I watched as the tail lights to his car disappeared over the small knoll of the road, as I finally gave in closing the door. I turned around, my back pressed up against the cool hardwood covering my face with my hands. I felt like everything that happened in the last two hours or so was the biggest dream ever, and I was hoping that I wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. The connection that I felt to Austin after such a short period of time would, in normal circumstances, be deemed as psychotic. Call it so, but there was something about him that made me feel strangely comfortable around him.
The kiss that we shared wasn't a kiss of a man who wants to have his way with me and then forget that I even existed, no this felt different. It felt like I knew him forever, something inside of me reigniting as soon as my lips touched with his. I laughed at myself as the thoughts started floating through my head, trying to convince myself that I was thinking too far into things. Sure he said that he wanted to see me again, sure he gave me his number but now the ball was in his court. He did leave saying that he was going to be busy the next week or so, chances were high that he would forget our perfect night together even happened, but every time I thought back to that kiss something told me that I was being far too negative for my current situation.
I brought myself back to reality after the quick stop I made in my over analytical world, looking back over my shoulder to make sure that the door was locked before flipping the switch to extinguish the light on the porch. I looked at my phone to see that it was only 10, still early for a normal person my age, but late for me to have anyone over. I can see it now, Mr. and Mrs. Paulson calling tomorrow to make sure that I was okay, and that the strange man walking out of my house last night was indeed a welcomed guest. I smiled to myself walking back into the kitchen, turning on the Keurig to brew myself some hot water.
It never failed that every night before going to sleep I needed to sit with a steaming hot cup of loose leaf tea and get lost in some kind of movie before I even felt like I was remotely close enough to go upstairs and fall asleep. I rummaged through the cabinets to find my tea, placing the leaves in the strainer as I sat it in the cup putting the now combined items underneath the spout waiting for the water to pour over them releasing the beautiful aroma throughout the kitchen. Realizing I needed to get out of my clothes, I walked upstairs grabbing a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt out of my drawer sliding into them quickly before making my way back downstairs.
I grabbed the cup from under the Keurig, putting just a small amount of sugar in it as I walked into the living room, smiling like a fool as I sank myself into the couch that Austin and I shared some rather intimate moments on just minutes before. I skipped over my normal spot and sat where he did, the faint sent of his cologne clinging to the fabric as I closed my eyes being comforted by it. I grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch throwing it over myself, balancing my tea on the armrest as I reached out to grab for the remote on the table. I started aimlessly flipping through the channels when a movie caught my attention. I flicked off the light that was shining brightly next to me on the end table as I settled in to a movie that seemed to already be half way over.
Although the movie was attention grabbing, try as hard as I could, I could not stay focused long enough, the sound becoming white noise as my mind kept thinking about everything that happened between the two of us tonight. It all happened so fast that I was afraid I was missing a key part of everything, like the part where he came off as wanting something more instead of being the kind gentlemen that he was. I mean come on, most guys in their early twenties only want one thing and won't stop until they get it, but not him. He deserved a first place trophy for stopping himself and walking away before the situation got any deeper. And to think, it was me who wanted it to go there! I am never like that anymore, hell I haven't even hooked up with anyone since Liam was born and that was three years ago. Yet, here I wanted Austin to whisk me up the stairs in his strong arms, to lay me softly on the bed and feel his gentle kisses on every inch of my soft skin as he had his way with me.
I let out a sigh as I got up off the couch, carefully folding the buffalo plaid blanket and placing it over the back before fixing the pillows, pausing momentarily as his intoxicating scent floated up to me. I grabbed the remote off of the coffee table flicking off the TV as I headed towards the stairs. I don't know why I was even trying to go to sleep, knowing that I would be laying there for hours before I finally got tired of staring at my ceiling, my eyes being forced to surrender only to be woken up a few hours later unrested but none the less having to face the day with my well rested three year old.
I shuffled into my room, throwing the many decorative pillows onto the floor before pulling back the covers and sliding carefully between them. I reached out grabbing my phone off of the nightstand plugging it into the long black cord when I suddenly had the urge to call him, just to hear his voice wondering if just another precious few minutes would be the exact medicine I would need to drift off to sleep. My internal voice suddenly woke up from out of nowhere as she was trying to express to me how desperate that seemed. I needed to wait this out and if he was really interested in me as he seemed tonight then he would contact me. For once I agreed with the tiny little existence in my head as I let out a sigh placing the phone on the nightstand.
I closed my eyes almost begging for sleep to come, hoping that maybe having a dream of him would be enough to settle the aching need that was rapidly growing inside of me, all the while chuckling to myself that I had just met him less than 48 hours ago and I was already wrapped up in him far more than I should be. I was surprised as I laid there with my eyes closed praying for sleep to float me off to my dream existence when a soft buzz made my eyelids spring open. I reached my hand out, grabbing my phone off the nightstand as I saw a text from a number not added to my phone, my heart instantly racing as my mind told me it could only be one person.
hey lil miss, i'm sorry i know it's late but i just wanted to tell you that i hope you sleep well and that you have a good night.
I felt a ridiculous smile spread across my face as I read his message to me. I instantly felt in a flirtatious mood as I quickly typed out a response to him, hoping that I didn't come across too desperate.
it's okay, that was really sweet of you.
what can i say, i can't get you off my mind lil miss your all i've been thinking about since i left.
I felt my cheeks start to burn feeling embarrassed knowing that they were fifty shades of red not even knowing why I cared since he was miles away from me. The butterflies slowly waking up in my stomach as their wings began to flap rapidly. I lightly palmed myself on the forehead wondering how he could make me feel like this without even being in the same room as me. With a smile that felt like it was three miles wide I started typing out my response.
i'm glad you can't see me because i'm blushing.
something tells me that you look so cute right now 😏
He left me speechless yet again as I took a minute to contemplate my response to him, my head trying to formulate the perfect yet flirtatious response back to the words that seemed to come so easily to him, but ending up failing miserably.
i don't know about that
well i do lil miss so no arguing. and, as much as i love talking with you i think you need to get some rest lil miss. i promise to talk to you tomorrow, okay?
I felt my heart slightly breaking, not wanting this conversation to end but knowing that he was probably right and it probably should. I let out a sigh running my hand quickly over my face before answering him.
okay austin. i hope you have a good night and sweet dreams.
if they have you anywhere in them, they will be. good night lil miss.
It felt like my heart was doing backflips, the control that he had over my emotions so early on should be something that scared me, should've been something that made me feel skeptical about everything but on the contrary it felt so right. I put my phone back on the nightstand next to me, rolling over on my side sliding my hand underneath the pillow as I slowly started to drift off to sleep, dreams of our amazing encounter dragging me to the depths of my perfect world.
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I woke up the next morning to the ear splitting sound of my alarm going off as I drug my hand out of the warmth of my covers hitting the button repeatedly to stop the noise. I rubbed my hands over my face hating that sleep had to end so abruptly, especially when you were just falling into a deep sleep. I stretched my arms over my head, before grabbing my phone off of the nightstand to see if maybe Austin couldn't sleep and had sent me a text. I let out a small sigh when my home screen came up blank. I slid into my slippers casually walking down the stairs and into the kitchen to start on my morning brew and chill before Liam decided he wanted to start his day.
I grabbed my coffee between both of my hands, carefully inhaling the delicious Colombian coffee bean steam as I walked in towards the couch, my body on autopilot as it carried me over to where Austin sat last night, a very faint hint of his existence in my house hanging in the air letting me know that yes Candace, Austin was really in your living room last night, none of this was a dream.
I pulled a coaster from the coffee table setting it down on the small end table next to me so I could reach my coffee at a more comfortable distance. I flicked on the TV not really even knowing why I did it as nothing of interest was ever on in the morning, but the meaningless task of flipping through the channels was all part of the routine so I continued to do it anyway. Not to mention it was taming down the thoughts I had of a certain someone, as much as I loved to have him on my mind I didn't need to be thinking of him all day just yet.
After a few minutes of channel surfing I decided that I should call my Mom, feeling surprised that she didn't already jump to the task seeing that I didn't talk to her at all yesterday. I was far too consumed by a tall, mysterious and sweet man by the name of Austin to even be thinking about my former life back home. I put the phone on speaker waiting for her cheerful morning voice to seep through the speakers.
"Hey honey, what are you up too? We didn't hear from you yesterday" she said, taking a long sip from her coffee, a tell tale sign that she had just removed herself from her bed to start her day. My father, already two hours into his work day like normal.
"I'm sorry I got caught up. Liam and I ran to the store to get a few things and I ran into a friend and long story short we had dinner together and he ended up staying for a little afterwards" I said, hoping that she wouldn't catch on to the he that I slipped in there with no choice since there was no way around it.
"A friend who is a he huh? When did you meet this friend? Just two days ago you were thinking of coming home and now you have a friend who is a he?" she said. I could tell that she was feeling skeptical. I had a bit of a past from when I was in my very early twenties and it was something that never really left her mind. Rightfully so I suppose, I was her daughter and the things that I used to do would make any mother cringe... let's not even discuss my Father's response.
"Yeah Mom, just a friend, nothing happened" I laughed, partly because it was a lie. Something did indeed happen, but not in the way she was thinking. It was more in the way of someone tenderly caring for a seed they just planted and finally a sprout appeared from the ground and they couldn't wait to start caring for it more as they watched it grow, but I didn't want to tell her just yet, I wasn't ready for the twenty questions.
"Where was Liam when your friend was over?" I heard her put extra emphasis on the word friend, her doubts running high. I let out a sigh feeling myself getting agitated that she couldn't let the past be in the past and accept that I can-and did-meet a guy that I didn't let get with me the first time we were alone...no matter how bad I actually wanted that to happen.
"Mom, that was the old me, the me before Liam was born. I don't do that anymore okay. And yes he is just a friend. He is very kind, sweet and caring and I honestly think that you and Dad would approve of him very much" I said with a whispered breath into the phone.
"I know you Candace and that is the last I am going to say on the subject" she said flatly. I let out a sigh knowing that we hit that point in our conversation where we were going to forcefully converse from this point forward and trying to make it feel comfortable was going to be more work than what it was worth. I decided I would let her ride this out, fighting with her own thoughts in her head and in a day or two she would forget that I even said anything.
"I know Mom, but I'm fine. I'm going to go" I said putting my head in my hand wishing I could reverse the clock so I would not tell her about Austin coming over last night, maybe steering our conversation into more of a cheery tone than what it currently held.
I hung up the phone with her, a sad sigh escaping my mouth as I pushed myself up off of the couch and headed upstairs to the bathroom. It was still an hour before Liam was due to wake up and I decided that a hot shower would make everything better. Something about inhaling the steam and feeling everything that was bothering you being washed away was some of the best therapy I had ever received.
I stepped out after what felt like hours later grabbing a towel off the hook, towel drying my hair before wrapping it around my waist so I could walk into my room to get dressed for the day. I figured that today would be a good day to take Liam to the park. We hadn't been there in a few days and I know that he would love to get out and have some fresh air. I slid into a pair of white shorts and threw a maroon colored fitted tank over my head. I straightened my long silky locks before applying a quick coat of mascara and putting a petite diamond necklace around my neck.
Feeling satisfied with my outfit, I grabbed my phone off of the bed, lifting it up to see that no one was interested in contacting me. A sad feeling washed over me as I had hoped Austin would've woke up filled with thoughts of me, just as I had woke up thinking of him almost instantly. I tried to push the feeling of rejection as far back to the depths of my mind as I could remembering that he did say he had to work this week. And being Post Malone-okay that was awkward as hell to say-required a lot from him. I didn't know what it was like to live his life, but I imagine he had a list of demands ten times the size of him each day.
I slid my phone into the back pocket of my shorts before quickly checking in on Liam. He was curled into a ball, the blankets pulled up to his chin to ward off the chill from the central air, small snores escaping him. I smiled as I pulled the door closed again knowing that although he appeared to be in a perpetual state of sleep he would without hesitation be up and ready to go in a short twenty minutes. I made my way down the stairs and back towards my kitchen-where admittedly I felt like I spent most of my days when we were home, why I felt the need to get such a large home was beyond me-as I started to prepare the usual breakfast for my sweet boy.
He came bouncing down the stairs like clock work, doing a good job at dressing himself this morning in a pair of jean shorts and a plain red crew neck. I smiled at him as he ran over to me wrapping his tiny arms around my waist. "Morning Mommy. Where's Daddy?" he asked, pulling away as he headed over towards the table. He climbed up onto the barstool type chair, his feet dangling happily as he waited for his breakfast.
"Oh Austin had to go home bubba" I said walking over with his waffles, the butter melting generously between each delicious dimple. His banana cut into pieces just how he liked it and a glass of orange juice.
"How come he didn't stay? I hope he was here when I got up so we could play again" he said, taking a bite of his waffle before swallowing it down with a long gulp of juice. I smiled at him as I leaned against the counter, remembering that I did have to pass along Austin's message to him and maybe that would give him some hope that his daddy would indeed be present again in his life.
"Well bubba when he left last night he told me to tell you that you guys will play again soon. So just because he isn't here right now doesn't mean he isn't going to come back" I smiled as I grabbed the two waffles I had made for myself out of the toaster, walking over to sit with Liam while he ate his breakfast. "What do you say we go to the park today?" I asked through a mouthful of waffle. God I taught my kid such great manners, I should totally get a gold star.
"Mountain View!?" he said excitedly, his eyes lighting up brighter than the sun in the sky when I quickly nodded my head yes with a small smile. I loved when he got excited, it made my days so much better and made me feel like I was getting this parenting thing down to a science, well at least for the time being. "Do you think Daddy will stop?" he asked, his excitement not faltering but a sad glimmer of hope hanging in the shadows of his voice.
"I don't know bubba maybe. Finish your breakfast. Mommy has a few things she needs to get done so when you finish up you can go watch two episodes of Paw Patrol. But just two and then no more TV until a movie before bed okay?" he nodded his head as he sat shimmining back in forth in his seat like he had ants in his pants as he quietly finished his breakfast before hopping down and running to the living room to watch his favorite tv show.
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I sat on the bench at the park making a promise to myself that I would be more attentive as I watched Liam happily bouncing around the playground. He had made a few friends in the month that we have been here and I quietly cursed myself that I didn't take the initiative to seek out their parents so that he could have regular play dates with them. I was going to send him to pre-school but figured since I was not working I could make up for it and save money at the same time, so this was the only place he got his much needed social interaction. I smiled as Liam came bounding over towards me, the wind blowing his hair from the rate of speed he was running as he pointed his finger over towards a familiar white Subaru.
"Mommy, Mommy it's Daddy! He saw us and he stopped" Liam excitedly said as he jumped up and down, both of his hands resting on my knee that he used for leverage to get him enough height to accompany his excitement. I followed his little finger as sure enough it did look like Austin's car that he had brought to our house last night, but Liam didn't see him pull in so how would he know?
"Liam honey, that could be anyone's car bubba. It doesn't have to be Austin's" I laughed running my hand through his hair.
"I saw him Mommy" he said. I looked back over towards the car completely puzzled. If that really was Austin then where had he gone? It wasn't like there were any stores nearby for him to disappear into.
"You know lil miss, we really need to stop meeting up like this" I felt like my body was frozen yet filled with an intense fire as I heard his voice sail through my ears from behind me. I turned around to see him sitting next to me, and I felt like my eyes were about to pop out of my head, immediately thankful for the sunglasses I was wearing. I don't know how this man made it possible, but he got hotter and hotter each time I saw him. He was wearing black jeans and black boots, a white crew neck t-shirt with black sunglasses and a baseball cap. A small handgun hanging very visibly from his side. I swallowed hard trying to find the words to say instead of stumbling over them like an idiot as I watched him scoop up Liam, setting him gently in his lap. "I think I've made Mommy speechless buddy" he smirked.
"Hi Daddy. I missed you" Liam said wrapping his arms around his neck, Austin's arms coming up and embracing him gently.
"I missed you too buddy. Why don't you go play for a few more minutes while I talk to Mommy okay?" I heard him ask in his unique New York/Texan accent. Liam nodded his head enthusiastically as he got up and ran over to his friends who were playing on the swings.
"What brings you here today lil miss?" I heard him ask, his arm resting on the back of the bench, his fingers gently rubbing up and down my left shoulder blade.
"Oh you know, just being Mom of the year and taking our kid to play. Someone has to do it since you aren't around" I said pushing my sunglasses off my face and into my hair as I cut my eyes to his, a smirk forming on his perfect face. "But the better question is, what brings you here?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.
"I was driving from Starbucks and I saw you sitting here and thought I'd stop" he said, shrugging his shoulders as I noticed the starbucks cup he was clutching in his hand.
"Please, like you noticed me from halfway across the street" I laughed rolling my eyes as I averted my attention back towards Liam's direction.
"Who wouldn't notice a beautiful girl like you is the better statement" he said, his hand coming up and gently pushing some hair out of my face. I swallowed hard as I looked up at him, wishing I could get sucked into those blue eyes but also feeling thankful that they were covered knowing that I would try to kiss him right here on this bench and not even give a shit who saw us. "Oh and don't worry I didn't forget about you lil miss. For you. Colombian Blend" he said grabbing a coffee off of the ground handing it to me.
"Thank you Austin" I smiled, wondering he had planned to come to my house or did he casually buy two coffees just incase. He gave a small nod in response as he brought his own cup to his lips taking a long sip, his hand returning to the back of the bench as his fingertips resumed their slight tough against my exposed shoulder blade, the both of us quiet for a moment as we watched Liam happily playing with his friends.
"Are you busy today lil miss?" he asked as he broke the silence, bringing his coffee cup down and setting it on his knee. I brought my finger up to my chin, my eyes looking into the bright blue sky as I pretended to be contemplating my non-existent schedule before looking over at him.
"That depends, what are you asking?" I said with a smile that I tried to hide but had no such luck.
"I have some time and I'd love to take you and our son for lunch," he said, pulling off his black sunglasses to reveal his gorgeous baby blues that sparkled even under the shade from his cap.
"At an actual restaurant? Aren't you nervous. I mean I know you're Austin but to everyone else your Posty" I laughed thinking how weird that actually sounded to say, because to me he really was just Austin.
He rolled his eyes playfully as he stared down at me from under the protection of his hat. "Yes lil miss in an actual restaurant and no I'm not nervous to be seen with a girl as beautiful as you. So what do you say lil miss? Is it a date?" his eyes twinkling down at me as he once again managed to leave me speechless.
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A/N: hi everyone!!! I hope your enjoying this story as much as I am writing it! Sorry if it got a little wordy and wasn't filled with as much interaction, but I hope you loved it all the same!!! Thank you for reading as always and I look forward to your comments 🥰