Althea - The Dark Goddess

Bloodline Royal

I wake up panting again. My forehead beading in sweats and my entire body drenched in it. My breathing heavy and the only sound I could hear was the drumming of my heart. As if ready to burst any second now.

Releasing a deep sigh, I look around in the darkness, my eyes as sharp as ever. I was in my room, laying on my bed.

A warm touch on my shoulder makes me whip my head around in alarm but those familiar green eyes that even lights through the darkness comforts me. Just a little.

"You are okay."

My vacant thoughts slowly comes together and my hands immediately flies up to cover my eyes, to hide myself, my breathing once again skyrockets. But she just grabs my wrists and gently pulls my hands down, away from my face. A small smile tugs the corner of her lips upwards as she looks at me. That smile of hers, the only reassurance that I needed.

"It's alright."

It was alright. And just like that my breathing calms, knowing what she meant. She had once again sealed it off.

The earth heals all.

But until when? How long? It was not enough.

As the years passes by, I became more unstable. No matter how powerful she was, her powers alone was not enough to keep this hideous self of mine concealed. The self that I despised every time I saw my own reflection. The self that I hated enough to seal it off completely.

From everyone. From myself.

Even though she always told me I was beautiful just as I was. That these differences make me who I am. That I was a goddess blessing.

I don't know when, but I stopped believing those words.

As I grew up, I only saw the opposite of what she saw. I saw what others saw and what they saw was not appealing. It was distressing. These differences made me an outcast. Even if no one voiced it, I could read their eyes.

Those judgemental eyes. They never lie.

A royal born without a gift. A princess but an outcast. A being so pure yet so dark. Almost hideous.

Respect because of authority and acknowledgement because of title was not the recognition that I wanted. I never earned their trust and vice versa I never gave them mine.

Even though I grew up surrounded by them, they were never able to look past my appearance. The pack that was meant to make me feel like home, made me feel like an outsider. The pack that was meant to protect me, ended up attacking me with their unkind eyes.

My pack will only ever see me as my mother's daughter and give me the respect they could give, not the respect I deserve. So, I stopped.

I stopped trying.

I closed myself off and only let a few people to stay in my life. I built myself a wall surrounded by them and hid behind that perfectly built wall. I hid myself from their judging eyes, their assumptious thoughts. From everyone and everything altogether.

I let them think what they believed. And I let them believe I was weak, undeserving. One who needed protection, support.

But in truth, I was more than capable of protecting myself and the ones around me. I was strong. I made myself so.

"Want to talk about it?" My mom's soft voice brings me out of my dark thoughts.

I exhale loudly, looking away from her to my dark surrounding which was still clear as day. I watch as she gets up and heads towards the window.