IF THEY LIVED (Harry Potter)

29|WALBURGA BLACK

"Voldemort."

James felt his pulse stop for a moment, as Remus's answer echoed in his head. He felt his head aching from shock, his chest clenching and his throat strangling itself.

"Voldemort?" he croaked and Remus looked away and nodded. "No, but... That's impossible... I..."

"I'm sorry James," Remus whispered. 

"How did you not tell me earlier?" James said, after a minute of painful silence. "How were you able to just stand there and say NOTHING?!"

"Mad-Eye," Remus said quietly, still avoiding James's eyes, "and S-"

"What about him?" James growled, overhearing the second part of Remus's sentence. 

"He said, not to let you leave," Remus said, "I alerted him straight away."

"AND SINCE WHEN ARE HIS ORDERS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OUR TRUST?" James exploded in anger. Harry started crying and for the first time in his life, James didn't seem to bother about him. He was panting, his eyes were fixed at Remus, who was just staring at the fire. He clenched his fists.

"You can hit me," Remus said calmly. These words punched James into his brain, relieving him of the blurry, unclear state of mind and bringing him to reality. Harry's crying reached his ears. He turned away from Remus, picked Harry from the cot and kissed him on the forehead. He walked back to Remus and put Harry in his arms.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked him, but James didn't answer. He walked towards the exit of the room.

"James, where are you going?" Remus asked again, but James still didn't answer him. He opened the door.

"DON'T YOU DARE WALK OUT OF THIS ROOM JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER," James heard Remus yell and suddenly his wand flew out of his hand. James turned around, stunned by his friend's outburst.

"WHAT THE HELL LUPIN?" James yelled, "GIVE ME BACK MY WAND!"

"I WILL DO NO SUCH THING, POTTER!" Remus said angrily. "You will sit back down and listen to me, or I swear I will tie you to this chair."

"You don't have the right to stop me from going," James hissed.

"And you don't have the right to just orphan Harry," Remus said. James took a step back. He looked at Harry, who was silently listening to them, his eyes were wide open from confusion. 

"You can't just go running to Mungo's," Remus said calmly, "especially now, that the Order has already gone down there."

"I can't just sit here and wait," James croaked and Remus nodded understandingly.

"I know," he said, "we could always talk to Dumbledore, if you want."

"Do you think he's awake," James asked him. Remus shrugged and pointed at the parchment they had just rescued mere moments ago. James's eyes lit up and Remus opened the parchment.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said and James watched Remus's expression, as it searched the map to find Dumbledore's office. Very soon his eyes settled on one particular spot and James could see Remus's eyes widen. 

"What is it?" James asked him impatiently. Remus looked away from the map.

"Moody is in his office," Remus said.

"Already?" James said slowly, hope gathering in his heart. "Is-"

"No," Remus answered his unspoken question. James nodded, turned around and walked out of the room. Remus followed him, with Harry in his arms. James's walk soon turned into a run. He didn't talk to Remus at all on the way there. His mind was too preoccupied with worry or think about anything else but the information on Lily and Sirius's whereabouts. They finally reached the gargoyle, guarding Dumbledore's office.