Goodbye Lullaby (COMPLETED)

Chapter 10

If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I should have found by now
So I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
-
Cough Syrup by Young the Giant

***

"I'm gonna call my dad."

"Uh-huh. What will you tell him?"

Hinigpitan ko ang pagkakayakap sa kanyang leeg. I was tiptoeing, but his arms were wrapped tightly around my waist to support me. Nasa labas pa rin kami ng bahay ko.

"That I don't want his kids near me."

He sighed.

I feel like he's gonna oppose me once again like he did when I talked about my mom, but I guess he now understands my worries because he didn't say anything. He only adjusted his hug on me when I started wiping my tears off. I think I cried on his neck for a good 10 minutes.

"And then?" He gently asked. The hair at the back of my neck stood as his lips slightly touched my ear.

"I don't know. Confront him? Maybe." I whispered. "I'm scared."

He nodded while also whispering a soft, "hmm," that's very calming. Para akong bata na inaalo and I honestly don't mind.

"What is it exactly that you're scared of?"

Kumalas ako sa yakap niya't nakipagtitigan sa kanya. His face was different compared to his usual expression. Like he's saying that it's okay to be vulnerable and that he's here for me whatever my concern is.

I never liked to be looked at at my down fucking moments. But with him, I feel safe. And that's what I'm also scared about.

My lips quivered and tears started forming in my eyes again. He sighed and looked away. He softly wiped the tear that escaped my eye using the back of his palm. Hinatak niya rin akong muli sa isang yakap. This time I didn't have to tiptoe because I landed directly on his chest.

"I'm sorry..."

I shook my head. "Why are you saying sorry?"

"For asking."

Suddenly forgetting the talk about my Dad, I wanna smack Eros' head for saying that. Ayokong iniisip niya na mali ang mga sinasabi niya. I admitted it to myself that I find comfort in him. And him being sorry for it... parang sinabi niya na rin na napipilitan lang siya.

"Stop saying sorry from now on." I glared at him.

Confusion registered to his face. But I kept sending daggers at him.

"Bakit? Anong ginawa ko?" His forehead was creased. Litong lito sa biglaang pagbabago ng mood.

Nakakainis naman kasi siya! Whenever he says sorry, pakiramdam ko hindi siya kumportable sa akin. It's weird but if I feel safe with him, I'd want him feeling safe with me, too. That's the point I wanna prove, but no way in hell I'm gonna tell him that.

"Just don't." I gave him one last warning eyes before I pulled away from his hug. His right brow raised and his lips puckered a bit.