trigger warning:
emotional instability & suicide
reader's discretion is advised.
if you ever start to feel uncomfortable, please do go ahead and close the oneshot.
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Named as the school's best ace, and the crowd-hating man and germophobe. It doesn't really bother me. I am what I am.
In this school, being a powerhouse and as one of the most well-known schools in Tokyo, there plenty students that are rich and quite famous, around and off campus.
Once you're a starter in a team, you get to be worshipped and adored by many spectators. In which I hate, unlike others, they really enjoy praise.
And in this school, the most famous student I know (as far as everyone's conversations go), is (L/n) (Y/n).
Gossips say that she's prettiest, and one of the smartest students in this school. The top scorer in my grade level. She's also a part of the student council.
And.. this is far from what I have expected.
I was walking to class to get something I left. I went straight to gym to practice, and coach only let me get my things now.
I was walking when I bumped into someone, and somrthing they must've been carrying shattered into pieces. I turn around to check.
"I'm sorry... I-I'm sorry..... I'm really sorry.. I-I.. I'm a failure.. I-I'm really sorry.. I-I will do better!" The famous girl cried. She's not even looking at me.
"H-Hey there's glass....." She kneeled and bowed, head down to the floor.
"I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry.. I-I never do anything right.. I'm a disappointment.. I-I-I'm sorry.." I tried to pull her up, seeing her arms cut with the shards she completely disregarded.
"It's fine, moreover are you okay?"
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to.. I-I'm sorry..! I.. didn't.. I'm a failure.." This isn't the kind of (Y/n) I had in mind.
"(L/n)-san--" Hirako-sensei. "Sakusa-san, hold on to her like that." She says, walking to go right behind the weeping girl. "You have to knock her out, she won't stop crying until you do something. A hug will only scare her off, she'll only bark at your sweet words, so don't mind me."
Before I could say anything, (L/n) fell to me, unconscious and hopefully, still breathing? She's still crying in her sleep though.
"Carry her to the infirmary for me, I'll take care of the mess. You get her treated." I nod, and carefully carry the girl to the said room.
Walking there and carrying her, she still cried and held my shirt in her fists. She looks so vulnerable, and scared like a toddler in a forest on its own. She's nothing like the gossips.
The school nurse treated her right away, and I stayed around to wait for Hirako-sensei. I randomly got dragged into this, and I don't know what to do but to just sit still.
I hold on to the edge of the bed as I pick something up off the floor, feeling her holding my hand tight. Really tight.
How the hell am I supposed to go home?
I message Komori that I'll be staying behind because Hirako-sensei told me to, and he seemed like he actually just forgot about me.
"Sakusa-san, what do you think just happened earlier?" This shit. "Why do you look like you just saw a ghost?"
"You really just went behind me...." Who wouldn't be shocked? "Uhm.. about earlier, I don't know. The real.. (L/n)-san, I suppose."
"Heh.. She's regarded as the prettiest, the best, the smartest, then bam. This is her." She's always smiling, and laughing with her friends. "Will you keep it a secret?" I nod.
"Did you know anything from the very start?" She shook her head, and sat across me.
"I was going to talk to her about something, and she accidentally knocked down my mug. She started crying like that. She just self-destructed, and her consciousness was engulfed in her thoughts and fears. I don't know anything yet, but she's.. that."
"Is her family well off?" She gestured a little and carefully pinched her cheek to wake her up. "Her family seems.. nice.. and happy."
"Those are only what you see, and not what's there to be seen." She whispers, and the girl slowly wakes up.
She's still holding my hand, and it felt like she didn't want me to go. Well, she didn't know who I am, so she is holding it still. But now, she let go.
"I'm sorry.. did it happen again?" She asks, wincing in pain and realizing she was hurt. "Sensei.. did I break anything again?" Hirako-sensei nods and she lets out a heavy sigh.
"Sakusa-san carried you here, and stayed until now, you, awake." I avoid eye contact to avoid any awkward interraction.
"Thank you, and sorry.. I know you hate germs, but I, shamelessly touched you. You can go now." She laid back down, and hid under the blankets.
I give sensei a look and she let me off, and she smiles at me. I take my bag, and head outside, looking over my shoulder to see if she went out the blanket.
I get whatever I left, and head home, my mind wandering off to the girl. She's the most famous, the smartest.. and she always smiled.
Remembering how she held my shirt and my hand, she's scared.. I look at my hand, and remember how tight she held it.
"I didn't even have a second to think of how dirty your hands might've been.."
I head home, and for some reason, I couldn't wash my hands without having to think about her. How could she ever be that down? I always find her joking around, with almost everyone.
But, how the fuck did I get dragged into this secret shit?
The next day, I went to school as usual, but nothing seemed to change for her. She's still the joyful (L/n) we all know. She was laughing with friends all day.
Hirako-sensei told me not to say anything so I'm being quiet. But, it bothers me to see her like this, like she doesn't have any problems at all.
She and I would exchange looks, and she'd smile at me and put her finger up to her lips, as if to say that I should shut my fucking mouth. Like I'd share that kind of information to everyone. I don't go telling others, I'm nothing like that.
I still can't forget how she looked last night. I was surprised enough with us bumping into each other. Her reaction was as more surprising though.
Seeing her in that state, it makes me wonder what had happened to her. Why she's like that, and whatever the hell is triggering her panic attack, if that was even a panic attack. It seemed worse.
"Sakusa-san?" I look at the door, and find her by the doorstep. "Sakusa-san, will you talk with me?" I reluctantly head to the door, and she smiles innocently.
"What do you want?"
"About last night..." What part of it? "You're going to keep it a secret, right?" I nod. "Promise?" What the hell? "Please... that thing about me is the last thing that I want people to know about me."
"I'm not the type to speak about other people's secrets, so don't worry. Plus, didn't you make me leave yesterday? Like you wanted nothing to do with me." I say, and she smiles apologetically.
"I'm just.. cautious.." She seems like she's scared of letting the world know. "You must've thought that I was insane, crazy or something.."
"No, I didn't." I was more worried and taken aback by whatever the hell happened, so I didn't think of anything else. "But..." She tilts her head a little, eyes telling me she was expecting for more. "Nothing, never mind. I promise, I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you." She smiled sweetly, but somehow, she's not happy. "I'll get going, I'll see you around."
I watch her walk away, her friends walking up to her. They're all teasing her about us now. This is why I limit my interactions with others. But, maybe she could be an exemption, it was sudden after all.
No matter how hard I tried, whenever I'd see her, I'd just think about what happened at that night. She was really frightened, and frozen at the spot. I think she frightened me too.
After the whole even of that night, she and I have been sort of connected. She comes and talks to me at times, we'd only talk about the most nonsense things. Normal things.
"Sakusa-san, what did you think of when you saw me like that?" She asks, stealing my Pocky from me. "I'm curious... I kind of.. you know, I just want to know what your thoughts were. To lighten up.."
"You're scary." She dropped the box of Pocky and her face immediately turned pale. "I meant—You scared me that night." She lets out a sigh in relief, and picks up the box, dusting it a little bit.
"I see.. sorry again..1didn't mean to drag you into the whole thing." I shake my head and wipe the box with a tissue before letting her eat. "Hirako-sensei suggested that I should have someone to talk to... like you, someone who knows about my condition."
"I don't mind." It doesn't really matter. She'll end up crying and panicking if I ignored her. "What triggers it though?"
"Loud thuds.. when I make a mistake. Like when I break things accidentally.. and sometimes the look in people's eyes. I struggle with not seeing how they feel..."
To think of it, she did self-destruct when she broke Hirako-sensei's mug. "I have training, let's talk later." I take her hands and wipe them with tissue, sparing her a glance before leaving.
I turn around when I felt her tug on my blazer. "W-Would you mind... if you come over to my place?" Ha. "I'll wait for you to finish.. I'm also staying behind to do a few things." She just invited me, didn't she?
She's begging so much with her eyes, "....fine."
I'm bringing myself more into a mess. Why am I even doing all of this for a girl I just met? This is insane.
I went to training, and everyone asked me how I knew her. I only stated the pretty obvious answers, like her being famous. I can't tell them about her.
My cousin's pestering me too. He found out that I'm coming over to (Y/n)'s house. I hope he won't think of anything weird and say that to my parents.
Training was normal, until (Y/n) showed up at the bleachers. The guys were fanboying, and the other female audiences too. She smiled at them, and turned to us, our eyes meeting. Her smile seems different when it comes to me.
She'd cheer me on, which I think... I will wake up tomorrow with many rumors crawling around every corner of the school. Why is she doing this?
I still don't know how to react to her voice. She keeps cheering me on, now the guys are asking me why she's doing it. Like hell I'd know why, she's doing it on her own accord. Why though..?
When training ended, I tried to hurry so that she and I could just leave. Everyone's going to suspect us of being something else than being friends.
"Why'd you come here?" She hung her head low, and twirled her hair with her fingers, her chest heaving like she just ran all the way here. "(L/n) (Y/n)."
"Are you mad... that I came..?" She's shaking. "I wanted to wait for you here.. was that a bad idea? I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." She looked up and I noticed that she was crying. "Sakusa-san..."
"I'm not mad. I'm just curious." She wipes her cheeks, and takes in sharp breaths. "Don't cry, everyone will think that I bullied you." She holds my hands and pouts her lips. "What is it?"
"Are you still coming over...?" I nod, and she takes a few deep breaths, and forces a smile. "Let's go then." She says, dragging me out of the gym.
I tried to let go of her hand, but she wouldn't let go. Some other students saw us, but she didn't give a damn. This girl is welcoming to so many things..
We went over to her house, and she was lucky, her mom isn't around. It's only me, and her. She's in the shower, and I'm in her room. Still thinking about why she dragged me here.
Komori's spamming me with messages about why she dragged me with her. I don't know either. But, if I complain, she'll most likely cry or panic again.
She comes in, her hair dripping wet with her towel hanging around her neck. "You want to wash up too?" No, I want you to dry your hair.
"Come here." She follows as I say, and sits in front of me. "Are you trying to get yourself sick? Why aren't you drying your hair?"
"A-Ahh sorry.. I have trouble with that." I help her with drying her hair, hearing her wince a few times when I would dry the back part. "I hit my head a few days ago, so I usually leave my hair wet..."
"How...?"
"Well, how we first spoke to each other......" That's.. just unlucky. "It's difficult, but thanks. I think my hair's okay now." She says, and I just realize now. Her face is so close. "Sakusa-san, are you okay? Your face is red." Shit.
"I'm fine, what made you think that I'm not?" I ask, and her eyes shifted to a different look. "I'm sorry, but yes, I really am fine."
"Sakusa-san.... do you mind?" Hmm? "Coming over and being my friend. I don't have a friend, if you know what I mean. If it's alright..." She looks like she wants me to.
Again, what am I putting myself into? "Alright." I can't say no, what the hell.
~~~
After spending some time with Sakusa-san, a lot of people are speaking of us nonstop. All of my friends are asking me how I got him to like me.
He and I are only friends. He's probably also forced into this, I kind of feel sorry. He and I hang out during lunch, and I eat with him and his cousin. Well, only when my friends won't steal me.
I look behind me as I felt a hand on my shoulder. "(Y/n)-chan, how did he like you?" I already answered their question, why do they keep asking?
"He and I are friends." We just share a secret that's why we started hanging out. "Sakusa-san and I are friends, period." I tell her, and she plays around with her lips. "What?"
"Are you sure? He acts really different when it comes to you." Again, we have a secret to keep. "Like he gets pissed off whenever someone talks ill about you." What..?
"He gets mad?" She nods, and shows me a video. Ahh, they filmed him. He got mad.. "He's probably only protecting himself, they were talking about him."
"Now that you say it... it does seem that way." It's beyond the possibilities. Him liking me.. I dragged him into my mess. "But still, he acts different as long as it concerns you."
"He... he's just being himself, probably hating the noise." I answer, seeing Sakusa-san with Komori-san out at the field. I can see them pretty clearly from here.
"He's hot though, you're lucky if ever he likes you." Everyone has a huge crush on him. "Look, he's with Komori-san. They're both so handsome."
I hear talks about them everyday, more now that I hang with him. He is handsome, I will admit, but sometimes he intimidates me. Like when he looks pissed, I panic.
The door suddenly makes a loud noise, making me nervous and my heart beat faster. My head's blurring.. I'm so scared right now. I look at the person beside me, and see their eyes raging with anger.
"Why does Sakusa Kiyoomi like you?" I take a deep breath, coughing when the air got stuck right at my throat. "Oi, stop acting like I've done something to you."
I try to speak, breathe, or even let out a cough, struggling as no air could pass through my mouth or my nose. I can't breathe. I hold on to the window, falling to the floor as I couldn't stand on my feet any further.
"I'm.... sorry... I-I'm sorry...."
"Ha? What are you sorry for? You're an annoying famous bitch. You act like you're the happy go lucky girl. I fucking hate you." Tears brimmed my eyes, and I struggled more, I can't breathe.
"Hey, that's enough. What has she ever done to you?" I try to look at my friend, and the other girl steps on my face.
"I hate trash like you." You're a worthless child. "Why are you even alive?" Why did I have a child like you? "I fucking hate you."
Someone suddenly comes from behind, pushing her foot off my face. "I believe that's enough, Mitsuha-san." Sakusa-san..? I lean my head on the wall, feeling someone carry me. "This will be reported as bullying, I hope you enjoy spending time cleaning every part of the school."
I hold on to their shirt, crying as I tried to breathe even a little bit of air. "I'm sorry... I-I'm sorry I'm a failure... I'm sorry I was born.... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...."
Everything went black. I guess it's better that I'm unconscious. I can breathe, and my mind is clearing up. Negative thoughts are running in my head, but I have to cut them off. I shouldn't continue thinking about them.
I wake up, feeling a bit lightheaded as I adjusted to my surroundings, looking over to my shoulder to find Sakusa-san sleeping. Why is his head on my shoulder...?
"(Y/n)." Hirako-sensei sits on the stool beside the bed, handing me a glass of water and a towel. "How are you feeling?" I smile and drink. I feel better. "Sakusa-san called for me before running for you."
"He ran?" She nods and points to the sleeping Sakusa-san on my shoulder. He looks so peaceful. "How did he.. see me? I was at the third floor and he was at the field."
"The windows to your classroom are huge enough for anyone to see what's going on." Now that we're talking about this... "Is there a problem?"
"D-Do-Does.. a-anyone know.. a-about my behavior?" My throat tightens the very moment I asked the question, dropping the glass in my hand and letting it fall to the floor.
I hold on to my throat, rubbing and scratching it in case I could breathe again. What did they think of me? A crazy woman? A maniac? A mentally ill... student.
I feel a pat on my head, and my throat loosens, air entering and circulating all over my body. "No one's thinking of you as the one in the wrong." Sakusa-san.. he's half-awake.
"D-Did I wake you up?" He shakes his head—liar, I totally did. "What are you doing here anyway?"
"Watching over you." He answers as he stretched his arms and yawned. "You panic very easily." I smile apologetically and he lightly knocks on my head. "The girl you were with... Jina. She said you started acting strange when the door slammed shut?"
"I told you, loud noises make me anxious." They sound like when I get slapped by my mom. "I'm sorry.. you're troubled with my problems."
"The promise you made me swear to keep, is what had me involved in your problems. Yours are mine now." I never thought he'd actually keep it. "And.." I raise my brows in curiosity, his face flushing red. "If you need help.. I'm here.. and Komori too."
I nod and smile. "I know, thank you Sakusa-san."
I didn't realize that Hirako-san was cleaning my mess again. I apologized but she didn't seemed to mind. It seems like she got used to it.
He helped me get my things from my classroom, giving me earphones and staying right with me in case anyone was around. There are plenty students though.
He completely cut off my interactions with everyone. He's surprisingly kind. If he was his kind to everyone, I wonder how many girls would confess to him? Thrice the number of girls he gets at the moment?
Wait, I made it sound like he's a playboy... when in reality, he hates girls. I guess I'm lucky that I'm on his good side. He can show that he cares.
I'm on the steps, waiting for Sakusa-san to come back. He said he's walking me home. "Here, drink this." Oh he's back. I take the chocolate milk and smile.
"Thank you." He takes it back and pokes the straw through the hole for me. "Uhm thanks again.." He pat my head and turned on his heel. "Where are you going again?"
"Gym, I'm going to excuse myself for today." He says, and I grab his foot, hugging his leg tight that made him fall, face first, and hit the ground. "(Y/n) what the hell?"
I let go of him, and watch him groan and.. I drop the chocolate milk, my throat tightens once again and my eyes brimmed with tears. He's mad... I made a mistake.
"I'm sorry.... I'm sorry..." You're an embarrassment! How could you do that?! "I'm sorry... I failed... I'm sorry for hurting you... I'm a failure.. I-I should've never been born.. I'm sorry.."
Just then, I feel a warm hand on my neck and soft plump lips on mine. My minds goes blank and returns back to normal, and I find Sakusa-san right in front of me.
"I'm fine." He says, his face a centimeter or less from my face. He wiped my cheeks, and I buried my face in his chest, crying more for some reason. "It's okay."
He's bleeding.. how is he okay? His forehead was bleeding.. "I'm sorry." I say, and he pats my head and my back gently. I look up, and reach for his forehead, bringing my hand back when I felt intimidated.
"What's wrong?" I bite my lip and wipe my cheeks.
"My hands.. are probably dirty.. Your wound might get infected by germs.." He held my hand carefully, and brought it to his forehead, directing my thumb to wipe the blood. "B-But.."
"I already kissed you. None of that matters to me, you're a good bacteria." Is that a compliment? And wait—kiss?! "It worked, you got distracted by the kiss."
He kissed me deliberately just to get me back to myself? "That was.. the meaning of the kiss?" He raised his brow, leaning in and catching me off guard by kissing me again. We're literally and possibly showcased to the whole school. "Sakusa-san..?"
"Yes, and also, I like you..." He says, eyes moving elsewhere at the mention of the last three words. "You can slap me if you want."
"That'll make me panic..." He looks at me and stares at me with a blank face, suddenly bursting into laughter. He never laughed. "Cute.." I whisper, and he smiles at me.
"Do you mind if I court you? You're in clean hands, (Y/n)."
~~~
Ah fuck. I totally got myself embarrassed there. How could she just grab my foot and hug my leg?! Moreover, why did it seem like she didn't ever want to let go?
But most of all, Sakusa Kiyoomi you are insane for kissing her like that. Then kissed her again when she asked you the question—fucking hell.
We're at her place right now, and her mom's around. She seemed to have a good relationship with her mom, but something's bugging me. But, do I have the right to know?
"(Y/n), is it okay if I ask?" She nods and hands me a glass of coke. "Why are you.. uhm.. Why does it seem weird to me?"
"What's weird?"
"You're relationship with your mother." Her eyes seemed like they lost their light, her face turning extremely pale. "Don't answer if you can't."
"I-I will..." I shake my head and she suddenly grabs my hand. "Lend.. m-me your hand.." She held it tightly—extremely tight, almost crushing my hand.
(Y/n) went on and on about herself, about why her relationship seemed a bit odd with her mother. It's her mentality, and perspective of things. The way she perceives everything.
She has a grudge. I can't blame her. She told me a lot about herself, and I guess, it was almost everything. I can't believe she just spilled everything like that.
"I'm sorry.. for crushing your hand.." I shake my head and massage my hand a little. "But yeah, that's about it."
"(Y/n), do you hold a grudge against me?" She looks at me with widened eyes, and I just wait for her answer. "If you do, tell me so I could apologize and make up for my mistake."
"You've done nothing, Saku-chan." I suddenly choke on my own saliva. "Are you okay?"
"What's with Saku-chan?????" I ask, and she tilts her head to the side a little. "Sakusa, Saku, Kiyoomi, Omi, Kiyoo, anything. The suffix -san is okay, but not chan please or -kun." She pouts and I bite my lip, why is she begging me to allow her?
"Then... Kiyoomi?" She mumbles, loud enough for me to hear. Her cheeks are tinted pink, that's cute. "Why not Saku-chan? It's cute!"
"Does this face look like cute to you?" I ask as I point to my face. "Does this look like a cute face?" I ask, and she hums and nods her head. "Just call me Kiyoomi."
"I already did." She smiles, and pinches my cheeks. "Kiyoomi.." Why does it feel like everything changed? "What did you plan on doing when you asked me out?"
That's... Something I have never thought of yet. I don't know. I guess.. "Go on.. dates...?" She suddenly bursts in laughter and nods.
"Let's go on dates."
~~~
He was actually serious about it. I was only kidding at that time. But today, he really took me out on a date. We're just casually going around, eating everything we could see.
He's doing a great job as a boyfriend, or is he a boyfriend..? He did say he's going to court me first, which I really think is cute and kind of him. I like seeing this side of him.
"(Y/n), get down from there." He lifts me off The railings, putting me back down on level ground. "Here."
"Oh, where'd you get ice cream?" He puts the ice cream cone to my face, and I take it from him. "Hey, where's yours?" He bends over and licks the ice cream, licking his lips clean before kissing my forehead.
"We're sharing." He takes my hand and we stand by the railings, the saltiness of the sea is filling my nose. "Do you have anything you want to do?" I shake my head, and put the ice cream up to his mouth to give him some.
"I'm fine as long as I spend today with you." I smile, and his cheeks flushed pink. "By the way, Komori-san.... told me something." He hums in response, and wipes the corner of my lips with his thumb. "Are you leaving..?"
"I told him to shut up before I tell you.." He's pissed. "I'm still in Tokyo, so I can come meet you. I'll try to meet with you." He is leaving. "Why? You don't want me to go?"
"No it's just... I feel anxious about being alone." It's gonna feel weird if he's not around. "You've been with me for a while, and I somehow always have you and Komori-san with me, so I just... I am a bit afraid."
He pinched my cheek gently and smiled. "I'll call." But he'll be available most of the time.
We stayed at the place, and just watched the seagulls do whatever they wanted. I can also see the fish, and some other things in the water.
He's right behind me, arms around my waist and chin on my shoulder. Why did he fall in love with me? I honestly thought he'd discard me after he found out.
"Kiyoomi.... I'm going to tell you something, and it's been my secret for the longest time.." He kissed my cheek and hummed. "Please don't get mad.."
He broke away from me, and leaned on the railings, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me closer to him. He brushed my hair away from my face, and kissed my forehead.
I think he should know. "I've always... wanted.. to die.." I mumble the last part, assuming that he didn't hear the last part. "I mean uhm.."
He pulled me closer, and cupped my cheek, making me look at him directly in the eye. He pressed a kiss on my lips, pulling me closer until I was against him. His lips are shaking, he.. is shaking.
"I love you. Don't die on me." He whispers, his eyes wet with tears daring to fall. "Please don't.. do anything while I'm gone.."
He rested his forehead on my shoulder, hugging me tightly. He loves me.. "I do to, Kiyoomi. I won't."
~~~
I left for training, for the All-Youth Camp. I call her every night, and talk to her until either one of us falls asleep. She always speaks about how she's scared, first above all else.
While I was away, I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. It was all too sudden. I didn't even expect her to say that.. though I did think before that she must've had thoughts mike that.
One week was pretty hellish, I don't like leaving. I went straight to her place after the camp ended. I wanted to check if she was still alive or not.
I must've been an idiot, I was on the phone with her on the way there. "Kiyoomi-kun." Shit, it's her mother.
"H-Hello, I'm here for (Y/n)... uhm.. sorry for the intrusion." But, I feel like she wouldn't let me in.
"She's in her room, I'll be heading out. Can you watch over her while I'm gone?" I nod and she smiled. "I'll be going then." I step aside to let her out.
I head upstairs, and find her curled up into a ball. She lets out a gasp, and runs up to me, jumping and wrapping her arms around my neck.
"I missed you." I smile and kiss the side of her head, putting her down only to see a bright smile on her face. "Do you have chocolates?"
"In my bag." She takes my bag off me and heads to her bed, putting everything out. "My laundry..." She smiled innocently, and ate the chocolates.
"Kiyoomi, I was wondering.... have you had any sexual desire at all?" What the fuck. "I mean, you're always clingy with me, and you rarely.. want to make out or something."
"(Y/n)... why are you asking this?"
"Nothing.. just wondering." How can she just wonder about it? "Or maybe it was only me.." What the actual heck. I flick her forehead and she lets out a whine. "What was that for?"
"A punishment for having dirty thoughts." I tell her, covering my face with my hand to hide my embarrassment. "I just got here and you welcome me with that kind of topic."
She gets off the bed, and pulls me with her, falling on her back for me to fall over her. Before I could speak, she pressed her lips on mine, and wrapped her arms around my neck as if to put me in place.
"(Y/n), what are you doing?" She shuts me up with her lips, and slips her tongue in my mouth. I played along so I wouldn't accidentally bite her tongue. "(Y/n)."
"I just love you, Kiyoomi." We're not even together yet. "Listen to my request.. please.."
As the odd as it may have been, it was her request. She kept pestering me about it, teasing and making jokes that put me at my limit. In the end, everything went the way she wanted it to go.
I also accidentally ended up sleeping at her place. When I woke up, she was sleeping peacefully beside me. I watched her, not minding whatever time it was until I realized that I was late for school.
(Y/n) said she's sick, and something's bugging her so she said she wouldn't come to school. I was hesitant at first, but I let her be. Not even her mom was able to convince her.
I went to school, spoke to her on the phone during lunch. "Hey Kiyoomi, do you love me?" Here we go again.
"I do.. I love you, (Y/n)." I was about to ask another question when the bell rang. "Hey.. I have to go, wait for me at home? Your house I mean."
"Okay, I love you. Goodbye~!" She yelled to the phone, giggling as she ended the call.
I attended class, and did whatever the heck I had to do. My chest's been feeling really heavy, and I thought that maybe it's because of the cold. But, it's not that.
Komori did whatever, and asked me why I was late. I can't tell him what she and I did last night, that would be the biggest secret.. aside from the one she and I have to keep.
I look at my wallpaper, and tell myself that I should've just begged her to come to school. I have our photo as a wallpaper, and I can't rest easy while she's not around.
The moment the bell rang for the dismissal of classes, I excused myself from the team to head to her place. Seeing her mom crying at the doorstep, policemen around the place.
"Kiyoomi-kun...." She ran up to me and cried. "W-What should I do..? S-She.. She's..." My heart pounded once. "What will I tell her father..?"
The police showed me a photograph, and my tears came out of nowhere, and rolled down continuously. She killed herself... she jumped off the bridge...
"There are a few things that was left, but this." The man hands me a notebook, and I couldn't open it. "It's addressed to you." He pat me on the back, and left with Mrs. (L/n).
"I shouldn't... have gone to camp...." She said she wouldn't leave.. and yet.. why? "I'm sorry..."
————
We just got off the plane, got our luggage, and now, we're surrounded by news reporters and journalists and fans. It's a pain to have a huge crowd welcome us.
One of them bumped into me, and I bit my lip until it bled for me not to wander off. The girl apologizes and runs off. She's..
"Sakusa-san! Please answer this question! Everyone's been curious about the girl you post on Instagram, and Twitter. Who is she? Is she your fiancée? Wife? Girlfriend?"
"Well, yes..." When it comes to questions about her, my mouth finds its way to open on its own.
"Why have we never seen you out on a date together? Or why have you not gone out together?" My heart immediately started besting faster, and it seemed hotter for me in this place. "Where is this lovely lady?"
If she was here, I would've asked her to marry me.. I would've taken better care of her. I wouldn't have ever left.. if I knew she had chosen death. Now, I'm full of regret.
"She's resting..... peacefully." I'm sorry, Kiyoomi. I love you, and I'm sorry. "My girlfriend's taking a rest.."
I should've dragged her to school, or stayed with her, or never left for camp. I never..
"How could you ever leave me..?"
Hi lo, anyway this came in late because my phone wouldn't cooperate. aaaaaaa tried my best lmao i was debating about killing (y/n) or not lol. anyway, i hope you enjoyed this! i love you all and kenmaaaaa is next! good mornight!