Hidden Scars

1. A New Life Or A New Death?

It had been hours, you had been laying on the bathroom floor for hours.. At least that's what it felt like. The only sounds was the small droplets of water dripping from the shower.

The blood that had been oozing out of the wound left near your eye had dried up, you could see the bruises already starting to appear on your body.

Your mother and stepfather had been drinking again, you was getting ready for bed and had just taken a shower when your stepdad decided to barge into the bathroom throwing the empty alcohol bottle against the wall, shattering it into pieces.

He proceeded to call you the same old names.
'Slut', 'Worthless', 'Fat', 'No body' the list goes on but those were the ones he used most. Then he grabbed you by your hair throwing you to the ground, the small shards of glass quickly slicing into your skin.

He proceeded to spit on you, then started violently physically harming you in anyway he could. It happened all the time as he was always drunk. It lasted around 10 minutes at most. After that he just disappeared, usually you would hear the front door slam shut.

Your mother never laid a finger on you, she would never stop the abuse though, yes she did know about it she would just watch. To be honest you wasn't sure if she was completely there, most of the time she is staring into space, slightly swaying from side to side. Or even unconscious You had no clue what she was on or what she may have been drinking.

You was laying on your stomach, you slowly turned over to lay on your back and began to sit up wincing slightly from the pain. Although it hurt, at the same time you felt numb, you climbed up onto the toilet seat immediately grabbing your makeup bag from the medicine cabinet above the toilet.

You took the tweezers out and got to work gently removing the shards of glass embedded into your skin, once that was done you got some ointment and a cotton pad to treat your wounds. After your wounds had been treated you got to work cleaning up your step fathers mess. If you didn't he would punish you like he always did if you didn't clean up after him.

Your mom and dad separated when you was young due to your mom having an affair, you didn't really know what was going on but you remembered being upset. Your dad went on to move onto a different country, you never speak to him for some unknown reason. You often wonder how his life is now though, your mother immediately started drinking after the break up and your step dad moved in within a few months after the break up. You knew that he was the man your mother had an affair with.

It was fine living with them, you rarely spoke to your step father it wasn't until after you left school your stepfather started putting his filthy hands on you. It started with him arguing with you nearly everyday, then escalated to him degrading you all the time and ending with him physically harming you. He isolated you from your friends and even broke your phone so you can't message them anymore.

The abuse has been going on for years now, every time you tried to leave your stepfather would hold your mom at gunpoint threatening to shoot her, every time your stepfather left the house you was beaten to a pulp, unable to move, so you wasn't able to escape after he left either. He had brainwashed you into thinking if you left when he was gone he would kill your mom like he always said and come and find you. Either way even If you did leave you had no where to go it's impossible trying to look for a job with several bruises and open wounds visible on your face.

Fighting back was not an option, your stepfather was twice the size of you. You rarely got to eat so you was very underweight and had no muscle.

You had finally finished cleaning, you made your way to your bedroom which was the cleanest room in the house. Your house was filled with empty beer cans and alcohol bottles, takeaway packaging, unknown substances in clear packaging and cigarette butts scattered in every corner.

You laid on your bed and once again drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

How long will you live like this?
—

It had been a week since your last assault. The heavy fall of rain could be heard from outside, the clashing sounds of thunder closely followed. Your stepfathers outline could be seen in the doorway being illuminated by the rare occasion of the lightening.

Once again you had been thrown on the floor, this time in the front room. Your mother oblivious to what is happening as she blankly stares at the static tv screen.

Something felt different, in all the years of your abuse.. A look you had never seen before had appeared on your step fathers face, a manic look.

He took a big swig of what was left of the alcohol in the bottle he was holding before harshly throwing it, aiming at you but landing at the wall behind you.

He reached behind him, pulling out a sharp knife.

'Today, the day.. I finally kill you.' he said wielding the knife in front of your face, your stepfathers words came out slurred and slow.

He staggered towards you, tripping slightly putting his hand on the wall to keep his balance.

Is this finally the end for you? You die without no one even knowing, murdered by your heartless inhumane stepfather who doesn't deserve to be breathing. Your whole life ahead of you going to waste.

You closed your eyes.

Your dreams of traveling the world, chasing your dream job, meeting all kinds of new people, maybe having a family of your own. All that will be gone in a matter of seconds.

You didn't feel an ounce of fear, nothing at all. You used to always think of yourself as such a strong person who could overcome anything and everything, where was that person now? That person would have been out of the house years ago. Would have outsmarted your stepdad, unfortunately that person lost hope years ago.

You opened your eyes to see your stepdad right in front of you, his face illuminated by the lightning flashing through the window, his eyes looked like they could pop out at any second, you wasn't sure if his smile could get anymore wider, meaner than what it was.

But.. What was this feeling burning up inside of you, it felt like when you're on a rollercoaster just before the drop. Was it adrenaline?

No you couldn't die yet, not yet. There was so much yet for you to experience. Why couldn't you realize it before? You was an idiot, trapped in hell for several years, giving up all hope on your own life and accepting that you will be a slave to your stepfather and only now you're acknowledging all there is to experience as your life flashed before your eyes.

A thousand thoughts rushed through your mind, before your stepfather could lean down and stab you with the knife you kicked him..

Full force..

Right where it hurts.

Your step dad immediately dropped the weapon clutching his private parts yelling every curse word in the dictionary, rambling on about all the things he will do to you now and how much trouble you was now in.

You had no idea where this sudden courage and burst of energy came from. Whilst your stepdad was wounded you wasted no time, quickly scrambling up to your feet making a break for the back door. It will be locked you just know it how could not be.

You made it at the door your heart still rapidly pounding, you placed your hand on the door handle twisting it.. It opened, today really wasn't your day to die.

The door was open! A wave of fresh air you hadn't smelt in so long hit you in the face. The fresh rain droplets gently running down your face. You hoped he wouldn't kill your mom.

'I'm sorry mom.'

And then you was gone.