Althea - The Dark Goddess

Premonition

Once again, I sit by the edge of my bedroom window, leaning my body against it while staring at the blue horizon. To the realm, yet unknown to me.

Something out there calls me. It whispers my name. Pleads my soul to return. Like someone awaited my return. Like I was born for a purpose.

Like I was reborn.

I look towards the vast sky. To the limitless possibilities that laid on it and extend my arm forward, waiting for it to suck me right into one of those possibilities. But once again my mind wanders back to those eyes.

I close my eyes, wishing to erase, to forget, but that piercing blue eyes keeps staring right back at me. I clench my jaws tight as frustration builds up and anger starts to seep out of my heart, completely casing those blue eyes with dark, black clouds.

Again.

I let go of the breath that I was clutching onto. Why was my soul this tainted with darkness? This darkness that was woven with the light in my heart. They coexist. One equally rightful to the other. Both a part of me. But at the same time, one inferior-

The slight shift in the air and a soft touch on my shoulder brings me back to the present and somehow calms this raising darkness.

For now.

I open my eyes, only to be wrapped in a deep pool of green and as those eyes flicker between mine, I knew that the spell had once again broken. I sigh, turning away to look outside, more like to seek shelter to hide myself as she takes a seat in front of me.

"It's not strong enough, mom."

"Talk to me, Zoe. What is bothering you?" She takes her hand off my shoulder and puts it under my chin, turning my head to face her. I look into her own pool of darkness, but I know it held anything but darkness. She was the purest of us all. The beloved daughter of the earth.

"It's nothing."

The lie had already moulded in the back of my throat. The amount of times I have uttered these words to assure the people around me. Even though no one buys it anymore, it was always my answer to them. It was nothing.

A soft breath leaves her lips as she looks at me with those eyes. The eyes that knows everything. The eyes that can see right through me.

"I know your heart is troubled, Zoe. Even though I might not understand it, I know you feel prisoned to this land." She takes both my hands in her and squeezes tightly. "But I also know that your destiny lies somewhere else."

She now looks at the blue horizon. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I misunderstood his words. But those eyes..." I squint my eyes as I try to understand her words. What was she talking about? Who was she talking about? Eyes? Whose eyes?

"Mom I don't u-"

I shake my head but one look from her stops me. So, once again I keep my silence and watch her as she gently caresses my hands. "Look, Zoe. I know you think that we don't see it, that I don't know anything. But I do. I might not understand it completely, but I know it all. I wish that you had come to talk to me sooner. About anything. Everything. You know that I'm always here for you, right?"

I sit in silence feeling like a child who once again got caught leaving the palace walls. So, I keep my eyes on our hands unable to meet her gaze.

"What does your heart desire? Your soul... what is it telling you?" My eyes flicker up to look at her timidly. "Listen to it. Who knows your answers might lie within?"

She smiles softly while her hands tighten around mine. What was it that my heart wanted? Whose call was my soul hearing?

But I knew one thing for sure. "I want to go out there, mom." I hold on to her hands tightly. "I want to go beyond the ocean, over the horizon. I want to see the world. I don't want to wait for destiny. I want to write my own destiny."

My vision becomes hazy as the tears consume my eyes. And as I utter the words of confession for the very first time, my heart starts hammering against my chest, approving every word I spoke. The blood in me starts to boil as life fills me, and I become alive again.

"The wind whispers someone's name, mom, but I don't understand it. My heart too wants to tell me something, but I can't hear it. And every time I fail to, I feel this-this rage."

I start shaking and so does my voice. "This strange fury. It blinds me and all the voices around. I don't know what it is, but it rips my heart further. It never lets it heals. Please do something, help me, mom..."

Unable to contain the pain, the sadness in my heart, tears roll down my eyes like a pouring rain and my face scrunches up in pain.

I was losing myself.

I close my eyes as my mother pulls me in her warm embrace, finally letting her shoulder the pain weighing my heart. I put my head in her chest and sob silently, holding onto her, pushing myself further into her.

"Oh, sweet Althea. It's going to be okay love. You know that I always have your back. Who knows how destiny works? Sometimes you got to wait and other times, you have to fight for it. I believe it's time you go out there and find your own. And something tells me someone out there awaits you."

Her soft whispers calm me a little but at the same time, makes my heart flutter more. I didn't know the meaning behind her words yet, but my heart somehow seems to know something more.

Someone out there awaits you...

What was she talking about? Just who could be waiting for me?

"Mom, when did you start becoming like grandma? Metaphors and all. I don't understand you." I manage to say, pulling away from her, wiping my wet cheeks. But truth be told, I don't understand my grandma's word half the time.

She chuckles deeply as she brings her hands back to hold mine. "Oh, don't you worry, my premonition does come true too, you know." She rolls her eyes before she looks back at me with a sly smile.

"Well, trust me, this one will."