Chapter 14

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Let's not think too much, there ain't no problems
So long as we keep this
Low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low-key
You ain't even gotta lo- lo- lo- lo- lo- lo- lo-love me
-
lowkey by NIKI

***

After Euphoria is my pride.

Sure, it became the foundation of my friendship with Eros, Justin and Valentine, my only friends, I honestly don't see myself anywhere without them.

Well I'd have Justin forever, but I don't think I'd be contented without Eros and Valen. They're my rock. They took care of me even in the most unaffectionate way. I was always valid. My feelings, emotions, decisions, even my period tantrums, they never judged.

Maybe those were the reason why I felt so threatened when they played for another singer. It was fucking normal because we've done collabs before, but damn I still felt possessive. Baka kasi babae rin si Shierra at pwedeng pamalit sa akin kaya kung ano ano nang tumakbo sa isip ko.

And Shierra... she's not bad at all.

After that day, palagi na siyang sumasama sa 'min. She's blockmates with Eros on a gen ed subject, that's why. Wala namang kaso sa tatlo since the exes have no issues with each other anymore.

Pero sa 'kin, meron.

Noon.

Well, I still feel kinda threatened now, but it eventually shrinks whenever I'm reminded of what a good person Shierra is. Naobserbahan ko 'yon sa ilang beses namin siyang nakasama sa kung saan saan. See, paano tatagal ang kulo ng dugo ko kung mabait na tao naman siya?

Isa rin 'yon sa naisip kong dahilan kung bakit nagustuhan din siya ni Eros. Something that I don't really major on. I also have a good heart but I'm no fucking saint. Sa selos ay si Eros ang sumalo ng lahat ng inis ko.

Eros felt the wick of my sudden possessiveness to his bones. Lagi ko siyang pinagdadamot kapag nandyan si Shierra. Siya lang dahil hindi ko naman pwedeng idamay si Justin at Valen. Well I want to, but I just can't control them since they're friends with Shierra. Not like Eros who's exes with her.

Kung siya nga ayaw akong nilalapitan ng ex ko, ako pa kaya?

Fortunately though, his patience didn't snap. Alam niyang nagseselos ako, 'di lamang dahil sa kanya kundi kina Justin at Valen din. He would always console my paranoia and give me assurance na hindi naman siya babalik sa ex niya at hindi rin nila ako papalitan bilang bokalista ng banda namin.

Yeah, I know it was too much. But you can't blame me, right? Shierra can be the perfect replacement if I ever quit. Which would never happen, by the way! I won't ever let that happen.

I'm slowly getting used to her presence anyway. Valen sees that as a success na nahanapan nila ako ng babaeng kaibigan. Unti unti ko rin namang tinatanggap.

Christmas and a new year came, we're still busy collecting songs for the album we're about to put out as a debut. May mga narecord na kaming naapprove ng music director. But I still don't know the actual songs na kasama sa album. May mga kanta kasing na-put on reserve dahil hindi daw tugma sa ibang mga kanta. It's either lalabas 'yon as singles in the next years or magiging demo for another artist.

"Dionne."

My eyes turned to whoever walked beside me. "Shierra."

She smiled. "Are you going to the caf?"

I nodded, instantly figuring out she'll have lunch with us today. She puckered her lips and just walked silently beside me. Hinayaan ko naman dahil 'di ko alam ang isasalita ko diba.

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