Tabitha Geller | Friends Fanfiction

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Sandra:Try.There’s my little girl."Goes over to Rachel".

Tabitha:She’s still mad.

Phoebe:Yeah I know.Isn’t it great?.One less person we have to make small talk with.

Monica:Phoebe Sandra’s mad at you too. It,it doesn’t bother you?.

Phoebe:No look we’ve apologized twice.I can’t do anymore than that.I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.

Monica:Okay.I can do that...I gotta go powder my ass.

*Time Lapse*

   Soon Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.

Rachel:Why did you invite my mother?!.

Monica:What?.

Rachel:She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.

Tabitha:For how long?.

Rachel:Eight weeks.I mean I love my mother but my god a long lunch with her is taxing.

Monica:I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.

Phoebe:She can’t hear you.

Rachel:What?.You guys come on.What am I going to do?.

Tabitha:Well if you don’t want your mother to move in with you just tell her.

Rachel:You’re right.You’re right.I mean I’m about to have a baby I can tell my mother that I don’t want her to just be sleeping on my couch.Oh my God.She’s gonna want to sleep in my bed with me.This cannot happen.

Monica:That’s right.That is right you go over there and tell her you don’t want her to live with you.Do not take no for an answer.

Rachel:Okay."Walks over to Sandra".

Monica:"To Phoebe".This is great.Now she’s gonna be mad at Rachel.Y’know what?.And I’m just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.

I shake my head at my sister.

Phoebe:I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody.It’s time to open the presents!.

Monica:Yes.Yes.And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby because you’re the most important person in this room. And in the world.

Sandra:Well uh I don’t have a gift because I wasn’t invited until the last minute but thank you so much for bringing that to everyone’s attention.

Phoebe:How about you less important people let’s open your presents.

   Sandra goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.

Rachel:Mom that’s okay that you didn’t get you a gift.

Sandra:Well I kinda did.Me.Eight weeks of me.

Rachel:Oh yeah.Okay see mom the truth is I can do this on my own.

Sandra:Sweetheart I know you’re gonna be terrific mom I just think you need a little help especially at the beginning.

Rachel:But mom I really know what I’m doing.I can handle this.

Sandra:Really?.Remember Twinkles?.

Rachel:He was a hamster.I am not going to vacuum up my baby.

Phoebe:Okay come on Rach it’s present time.Y’know you’re the glue that’s holding this whole party together.It’s kinda falling apart here.

Sandra:Oh look.

Rachel:Wow.

Phoebe:Okay this is from your friend at work.

Rachel:Oh my gosh.Oh wow!.Oh I know what this is."Holds up breast pump".Wait a minute.That can’t be right.Is that a beer bong for a baby?.

Sandra:Darling that’s a breast pump.

Rachel:Did I say I was done guessing?.Okay thank you for that.Oh wow.What’s this?.

Tabitha:It’s a diaper genie.

Rachel:Oh it dispenses clean diapers.

Tabitha:No.It’s where you put the dirty ones.

Rachel:Well that’s gross why don’t you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?.

Sandra:Oh you’re gonna do that ten times a day?.

Rachel:What?!.It goes ten times a day. What are we feeding this baby?!.Indian food?!.

Sandra:No dear that’s what babies do.

Monica:Rachel listen to your mother.She is very smart.

Sandra:Plus what are you planning on doing with the baby while you’re trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?.

Rachel:I don’t know I’d leave it on the changing table?.

Everyone gasps.

Rachel:What?!.What’d I do?.What’d I do?!.

Sandra:You can’t leave a baby alone.

Rachel:Oh come."Stutters".Of course I know that.I mean of course you never leave a baby alone.I mean who would she wouldn’t be safe as she would be with me the baby dummy.Oh God okay.Y’know what?.I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now.So I think um I’m just gonna maybe open them a little bit later but thank you all for coming.And for these beautiful gifts and this basket is beautiful.

???:It’s actually a bassinet.

Rachel:Okay mommy don’t ever leave me."Hugs her".