so sincere, and true. I didn't know what to believe."
Tom.
That's right. Arrogant, deceitful, cynical, sneering, wretched. How had I forgiven him so fast? Had he manipulated me and I never saw it?
He wasn't charming, he was just a liar.
I clenched my fists, remembering what Tom had done and how it had seemed to fly over my head so quickly. As if we were old friends and it was water under the bridge.
Should I really accept Tom's friendship?
"Elizabeth? You don't have to forgive me, but don't hate me." He inched closer to me.
Everyone knows that I am no good with apologies. That is, of course, giving, and receiving.
It's one of my many virtues, isn't it?
But, that's all in good fun. Thus, I'd love to be angry with Abraxas for far longer, yet I find myself not desiring to allow Tom Riddle another win. I cannot let him separate us, with his deceit and lies.
"No, I forgive you," I spoke, despite me being extremely unforgiving towards him. I struggled with my words, particularly the ones "I forgive you."
Tom;
I was strutting about the long and slim corridors with pride and glee. At one point, I was almost giddy.
Giddy because everything was falling right into its inevitable place.
"Abraxas?" I scowled at his name.
thud.
My body instantaneously jerked in the opposite direction of the muffled thud I'd heard, and I was more than intrigued.
curious.
I quietly stalked my way closer and closer to the banging, and in my thoughts, I pondered on the possibilities of the cause of the hacks against the wall.
"I—"
I took a step back, taking in the sight before me. I'd finally found the missing blonde; pinning none other than Elizabeth Kane against a wall.
I shook my head, my jaw clenched in disapproval.
repulsive.
were the rumors I spread about her not enough to keep them apart?
I clear my throat dramatically, finally garnering the blonde's wearing and thin attention as he kept an eye on the black-haired girl before him. She seemed distraught and shaken as if she were confused and didn't understand what was happening.
"Abraxas, I've been expecting you. Why haven't you come?" I put on display my most Cheshire smile, though feeling rather disregarded.
"Yes, I'm sorry." Abraxas stuttered, his face instantly transforming into one of dread. His body became stiff and shaken.
I hummed, whilst eyeing the befuddled blonde.
"Kane, come here. I think you may have taken my quill." I said plainly, watching her as she gave me a certain look of concern.
She is a smart girl, undoubtedly. She could tell that something was off. At least, to her expectations of what is normal.
"I haven't." she bit her lip.
"Just come here."
I wasn't asking anymore.
She frowned, before tentatively obeying my orders and cautiously stalking her way toward me. Each step she took was long and drawn out carefully. Once she reached me, she looked up at me with a frown. She batted her lashes, waiting for me to speak to her.
I narrowed my eyes, leaning forward to reach into her pockets. She recoiled backward, giving me the most frantic look.
I spoke attentively, "There must've been a mistake."
"Excuse me, Abraxas. I must go to the bathroom." Elizabeth nodded her head, parading her lover a tremulous smile.
before the blonde could respond, she'd vanished.
Elizabeth;
[trigger warning for abuse.]
I fell down to my knees and began to sob. After opening up to Abraxas about such a thing, look what he'd done to me. I wept into my hands, not caring or knowing if anyone was in the girl's bathroom with me.
I wiped the tears from my eyes with my wrist and felt around my pockets for something. I knew Tom had slipped me a note. I kept searching and quickly found a folded, dainty piece of lined paper. I frantically unfolded it; it was folded four times to fit in my small pocket.
it read, "Meet me in the great hall."
and on the other side, "perhaps you could introduce me to some of your friends."
meeting my friends? that's odd.
I was afraid of what his intentions with me were, but I was curious enough to follow his instructions. I pulled myself up out of pure adrenaline and braised cold water across my face.
And then I set off to find him. As I sped through the heaps of students to find Tom, my ears were muffled by the gossip and whispers of the many students around me. it was so loud, that I couldn't hear my own thoughts. As I passed them by, odd looks and laughter followed.
It was only then that I realized they were gossiping about me.
I felt the walls close in on me, as I tried to listen to every word being said about me. But the noise was too much, and I only ever caught a few words about me here and there.
"she slept with all the boys on the quidditch team."
"she really thinks she has a chance with Tom?"
"poor Elizabeth."
I'd heard enough, and I ran as fast as I could, a few stray tears rolling down my cheek. I kept running, glancing behind my back every few seconds. I felt like a deranged and paranoid loony.
Eventually, I hit a hard surface and I stumbled backward, falling to the ground. My hands fell behind me, crashing into the hard floor. I hissed in pain as the sting in my palms progressed.
"Are you always in a rush, or do you simply enjoy being insufferably clumsy?" He spat angrily.
I glanced up through thick lashes and spotted an angry Tom Riddle.
"No." I frowned.
I was embarrassed, how did I manage to crash into him without even realizing it?
His hand reached out towards me, a helping hand he offered. I paused to think for a moment, should I?
"Go on." He sneered.
Reluctantly, I obeyed, stretching out my arm to its full extent to reach him. He held my hand in his and kept it tightly. His touch inexplicably sent shivers down my spine, he was freezing cold. He paused for a slight moment, and something in his face clicked with clarity. And then he brought me up towards him with such force, that my body slung forwards; and I almost crashed into him.
I took a step back.
"what did Abraxas do to you?" He snatched my arm aggressively and pulled me in, so our faces were closer.
My eyes widened in bewilderment, "What? Let go of me." I tried to tug my arm away from him.
He shook his head with disagreement, narrowing his eyes sharply.
"Not here, okay?" I pleaded.
He nodded nonchalantly. He released me from his grip, and my body pulled away from him.
"Follow me," he said, swiftly turning around and speed-walking away from me.
"Wait!" I replied, soon chasing after him.
I followed him through the dim corridors in silence and struggled to keep up as he sped through faster each second. I didn't know where we were going, but we kept walking for what felt like hours. He was submerged in darkness as he turned a corner and I lost him.
"Tom?" I spoke softly.
He didn't say a word. I was yanked by my arm and slammed against a wall.
"You will tell no soul." His voice became serious. I nodded my head quickly in agreement.
His lips parted slightly, and it became silent. I bit the inside of my cheek, inspecting my surroundings. I was in a wide hallway, one direction there lead to thick stairs, the other; just darkness from which we came. I wondered if we would go up the stairs since there was nowhere else to go.
"Stand back," he informed me, and so I did.
He turned to face the wall, and I couldn't see what he was doing. I wondered what he could be doing, facing a wall?
For a moment, there was nothing but loud silence.
until my body recoiled in fear as a sudden rumble echoed the halls, and the wall began to deconstruct itself. I watched as the wall somehow constructed itself into a wide doorway, and inside was a homely little library. From what I could tell.
He went inside, and for a slight pause, I was unsure if I should follow. Eventually, my curiosity got the best of me and I followed through.
"Tom?" I called out to him, and it seemed as if he disappeared. I bit my lip, adjusting to my surroundings. There were heaps of books all around, and the atmosphere was rather cozy.
"Sit," he ordered.
His voice filling the room nearly gave me a heart attack as I snapped around to face him. I nodded my head, taking a seat on the warm couch next to the fireplace. He sat across from me.
"What is this place?" I questioned.
He shrugged nonchalantly, "I come here to be alone."
My eyes grazed across the room in amusement and curiosity. My eyes flew back to him, "Is it just a library?"
"It can be whatever you want it to be," he replied.
I furrowed my brows, and now I was even more confused. "Okay." I shrugged.
His hands meddled with the ring on his finger, as he glared down at it, "Tell me about Abraxas."
I had hoped he had forgotten about it.
I curled my lip, "He—"
His eyes narrowed sharply as they found mine, and his attention was now fully on me. I swallowed thickly.
"He just," I paused for a moment, "Has a temper."
He clenched his jaw, "Go on." he urged me.
I remained silent.
"You can trust me." he attempted to reassure me, but his voice was anything but comforting. I took a deep breath.
"I told him that I didn't want him to come near me, I just, I don't know. He lost his temper so fast." I glared down at the ground in shame.
"I know," he replied.
My eyes widened with disbelief, how did he know?
"Let me have a look," he said.
"what?" I blinked.
"I wanna see what he's done." he beckoned.
I nodded my head. As he stood up, as did I. We exchanged glances for a moment, and then I turned around so my back was facing him. I swallowed thickly, way out of my comfort zone. I felt his hands wander around my back, tracing along with my sweater.
He tossed my long black curls over my shoulder, "May I?" he asked me for permission.
I nodded my head once more, and then I felt him lift up my sweater from behind. I hadn't seen how bad it was, but it was sore. He didn't say a word. It worried me. And then his cold hands began to trace against my skin, I assume along the lines of my bruises.
Then, abruptly, he quickly pulled my sweater back down, and I turned to face him.
I bit my lip, "Well, how is it?"
He seemed alarmingly calm, which cooled my worries.
"Barely left a mark," he replied calmly, taking off before I could poise a word.
It was just the calm before the storm.
A/N: I apologize thoroughly for the trigger warnings in this chapter. I hope that I was able to get some of you to skip over the triggering parts if you weren't ready for that. However, it is relatively important to the storyline. I'd also like to mention, that this will likely be the first and last author note of this book since I don't particularly like them. Take care. ☆