The next day, they all hit the road in Hook Hand's caravan. "We're headed to a very important event," Hand tells them. "It's a glamorous destination wedding for my patron. He's a king, and he makes sure I get everything I need, so everything's gotta be perfect."
At the moment Cassandra is chilling out on the luxurious golden sofa, and Lance and Shorty are enjoying the bubbly, golden hot tub. "It doesn't get more perfect than this," Lance says happily, clinking his glass of lemonade with Shorty's.
While Ruddiger happily munches on some fresh apples, Varian is inspecting the inside of the caravan, eyeing all of the gold items around him. Which is pretty much everything. The room is so full of gold and gems that it is blinding. And after observation, Varian is surprised when he realizes that every bit of it is real gold. Just how rich is this guy now?
"My brother... king..." Varian hears Hook Foot mumbling to himself. He does feel kind of sorry for him.
Rapunzel spots Hook Foot too, and sits down on the couch next to him. "I know you're upset about the way he treated you," the princess says softly, "but people change over time. Haven't you changed since then?"
"I guess. I mean, I do groom myself now," Hook Foot replies.
"And we all thank you for that," Varian says jokingly.
"Oh, and I can read math!" Hook Foot adds proudly.
"May I?" They hear Hook Hand say as he pulls out a chair for Cassandra.
"Uh... okay," she replies as she sits down with a smile. Varian feels a twinge of jealously, though he knows it's ridiculous.
Hook Hand walks over to Pascal next, who is laying in a bowl of berries. He eats one, getting a little bit of juice on his face. Hook Hand produces a napkin, and happily wipes the chameleon's face for him.
Hook Foot stares down at the ground sadly, obviously feeling upstaged by his brother.
"Everybody deserves a second chance," Rapunzel says encouragingly. She gives Varian a pointed smile as she says this.
"Maybe you're right," Hook Foot says. "Maybe he has changed."
"That's the spirit!" Rapunzel says.
While Rapunzel and Hook Foot are still talking, they don't notice Hook Hand grab Eugene before he can take a bite out of a cupcake. Varian winces as Hand hangs Eugene up on a coat hook inside a closet, and slams the door shut. He then proceeds to eat Eugene's cupcake as if nothing happened.
"I'll give it a shot," Hook Foot tells the princess, and then stands up to go talk to his brother.
Uninterested in how this conversation will play out, Varian walks away. He catches sight of Hook Hand's piano in the corner, and approaches it.
"What're you doing?" Cassandra asks, her arms folded.
"Isn't it obvious?" Varian replies with a chuckle as he sits down on the piano bench. "I'm checking out his piano."
"Do you even play?" Cassandra asks.
"As a matter of fact, I do," Varian tells her. "My, uh... my mom used to play." A bittersweet feeling causes a brief pang in his heart thinking about the mother he barely remembers, but he quickly shakes it away. "I found some of her old piano music when I was little, and taught myself to play."
"Uh-huh," Cassandra says, like she doesn't quite believe him. "Care to back up that claim?"
"Gladly," Varian says with a smirk as he cracks his knuckles. He is about to begin playing, when Hook Hand sees him.
"Hey, you!" Hook Hand shouts. "Get away from my piano!"
Varian jumps up quickly, and backs away. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be a big deal."
"It is a big deal," Hook Hand says. "I'm the only one around here who gets to play piano!"
"Afraid someone else might actually be better than you?" Varian mutters under his breath, as Ruddiger hisses at Hook Hand defensively.
Hook Hand sits at the piano, and his fingers (and hook) fly across the keys as he sings a whole song to them about how amazingly talented, rich, and famous he is, and how Hook Foot's crushed dreams are lame and pathetic. Rapunzel stares at him disapprovingly the entire time. Varian is now positive of just how much he does not like Hook Hand.
"I can't believe he treats you like that!" Rapunzel says to Hook Foot later. "Not to mention the way he treated Varian!"
The closet door swings open, revealing Eugene still hanging from it. "I can," he says through gritted teeth.
Rapunzel gasps as Hook Foot helps Eugene down. "We need a better strategy," the princess says.
"Ooh, I got it! Revenge," Eugene says. "I'm talking about shock and awe."
Varian knows from personal experience that revenge isn't the answer. But... Hook Hand is so annoying, that a part of him sides with Eugene.
"Eugene!" Rapunzel scolds.
"Sorry. What are we, barbarians?" Eugene says. He nudges Hook Foot, then adds, "But you actually are a barbarian, so—"
"No! No revenge," Rapunzel interrupts, pushing Eugene away.
Though I could really help in that department, Varian thinks. But he doesn't dare say this aloud in front of Rapunzel.
"It's time to be direct," Rapunzel says to Hook Foot. "You need to tell Hook Hand how you really feel."
"Telling someone how you really feel doesn't always work out well, Princess," Varian says dejectedly, giving Cassandra a dismal glance that no one notices.
"We're here!" Hook Hand shouts as the caravan comes to a halt. "Everybody out!"
Rapunzel turns her gaze back to Hook Foot. "It's now or never. What's it gonna be?"
"Go for revenge," Eugene whispers to him. "Sweet, sweet revenge."
"I second that," Varian whispers too.
"You two, shh!" Rapunzel says with a glare.
Hook Foot pulls up his belt. He strides over to his brother angrily, who is observing himself in the mirror. "Hey, big brother. I got a bone to pick with you. I never liked that nickname 'Razzle Dazzle'! And another thing, I don't like the way you made fun of my talents and interests growin' up! And you know what else? I demand an apology!"
Hook Hand scoffs. "Apologize, to you? Get over it, Razzle Dazzle. It's ancient history."
Hook Foot stammers in frustration, and then leaves the caravan in a huff, slamming the door behind him.
"If he wants to act like a baby, let him," Hook Hand says with a shrug. "I got a show to do and my patron does not like to be kept waiting. He can be a real jerk..."
"Wouldn't know what one of those looks like," Varian says sarcastically.
"How big of a jerk do you have to be for Hook Hand to call you a jerk?" Eugene wonders.
But once they follow Hook Hand out of the caravan, it isn't long before they find out. A tall, skinny man with fancy clothes and a crown rushes up to them, holding a pocket watch.
"You are three minutes late, you impunctual, lumpy-faced melody pirate!" The man shouts at Hook Hand.
"Oh, him..." Eugene says knowingly.
"You know that guy?" Varian asks.
"That's King Trevor, the king of Equis," Eugene replies.
"Seriously? Him?" Varian says. "I've heard of him, but he is not at all what I pictured."
"Everything must be perfect for Trevor Jr.'s destination wedding," King Trevor continues. He takes a deep breath before shouting in Hook Hand's face, "Everything!" This causes Hook Hand to cower.
"I have had it with bullies!" Rapunzel says, throwing her hands in the air. Pascal squeaks in eager agreement.
"Now, look, I know you're upset Blondie," Eugene says, "but this is a workplace dispute between Hook Hand and his employer... and you're already on your way to interfere. Fantastic."
Sure enough, Rapunzel is walking away from Eugene and Varian towards King Trevor. She gets directly in his face, causing him to back away from Hook Hand. "King Trevor, I don't believe we've met."
"Who do we have here?" Trevor says, taking the sight of Rapunzel in. "Let's see... Impossibly long golden locks, a green shoulder slug. Princess Rapunzel, I presume?" He spots Eugene behind her and adds, "Oh, and your felonious boyfriend. You're still wanted in Equis, you know!"
Eugene clicks his tongue with a wink, unfazed.
"And you," Trevor says, pointing at Varian. "I know of the crimes you've committed in Corona, child. I'm not sure how you escaped the guillotine, but you are banned from ever stepping foot in Equis!"
"Why would I want to?" Varian mutters, glaring at Trevor.
"I couldn't care less about you or your trash panda anyway," Trevor says, pointing to Ruddiger who is standing at Varian's feet. "But as for Flynn Rider, I shall spare your neck the noose. For it was your thievery what led Trevor Jr. into the flippers of his true love, Lucille!"
The gang gaze over at a cliff overlooking the ocean. Two seals dressed as a bride and groom are under a decorated archway, rubbing noses.
"Wait, what?" Varian says. "Trevor Jr. is a seal?"
"Those two seals are getting married?" Rapunzel says, noticing all the wedding decorations around them. "This is a seal wedding?! Most adorable thing ever!" She gasps excitedly, and begins to approach the seals. But she stops herself, and backs up to glare at Trevor once again. "This is not over." Happily, she rushes over to the seals and puts her arms around them. "Congrats, you two."
Trevor now turns his attention back to Hook Hand. "Listen well, buffoon. This is the most important performance of your measly career, do you understand me?" His voice is low and grave, giving Varian chills. "When the ceremony has ended, I will gift the happy couple with a dance, representing the glory of their love. For as you know, I'm regarded as a world-class dancer." He rips off his boots to reveal sparkly, jewel-encrusted dancing shoes underneath. "Should one foul note find its way into my Trevor Jr.'s ear flaps, it is back to the Stinky Weasel with you. Is that clear?" He leans back and shouts so loudly, Varian is certain everyone back in Corona could hear him: "NOT ONE FOUL NOTE!"