My shoulders ached from the weight of my backpack on my back as I walked to school. The straps dug into the tender flesh of my shoulders and my bruises practically screamed in pain. It didn't help that I'd have extra work to do for missing school for practically a week.
Exhaling heavily, I play with a strand of my hair and scan the street around me. It seemed oddly deserted and an uneasy feeling washed over me when I heard the sound of a branch snapping behind me. Eyes wide, I spun around, only to find the place behind me empty. A breeze whipped past me and I frowned, ignoring the feeling in the pit of my stomach as I turned back around to continue my walk to school.
The paranoid feeling of being watched didn't go away, but I tried my best to ignore it and get to school as fast as possible. Only when I reached school grounds did a wave of relief wash over me, the sound of noisy high schoolers bringing an odd sense of comfort to my heart.
"Hey, Polly," a voice called from behind me.
I turned to find a flushed Owen running towards, waving his arms in the air manically. I chuckled when he finally halted in front of me, trying to catch his breath. "Hi, Owen."
"Jesus, Polly. I've been chasing after you ever since you got here. You have super speed or something?" he asked, watching as I smiled at the irony.
There was no way I had super speed. "Sorry," I apologized sheepishly.
"Come on, you wanna walk to class?" he asks, waving off my apology and pulling me after him rather than waiting for my reply. "Did you know that in Japan, letting a Sumo wrestler make your baby cry is considered good luck?"
My eyes widened. "Really?" When he nodded, I giggled. "What? Did you get that from an anime?"
"Yup," Owen replied, not ashamed to admit it at all.
My stomach somersaulted when I caught sight of Puck making his way to class as me and Owen and entered together. When he saw us, a flash of hurt flickered in his eyes before understanding dawned in them. I watched as he quickly shook a lock of his hair into his face, settling into our normal bench.
I was thankful when I saw that the seat next to Owen's was occupied and quickly made my way to the bench Puck sat at, taking a seat next to him. When he looked up, I smiled at him tentatively and whispered, "Hi."
"Hi," he responded, staring at me with those dark eyes. "Did you eat?" he whispered to me midway through the lesson.
I bit my lip. No, I didn't. "Yeah." I nodded my head.
Puck didn't seem convinced. But before he could say anything, the bell rang, loud and shrill and the teacher entered the room, her glasses perched on the edge of her nose and ready to take roll call.
As soon as she was done, Puck grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat. My eyes widened and I shook my head but he ignored it, dragging me out of the classroom, the teacher not even bothering to look up as she started the lesson. Every student except for Owen looked away. He sent me a confused look and I shook my head, sending him a reassuring smile in return.
"Puck, what are you doing? I have to be in class. Where are you taking me?" I asked as he pulled me down the empty hallway, his strides long and determined as I struggled to keep up.
Puck pursed his lips, a crease forming between his eyebrows. "You'll see," he replied vaguely, turning into a stairwell and pulling me up with him as he starts to ascend.
We went up and up and up. All the way until we reached the end of the stairs and he pushed open the door leading to the rooftop. My breath caught in my throat when I looked over at the ground - we were so high up.
Puck's hand pulled me away from the edge and instead, gestured for me to take a seat on the ground. I watched as he walked over to one of the broken air vents and lifted the hood up, pulling out a dark bag.
I frowned when he settled it in front of me, pulling out boxes of take-out. "You come up here often?"
"Yeah, sometimes," he answered, turning to look at me as he handed me a box of spaghetti. "Eat up."
"You made me miss class so we could come up here and eat?" I asked incredulously, watching as he pulled out another box of spaghetti for himself and started devouring it savagely.
Puck nodded, then shrugged. "Yeah. Why? You're hungry."
"I'm not," I said, exasperated. "I already told you - I ate."
Puck halted his savage movements, turning to look at me with raised eyebrows, noodles hanging from his mouth as he struggled to suck them into his mouth. If I wasn't so exasperated at the moment, I would've laughed. "Don't lie to me."
I know when you're lying, doll.
I shivered at the memory of his words, wrapping my arms around myself as I pulled my knees to my chest and reassured myself that he wasn't like that anymore. Puck seemed to catch on to where my thoughts wandered because suddenly, he was putting his box of noodles down and scooting closer to me.
"Sorry," he whispered, staring over the rooftop as an indecipherable emotion flitted through his dark eyes.
I managed a weak smile and placed my hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "You already apologized. It's okay."
Puck shook his head, suddenly agitated, as if I didn't understand. "No. It's not okay, Polly," he said, staring straight across from him with a hard expression. "You shouldn't forgive me so easily. I... I don't --"
"Don't say you don't deserve it, Puck," I interrupted, tightening my arms around my knees and lowering my voice to a whisper. "Everyone deserves a second chance."
But its as if he didn't even hear me. He gulped. "I've done...despicable things. Horrible things—"
"You deserve a second chance," I repeated, my voice firm.
Puck's eyes harden. "No. I don't. You don't... You don't know, Polly. You don't know what I've done. You'd stay away from me if you did. You don't know...me."
His last statement was like a slap to the face. Tears welled up to the surface of my eyes and I grimaced at myself in disgust. So pathetic, I thought. Always crying.
"Polly..." There's deep regret in Puck's voice but I ignored him, turning my head away in the other direction so he wouldn't see how weak I really was. A sigh resonated in the air between us and I bit my lip to halt the quiver of bottom lip. "See?" he said, his voice defeated. "One way or the other, I always manage to hurt you."
I didn't reply, opting on staring at the sky through glassy eyes. The silence between us stretched on and on, only the sound of the wind rustling the trees heard between us. It would've been peaceful had things between Puck and me not been so awkward. Talk to him, the wind seemed to whisper, fanning across my face and whipping at my pale locks of hair. Tell him...
But I couldn't bring myself to. It was as if the wind itself had sealed my lips shut. I didn't look at him even when he started speaking.
"You ever feel like...," he trailed off, his voice cracking before clearing his throat and starting again. "You ever wonder about just - just taking that one little step off the rooftop...?"
My eyes widened but I still didn't turn to look at him. After a long while, I said, "I'd like to think I haven't, but then I'd be lying." Puck snorted humorlessly at that. "Have...you? - wondered about it, I mean?"
"A lot," he answered quietly.
I finally turned, only to find Puck staring at me. He eyed the tear streaks on my face sadly, but said nothing. "What stopped you?" I asked, mirroring his expression, no doubt.
He was silent for a moment, his eyes scanning my face in an intimate way that had heat crawling up my face. When I thought he wasn't going to answer, he finally answered. It was just one word, yet it had my heart beating so fast I was sure he could hear it.
"You."
My lips parted and I stared at him in confusion, willing my cheeks to cool down. "I don't understand," I whispered.
"I don't expect you to," he said disappointedly, sadly as he stared down at his lap. My confusion only heightened. But before I could press anymore on the matter, he spoke. "What stopped you?"
I looked out towards the pale, blue sky in front of me, feeling Puck's eyes boring into me the whole time. Shrugging, I said, "I don't know. I just didn't want to, all of a sudden... I guess I'm just a coward."
"No," Puck said immediately, and when I looked at him, his dark eyes were blazing. "It's not cowardice when you stop from killing yourself."
I stared at him, my blue eyes piercing into his. "Then why do I get the feeling you feel like a coward?"
I could tell he was taken aback by the question. His mouth opened and closed for a moment, getting ready to give me an answer but coming up with nothing. Finally, his expression hardened and he ran his hands through his hair agitatedly. "That's different. Its...complicated."
"How is it any different than me, Puck?" I insisted, frowning and crossing my arms over my chest.
He shook his head, at a lost for an answer. "Because...because you're - you're you," he stated, as if me being me was the most obvious answer. "You're not...like me. You're nice and everything I'm not. You deserve to live... But me - I'm just...I'm just..."
"Just what?" I asked sharply, surprising him with the tone of my words. As I stared at him in that moment, I saw the defeated look in his eyes - the tiredness. He was just a boy. Just like I was just a girl. "Everyone deserves to live, Puck," I said, softening my tone. "Everyone includes you, too."
He didn't look convinced. But a new emotion sparked in my chest. I could help him. I could.
He just needed a friend.
Finally got the chance to sit down & write this chapter. School has started again and on top of that, I was stuck in the hospital for 2 days because my grandma had a heart attack :( Pray for her recovery please. Also, I heard the news - stay safe, y'all! I'm hopeful things will get better :)