________________________
..
" remember that
it was you who
taught us how
to shine bright "
..
_________________________
i don't know if this can
even be considered a
fluff more than an
angst but it can be
both i don't care
suffer. :D
and if you know this
anime then well,
suffer more.
;D
_______________________
..
..
,, - ♧
music carries beautiful messages in them, if you know how to properly listen to them. the beautiful shine from the piano keys were the only things you could remember before the lights when out; and as the curtains drew from their positions, the melody started.
memory after memory; key after key, black key to white key. the fast finger movements on the soft keys, pinky to the left and thumb to the right. as sweet as sugar the melody was, and the sweat that trickled down his forehead was noticed by the boy standing right next to him.
his green hair shone under the dim stage lights when he pulled his flute up to his lips. the drums they sounded, and the bass and electrical guitar started up the moment the drums did. as the beautiful instruments played their part, the soft voice that once belonged to you sang for the crowd to hear.
it was just the six of you.
xiao. bennett. childe. chongyun. you. xingqiu.
the drums provided you the beats to sing to, and the flute from xiao gave you the pitch while the guitars from both childe and chongyun enhanced your melody. xingqiu smiled when he finally reached the pause of his music sheet, allowing you to reach the final note of the song. just like that, the whole performance came to the climax and down the slope to the ending, with bennett hitting the drums and cymbals; xiao focusing his breath on his woodwind.
you held your stomach as you worked up the final note, and you did. chongyun and childe worked you up all throughout the song, and finally, you ended the beautiful song with a high note along with xiao's flute and xingqiu's beautiful harmonies of notes.
and just like that, the auditorium lit up in bright lights as crowds cheered and screamed. families and friends alike; everyone was there to witness this beautiful group of talented musicians. you held xiao's hand and xingqiu's as they came up beside you along with childe, chongyun and bennett. the six of you took your bows, and the curtains fell.
..
( ten years later )
"xiaaaao, honey, have you seen my books?" ganyu called from the study room as she looked around old boxes. she had been on a reading streak lately, but got immersed in working that she forgot about her reading hobby and put away her books. she assumed her husband had packed them away.
xiao, who was reading in the room next to the study, shook his head to himself. "no, i haven't. i don't touch your books." he yelled to her.
ganyu sighed and fumbled through the boxes more. she picked herself up and stood on the chairs to reach the top shelf. she was far too short to reach the top, so she tipped her feet slightly, but the chair wobbled.
unable to grab onto anything, the chair gave in and she fell straight down, pulling down whatever boxes and old files that were on the shelf. she landed with a loud thud along with the immense loudness of the landing of books, boxes, files, and chair.
xiao, having heard the commotion, immediately came running into the room. he slammed the door opened and looked at ganyu, who was slightly in tears because of the harsh fall.
xiao flew to her and held her aching body as he slightly made her sit up. "hey hey, are you okay? did you break anything?"
"n-no.. the shelves aren't broke-"
"i meant you, dumbass," he said quietly as he planted a kiss on the top of her head, stroking her head. he knew how clumsy ganyu was, but he never expected her to actually hurt herself this badly.
"i didn't..." she said with a grunt as she moved her body. she managed to sit up without much effort, and was relieved to have escaped with just a slight bruise on her waist. "ahhh.. i should be more careful..."
"you should, especially when you're pregnant next time, alright?" he said sternly, with hints of softness. he was just about to help her up when something shiny caught his eyes. he turned his head and saw a shiny tube beneath the box.
"what is it?" ganyu asked, staring at whatever he was staring at.
xiao pushed the box away and his eyes widened slightly. while his eyes scanned his old white flute from back in the days, memories of his high school life with all his old friends and his band started to flood back to him. it was all too emotional, and he couldn't help but choke back a tear.
he quickly picked up the flute and tossed it away; slightly in anger and in sadness. he turned to his wife and then carried her up in his arms. "never mind, let's just get you to bed."
xiao didn't want to think of anything anymore; not after seeing his old flute. he wanted to forget, and he swore he would. he just wanted to get his wife back to bed, kiss her goodnight, and read away the lost sorrows. besides, he had somewhere to be tomorrow anyway.
..
"i swear, if they don't start adjusting movies in this stupid app i'm going to scream,"
"oh don't get so worked up yun yun, its just a movie."
chongyun, in anger, threw his pillow towards the wall as he huffed. he sat crossed-legged on the bed as he folded his arms at the tablet in front of him while xingqiu laid on his shoulder next to him, reading his book.
"i just wanna watch the new genshin impact episode, is that too much to ask." he grumbled, lying back down onto the headstand of the bed while xingqiu laughed and kissed his husband on the cheek.
"i'll go check on the wifi dear," xingqiu said and slipped out of the bed while chongyun resumed his quiet tantrums by furiously trying to watch his favourite movie or drama, or whatever it was he wanted. xingqiu never quite understood his husband's love for these things, especially after he left for university a few years back.
xingqiu stepped into the living room after sliding down the banister and met eyes with his old grand piano seated in the middle of the room, along with chongyun's old electric guitar lying against the wall.
maybe it was the time of the night, but suddenly seeing the piano and the guitar in the dark like this brought back a certain memory of him being on stage again; just waiting for the curtains to rise.
feeling sentimental, xingqiu slipped over to his old piano and slowly touched the old chic back instrument. his fingers ran along the dusty surface and he opened up the piano cover, revealing the once shiny and beautiful keys.
xingqiu sat down, trying to feel his fingers through the keys once again. his fingers were different now; much older than they were ten years ago. he pressed a key, and a note came out; still as fresh and youthful, just like he was. he started to press a few more keys, trying to familiarise himself with the one song he always knew how to play.
his fingers shivered on top of the piano keys as he took a look towards you. you were breathing in and out, trying to calm your nerves so you won't sing any wrong lyrics or notes or pitch. xingqiu saw how you were trying to calm down, and so he did the same thing you did too.
he inhaled; and he exhaled. he cracked his knuckles and once again placed them on the keys. after the agonising wait, the curtains drew up, and the light blinded him for a split second. the applause and cheers from the audiences was what made him confident, and with a burst of smiles and happiness, he started to play.
note after note; black key to white key; his fingers dances gracefully on the piano, allowing himself to be one with the music. there were no such things as a purpose mistake, for if that were the case, he wouldn't have made this song. and with the accompaniment of xiao's flute, childe and chongyun's electric guitars, bennett's drums and your singing, he was confident enough to not feel scared.
it was beautiful.
the melody was beautiful, and xingqiu remembered every single note as if it was just yesterday that he had created this song. he was so immersed into playing that he hadn't even noticed his husband plugging in his guitar and starting to strum away as well, singing along to the song that you used to be the one singing.
xingqiu finally noticed an accompaniment, and turned his head to see his husband playing the guitar right next to him. with a smile, they played the whole song up until the end; just the two of them, missing out the beats of drums, the second electric guitar, the soft flute, and most importantly; the voice.
they sank into the feeling of music for a while more before they ended up cuddling in bed. xingqiu had started crying in chongyun's arms, and chongyun had to coo him slightly, telling him that everything was alright. they fell asleep together in each others' arms, knowing that they had to wake up early to head somewhere tomorrow.
..
bennett hit the drum pads as well as the cymbals, nodding his head along to the beat in the studio. his friend razor had accompanied him to his studio to hear him play some beats on his drums set, and needless to say, razor was impressed.
"well, i have to say old pal, even if you didn't end up getting married, you did pretty well for yourself after high school," razor said, leaning against the wall. bennett chuckled shyly, placing his drumsticks away in the case before getting off his stool.
bennett started out as a small drum player, but he ended up doing so well with his skill that he started a whole record studio for himself, selling drum kits and other fun percussion instruments. the walls showcased his excellent awards and certificates, making him the proud man he was today.
"i have to say, of all the things i expected you to be, this wasn't one of them," razor said as he brushed his finger over the records in the small shelf box. bennett chuckled and sorted a few old boxes into the storeroom.
"well what were the things you expected?" bennett asked, loud enough for his old classmate to hear.
"uhhh... a dropout.. a clerk... an accountant.. a cleaner.. a screw-up... a-"
"okay okay i've heard enough," bennett chuckled as he returned from the storeroom, brushing his hands from dust. "i know i was a failure back in school but no need to be so harsh, and hey look, i succeeded unlike what the teachers expected. hmp, even now i see some of them enter my studio and tell me that they were sorry they doubted me."
razor laughed. "oh wow, even mr. zhongli?"
"the teacher childe was in love with? damn right." bennett answered, and it made razor laugh even more. razor had never expected bennett to succeed and change so much in life, in fact, he and bennett were failures together, but they ended up succeeding in the end in their own way.
bennett and razor sat over at the small marble table as he brought some cookies and tea for him. razor thanked him and took a bite of the sugar cookies. "hey so, it might still not be the time to ask but..."
bennett nodded his head as he sipped his tea. "hmm?"
"weren't you.. in a band?"
bennett stopped drinking from his cup and looked up at razor. razor then retorted slightly, shaking his hand dismissively.
"i'm sorry i- i shouldn't have asked. it probably still hurts you and-"
"don't." bennett said, looking down into his cup of tea, seeing the ripples. razor sighed and nodded his head.
"alright, but can you at least tell me that you're fine?"
"as in what, lie?"
razor sighed again. "benny, its been ten years, surely you could have gotten over whatever it was."
"just because time has changed me, doesn't mean it changed my heart or memory," bennett replied, drawing circles on the table slightly. "and besides, they were my best friends. we were together all the time."
"no calls? no texts? not even a hello anymore? what best friends are you guys, exactly?"
bennett somewhat slammed his hands on the table, but it wasn't very rough or loud. razor flinched when bennett looked dead into his eyes. "seriously, you won't understand. so don't just assume us like that; they are good people, you know that."
"you mean like... y/n?"
bennett fell silent for a while.
after a long and awkward pause, bennett sighed, picked up his cup and started drinking his tea again. he stopped and sighed again. "don't mention her."
razor nodded. "alright. and hey, i wanted to catch up on old stuff, so you fancy meeting up tomorrow?"
"ah, i'm going somewhere tomorrow, so maybe in the evening, if you're free."
..
childe placed the soft bouquet of flowers on top of the stone slab. he hummed in silence when he bent down to crouch in front of the gravestone right in front of him. he closed his eyes; clasped his hands together and silently gave a prayer. "i hope you're finally in peace."
"i'll say she's always going to be in peace after the stunt she pulled,"
childe turned his head around to the familiar voice of bennett. childe smiled to see bennett, xiao, xingqiu and chongyun walking towards him, each one of them carrying a big bouquet of flowers of different kinds.
"you guys are late," childe chuckled weakly, tears brimming in the corners of his eyes slightly. "she never liked us being late remember."
"we're actually early," xingqiu said flatly. "it was 8:08 exactly when she left, and it's 8:07 right now," he said, pointing to his watch. chongyun patted his husband's shoulder as he knew how much your death had affected him. it had affected them all a lot, but it affected xingqiu the most; mostly because he used to date you back then.
the four of them placed the flowers on top of your grave, before sending you a silent prayer once again. it was then, xingqiu broke down. chongyun and childe had to calm him down while xiao refused to speak to anyone. childe and bennett just stared at each other, giving each other knowing old looks. they ended up exchanging a hug.
"i miss you bro," childe said, hugging his old friend tightly.
"i miss you too..."
bennett could never tell razor this, and neither could he tell anyone about it; hell the five of them could never tell anyone their story, since nobody would believe it. just because of what you wrote before you died, they refused to ever meet up, call, or text each other again; only for today, the anniversary of your death, were they allowed to meet up.
xingqiu and xiao focused on the same thing ever since you died, and that was to keep their loved one safe. they had lost their singer, their sun, their world to something as pathetic as suicide. they couldn't believe it when they saw how devastated you were after you lost your voice and hearing in a car accident once. after that, you were never quite the same.
the nurses and doctors weren't able to stop you from running towards the roof; the five of them weren't able to catch you before you leapt off. they cried for days; weeks; months; years. they could never find peace after you left. the storm after you came everyday; the storm after you haunted them every night; every morning.
you had written them a letter, telling them to never meet up again; as you knew they would fight with each other; argue about whos fault it was, and since you didn't want to see that happening to them, you tried to tell them in the best way you knew how.
they didn't blame you for taking your life, but they were angry you did; they were sad you did. having not being able to hear; not being able to speak; the world is so much more scarier without those abilities. you hated it. you would rather die than to live with disabilities like those. so you did what you could to end your own suffering.
"but what about us y/n! what about us!" xingqiu cried at the top of his lungs on the roof, dropping to his knees as chongyun flew to him, trying his best to calm him down while he was freaking out himself.
xiao had demons and dark clouds of horror all around his line of sight, while bennett and childe fell to their knees in anguish as well. they were all speechless. they were all on the roof that stormy morning, and when the news finally hit everyone, nobody spoke of it again.
they said their goodbyes to each other before giving each other last hugs.
"so, see you guys next year?" childe asked.
xingqiu wiped his tears. "yeah... i guess..."
"i really missed the memories," xiao said, shocking everyone, as he would usually not speak. "i know we're going to break her promise today but.. can we return back to the auditorium again? one last time; for one final, final performance."
..
fingers on the keys; hands on the strings; the music was the most soothing thing to them. the microphone stand stood tall and proud in the middle of the stage, allowing a place for a single soul to stand where she belonged.
even if they couldn't see; even if they weren't aware, you were there. you were singing the notes and lyrics to the song you had made for them; you were able to hear, you were able to sing, the only punishment was that you weren't able to touch or hug them, and they couldn't see you.
you enjoyed the smiles of xingqiu and chongyun as they happily played their instruments; you cheered for bennett, xiao and childe when they managed their hardest notes that they once could never master. you went towards all of them, giving them a hug of warmth that they could somewhat feel.
just like ten years ago; the same song, the same melody, the same people; just missing one fallen angel.
you were their light, you showed them how to live; and now, they would be living in your name, forever keeping you dear and close to your heart.
you belonged in their heart,
and they belonged in yours. ♡
..
____________________________
i'm not sorry for this.
but to those of you who
want to ever end your
lives, please don't do it.
it is never worth it, and
there will never be a valid
reason to ever end your
life. don't be like y/n, you
are not a y/n, you are a
beautiful soul just waiting
to show itself, so please
wait a little longer for your
change to shine and bright
through the world. don't
you dare see yourself as
nothing more than a speck
of dust; you, are much more
than that. you are worth much
more than that. ♡ so please,
take care; believe, and always
remember to love yourself. ♡
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